Practicing personal development

A huge part of my recovery has been about learning to believe in myself. In a way, writing my blog was a form of personal development for me in the earlier stages of my recovery as it was through motivating others to start believing in themselves, that I actually started doing it myself. In a way, it was kind of like 'faking it until I made it'. To begin with I didn't truly believe what I was saying, about being able to recover and love myself for who I was. But eventually, after saying it enough times and encouraging others to do it I started to truly believe it myself.

 If you don't believe in yourself, recovery is almost impossible. You need to believe in yourself in order to fight your anorexia and beat it. Otherwise, chances are you will give into the demands of your anorexia and never get better. I truly believe that mindset is the most important thing when it comes to achieving anything at all, whether it be recovery or something else entirely. That is why I practice personal development, every single day.

Although I don't write on my blog so much anymore, I watch lots of motivations videos which I find so inspiring. I wish that I had known about these videos when I was trying to recover, as I think they would have really helped me to develop the mindset I needed to recover. They certainly helped me in my final stages of recovery and are continuing to improve my mindset and help me overcome obstacles and strive to reach my full potential, every single day.

Here are a few links to some motivational videos I like to watch as well as some of my favourite motivational quotes. If you would like to start practicing personal development, just type in 'motivational speech compilation' or 'motivational videos' and thousands come up! Seriously, give it a go. I promise you won't regret it! :) xx

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=impossible+is+nothing&&view=detail&mid=7BAE9483B24E152C02847BAE9483B24E152C0284&FORM=VRDGAR

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=commit+yourself+motivation&&view=detail&mid=C8C1D73FCC35E5F62FE1C8C1D73FCC35E5F62FE1&FORM=VRDGAR

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=time+to+move+on+motivation&&view=detail&mid=823B676F68184E208925823B676F68184E208925&FORM=VRDGAR

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=its+up+to+you+motivational&&view=detail&mid=EBB05175626A10578695EBB05175626A10578695&FORM=VRDGAR

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=when+life+hits+you+motic%3dvation&&view=detail&mid=6B9BFF7CB9C060DF68066B9BFF7CB9C060DF6806&FORM=VRDGAR

Birthday weekend and booty lifestyle 4 week Challenge

Hi everyone :) I hope that like me you had a fantastic weekend and are now feeling pumped and ready to start a brand new week! Since it was such a busy week last week at uni with tests and assignments, it was so nice just to have a celebratory weekend where I could just let loose with friends and have fun. I asked one of my good friends from Hobart to come up to Launceston for the weekend so that we could go out with some of my other friends for a birthday dinner on Saturday night. It didnt really feel like my birthday dinner as it was almost a week after my actual birthday but we still had a great time. 

On Saturday morning my boyfriend, my cousin and my friend from hobart all went to the christmas hills raspberry farm for brunch and it was delicious. I had full intentions of treating myself to something sweet like pancakes however when we arrived, I started craving something savoury so I ended up getting a fetta and leak tart with pumpkin salad and it was truly delicious. I also had a raspberry herbal tea and indulged in some chocolate coated raspberries for dessert. 

We then dropped my boyfriend back off at our place and us three girls headed into town to do some shopping. I as hoping to find something new to wear and eneded up getting a simple little jumpsuit which I planned to wear with some white heals. I then picked up two more friends and we all headed back to my place to have a few drinks and to socialise, before heading out for dinner. We arrived at the restaurant at about 7:45 where we met two more friends so there were 9 of us in total. I had never been to the restaurant we went to before but the food was incredible and it wasnt that expensive either. 

I had a dish called frenched chicken which was like a stuffed chicken that came served on a bed of sweet potato mash with steamed greens and a delicious sauce. It was one of the most delicious meals I have eaten for as long as I can rememeber and I scraped the plate clean. Luckily I still had just enough room for dessert so I had a banana split which came served with incredible caramel icecream as well as chocolate pieces and caramel popcorn. 

After dinner, we went out to a couple of bars where we danced and drank a little too, before heading home at about 1am. It was a great night and I had so much fun with all my closest friends! The following day I met two of the girls who had celebrated with me the night before and we went for a walk around the Cataract Gorge. It was really nice to get out in the fresh air and was a great way to end a wonderful weekend. I also spent some time doing a little study and preparing for the upcoming week at university.

Today I am starting a 4 week Herbalife Booty Lifestyle Wellness Challenge which I am quite excited about. Not only is the nutrition side of Herbalife incredible, but the community is amazing too. We all work together to motivate and inspire one another ti achieve our goals, no matter what they may be. For me, my goals are to continue improving my mindset, to nurture my body with the food, nutrition and exercise it deserves and to get stronger and gain muscle. 

I had to take some before pictures so that I can see the  physical progress I make over the next four weeks and when I compared them to the 'before picture' I took when I started my Herbalife program (almost 2 months ago) I was really surprised to see the transformation in my body. As well as gaining a kilogram I have become noticeaby stronger in my legs and arms and I am even starting to get a booty which I love! I am happy to post the progress pictures over the last two months if you like, just let me know!

I better leave this post here and go and get some study done. I have already been to the gym today so am feeling totally energetic and ready for the long day at uni I have ahea. I am also trying to take photos if everything I eat today so that I can do a photo food diary for the day xo stay tuned for that!:)

To The Person With An Eating Disorder Who Feels Like Giving Up On Recovery

I thought this article was great as it spoke of all the reasons why you should not give up on making a full recovery from your eating disorder. I hope you find it just as motivating as I did, and that like me it inspres you to continue fighting for full recovery. 

You deserve a full life

Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW 

Psychotherapist, Self-Compassion Enthusiast, Body-Image Activist

Maybe you just relapsed and the thought of starting over in the recovery process feels painful. Or perhaps you had changes in your weight, which is causing you to want to “throw in the towel.” 

It is so normal to be in a place where you feel caught between wanting to maintain your eating disorder and a desire to continue to seek recovery. Ambivalence and denial of the severity of the illness are common aspects of having an eating disorder. 

You likely have used eating disorder behaviors in an attempt to “feel better.” Behaviors like binging, purging, and/or restricting, may temporarily cause you to “feel better” and calmer. However, in the long run they only bury your underlying issues and cause you to feel even worse.

Your eating disorder may help you to feel “in control,” or “special,” however these are false illusions. The reality is, the deeper that you are into your eating disorder, the less “in control” you actually are. Rather, the eating disorder begins to completely consume your life and often becomes your primary relationship.

An eating disorder hijacks your true sense of self and identity and replaces it with an illness.

Some may argue that their eating disorder is the only thing that makes them “special” and are afraid to give up that identity. The truth is that the deeper one is in their eating disorder, the more one becomes a carbon copy of everyone else who is struggling with an eating disorder. An eating disorder hijacks your true sense of self and identity and replaces it with an illness. I guarantee that there are other traits or qualities about yourself that make you special and unique, which the eating disorder is currently masking.

If you are struggling with wanting to give up on recovery, I would urge you to recall what caused you to seek recovery in the first place. Living with an eating disorder is like having an abusive partner. Often your life becomes completely taken over by 24/7 thoughts about food, your body, and exercise. Many will find that they become increasingly isolated, depressed, and that their relationships suffer.

When you look back on your life at age 80, do you think that you will be fondly reminiscing about the amount of time you spent counting calories, avoiding social events, running obsessively on the treadmill, or hiding empty cartons of food in shame? Living trapped in an eating disorder is ultimately not a fulfilling life.

So what does recovery feel like? Just as no two people’s experiences of an eating disorder are the same, recovery may look different for everyone. However, ultimately recovery is when food and your body take a more normal place in your life. Recovery is when you can explore new passions (outside of food/exercise/your body) and build strong relationships with people who matter. Recovery is being able to explore the world and travel, savoring the food and taking in the culture of a new place.

Recovery is truly living again. You deserve a full life, one that you cannot have if you are still trapped in your eating disorder.

Recovery is laughing and losing track of time with friends and family because you are having such a great time. Recovery is also feeling sad or angry sometimes and dealing with disappointment and heartbreak. Recovery is feeling all of your feelings both pleasant and unpleasant. Recovery is truly living again. You deserve a full life, one that you cannot have if you are still trapped in your eating disorder.

It’s important to note that recovery is not a linear process. No matter where you are in your journey, it’s important to practice being kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can given the coping skills that you have, and you can also work to change and improve. It’s normal to have setbacks and to make mistakes, but what matters is that you learn from them and continue to work towards recovery.

I’d also recommend making a list of what your life could look like five years from now if you choose recovery and five years from now if you are still trapped in your eating disorder. If you are not working with a treatment team, it is also important that you identify specialists in your area that can help you. No one should go through the recovery process alone.

You didn’t choose to have an eating disorder, but you can make the choice to continue on the path towards recovery. No matter what lies your eating disorder may be telling you, your life is worth so much more than obsessing about food and your body. Imagine all of the amazing things you could accomplish if you devoted this time and energy to something positive. It may take some time, but I believe you will find a fulfilling and passion-driven life, one where you can finally say, “I am recovered.”

Marya Hornbacher, an author who recovered from an eating disorder, says,

I don’t remember when I stopped counting, or when I stopped caring what size my pants were, or when I started ordering what I wanted to eat and not what seemed ‘safe,’ or when I started just eating when I got hungry, instead of questioning it, obsessing about it, dithering and freaking out, as I’d done for nearly my whole life. I don’t remember exactly when recovery took hold, and went from being something I both fought and wanted, to being simply a way of life. A way of life that is, let me tell you, infinitely more peaceful, infinitely happier, and infinitely more free than life with an eating disorder. And I wouldn’t give up this life of freedom for the world.

Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW is a mental health therapist, intuitive eating counselor, and blogger on The Huffington Post and Psychology Today. She is a junior board member for The National Eating Disorder Association. She specializes in treating adolescents, survivors of trauma, and individuals with eating disorders and mood disorders. “Like” Jennifer on Facebook at Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LGSW. Or check out her website atwww.jenniferrollin.com

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If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorders Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.

Always remember....

 *if its healthy for you to do so i.e. if your NOT underweight

Please keep fighting, I promise it will be worth it one day

An overdue update

For so long I kept telling myself that I had to keep fighting my anorexia if I ever wanted to be happy and healthy. I hoped with all my heart that one day all the pain and hard work would pay off but I didnt really know for sure that it actually would be. I can now say, completely honestly and whole heartedly that recovery definetely is worth it!

At this time, for the first time in as long as I can remember, my life is simply amazing. Every day I wake up and cant help but think about just how lucky I am to be where I now am. I have the most amazing boyfriend I could have ever dreamt of having. Not only does he make me feel special and loved every single day, but he is also helping me to respect and appreciate myself, for who I truly am.

I know that if I had not recovered from my eating disorder, I never would have found Nathan and been able to make our relationship work. Although Nathan would be the most wonderful thing that has come out of my recovery, there are many other things that are great about being recovered too.

This year was the best christmas I have had for a very long time and I know that this was only the case because I have recovered. I didnt spend the day worrying about what I could or couldnt eat. I just enjoyed myself and made the most of spending time with my boyfriend and with my family. And I enjoyed eating yummy christmas foods too. For the first time in years I ate as much chocolate, ham, pavlova and sweets as I wanted and my anxiety was basically non existent.

Dont get me wrong. Occasionally I still get an old anorexic like thought or concern about my weight or something I have eaten. However I suppose the difference now is that I am strong enough and healthy enough to ignore these thoughts and to continie to truly love my life. I know I now have way too much to lose by moving back to where I used to be. Simply nothing good can come out of me listening to anorexic thoughts  however I know that  so much good can come out of me ignoring them.

I am sorry it has been so long since I last posted. I have been meaning to post for a while now, to let you all know that I am happy and healthy but life has just been so busy and it really has been hard to find the time. I hope that you too are continuing to gight on your recovery journeys and i promise you all that no matter how hard it may seem at times, it really is worth it!

My boyfriend and I at the Christmas parade

Amys primary school graduation dinner

Still love walking with Tess

I like this photo as I just look so happy 

I finally feel comfortable with my body

My cruise was a blast

Listen to your body

Please Remember...

Make it happen

How guys can affect our eating disorders

I feel as though a very important point to make is that we should not ever let guys affect how we feel about ourselves. The year that I first started to try to lose weight was the year that I really liked a boy but things didn't work out between us. Looking back now, I know that the reason things didn't work out between us had nothing at all to do with my weight or how I looked but at the time, I thought that losing weight may somehow solve the problem and make the boy like me.

I haven't really mentioned anything on my blog about this yet but I am currently chatting a lot to a guy ALOT who I really like and I know he really likes me too. We are both really open about how we feel about one another but even still, because he currently is seeing someone else we cant be together. This time around however I have not made he mistake of blaming the way I look or my body for things not working out between us.

I know that this has nothing at all to do with the reason why things have not worked out between me and this particular guy and I know that losing weight will not solve any problem. I adamently believe that we should never try to change our bodies or the way we look for any guy. In my opinion if a guy doesn't like us exactly the way we are, then they dont deserve to have us in their lives at all. Never again will I try to change how I look for any guy and as long as I am happy with how I look, that is all that matters! 

I felt as though looing weight would make me more popular and liked by boys but this was definetely not the case at all. I really hope that what i m about to say does not make me soound arrogant because I ddot mean to ssound that way at all, but I can honestly say that boys have shown a lot more interest in me again since I have become healthy. I can now see that there is nothing attractive about being underweight at all and that boys will like you a lot more if you are a healthy weight :) 

I know that this post is a bit random but it is just something I felt was worth mentioning. :)