Loving life

A lot has happened since last time I posted but I can honestly say I am currently happy and healthy and making the most of my recovered life! Just before Christmas last year my boyfriend of two years and I broke up. It was so hard  losing Nathan as he  was my best friend and the person I honestly thought I would spend the rest of my life with however it became evident that we wanted different things in life and unfortunately he just wasn’t capable of loving me as much as I loved him. So I accepted the fact that we needed to part ways and although it was incredibly difficult at the time, I can now see that it was the best thing for me! I moved home to Swansea with my dad and sister which was good timing really as my parents had separated not long before so I basically stepped up and took on the mother  role for my little sister. I also got a job waitressing at the local pub and made a plan to continue my university course from home in Swansea when classes commenced in 2018.

Everybody was so frightened that I would get sick again when I broke up with my boyfriend but I was determined to prove everyone wrong and made sure I continued eating well whether I felt like it or not. It took me months to stop feeling really sad everyday as I missed Nathan so much but it honestly has got so much easier! I have made some amazing friends here in Swansea which made the main difference  and love being home with my dad and sister. I have even mended me and my mums broken relationship and  have myself a new guy friend that I spend a fair bit of time with and care for a lot which has also helped me to move on from Nathan! It seriously would have been so easy to just fall back into bad habits when I was miserable and missing Nathan but I never skipped a meal no matter how terrible I felt and simply didn’t let my anorexia take advantage of my vulnerability. I new I needed to stay healthy and strong so that I could go on to live the life I deserved one day.

I am currently really happy with the relationship I have with food and have even gained a few kilo since moving home which has been good for me (probably due to all the socializing I have been doing which typically involves drinking alcohol and eating out with friends at restaurants)! I have also become relaxed enough around food just to graze on things that are laying around the house without worrying about the calories they contain or how much I have eaten each day. I no longer go to a gym which is something I was doing a lot of before I moved back home to Swansea but I can honestly say I like my body more now then I did before I gained these last few kilos! I feel more womanly and confident in my own body and still manage to stay active between walking my dog around Swansea and also waitrssing which is surprisingly an incredibly active job! I have been managing to balance my home,work, social and uni lives pretty well. 

I did find myself feeling quite rundown and exhausted over the last couple of weeks and I was suffering from quite heavy nose bleeds and headaches. I went to the doctor and had some blood tests which revealed I had become iron deficient and anemic so I had an iron transfusion a couple of days ago and am already starting to feel better! From now on I just need to make more of an effort to eat more red meat and monitor my iron levels to make sure they don’t fall low again. As well as everything else I am already juggling I have just bought a horse and joined a netball team so I am about to be even busier if that is even possible, so I can’t afford to be feeling drained or unwell! I am hoping to wake up tomorrow feeling strong and positive as I have a bit of uni to catch up on during the day and then have to work tomorrow night. Anyway so better go to sleep now and I just want to remind everyone that no matter how hard recovery may seem, I promise it is worth it! 

Stay strong and keep fighting, 

Karly XX

A few pictures from my morning

A few pictures from my day :)

A magical morning

My day

It is not hard to find five positives from my day today as overall I have had anouther great day. Feeling so happy and healthy all the time really is fantastic but I cant help but worry a little bit that it is all going to eventually come to an end. I know that I shouldn't waste time worrying about this though. I know I just need to make the most of feeling so positive at the moment and worry about feeling down, when and if it happens.

Positive 1: I worked at the supermarket today and it was no where near as cold as it was on the weekend when I worked. Instead of being 9 degrees when we got to work this morning, it was allready 12 degrees and throughout the day it increased to 16 degrees.

positive 2: I worked with my mum and we got along really well which was great. I barely ever see my mum anymore as we are both so busy with work so it was nice to spend a bit of time with her and have a chat. Even if it was just between serving customers.

Positive 3: Tonight I had yoga which as always I really enjoyed. Tonight was my seventh night of doing the yoga and I think I am enjoying it more and more each week. While I am not getting more flexible (as I am already incredibely flexible) I can feel myself getting stronger and I am also getting more 'in tune' with my body as the weeks progress.

Positive 4: As I looked around the room at yoga tonight and saw that I was not the skinniest girl and that there were in fact lots of girls skinnier then me, I did not wish for a moment that I could be smaller then I curretly am. For the first time I could actually say that I accept the fact that there are people out there who are skinnier than me and I am completely ok with it.

Positive 5: I made myself a delicious dessert when I got home from yoga. It consisted of a banana, vanilla icecream and chocolate topping. I haven't had this combination is an extremely long time but it was so yummy! I will definetely be having it again soon!

A couple of photos from tonight

Tea: Chicken breast schnitzel, mashed potato and pumkin with gravy and steamed veggies

Tess sleeping and looking cute as always <3

Dessert: Hot butterscotch pudding with vanilla icecream

A cold but beautiful morning for a walk (picture post)

Yoga and Pilates with Amy

This morning I had some fun doing a yoga andd pilates dvd with Amy. I bought the dvd when I was at my sickest but never actually had the energy to do it. Amy stayed in her giraffe onesie while we did it but still managed to do lots of tricky moves. I really enjoyed doing these exercises however I found some of them really difficult which just shows that I have quite a lot off work to do, in terms of strengthening my body again in terms of muscle. I am now even more excited about doing yoga classes each Wednesday night in the school gym.

My morning

It was quite mild this morning so I really enjoyed heading out for a walk with Tess. The beach was so gorgeous and still. If I didnt have to work I would have loved to stay down there for a lot longer with Tess as I love being outside when the weather is nice.

When I got back from my walk I had an hour or so to fill in before I had to leave for work so I decided to clean up my food cupboards, a job that I have needed to do for a long time but havent had any time to do. I was shocked by just how much food I had in my cupboard. Not only do I have heaps of soups, casseroles, pastas and packets of rice etc but I also have heaps of snacky things too like muesli bars, biscuits, juice boxes, muffin and pudding mixes Etc. Also the amount of breakfast cereals and nut spreads I have surprised me too.

I have decided that I really need to stop buying more food all the time and just use up everything I already have so for the next 4 weeks I am only going to let myself spend money on milk, bread, fruit and vegetables and nothing else! Hopefully this will also allow me to save some money as living on your own is awfully expensive and I dont usually get to save very much money.