My weekend

After watching my little sister at her dancing lesson yesterday, I headed to my best friends place. I had never been to her place before or met any of her family so she showed me around their farm and itroduced me to her family which was great. We helped Jozzy's brother move some irrigation pipes and I also got covered in dust whilst riding on the back of the four wheeler motor bike so I needed to have a quick shower before I could get ready for the party.

I felt a bit nervous going to the party as I hadn't actually officially been invited. Only Jozzy and her brother had been invited but theyy were sure that the guy whose party it was wouldnt mind at all. I was really happy when I got there as the Guy could remember meeting me at another party and didn't mind that I was there at all.

After just drinking and chatting for a little while, we all had some tea. There was barbeque meat as well as lots of different salads which I enjoyed. We headed out by the fire when it got dark which was nice and warm and we just had fun for the rest of the night. We listened to music, danced and continued drinking until the early hours of the morning. I met lots of really nice people who I hope I get to see again one day and overall had a great time.

After getting almost no sleep, I woke up with a head ache and feeling really tired. I said goodbye to Jozzy and everybody else and began the long drive back home. I got subwway on the way home which was nice however I regretted ating it as it made me feel really sick. I struggled to keep my eyes open all the way home and was so happy when I finally did arrive. Aftergreeting Tess I went straight to bed and slept for almost 3 hourd. When I woke up I felt much better so got ready and took Tess for a nice long walk.

Since getting back from my walk I have just rested and made myself some tea. I had chicken nuggets with BBq sauce with mashed potato and pumpkin and boiled vegetables. I read a few chapters of 'The Rousabout' which is the book I am currently reading and just plan to relax and watch tv for the rest of the night. Luckily I left my house in a clean state on Saturday morning so there isn't too much for me to do tonight. I really only need to have a shower and anything else that needs to be done can wait until tomorrow.

I hope that everyone has had a great weekend :)

Finally, a day off

I am so happy that it is finally my day off as I feel as though I have been really busy every single day for the past couple of months. I slept until 6:30 am this morning before getting up and making myself some breakfast. I wasn't really that hungry but still wanted to eat so I had a bowl of cheerios with milk as well as two slices of toast with cashew spread.

It isn't really going to be a very 'relaxing' day offf because I have a lot to do. My whole house is a big mess as I simply have not had any time to clean or tidy it so it will probably take me a few hours just to do all of my housework. My bag I took to Hobart last weekeend is still sitting in the middle of my loungeroom floor as I haven't had a ny time to unpack it and I have lots of loads of washing to do. Other then that I need to vacuum my whole house, clean my kitchen and bathroom and just tidy everything up. I always think it feels amazing one your house is clean as mess stresses me out sometimes so Ilook forward to a nice and clean house.

Today it is my cousins 16th birthday so  am going to go to her place for a birthday Barbeque tea. I am incredibely close to this girl and I would definetely consider her to be one of my closest friends. Even though I am 5 years older then her, we get a long extremely well. She is like another little sister to me really. For her birthday I got her a really pretty journal that sports girl were selling in partnership with the butterfly foundation which is the biggest eating disorder association in Australia. I ordered the jourrnal online but now wish I had ordered myself one too as it is so beautiful.

I know that I should just start my house work however there is so much to do I dont even know where to start. Perhaps I will procrastinate a little longer before I start cleaning. ;) I hope that everyone has a fantastic day!

so much for a rest day

Yesterday ended up having an incredibely busy day off. I got most of my housework done yesterday and I also organized a fathers day present for dad. I didnt know what to get him so I just decided to get a photo of us developed which I have framed and I have also got him some chocolates.

After lunch yesterday I went and visited one of my friends who I am going to Hobart with for my birthday and we made some plans. It is going to be a fantastic night and I am really excited. :D then I took my little sister to netball training and went and picked up another friend who I hung out with for the night. We had fish and chips for tea and had a great night.

It was hard to get up for work this morning though. I have a normal day at work today and tonight I am going out for tea with my family to celebtrate my 21st birthday, as I probably wont see them tomorrow. I will let you all know how it goes tonight. :D

YOLO- You Only Live Once

Getting my life back

As I have mentioned before, now that I am geting so much healthier, I am starting to want to socialise more again and enjoy my life the way a 20 year old should be. This has beeen quite hard hwever as although I want to start socialisiing again, I no longer really fit into the asocial groups that already exost in the little town I live in and I am  quite shy when it comes to going out and socialising by myself.

This Satrday night however I have planned to go out for tea witth a really nice girl who I met at the party a couple of weeks ago as well as two of my cousins who I get along with really well too. I have to work on both Saturday and Sunday which is a bit of ashaim however I am not going to let this stop me from going out and having a nice girls night out. Afterall, life is supposed to be hectic and busy when you are young and I really do just want to have some fun and live in the moment a little.

I really cant wait to have a night out with the girls and hope that it is just the first of many more  to come!

Busy weekend ahead

After working for the past 12 days straight, I feel as though I really need the weekend to relax and take it easy, however that is not going to be the case. This weekend I am going to my cousins 21st birthday which I am really looking forward to. This will be the first time I have gone out anywhere since november last year (I know, it has been a while) and I am actually really excited.

I would have been incredibely nervous once about going out for the night like this and socialising with lots of people however I am not feeling that way at all. I am just really excited at the thought of havng a great time with lots of people. this will be the first time I have ever been out since I have got much healthier too which is pretty exciting. I am looking forward tto getting out and showing everyone that I am back to my old self again!

It is being held at Lake Leake Pub which is really in the middle of nowhere, so I have no idea where I wwill even be sleeping. I wont be able to drive home as it is a really long drive and since I am still on my provisionary drivers licence, I can not drive with any alcohol in mys system at all. So I will either have to just sleep in my car or take a tent or something like that. It could be freezing cold as it was actually snowing at Lake Leake just Last week.

I am hoping to meet some new people as well as to meet up with some old friends and relatives that I haven't seen in a long time. My brothers will both be there too, so it will be nice to see a bit more of them as well. It does not start until 6 o'clock tomorrow night so I will still have most of the day to just tale it easy and reax which is good. Afterall, it could be a very late night tomorrow night.

I hope that everyone else has a fantastic weekend, I will have to let everybody know how the party goes! :D X  

How do I start socialising again?

A social life was just another of the many things that my anorexia stole from me. As my anorexia worsened, I became more and more disconnected from everyone around me. I no longer wanted to see any of my friends and I didn't even want to spend time with my family. I dont know why I felt as though I needed to be on my own so much but it just felt like the easiest option at the time.

Now I am starting to get better, I really want to start getting out there and socialising again but I really dont know how to do this. I feel as though everyone in the town i live in just sees me as the shy one who always stays home and never goes to any events of gatherings and they are right, but I don't want to be that girl anymore. 

I want to have friends or even just people who I can talk to out at the pub or at social gatherings. I want people to invite me to their birthday parties so that I can get out and show everyone that I have changed and that I am now a fun person to be around. It is hard to make friends in a town where there are so few people around my age however I really am desperate to start socalising again. 

In a way, I know that it is my fault that I am now in this situation as whilst I was sick i was invited to many parties or gatherings but never attended any of them. So now everyone just presumes I wouldn't want to go and so they dont even bother to invite me along. I wish that I even had just one other friend that I felt really comfortable around, so that we could go out together and then I could talk to new people too.

And something else I have started thinking about now, that I havent cared about for years, is the fact that I am now wanting to find a boyfriend. I had absolutely no interest in guys when my anorexia was controlling me but now I actually find myself longing for a reationship with a fantastic guy.

I think I just need to be brave and start living the way that a 20 year old girl should be. This may mean stepping outside my comfort zone and socialising with people from outside of the tiny town that I live in. This is the only way i am going to make new friends and meet new people. I just really don't know how to go about doing this.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me? How do you think is the best way for me to start socialising again with people in my small home town as well as ways to meet brand new people? I know that I need to make this happen for myself and that it won't happen on its own. I just dont know how to do it.