My new lifestyle

Prior to starting herbalife, I thought I ate relatively healthily. I tried to eat lots of fruit and vegetables and I avoided eating excessive amounts of typically unhealthy foods. After starting to transform my diet, I can see that my old diet was far from healthy and that it lacked protein as well as many essential nutrients.

I was eating as many as 4-5 serves of fruit a day which I tgought was a really healthy thing to be doing. According to the Australian guide to healthy eating however, this meant I was well abd truly exceeding the reccommended intake of 2 serves. I was also eating processed snack foods that contained lots of refined sugar.

Almost all of my diet contained carbohydrates, not because I was scared of foods containing the other macronutrients but because I enjoyed those foods. Only eats carbs however left me feeling tired all the time and I never seemed to feel full, even straight after eating a meal.

Now, I have been eating much more protein instead of only carbs and am freeling so much better for it. I am now eating more lean meat, eggs, protein bars, soy milk and yoghurt and have been adding protein powder to my morning oats too. I have also been trying to increase my intake of healthy fats too, although I know I need to keep increasing my fat intake as it is still quite low.

I have started eating more serves of wholegrains instead of as much sugary fruit and this, along with eating so much more protein which has helped me to feel fuller and more energized for longer. Also, eating more protein will hopefully allow me to get stronger and build muscle as I exercise. Hopefully this will help me to be the healthiest and best me that I can possibly be.

I am still loving my herbalife products and have just signed up to be a member. The thing to remember about Herbalife and healthy eating  is that it doesnt have to just be a phase, for me I want it to be a lifestyle that I follow indefinitely. I am so excited for what the future holds and for the first time, full recovery feels totally possible for me.

Feeling Fantastic and loving 'Herbalife'

Since starting Herbalifes wellness program, I have been overwhelmed by just how fantastic and positive I am feeling. Even though I am about 5 times busier now then I was before, I feel less tired and more full of energy then I used to. Since starting Herbalife, each day I find myself bounding out of bed at 6am ready to start my day. I am not missing my old eating routine one little bit as the foods I eat now are just as yummy, the only difference is that they are less processed and more nutritious.

The most wonderful thing about Herbalife for me by far is the fact that it is helping me to change my mindset in regards to food. For so long I have wanted nothing more then to change my realtionship with food so that I no longer feel the need to count calories and so that I start seeing food for all that it really is, which  is fuel for my body. Although I know that changing my old unhealthy mindset will take time as it is so well engrained into me, however I can feel it slowly changing and that gives me so much hope for the future.

I just feel so bubbly and happy right now and I think it is because I have such a wonderfully balanced life at the moment, which is something I have always really struggled to achieve in the past. I am studying at uni and meeting new friends as well as socialising with old ones, I am regularly going to the gym, I am spending heaps of time with my wonderful boyfriend, I am working a few shifts a week at mcdonalds (I'm glad im not working too much though as I dont think I would have enough time) and I am taking the time to cook and enjoy lovely nutricious foods to keep me fueled so that I can achieve all of this.

Would I reccommend something like Herbalife for everyone in recovery from an eating disorder?... Definetely not! I think it is the kind of thing that definetely has the potential to help in the very last stages of recovery however going on a program like this could do much more damage then harm if someone was to go onto it too early or before they were ready for it. So my advice would be to work away at recovery yourself (or with your treatment team) until you are weight restored and relatively healthy and then if you wanted to try something like Herbalife to help you make that final step to having a totally healthy relationship with food, then go for it. Maybe you will find it as helpful as I am! :)

Getting home from the gym today

Yesterdays lunch: wholemeal noodles with vegetables and 1 tin of tuna on crispbread

Todays lunch: Chicken and sweet potato curry with rice and mixed vegetables and a mug of herbalife peach tea

Less structured eating routine

Since starting a new job at mcdonalds, I have found it quite difficult to continue eating 6 meals everyday. Especially since I am usually gone from home for 6 hours or so, without a chance to eat.

To ensure I keep up my calorie intake, I am increasing the size of my meals as I decrease the number of meals I have. For instance today I only had time for 5 meals, but I increased the size of my first two meals and dessert to make up for it.

Although it seems as though I am forcing in much more food then I actually need at each meal, I know that this is what I need to do to make sure I get enough energy and dont lose weight. I know it is important for me to take this precaution as I still manage to lose weight much easier then other people, even when I dont want to.

What is your experience of this? Do you find that losing weight happens particularly easily after weight restoration happens? Do you have a possible explanation for this?

Finally, I will share with you my food diary for the day, as I know many of my readers enjoy them :)

Todays food diary

Pre breakfast snack (6:00am):
1 twist bar and 1 vanilla up and go supplement drink

Breakfast (9:00am)
2 portions of strawberry flavoured oats prepared with 50% water, 50% milk and topped with 1 large sliced banana

Late lunch (3:00pm)
1 packet of two minute noodles, 1 apple and 1 small kinder chocolate bar

Tea (6:00pm)
1 large serve of tomato pasta served on a bed of baby spinach with cherry tomatoes

Dessert (8:00pm)
1 tub of two fruits, 1 hot chocolate and 1 small packet of choc chip cookies (25g)

Me with my boyfriends cat Bella

Me with curly hair (since getting healthier, my curly hair has come back)

My relationship with food post anorexia

Although I no longer consider myself to suffer from full blown anorexia, I know I still do not have a completely normal relationship with food either. I dont really worry about the fact that my relationship with food is a little different to others around me as it is not particularly harmful. I find it quite interesting as I have noticed other people who have also recovered eat quite similarly to me.

Firstly, I prefer to eat larger quantities of low calorie density foods. So the size of my meals is the same as others calories wise most of the time, however my meals just contain a lot more food. This probably started for me when I had anorexia and tried to eat as much as possible while consuming the fewest amount of calories possible. So while I dont try and limit my calories anymore, I still enjoy the same types of foods so need to eat a lot of them to ensure I am getting enough energy.

Because I really enjoy lots of vegetables and salads, I add heaps of these to my meals which makes them very large in volume. 

It sounds silly but I think I also like to eat large quantities of food because I just really enjoy eating and love food. I eat 6 meals a day and hate skipping meals. It is actually a fear of mine to skip meals and being hungry makes me really anxious and upset. I would much prefer to eat 6 small meals than 5 larger ones each day, even if it means I have to get up early so that I can do so.

Even though my meals are large, I eat them really fast which people often notice and are astonished by. I dont know why I eat so fast, but I have always the first to finish a meal ever since I started my recovery. I remember when I was really sick I used to eat my meals incredibely slowly, at an attemp to savour of morsal of food. But I suppose I just dont feel the need to do this anymore as I give my body all of the food it needs and am less obsessed with food.

Unlike most people, I still keep a basic count of the number of calories I eat each day to ensure I am getting enough energy. Some people may say that this is an unhealthy behaviour for me to have and I can see where they are coming from. However I have found this to be necessary in order for me to maintain my weight. If i dont do this and just try to listen to my hunger cues, I often find my self accidently eating too little.

I always eat absolutely everything on my plate. I know that this is probably a really weird trait for a post anorexic to have but I always finish all of my meals. I think I started doing this so strictly in recovery so that my anorexia could not try and tempt me to leave food. (Because I always ate everything on my plate no matter how full I felt, my anorexic voice didnt even try to get me to leave any behind.) So I guess I have kind of been conditioned to not associate feeling full with stopping eating.

Eating extra sometimes

One of the hardest things to learn for me in anorexia recovery is that there really is nothing at all wrong with eating more than usual sometimes. Eating extra food does not necessarily lead to weight gain and it does not make you greedy either.

We need to remember that our bodies are amazing enough to use up the energy we give it, even if sometimes this is a little more than other times. It is only when we consistantly give our body a lot more energy then it needs, that weight gain occurs.

I only started to actually believe this when I experienced it myself first hand. Somedays, usually on the weekend with my boyfriend, I eat a considerable amount more than I usually do and on these same days, I usually exercise less too. I dont gain weight however, as I first feared I would.

Obviously my body just puts the extra energy to good use or perhaps it does get stored and is then used later. Either way I dont experience any noticeable weight gain and chances are, you wont either. So dont worry about eating a few extra calories here or there or exercising less somedays either.

So if you go out with friends and enjoy something delicious with them or just feel like a treat, dont be frightened to just do it. Food really isnt something to be frightened of and it isnt something that will hurt you. Food is simply what fuels our bodies and provides us with the energy we need to live happy and healthy lives.

If you still dont believe me and are frightened you will gain heaps of weight if you eat slightly more then you usually do, then please just give it a try anyway. It may seem scary but it is the only way you will see that eating extra sometimes cant hurt you.

In fact, I believe that understanding this fact really is an essential part of the recovery process and you wont be able to make a full recovery until you realise this. So no natter how anxious you feel about eating extra, I highly suggest you try to do it sometimes anyway as this is the only way you will be able to overcome this irrational fear.

Yummy Salad dinner

Tonight for tea I made myself a salad for the first time in ages. I never feel like eating salad in winter or when the weather is cold but today I was in the mood for salad so I bought some lettuce, tomatoes and capsicum which I added to some ingredients I already had at home. My salad also consisted of 1 diced chicken breast schnitzel, a small tin of beans, a large boiled egg, carrot, red beet and I also added dressing too. It was super delicious but next time I dont think I would add the dressing as there was already enough flavour without it. 

What did you have for tea tonight? I hope it was something substantial and delicious :)

Delicious breakfast

I didnt feel like my usual breakfast this morning. I have found that recently I just havent been feeling like oats so only have them every third day or so. This morning I just ate eactly what I felt like and that was lots of strawberries, a strawberry flavoured fruche and butter and strawberry jam on toast. It was a really nice and refreshing change!

I felt good waking up this morning after a good nights sleep and also because I knew that I didn't have to work today. I am having trouble getting moving this morning though as it is 8:15 and I still haven't moved off of my couch. Tess is getting restless and wants to go for a walk so I should probably get ready and take her, so that I can then get started on everything else I have to do.

After a beautiful and sunny day yesterday, unfortunatly it doesn't look as though it is going to be as nice today however its still not too bad. I think it is supposed to rain a bit throughout the day too which makes me think I should take Tess soon, as otherwise she could miss out on a walk all together.

Have a great day everyone! <3 x

Paleo Diet

Last night I watched a program called 'Sunday Night' which featured a story about a man doing a Paleo diet challenge which I found quite interesting. Dieticians are very sceptical about this type of diet and I must say that I completely agree. While I had heard the term Paleo diet used before, I actually didn't realise just how restrictive the Paleo diet is. The definition of the Pa\aleo diet is as follows

Paleo diet

ˈpalɪəʊ dʌɪət/

noun

noun: Paleo diet; plural noun: Paleo diets; noun: Paleodiet; plural noun: Paleodiets; noun: Palaeo diet; plural noun:Palaeo diets

1. a diet based on the types of foods presumed to have been eaten by early humans, consisting chiefly of meat, fish, vegetables, and fruit and excluding dairy or cereal products and processed food.

I honestly think that if a person wants to limit their intake of sugar and processed foods then that is their choice however I am not convinced that going completely paleo is a very good idea for anyone. For example, I do not think that people need to cut out all dairy products, legumes and wholegrains in order to be healthy. Early humans may have survived on only meat, fruit ad vegetables however I do not think that this means that it is necessarily the best way to live. Afterall, the life expectancy of people was much less back then, than it is now.

I do not think it is a bad idea to try and limit the amount of processed foods you eat and I think it is good to eat as much nutritious food as you possibely can however I think that eating only Paleo foods is extremely restrictive and not necessarily healthy at all. One reason why I would never go fully 'Paleo' is because I simply enjoy non Paleo foods too much. Some people claim that it is better to only eat Paleo foods as all other foods are not good for our bodies. I think it is fine to eat non-Paleo foods however, as long as you eat them along with nutritious foods and in moderation.

Some people may be intollerant to various food groups and may feel better for cutting prticular foods out of their diet however I do not think that there is any need to cut the non paleo food groups out of your diet if your body seems to cope with them fine. For example, no food groups make me feel unwell or cause me digestive discomfort so I do not avoid any food groups and do not think it is necessary for me to do so. I think I have spent enough of my life worrying about food and restricting what I eat to continue doing it anymore for no good reason. 

I agree with what was written as the 'bottom line' on the UPMC website

My Bottom Line

If you want to "health up" your diet, by all means do. But rather than going paleo, try this:

• Do eat three meals a day.
• Do include some protein at every meal and snack.
• Do include foods with color at every meal or snack.
• Do include some grains at every meal and snack, such as cereal, whole grain bread, rice, or pasta.
• Do include a little fat at each meal, such as nuts, butter, salad dressing, oil , or a little mayonnaise.
• Do be selective with some of the less healthy foods.

What are your opinions on the Paleo diet? Would you ever try to follow it yourself?

Day 11: 10 favourite foods

I am really happy this has asked for my 10 favourite foods as I always find it really hard to just pck 1 or 2 of my favourite foods. My top 10 would be.....

1. Chocolate (Chokito, Picnic, violet crumble, Dream, marvelous creations, twirl)

2. Rice pudding (Chocolate or Vanilla)

3. Fresh Fruit (Peaches, Bananas, Apples, Berries, Watermelon, grapes)

4. Oats (Creamy vanilla & Honey)

5. Fresh Bread (In sandwhiches or buttered and dipped into soup)

6. Hot pudding (buterscotch, chocolate, sticky date, lemon) with vanilla icecream

7. Chicken Parmigiana

8. Nut Spreads ( Cashew spread, cruchy almond spread, sweet honey nut spread, peanut butter, hazelnut spread)

9. Pasta (Carbonara, bolognaise, lasagna, ravioli)

10. Homemade Pizza (I have mine with tomato paste, Mozerella cheese, capsicum, tomato, ham, onion)

Ok, so I know I have kind of cheated with this as I have listed more then 10 individual foods, but I just love food far too much too only piick 10 foods, so instead I have chosen 10 'types' of food ;)

Here are two of my meals from today that I really enjoyed...

I love food

I have always loved food, even when I was starving myself I still loved food. Most of the time I really look forward to all of my meals (as long as I am in control of what I am eating) and I am generally happy when it is meal time and I know that I can eat again. I did not feel this way when I was in hospital or when my parents were in control of what I ate however. In these instances I absolutely dreaded meal times and did not enjoy a single thing I ate. When I didn't let myself eat food, I tried to satisfy my love of food by cooking food for others, watching others eat and also watching television shows about cooking and eating food.

One of the reasons that I decided I would increase my intake to real recovery amounts was because I wanted to ensure that my metabolism repaired properly, so that I would be able to eat normal amounts of food in the future without continuing to gain weight. I am so thrilled that my metabolism is working efficiently again (although it is probably ruunning a little too fast at the moment) as I know that this means I will be able to enjoy lots of delicous foods in the future without having to worry about unwanted weight gain. I believe that this will allow me to stay happy and healthy and live an eating disorder free life in the future.

I highly reccommend eating large amounts in recovery for everyone, but especially for those who love food like I do and those who want to be able to eat lots of lovely foods in the future without gaining lots of unwanted weight. Also, for someone who loves food, eating large amounts in recovery can actually be quite fun (if you can try and block out what your anorexia is trying to tell you). Here are two delicious meals I ate tonight. I can honestly say that I enjoyed every single bite of each meal which is something I never thought I would be able to do again in my life, when I was really sick.

 Beef canneolli, corn on the cob, broccoli, peas and carrots

Hot lemon pudding with vanilla icecream

So if you anorexia is still stopping you from enjoying food, don't let this worry you as one day it will eventually get easier and you will be able to truly enjoy food again one day. All you need to do is keep believing in yourself and keep fighting for recovery. If you push yourself trough every meal, whether you enjoy it or not now, eventually you will truly be able to enjoy eating again. Trust me, it will happen (as long as you keep eating!) :) x

Pizza Time

My Pizza with Tomato paste, mozzerella cheese, capsicum, onion, tomato and ham

Amy eating her pizza which had tomato paste, cheese, pineapple, onion and ham 

We both finished our whole pizza and agreed they were delicious! :)

Facing a fear food

I had half of my afternoon tea (an apple and an orange juice) before picking up Amy from school and then we went and got icecreams from the shop. I wanted to treat Amy to an icecream because she went to a cross country running carnival today that she did really well in and knew she would be dissapointed if I didnt have one with her. She got a rainbow swirl icecream in a waffle cone and I chose a particular icecream I have been wanting to try for years.

As long as I can remember, I have wanted to try the strawberry and white chocolate crumble magnum but have always been far too frightening for me. I have always loved Magnum Icecreams but this particular flavour has only been released since I developed anorexia. It was extremely delicous and eating it with my gorgeous sister made it an even more enjoyable.

I am so glad that I have finally mustered the courage to try this icecream and I am sure that it is just the first of many of these icecreams that I will eat. I know its hard, but facing your fear foods is a vital part of recovery and something that will get you closer to becoming recovered. The first few times you eat a fear food it may be hard, but if you are brave enough to push through this anxiety or fear, eventually eating that food won't seem scary at all.  

Tea Ideas

Out of all my meals, tea is often the one that I have the most trouble getting inspired for. Often I dont know what I feel like or what to cook. These are some of my previous teas. I know they are quite simple and plain, but these are the types of foods I grew up eating and enjoy. I hope they give you a little inspiration. :)

Cheesy chicken schnitzel and Vegetables 

Ham steaks with tomato relish and vegetables

Chicken curry pasta with peas and carrots

Thai green chicken curry with vegetables on the side

Roast duck with tomato relish and vegetables

Cheesy Tomato pasta with broccoli and carrots

Tomato and herb Pasta with shaved parmesan cheese and vegetables

Spaghetti and meatballs with peas and mashed potato

Beef lasagna and vegetables

Chicken schitzel, baked tomato dish and chips

Mild beef curry with mashed veggies, peas and carrots

Barbecued porterhouse steak with vegetables 

Honey soy Chicken and vegetable Stir fry with hokkien noodles

Ham steak with relish, mashed potato and pumpkin and steamed vegetables 

Fish cakes, mashed potato and vegetables 

My favourite meal: dessert!

Tonight I made some lemon sponge puddings to have over the next week or so with vanilla icecream for dessert. Since I dont seem to have much time for baking, I usually just make packet mixes of desserts and cakes. I know it is cheating but they still taste really good which is the most important thing.

I find cooking the pudding mix in 4 separate mini pudding dishes is the best way for me to cook dessert for myself as it is mess free and also stops me feeling any anxiety about having to dish up a portion each night from one large pudding. This way I know I am always eating a substantial serving and it just allows me to enjoy what I eat without any extra anxiety.

When ever I am ready for dessert, all I have to do is get one of my mini puddings out of the fridge (or freezer), zap it in the microwave and pop some icecream on top. Other pudding I like are chocolate self saucing pudding or golden syrup pudding. Of course I also love my mini apple pies heated up and served with icecream. I also have some pre-made puddings that I bought incase I ever run out of desserts and dont have to time to cook.

Just being able to eat dessert is a huge achievement for me but to be able to say it is one of my favourite meals is even better. When I was sick I didnt think I would be able to eat dessert ever again but look at me now. Being able to eat and enjoy these types of delicious foods is just one of the many reasons I am so glad to be in recovery.

Super yummy afternoon tea

Since mum and dad are both working, Amy has come to my house after school. I havent done very much today besides resting but I feel fantastic for it. I always find it is so much easier to think more rationally and clearly when i'm not tired. I find that I am most vulunerable to my anorexia when I am exhausted or stressed which is why I avoid getting like this as much as possible. I know that while I am feeling energised and refreshed I am in the best frame of mind to fight my anorexic thoughts.

For afternoon tea I had grapes and I also tried a Cadbury Marvelous creations icecream which was so delicious. It consisted of creamy vanilla flavoured ice cream loaded with jelly and choc honeycomb pieces coated in Cadbury dairy milk chocolate and cookie pieces. 

 

I dont know if these icecreams are available in the parts of the world you live in but if they are I highly reccommend them. They taste simply amazing. I would also like to try the other two flavours. There is also a banana candy bubblegum fudge cookie flavour and a Jelly popping candy and beanies flavour.