I love food

I have always loved food, even when I was starving myself I still loved food. Most of the time I really look forward to all of my meals (as long as I am in control of what I am eating) and I am generally happy when it is meal time and I know that I can eat again. I did not feel this way when I was in hospital or when my parents were in control of what I ate however. In these instances I absolutely dreaded meal times and did not enjoy a single thing I ate. When I didn't let myself eat food, I tried to satisfy my love of food by cooking food for others, watching others eat and also watching television shows about cooking and eating food.

One of the reasons that I decided I would increase my intake to real recovery amounts was because I wanted to ensure that my metabolism repaired properly, so that I would be able to eat normal amounts of food in the future without continuing to gain weight. I am so thrilled that my metabolism is working efficiently again (although it is probably ruunning a little too fast at the moment) as I know that this means I will be able to enjoy lots of delicous foods in the future without having to worry about unwanted weight gain. I believe that this will allow me to stay happy and healthy and live an eating disorder free life in the future.

I highly reccommend eating large amounts in recovery for everyone, but especially for those who love food like I do and those who want to be able to eat lots of lovely foods in the future without gaining lots of unwanted weight. Also, for someone who loves food, eating large amounts in recovery can actually be quite fun (if you can try and block out what your anorexia is trying to tell you). Here are two delicious meals I ate tonight. I can honestly say that I enjoyed every single bite of each meal which is something I never thought I would be able to do again in my life, when I was really sick.

 Beef canneolli, corn on the cob, broccoli, peas and carrots

Hot lemon pudding with vanilla icecream

So if you anorexia is still stopping you from enjoying food, don't let this worry you as one day it will eventually get easier and you will be able to truly enjoy food again one day. All you need to do is keep believing in yourself and keep fighting for recovery. If you push yourself trough every meal, whether you enjoy it or not now, eventually you will truly be able to enjoy eating again. Trust me, it will happen (as long as you keep eating!) :) x