My younger brother Luke was one of the first people who knew that something was wrong and the understanding he had was truly remarkable. While I was starving myself at home before I went into hospital, he never talked to me about what was happening but apparently he spoke to my mum. I was very shocked when he said the following to my mum one day 'Telling Karly to eat is like telling a person with a cold not to sneeze, she cant help it mum.'
Everyone in my family was confused about what I was doing to myself but I couldn't believe that a 15 year old boy could show this kind of insight. Luke came and visited me in hospital a few times and was really nice to me. I didn't feel as though he was angry with me, just concerned. I was living with my dad and Luke when I lost all of the weight and ended up being my lowest weight which I know must have been terribly hard for them. They could see me literally killing myself but knew they couldn't do anything to help me.
Luke never once confronted me about what I was doing to myself, even though I am sure he must have wanted to. Luke did actively do a few things to try and help me though. Firstly, he recognised that my baking was a 'sick behaviour' so stopped eating everything I baked. It must have been hard for a 15 year old boy not to eat the chocolate slices and choc chip cookies I made but I think he thought by eating it he was encouraging my unhealthy behaviours. I was angry at the time but it did the trick as it stopped me from excessively cooking for other people, as I couldn't bare to see the food go to waste.
Luke also found me my baby pademelon wallaby, who I honestly think saved my life. This little guy needed my constant attention and gave me a reason to get up in the mornings. My life no longer only revolved around my anorexia, it also revolved around JoJo. Luke knew that having something to look after would be good for me as he this told me when he bought the joey home. He said, 'I thought it would be something to keep you busy and it would give you something else to think about'.
Looking back I think that Luke handled my anorexia as well as he possibley could have. Even though we aren't incredbely close now, I will never forget how wonderful he was through everything, even though it must have been very hard for him.
My older brother Damian had already left home when I got sick so he hasn't been as exposed to my anorexia as much as the rest of my family have been. Unlike Luke, Damian has not seen the raging arguments I would have with my mum when she confronted me about anything food or anything weight related and he never really saw just how much my anorexia had effected my behaviour, as he wasn't there very often.
I know that Damian was really shocked when my mum told him I had been hospitalised as before that moment he had not even known that I had any issues. Apparently he instantly started panicking about all of the times he had callled me fat, which is something that all of the boys in my family were guity of(you can read about it here). He rang me up whilst I was in hospital and I could tell by the way his voice was trembling that he was extremely nervous as he din't know what to say to me.
The whole time I have been sick, Damian only saw me a few times each month but it must have been hard for him, to see me thinner and sicker looking every time he came home. He never talked to me about my anorexia, only once when he was drunk. He just kept saying over and over agan, 'Karly I dont care what you do as long as you eat, you just need to eat'. I guess the alcohol made him express his frustration and what he truly felt about me and my anorexia, as any other time he was not brave enough to confront me about it.
Not only has my anorexia effected both of my brothers very differently because of how often they were exposed to it, but it has also effected them very differently because they have very diffferent types of personalities. My older brother Damian is a very care free and easy going type of person who generally doesn't let things worry him. So although he may not have liked seeing me so thin for the couple of hours he saw me each week, I dont think he would have spent any other time really thinking about it.
Luke on the other hand is much more up tight and doesn't have the ability to just let things go, so I think that my illness would have had a much bigger impact on him, especially considering how exposed he was to it. Although I am not incredibely close to my brothers, I do not think that our relationships have been hurt too much in the long term through me getting sick which I am very thankful about. I don't know if my brothers have really noticed that I am getting so much better yet, as they don't see me very often, but I am sure that they will soon and when they do I know they will be very happy for me and also proud of me.
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