Taking anxiety medication

For years my doctor wanted me to take medication for my anxiety however I refused. She thought that it would help a lot with the anxiety I had associated with my anorexia and thought that taking it would allow me to make more progress in my recovery. I had a few reasons for not wanting to take this type of medication. I don't think I was truly ready to get better yet and I was not yet ready to stop listening to my anorexia. I had heard that anti anxiety and depression medications could cause weight gain (which certainly has not been the case for me) so I was worried that my doctor only wanted me to take the medication to make me gain weight. I also felt as though taking a medication like this would mean that I was weak, as taking this kind of medication would mean that I was not able to get better on my own.

Eventually, I decided to give taking anxiety medication a proper go but it was not actually for my eating disorder recovery I decided to do this, it was actually just before I started my new job. I was worried that my anxiety and self doubt would prevent me from being confident enough in myself to actually do my new job at the bank. However once I started taking the daily medication, My anxiety did not only imensely improve at work, it also improved in regards to my anorexia as well. Now the amount of anxiety I feel whenever I fight my anorexia is much more barable, which means that I am able to start making more and more progress in my recover.

As I have been eating so much more and allowing my mind to repair, I have been able to think so much clearer and more rationally so my anxiety has got even better still. Once My mind is completely recovered I do not feel as though I will need to continue taking the anxiety medication at all, as I will be strong enough to control the anxiety I get from day to day by myself and I dont expect I will sufffer from anxiety, anywhere near as much once I make a full recovery. Afterall, it is only since I started starving my poor brain that my anxiety has gotten so out of control. I do not feel weak for taking anxiety medication and neither should you. As long as you recover from your eating disorder, who cares what you must do in order to achieve it (as long as you are not doing anything dangerous or unhealthy of course).

To me, getting happy and healthy is all that matters and if doing that requires me to take a small anxiety tablet each morning to keep my anxiety at barable levels whilst I choose to fight my anorexia, then that is exactly what I will do. I do not feel ashaimed of the fact that I was not able to cope with the extreme anxiety associated with recovery on my own. I am proud because I know that I  am doing everything in my power to ensure that I make a full recovery from anorexia and fight it every day with everything I have got! So please, if you feel as though your extreme anxiety is preventing you from sticking to your meal plan or doing any of the other things you need to do in order to recover, talk to a doctor about taking some anxiety medication. I know I would not have been able to make as much progress as I have without it and it really could be the difference between whether you recover from anorexia, or die with this awful illness.