Personal post

I took Tess for a walk this morning at 7:30 however it was still very icy and only 3 degrees celcius, so I was freezing. There was thick ice all over my car so I had to get a bucket of water to poor over my windows before I left to go to work so that I could actually see where I was going. Once again I had a really good day at work and my anxiety levels were extremely good. I still donr really know why my anxiety is improving so much but I just think that I am starting to become more confident and trust myself more.

For some reason I didn't feel right driving straight past my parents house tonight on my way home from work and since I was going to be getting home late anyway, I decided to stop for 10 minutes to see my dad. For some reason I have been missing my dad a lot lately and honestly just felt like giving him a hug and I also wanted to make sure he was going to be at home on Sunday so that I could go and have a proper visit with him. When I got back to my house I found a letter from my nan saying that she had taken Tess for a walk this afternoon, just incase I didn't have enough time to do it tonight.

My first thought was that I would still take Tess for another walk anyway but I knew deep down that this was my anorexia talking, not the real me. Afterall it was late, freezing cold and I already had lots to do at home. I certainly was not gong to enjoy the exercise and Tess didn't need it so the only reason I wanted to go was to make my anorexia happy. Once I recognised this, I knew that I could not go for a walk as this would mean giving into my anorexia and listening to it which would only set me back in my recovery. Once again I felt anxious due to not going for my walk but I just see this of an indication that progress in my recovery is being made.

I am so happy that it is finally Friday night which means two days off! Well, its not exactly two days 'off' as I have lots to do over the weekend but atleast I dont have to go to work!:). My sister Amy is coming first thing in the morning and I am driving her to her dance class which is about 45 minutes away from where we live. Then Amy will stay the rest of the day and also the night. We dont have any plans yet but I am sure we will find something to do. I will take Amy home sometime on Sunday and have a nice visit with my dad while I am there. Over the weekend I also have LOTS of clothes to wash (like three loads) and get dry, I need to vacuum and tidy the house and mow the grass outside my unit.

Have a fantastic weekend everyone! :)