Seeing my reflection

As I have mentioned before, I do not have a full length mirror in my house so I dont see my entire reflection very often which i have found really helpful in my recovery. This has meant that although I am obviously getting bigger, I havent really had many chances to notice my weight gain. Although I can obviously look at certain parts of my body (i.e. my legs, stomach or arms) individually and notice differences in them, I dont really see my whole body at any one time.

Sometimes however I do see my entire reflection and when I do see it, I am usually quite shocked by how much bigger I look. Yesterday I was walking up the street in a pair of jeans and I caught a glimpse of my reflection in some shop windows. Compared to how my relection once looked wearing jeans in those very same windows, I looked completely different. Me legs seriously looked twise as big as they once did and I started feeling incredibely upset and anxious about this.

I sarted feeling a bit down about the fact that I no longer look super skinny, like I once did but eventually I started to see that this was not a bad thing. I may not look noticeably thin anymore but I do look healthy! So what if people dont look at me anymore and instantly think about how skinny I am, I should be happy about this, not upset. Although we may not always realise it whilst we are underweight and sick, being underweight is not attractive. While recoovering we need to try and see our weight gain as something possitive, that makes us look a lot better as this is the truth.

I know that people would now see me and notice how much weight I have gained and this does make me feel uncomfortable, as Weight gain is something I have seen as negative for so long now. But the people would not be thinking, 'Karly has gained a lot of weight, which looks bad.' They would be thinking 'Karly has gained a lot of weight and she is finally looking better/healthier'. in recovery we really need to start trying to see weight gain as a good thing and something we can be happy/ proud about, instead of somehing to be asaimed of upset about.