4am thoughts

Considering I didnt go to bed until midnight last night, I know that I am up far too early but I simply couldnt sleep. I honestly think I have spent more time awake then asleep over the last 4 hours since going to bed as it is so noisy and windy but surprisingly I dont feel that tired. If I had to work today I would be more frustrated about not being able to sleep but since I dont, it doesn't really bother me.  I am the type of person who doesnt usually get angry ir upset about things like this that you simply cannot help or control, afterall getting angry or upset wont let me get to sleep either. Since I am home all day, I also know that I can have a sleep if I get too tired.

I almost felt hyporactive when I got home from the football at about 8:15 last night which is why I didnt go to bed until so late. I honestly think that the reason I felt so happy and bubbly last night was because I had spent the whole afternoon and evening with my wonderful dad. My dad is my rock and is the only person in the world that I never run out of things to talk about with. I dont know if it is because we are so similar but we just get one another so well. We spent 4 hours driving to the football and then home but I dont think we stopped talking the whole way. We chatted about everything you can possible think of; our jobs, our farm, whats been going on in our lives and also any of our current worries.

As I said, my dad is my rock but I think that I may be his as well. If either of us ever need to talk about anything at all, we know we can always rely on one another for support. This is the way it has been for as long as I can remember and I hope that it will always be like this. Unfortunately we dont get the chance to talk as often as we did before I moved out of home, as my mum doesnt like my dad and I spending time together. While I get angry that mum stops dad and I from seeing more of one another, it does make me cherish and appreciate any time we do get to spend together more.

Today Amy is coming to my house for the day which should be really nice. I always try to be there for Amy as she really has a lot to deal with as a 12 year old girl living in a very complicated household. I have made it very clear to Amy that she can talk to me if she feels she needs to talk to someone to talk to someone and luckily she is starting to do this a little more now. Up until recently she never wanted to talk about anything that went on at home, which really worried me as I knew that a little girl bottling up so much wasnt healthy. I think she now realises that she can trust me with anything at all and that she wont get in trouble for saying how she truly feels. I never push the subject with her either, as I can understand that she may just not want to think about our problems from home when she isnt there. I want her visits and sleepovers to be an escape for her, from any problems at home but I also want her to feel like she can talk to me if she needs to.

I hope the wind dies down today, otherwise it will be hard to even take Tess for a walk. Amy and I will probably just spend the day snuggled by the fire watching movies and tv series. Hopefully the power doesnt go off as this quite often happens in severe windy weather like this when trees fall on top of power lines.
I hope that everyone else has had/is having/has a fantastic day (this time difference thing can complicate things a little ;)).