A busy few weeks

Over the last couple of weeks I have not had the time to write any blog posts as I have been so incredibely busy. Last week I had two days of work at McDonalds and the remainder of the week I spent studying for mid semester tests I had this week. It was actually mid semester break so I luckily didnt have any scheduled classes for the week however I still got lots of productive study done as was therefore well prepared for my tests.

Unlike this time 2 years ago when I was at university, I am now able to do other  things as well as study without expeeiencing overwhelming guilt, remain happy and stay relatively anxiety free. For instance all last week I studied when I could, but also went to a daily gym class and spent time with my boyfriend in the evenings, when he finished work. I now understand that taking breaks from study is bot something to feel guilty about, infact finding a healtgy balance between study, work and the rest of your life is essential.

I also didnt spend that much time studying over last weekend as my family came to Launceston Saturday so I caught up with them for my birthday as well as fathers day. Also as Sunday was Fathers day, we went out for lunch with Nathans family. I still got a few really productive hours of study done each day over the weekend though and since I had already gotten a lot of productive study done the week before, I was feeling well lrepared for my tests and anxiety free.

It was my 22nd birthday on Monday however I was so busy it didnt really feel like ny birthday. I went to ny usyal early norni g Pupmp class and then just revised before I did my first mid semester exam at midday. The exam went really well and despite the fact I had not spent every second leading up to the exam studying, I was well prepared and feeling good. This just proved to me how important it is to keep a balanced life ALWAYS and that getting PRODUCTIVE study done is the key to success at university. I had a couple of hours to spare before I needed to be back at uni for a tutorial so I spent it working on an assignment that was due on the Friday of this week (today).

As soon as my tutorial finished, I made the hour and a half drive to Ringarooma to my boyfriends parents house. My boyfriend spoilt me with lots of birthday presents including new Asics shoes, a nutritional pro to make my morning shakes in, a gorgeous silver bracelet, chocolates and a bottle of bacardi which is the type of alcohol I drink (not that I drink very often). He also got me a card and wrote a beautiful letter inside, which almost made me cry it was so sweet.

Nathan didnt want me driving all the way to his house on my birthday however I didnt want him driving all the way to me as he had done so much driving over the days leading up to that, including that morning when he drove from my place to work.I didnt mind driving as long as I got to spend the night with Nathan and his mum cooked my favourite Tea for me, roast chicken with vegetables and pavlova and cream with berries for dessert!

I made my way back to Launceston early on Tuesday morning as I had to work for 3 hours at McDonalds and wanted to get a couple of hours study done before hand. After work, I decided to go to a gym class as there really wasnt much more study I could do before my second mid semester exam the following day. I had already prepared myself so well for the test it was really only a matter of reading through all of the notes I had already made. After the gym class I had Tea and then just revised for another hour or so before getting an early night.

I woke up at 6am the following mornjng and studied until 9, before making my way to the university to sit my mid year exam. Like my other exam, it went well and I felt as though I was as prepared as I possible could have been, despite the fact that I hadnt spent every second leading up to the exam studying. I had managed to stay happy and healthy while studying for my exams and still felt really well prepared which is a huge accomplishment for me, given my history of perfectionism and intensive studying which lead to me being completely miserable last time I was at uni.

After my exam Wednesday Inwas feeling really tired so instead of going to the gym like I had planned to, I just rested instead and worked on my assignment. I got another early night Wednesday night and felt incredible when I woke up on Thursday morning so I went to my usual early morning Attack gym class which was a great class as I had so much energy. After that I headed back to my place to my place and had breakfast before watching a lecture. After lunch I started doing some of the housework I had neglected to do in my study week and also did ny grocery shopping and put the finishing touches on my assignment which is now ready to submit.  I Spent the evening with Nathan which was nice and now its Friday morning!

I have quite a big weekend coming up and this is already a long post so I think I will update you all on that early next week. I also aim to erite some recovery advice posts next week as I know I havent done this for a while now. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Xx

My dad, sister and I on Saturday

Day 16: Your thoughts on education

This seems like a really random post topic but I will answer it anyway, as I wouldn't feel as though I was properly completing the challenge if I missed any of the days posts.  Firstly, I have been to both public schools as well as a private school and I would never say that either one is any better then the other. 

Depending upon who you are and what your school is like, I think that everyone has the ability to reach ther goals if they truly want to, no matter what type of school they go to. In sociology, we learnt that children who go to private schools are more likely to go to university however this may have more to do with the careers most of their parents have.

For example private school children are more likely to be from wealthier families and their parents most likley would have attended university and have successfull careers. they would then be more likely to encourage their children to go to university and further their educations.

Alternatively, the parents of public school students may not have successful careers themselves  (Some will but not as many as in private schools) and therefore will not value education as much and may not encourage their children to attend university as strongly.

I get really upset when I think that not everyone has the same opportunities when it comes to education as I believe that everyone has the right to fullfil their dreams, no matter who they are, where they live or how much money the have. In Australia, the government tries to make the education system as fair as possible which I think is truly wonderful.

I dont really know what else to ay about education. I think that since being sick my views on education have really changed. I used to think that my education was all that mattered but now I realise that this is not true. I used to think that I could only have a sucessful or worth while career if I went to university and got a fancy degree but I no longer believe this.

To me, having a successful life has nothing to do with how educated I am, but it instead is to do with my hapiness. I am 100 times happier now that I am not at university and I therefore think that choosing to stop studying was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I am not saying that you should not further your education if it healthy for you to do so as you deserve to make all of your dreams come true but you need to make sure you are happy and healthy while doing that. so overall, I believe that education is incredibely important but it is not the most important thing in life, your hapiness and health should come first!

Day 19: What is the hardest thing you had to give up because of your disorder?

For me, this would definetely have to be studying. For my whole life studying has been the thing that my life revolved around. I have always done really well academically which I honestly think is mainly due to nothing other then how hard I have always worked. In saying this, I now relise that the way I have always studied was very unhealthy as I put far to much pressure on myself to perform excellently all the time. I honestly think that I was just as obsessive about my school work as I have now become about my weight, calories and food. My obsessive thoughts just moved from one thing to another.

After working hard all through high school and college, I was unable to attend my final term if year 12 as I was in hospital because of my anorexia. I did not sit my final examinations but luckily I was still able to get my college certificate since it I was only unable to sit my exams bedcause of medical reasons. Studying and doing well at school was always what I put first but my anorexia changed that. Suddenly there was something that meant even more to me than getting good grades, and that was losing weight.

I feel as though I have had to give up on so many academic opportunities because of my anorexia and also my anxiety. I turned down an offer from university to study veterinary science (one of the hardest university courses to get into in Australia) because I had only just got out If hospital and id not feel well enough to move off to a new state of Australia by myself. I have also turned down a wonderful scholarship that were worth a lot of money that I recieved whilst I was studying a bachelour of biitechnology and medical research as I was so unhappy due to my anxiety and anorexia.

You can read an old post here about why I felt as though I couldnt keep studying. I still think I made the right choice to stop studying. It was really hard for me to do but I know I couldnt keep living the way I was.