Stop comparing yourself to others

While I was developing anorexia, I would compare myself to others all the time. I got so bad at comparing myself to others that I no longer wanted to go anywhere or even watch television as I would look at the people I saw and instantly compare them to myslef and feel so awful if I was bigger then them. 

When I got really thin due to my anorexia, I actually stopped comparing myself to others as much as I almost never saw anyone thinner then me, even whilst watching television or reading magazines. I have made a promise to myself that as I continue to gain weight I will not get into the habit of constantly comparing myself to others again.

Afterall, what is the point in this. All that matters is that I am happy with my body and that it is healthy. Who cares if someone else is thinner then you? They may be naturally thinner or they could be suffering from an eating disorder. This is no reason for me to try to lose weight. Our hapiness in life really should not be determined by how much we weight or what size jeans we wear.  

Something that really scared me about going into recovery is that once I had recovered, I knew that I would no longer be the skinniest girl in the room anymore. This worried me as I was so scared that I would begin to compulsively compare myself to others and feel awful aboout what I saw. 

I know that I am no longer always the skinniest girl in the room anymore but you know what, I am ok with that.  Because I am healthier and hapier then was when I was the skinniest girl in the room and I am happier with how I look now too. I know that being skinny really is not important and I am determined to keep believing this.

I found the following video online and thought it was really helpful. If the video won't work, follow the link and check it out! :) x

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GU87QNOqceU

Fears about blogging

While I have never minded telling the people who I love or know really well about my illness, I have always worried about what other people may think of me if they found out. Some parts of my illness I have felt quite ashaimed of and I know that there are lots of people out there who are very quick to judge those who suffer from eating disorders.

For years I was too frightened to start a blog as I didnt want anyone who knew me to find it and judge me. I was also worried about what complete strangers would think of me if I shared this incredibely personal and awful battle I have had with them. Eventually I realised that I had nothing to be ashaimed of and didnt realy care about whether someone I know reads my blog or not.

The reason why all of these worries have dissappeared since starting to blog is because I can see all the positives that have come out of my blogging. I have achieved so much more in terms of my recovery then I have ever been able to before as I feel 100% more motivated to recover. Who cares what people think of me if blogging helps me to recover. I would much rather be recovered one day then to remain ill for the rest of my life because I was scared about what others may think.

I remember being too scared to even write a comment on anybody elses recovery posts before I started blogging myself because I didnt want anyone to even see my name, incase someone knew who I was. Now however I dont even think twise about writing incredibly personal posts on my own blog. I have pictures of me and my name written all over my blog and dont really care who finds it as I am proud of my blog and what it stands for.



Also, having the opportunity to make a positive contribution to the online recovery community means so much to me. Even if 10 people read my blog and made fun of it, as long as I knew I was still helping atleast 1 person, I would keep blogging. I want to be able to help people suffering from eating disorders so much and at the moment, I feel as though writing  my blog is the best way I can do this. Nothing means more to me then when peple comment on my posts and tell that they have found my advice helpful or inspiring.

I know I am not recovered yet but for the first time in my life, I feel as though I will be one day. Thanks to everyone who reads or comments on my blog as you all help to give me the inspiration I need to continue on my recovery journey each day. Also, thanks to the other writers out there for your own recovery blogs and posts. I am so proud to be a part of our special little online recovery community and would reccommend it to anyone trying to overcome an eating disorder.