While I was developing anorexia, I would compare myself to others all the time. I got so bad at comparing myself to others that I no longer wanted to go anywhere or even watch television as I would look at the people I saw and instantly compare them to myslef and feel so awful if I was bigger then them.
When I got really thin due to my anorexia, I actually stopped comparing myself to others as much as I almost never saw anyone thinner then me, even whilst watching television or reading magazines. I have made a promise to myself that as I continue to gain weight I will not get into the habit of constantly comparing myself to others again.
Afterall, what is the point in this. All that matters is that I am happy with my body and that it is healthy. Who cares if someone else is thinner then you? They may be naturally thinner or they could be suffering from an eating disorder. This is no reason for me to try to lose weight. Our hapiness in life really should not be determined by how much we weight or what size jeans we wear.
Something that really scared me about going into recovery is that once I had recovered, I knew that I would no longer be the skinniest girl in the room anymore. This worried me as I was so scared that I would begin to compulsively compare myself to others and feel awful aboout what I saw.
I know that I am no longer always the skinniest girl in the room anymore but you know what, I am ok with that. Because I am healthier and hapier then was when I was the skinniest girl in the room and I am happier with how I look now too. I know that being skinny really is not important and I am determined to keep believing this.
I found the following video online and thought it was really helpful. If the video won't work, follow the link and check it out! :) x
Hi Karly, thanks for this post. I also compare myself to others all the time, but I have a problem to be the thinnest girl, I don't feel comfortable with it, it's just my anorexia that tells me that this is perfect. And I, like a fool, trust my ed and am too weak to change it.
ReplyDeleteHi Marie, Its good that you can identify your own thoughts from your anorexia's though. As this wll help you to recover in the future. You are not to weak to change it. You contain all the strength you need in order to fight your anorexia! You just have to start believing in yourself. <3 xx
Delete