Mum and I talked a lot about how she is going and just about life in general which was really nice. I have always loved my mum no matter what and I always will howeer this does not mean that it is not difficult for me still sometimes, as over the years I have really disliked her at times. I think it is wonderful that she is trying so hard to get better and I want to be here for her 100% but it is really hard for me to just forget about all of the hurt and heartbreak she has caused me over the years.
I really do hope that one day I am able to truly forgive her fo what she has put me through but until then, I will just continue to work on our relationship and remain friendly with her. Afterall, I don't want my mum to think that no matter what she does, she will never be able to make up for what has happened in the past. One day I really do think Iwill be able to move on and trust her the way a daughter should trust her mum however I do not feel as I though I can do that yet.
Everytime I feel as though I want to start trusting her fully again I cant help but think about the awful things she would say to me. I cant just forget the past, as much as I would like to at times, but I can keep working in the present to make my future wonderful, which includes forming the motheer daughter relationship with my mum that I have so desperately wanted for so many years. I spent all afternoon at home which was so nice and I am planning to start doing it more often as I enjoyed it so much.
I don't know if this is helpful to you or not because they are different circumstances but I will tell you anyway because I think it will give you hope. For reasons out of our control, we were turned against each other by my dad and step mum, and I didn't see my mum for around ten years between the ages of 10/11 and 19/20. We have had the most horrendous arguments you could imagine and it was very painful. Then I ran away and now I live with her and we get on like a house on fire. And in all honesty, my mum is one of the only, if not the only person I can be myself with. It is a completely different story now and we have a very open relationship. She knows my quirks and our relationship just works now. It took a lot of time and effort to get here, but it is a wonderful thing now. I wouldn't have it any other way. I am sure that with time and patience and hard work, you and your mum will achieve a beautiful relationship once again. It is possible to forgive and move on. I don't know whether I have been helpful, but I hope so. Thinking of you xx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this with me Annie. I am so sorry to hear that you were turned against your mum like that. Icant believe your dad would do that to you. I am so pleased that you realised what was going on and I think it is so wonderful that you now have a good relationship again. It has been helpful heearing this Annie. If you and your mum can get through that, my mum and I should be abl to get through this also. Thanks again <3 xx
DeleteYou're welcome. Painful as it is, I thought it would be helpful for you to hear and I really do hope that you and your mum will reach a good relationship in the future. You'll get there xox
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