Striving to make a full recovery

A really important thing to remember whilst recovering is that it is so easy to just stop half-way in your recovery, but you really shouldn't do this. As you can see frrom tthe list directy below, I have made a lot of progress in my recovery, however I know that I am not fully recovered yet so I need to KEEP FIGHTING. 

I think that so many people just stop in a half recovered state as they make the mistake of thinking that there anorexia will always be apart of them to some extent. I know that until quite recently I believed that I would always be anorexic, but I just hoped that I would l learn to control my anorexia enough so that I could still be happy.

Now however my ultimate goal is to make a full recovery, so that I can live a wonderful life completely free of tteh rules, worries and regulations that my anorexi arules me with. I will know when I am fully recovered as I will no longer feel anxious about food or weighta and I will not have a second voice in my head fulling me with self doubt and trying to kill me. Instead of saying I HAVE anorexia, I will be able to say I HAD anorexia. 

In saying this, I know that it is incredibely important for me to stay aware of how vulunerable I am to developing this illness so that I can ensure it never happens again. I guess it is a bit like an alcoholic who is sober for years. They are no longer really 'actively' alcoholics but they know they cant even have one drink as this could cause them to fall back to their old ways. 

I could stop fighting now as I feel fantastic and healthy but I know that if I want to have a truly happy and healthy life I need to continue with my recovery so that I completely beat my anorexia and get rid of it all together.  I realise I have probably left a lot of things off of the lists below but they are just the things that popped into my mind this morning. 

It was really nice to see that there were more things in the first list then the second list and even better that I have achieved most of those things in the last 4 months or so. Please remember that you do not need to settle for a half recovered state. You deserve to make a full recovery and you will, you just need to keep believing and keep fighting <3  

I know I am getting closer to being recovered because......

1. I no longer weigh everything I eat

2. I have reached an acceptable weight for my height

3. I have eaten most of my fear foods and some of them I eat every single day

4. While I read the energy content of foods, I take no notice of other nutritional values

5. I no longer count macronutrients

6. I can comfortably eat recovery amounts of food

7. I always follow my meal plan (intake target) perfectly

8. I think about food a lot less then I used to

9. I no longer feel the cold or suffer from poor circulaton

10. I can fit into regular adult clothes

11. I actually want to socialise now

12. I can think much more rationally 

13. I can concentrate on things other then food

14. I can eat out at restaurants

But I know I still need to keep fighting because......

1. My anorexic voice is still there, trying to make me feel terrible and lose weight

2. I still weigh foods occasionally, which I dont want to do

3. I do not feel as though I could start eating intuitively yet

4. I still count calories

5. I do not think that my relationship with exercise is completely healthy yet

6. I am yet to have a natural period ( I have only had periods while using a pill)

7. It makes me very anxious to eat things prepared by anyone other tthan myself