Feeling positive

After a wonderful and relaxing weekend I am feeling completely ready to start a brand new week. I am not going to go to work today expecting for things to be horrible with my co-worker. Instead I am going to go with a completely open mind and just hope that this week things will be better then they were last week. Afterall, I know that if I go to work with a negative mindset, this will reflect on my work and make me feel miserable before anything even goes wrong. I know if I try my hardest to stay positive I will have a much better day!

I am feeling so much better in myself and I think that this is because I am no longer feeling as stressed about what is going on at home. I talked to my mum again yesterday when I visited my family and I think we are now all on the same page. She knows she has to try harder and I can see that she is really starting to try her best which is all I will ever ask of her. I feel a little bad now for getting angry at her as I remember what it feels like to feel as though recovery is impossible and to feel as though nobody understands. 

From now on I will try my hardest to support her in everyway that I can. My mum actually said to me last night that now she is experiencing something simlar, she feels guilty for not supporting me when I was sick. My mum only ever got angry with me as she thought I was choosing to be anorexic but I think she can now finally see that I wasn't choosing at all. She can now see that recovery really did seem impossible to me and the only thing I thought I could do that wouldn't be unbarably painful was to continue to starve myself and to exercise.

I am happy with where I am at at the moment. I know I still have some more progress to make before I am fully recovered but I also know that I have done incredibely well over the last few months and made more progress then I ever thought was possible. So for the next week I am not going to set challenges for myself or concentrate on what I weigh but instead I just want to enjoy being healthy and being alive. 

I will keep eating according to my meal plan of course and keep blogging but as for everything else, I want to give myself a week or so off, so I can simply just be happy. Afterall, that is why we are recovering in the frst place, so that we can enjoy life the way we all should and desere to. 

I want to thank everyone (all my readers) for all of their support lately on blog and through email. I honestly dont know what I would do without you all. I received a lot more lovely comments and emails throughout the night that I will try and reply to asap. I hope that everyone has a wonderful week! :) Try you hardest to stay positive and wonderful things WILL happen!