Laura's guest post

As I have mentioned on my blog before, Laura is an incredible inspiration to me. Laura and I have a wonderful friendship and help one another on a daily basis. I asked Laura if she would mind writing a guest post for my blog and I was so happy when she agreed. I think she has such a wonderful recovery attitude and thought it could be helpful to some of my other readers too hear her recovery advice also. I hope you all enjoy :D


Hello everyone!

So I was trying to think of a good or interesting way to begin this post, but I can't think of anything, so I'll just dive right in!

My name is Laura and I live in England. I am 22 years old and recovering rom anorexia. I developed anorexia 4 years ago due to a range of factors, namely my need to strive for perfection and the fact that I never felt good enough. Through anorexia I was able to control my food intake to loose weight in a way I knew worked. There was a formula that guaranteed me results. It began as a ‘diet', and over time people began complimenting me, telling me a looked good etc, and then suddenly I was the ‘thin' one, with willpower, determination and the ability to succeed. I craved more and became afraid of gaining any weight or changing my ‘meal plan'/eating habits.

I won't go into all of the details, but I was hospitalised for several days due to an extremely low heart rate and other medical issues, and I was threatened with the notion of being ‘sectioned' to an inpatient unit. It was this that gave me the motivation to recover as I didn't want to be in an environment with other people that were also suffering from anorexia, as I was so competitive and fragile then that I knew that an inpatient unit would only make things worse for me, and would also take away even more of the ‘control' that I craved.

I have relapsed a few times and had many set backs, but I am currently at a ‘healthy' BMI trying desperately to trust my body to find its ‘healthy set point' and not restrict to maintain at the lowest possible ‘healthy BMI' for my height. It is so hard, but I am hoping to inspire some of you out there who are struggling, and not in a cringey way, but I just wanted to share some things that I felt are helping me with my recovery.

First off, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. No one has the same body, and, therefore, it is completely self-destructing and unhelpful for you to strive to have the same body or to look like someone else as this is simply unattainable, and will just make you feel awful. This is also why you shouldn't compare yourself to others, as YOU are YOU, not someone else. Comparison is the enemy, so please for your own recovery, sanity and happiness don't compare yourself to others, as that is a battle you will never win.

Also, even if people's intentions are good, sometimes you may need to ignore what they say, or the consequences of their actions. This is especially true for the times when people make what they deem to be ‘good' and ‘positive' comments that spark up that anxiety in you, and upset you. Take each day as it comes, and try not to get too caught up in the long term planning or future, as this will only scare you, and after all, you never know what the future brings! Try not to over think things as well, as this only kills your happiness and increases your anxiety.

Lastly, try to push through and reach your body's ‘set-point' and not get too caught up in numbers. This is something that I am struggling to do, however I realise now being a BMI of 19 that even at BMI 18 I was still quite focused on food and that now I feel so much less preoccupied with food and I want to see people and do things! So this only proves that if you really want to fully recover and get the best out of your life it is not worth compromising your food intake to remain on the borderline of a ‘healthy/underweight' weight, it is so much better to not be focused on food, to have energy to do things, to WANT to socialise, to concentrate that bit better etc and a slightly higher BMI, than to not have these things and be slimmer.

Trust me, I struggle with this everyday, but I know that I am doing the right thing as I can now fully focus on other things in my life, and for the first time ever I have a job as a waitress (that requires a lot of energy) that I can actually do without feeling exhausted or like I am not fully there mentally. In the past I have had jobs as a shop assistant and a waitress in the summer holidays, but I have felt so tired, been so preoccupied with food etc, that I didn't enjoy it, I just wanted it to be over. But now I love going to work, having the energy for it, socialising with the people I work with, and for wanting/having the energy to see my friends etc once work is over! So if the price I have to pay for this is a higher BMI, then so be it! My body is not the only thing I care about, my life is about so much more than that.

I've rambled on here, which is not what I wanted to do, but what I'm trying to say is please go for it and recover, and recover to the full. Trust your body and let go of the control and thoughts that your body and food are the bee all and end all, there is so much more to focus on and to live for. Don't let anorexia hold you back.

Love to all of you, especially those who are fighting this illness xxxxx