Recovery does get easier

I honestly believe that actually deciding you want to recover and starting to fight your anorexic thoughts is the hardest part of recovery. The moment when you stop listening to everything your anorexia says and instead start doing what you need to in order to survive is extremely diffiult and terrifying, but you need to remember that one day when you are recovered, it will all be totally worth it.

I guess what makes this so much harder is the fact that your mind is so malnourished and is not able to think rationally at the very beginning of your recovery, which makes everything seem so much more impossible. I remember thinking that I couldn't bare to recover if every day was going to be as painful as the initiial stages in my recovery but I can honestly say that it has gotten much easier with time.

As you get stronger and your mind starts to repair you start thinking more rationally and it then gets slightly easier to fight your anorexic thoughts, until eventually they dissappear all together. For example while my anorexia was with me every moment of every day at the beginning of my recovery, now I can go hours at a time without having a single anorexic thought.

It also gets easier because every time you successfully fight your anorexia throughout your recovery, it gets a little weaker and you get a little stronger. Time alone cannot allow things to get easier and allow you to recover. You need to actively fight your anorexia and ensure that you are making progress by challenging your anorexic thoughts.

So please, I know that starting to make recovery progress seems impossible but you just need to believe that it is possible and that you are strong enough to do it because you are. You also need to remember that it does get easier but you really do need to push through the bad days, in order to get to the better ones. I know that no one chooses to get an eating disorder, but we can choose to fight it and that is exactly what we need to do, no matter how hard it may seem.