I am starting to feel a little worried that my one month without the scale could be a bad idea. To be perfectly honest, I love not weighing myself as I have not been worrying about the amount my weight at all. Afterall, my weight really is only a number and it really does say anything about me in the ways that really count.
However, it is starting to worry me that I could be losing weight without even realising it. Looking back, it was probably a bad idea to start this challenge just as I was starting to make some changes to my intake and exercise. As now I really dont know if I have cut my intake back to much, considering I am exercising more now too.
I have worked so hard to get back to a healthy weight and I would hate to wait for another two weeks before weighing myself again, only to realise I have lost a significant amount of weight that I will then have to try and regain. Now I can see that it probably would have been better to check that I had managed to maintain my weight for a while before stopping weighing myself all together.
I have felt so free not weighing myself for the last 2 weeks and eventually, I really would like to throw my scales out and not weigh myself at all. People are so terrified of gaining weight and seeing the number on the scale increase even a little bit but what does that really matter, so long as you are healthy and happy. Chances are, if you gain a kilo no one will be even able to notice, in fact if you hadn't weighed yourself you probably wouldn't notice either.
It is times like these that I wish I had someone close by who I trust to blind weigh me, so that they could tell me whether or not I had lost weight without telling me anything else. I probably have nothing to worry about at all, it is only my anxiety making me worry that I am perhaps losing weight. Or maybe, in some twisted way, it is actually my anorexia that wants me to weigh myself, because it hates me not knowing exactly what I weigh.
My main concern is that I have lost weight but what if my anorexia is actually just concerned that I have gained more weight and it therefore is almost tricking me into weighing myself. I am feeling so confused about what I should do. I hate it when you cant distinguish which thoughts are your anorexias and which are actually your own.
I have such mixed feelings about this, all going through my head and I honestly dont know what to do. I would love any suggestions or advice, Please?
I did this challenge because I was 'scale addicted' and in 4 weeks I lost 4 kilos without realising it. For me, weighing myself once a week is good. Not too often. I don't like the number either. But I think it's important to face your fears and be able to see the number without panic. I am not afraid of my weigh in. I check the number because I don't want to loose weight and to get used to the number. It works after some time :)
ReplyDeleteWow Anna, thanks so much for sharing this wth me. It has made me feel a lot better about weighing myself if that is what I decide to do. Afterall sticking to a silly challenge is not really worth it if I lose weight because of it. So do you think it would be better just to weigh myself weekly, so othat I can ensure I am not losing weight and stop my challenge? x
DeleteI do it this way :) and I still feel free. You do it for your health, like eating. And once a week is not too often. The risk to loose weight is big if you don't weigh yourself at all
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself why you challenge yourself.. because you are scale addicted and need a break or because you don't want to see the number and feel bad because it's higher than before ;)
DeleteWhen I honestly ask myself, my answer would be the second one you said. Prior to taking up the challenge Iwasnt scale addicted at all, as I could go days or een a week without weighing myself and it didnt bother me. I guess I was just sick of worrying about my weight all the time and thought that by stopping weighing myself, i would no longer think/worry about it but this obviously isnt the case, as I am worrying about my weight now. Thank you soo much for all your help Anna. I hope you are well. We will have to fb chat soon ok? <3 xx
DeleteThat's what I was worried about, that you would lose weight without realising, unintentionally. Maybe you could weigh yourself, but not as often. You have to ask yourself why do you want to weigh yourself now? Is it because of anorexia or is it because you genuinely want to know? If it's anorexia, then maybe think twice about getting weighed, but if it's because you're genuinely worried, then hop on the scales. Maybe instead of twice a week you could weigh once a week or even once a fortnight, and then gradually cut down as you know you're ok with your weight? xox
ReplyDeleteThat is a great suggestion annie. :) i think i will just weight myself either once a fortnight or week, which ever i feel is necessary to make sure i don't lose weight. :) xx
DeleteIf you know you're eating well, you shouldn't need to check up on your weight gain I think. I don't think I've ever actually lost weight unintentionally haha
ReplyDeleteThats a good point emma. for some reason i seem to lose weight easier then most people though :( but i did weigh myself and havent lost weight which means i am eating enough! :)
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