Binging and Purging

The only time I have ever experienced the feeling of loosing control with food is when I was restricting what I ate and trying to loose weight before my anorexia completely developed. I suppose that this what the warning sign that my relationship with food really wasn't that healthy as I really was willing to do anything at all, to prevent myself from gaining weight, even if it meant making myself sick. Even now, I think I am still frightened of undereating as this is what initially led too me loosing control with food. 

Even though I have made a promise to myslef that Iwill never make myself purge again, I am still scared that I will put myself in a position whereby I feel as though I need to make myself sick again, after loosing control and binging. Although it has been years since I last made myself sick, I remember it as being the most awful experience of my life. It was so painful, both physically and emotionally to make myself sick and I never want to put myself in that position again. 

I think that the most important tips to help prevent a binge is to not restrict in the first place and too listen to your body and try your hardest to eat in moderation. Our bodies are extremely clever and know what we need. In my experience, it is only when we deny ourselves of the things that we crave and need that we eventually end up binging which leads to enormous guilt and then sometimes purging too. If you eat what you feel like eating in moderation, whenever you feel like eating it, then chances are you will not end up getting out of control cravings which will lead to you losing control with food.

Whenever I used to 'lose control' with food, I always knew that I was going to make myself sick afterwards the whole time I was eating. Inever ate enormos amounts of food when I 'lost control' with food so I dont even reallly know if it would have constituted a binge but it basically just involved me eating foods that I had told myself I wasn't allowed to eat. For example if I ate dessert one night, then Iwould tell myself that since I was going to make myself sick anyway, I may as well eat a few more nice things before I did. Idon't know why but I have always been quite ashaimed of the fact that I went through this but I now realise that it was nothing to be ashaimed of.

And finally, if you ever do over eat or binge, please DONT make yourself purge. As I have already mentioned, it really was the most awful thing I have ever done to myself and I would not want anyone to go through what I experienced. If you do happen to binge, just take a moment to realise what has happened and perhaps identify any triggers that may have led to the binge and then try your hardest to MOVE ON. Restricting after a binge is the worst thing you could possibely do as this just means that you are more likely to binge again in the near future. 

I know I don't really talk about binging and purging all that much as it isn't something that has effected me for a really long time and I guess I have learnt how to overcome it but it is still a really important topic that I am sure is relevant to some of my readers. I suppose my binging and purginng stopped when my restrictive anorexia truly began as once I developed bad anorexia, I stopped ever losing control with food and found a new way to control my weight that didn't involve my going through the pain involved ith making myself sick. 

I just wat to point out that all eating disorders are equally as terrifying for the sufferer and no one should ever feel ashaimed of what they are going through. Although there is possibely more attetion paid to anorexia in the media, other eating disorders like Bulimia, BED and EDNOS are equally as serious. So Ihighly encourage you to get help if you are suffering from any of these illnesses. No one deserves life with an eating disorder of any kind and recoveryr is possible for everyone who believes in it and in themselves.