I weighed myself this morning for the first time in a while to see that my weight is still exactly the same as it was months ago, which I think is a good thing. To me, this indicates that I am looking after myself and that my body is sitting at my natural set point weight. The figure I had before I got anorexia has returned and I have lots of energy to live the busy and active lifestyle I want to live.
I feel fit and healthy and dont experience any of the symptoms of starvation that I had when I was underweight. With a BMI of 19, I know that I am still quite small and that my weight is at the lower end of the 'healthy weight range' for my height and this is what I remind myself, everytime I have anorexic thoughts about wanting to lose weight.
To me, losing weight also means losing hapiness and that is something that I definetely am not willing to give up. So althoug I may not like and appreciate my body 100% of the time, I am able to accept is almost all of the time and whenever I am self conscious, I can manage to talk myself around and make myself see that the expectations I have of myself are not unrealistic.
When I am thinking rationally, I know that there is nothing wrong with my body at all. I am healthy and my body is able to function well at my current weight. I may not be super skinny but I am certainly not over weight either and have no reason to need to lose weight. In fact losing weight would make me less healthy anf harm my body, so I therefore should not desire to do it at all.
So when I do start feeling self conscious I just need to remind myself that it is only my anorexia making me feel uncomfortable and that my anorexia would make me feel like this, no matter how thin I was. And by ignoring these thoughts, I honestly believe that I will eventtually stop having them all together.
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