Am I recovered yet?

Somedays, I almost forget about my anorexia and spend hours at a time just feeling completely normal. The truth is, even though I may still have occasional anxieties about my weight and food, I don't really feel anorexic anymore. I have come so far after spending so many years sick so I suppose that it is only natural that I still have unhealthy thoughts sometimes. Eventually I hope to be completely rid of these types of thoughts, but for now I am still happy as I am managing to live and enjoy life.

I think that the only thing stopping me from declaring myself fully recovered is that I still am scared of eating particular foods that are very high in calories and I am frightened of overeating too. Also, even though I accept my current weight and believe that it is within my natural set point weight range, I am still scared of gaining lots more weight as I am frightened with becoming unhappy with my body again.

Its strange because if someone asked me, 'are you anorexic?' My answer would probably be no. Because even though I am not fully recovered, I do not consider myself to still have anorexia either. To me, anorexia means being obsessed with food, obsessed with weight, unhappy, socially withdrawn and unable to live a normal life. None of these things describe my life any more and that is why I no longer would describe myself as 'suffering from Anorexia.'

So I feel strange as I know I am not fully recovered and healthy but I dont feel anorexic either, so what am I? I suppose it doesn't really matter what I may be, as long as I never fall back to where I was and as long as I keep fighting for full recovery, which I strongly believe exists. One day I will be able to say 'I had anorexia, but I fought it and recovered' but until then, I just need to keep challenging myself and moving forward.