I love my life

For the first time for as long as I can remember, I feel completely happy and thankful for the life that I have. I love my family, I love where I live and I love my job. I simply love my life. My life still isn't perfect of course, but I think I have finally given up on the unrealistic expectation of having a perfect life. I know that there is no such thing as a perfect life and I have realised that you dont need to have a perfect life to be happy anyway.

For so long I have been unhappy, even before I developed anorexia. I guess that is a part of the reason why I developed anorexia in the first place. I was just so unhappy with my life and I felt as though the only way I would ever become happy would be if I managed to change my life. Unfortunately I chose the wrong things to change however as losing a lot of uneccessary weight definitely did not make me any happier, it just made my life more awful.

When I was sick, I was quite angry with everyone and everything in my life but now I am just incredibely thankful for everything. I love how close everyone in our family is and I am so thankful that I get to see them so often. I am so glad that I live in such a beautiful place and that I have my gorgeous dog to keep me company, even when no other people are around. I love living alone in my little unit and being independent but I also love the fact that I know my family will always be here for me, if I ever need them.

Now that I have made so much progress in my recovery, I am also much happier with my life. I love being able to eat yummy foods without feeling so guilty and I also love the fact that I am now able to accept myself at a healthy weight most of the time. Even though it has been a long journey, I am glad that I now truly undertand what is important in life and I think I also have a better understanding now about how to live a healthy life and take care of myself.

Even though I feel as though I have been to hell and back with my eating disorder, I know that it has also shaped me as a person in some positive ways which I am thankful for. I love the fact that I have made such amazing friendships through my blogging. I have also found that through trying to help other people to recover,  haave started to like myself as a person more too. Even though it is hard for me to say this as I feel as though I am programmed to believe that saying anything good about yourself is terrible, I really do like the person who I now am.