In this post I talk about my weight and BMI and there are also some photos of me when I was very underweight as well as when I am heealthy.
After getting up and weighing myself this morning, I was quite happy to see that my weight is still exactly the same as it was over a week a go when I weighed myself last. My weight has been stable for around a month now and my body seems to be able to run healthily and happily at this weight. I am feeling really quite comfortable with the way my body currently looks which is an amazing feeling as I cant rememebr the last time I was actually happy with my body.
I am currrently eating a minimum daily intake of 2500 calories and I really do feel fantastic. I no longer experience any of the symptoms that I once experienced whilst restricting or undereating. The most noticeable difference to me is not actually with my physical health but instead with my mental health. I find that I can now think so clearly and my anxiety levels are also much lower then they have been for years.
Some professionals may argue that I have not gained enough weight as my bmi is still only 19, which is at the very bottom of the healthy weight range.
I have spoken to my GP about this and she is quite happy for me to remain at my current weight. The goal weight she initially set for me was 50 kg and she was thrilled that I has chosen to gain even more weight myself. My doctor knows how thin my parents and my siblings are and also knows what my figure was like before I developed anorexia and she seems to think that my current weight is a healthy weight for me.
Sometimes I feel as though I should keep gaining some more weight but only so that I can be a good role model for my readers, not for any other reason. I like my body the way it currently is and I worry that if I gain too much more weight I will become unhappy with the way I look again which will lead to bad body image for me as well as a possible relapse. Also, if I was not feeling so healthy and happy then I would be more inclined to gain some more weight, however I am feeling so fantastic, it feels quite unneccesary.
The main reason I don't want to 'stop half way' is beecause I know that making a full recovery is impossible if I faill to reach my natural healthy body weight. If a time ever comes that I feel as though I am still anorexic and unable to make any more progress, then this is when I will start trying to gain more weight again. For now however I can still feel myself making recovery progress and getting healthier and stronger each day so I am just going to continue letting my body maintain, as it currently is.
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| July 2013 |
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| July 2015 |
Something that I simply cant stress enough is that you need to listen to the doctors and health care professions who are looking after YOU. Just because my doctor says that it is ok for me to stop gaining weight at the weight I am currenttly at does not mean it is necessarily healthy for you to stop at a bmi of 19 too. We just need to do what is the best thing for OURSELVES and concentrate on getting healthy and making a full recovery. Keep fighting everyone, we can do this <3 xx
I'm so happy for you. You've worked really hard to get where you are and even harder to stay there. My morning was rather disappointing as my weight dropped a little today. I've been trying so hard and it's so discouraging to go in the wrong direction. I won't give up but sometimes I think when will it sink in and I can get to where you are. I've got 10kg to go and it's so overwhelming. After many years I worry about the pressure on my family as I love them so much and they so deserve better. i'm taking strength in you Karly and I'm going to try following your meal plan and seeing how that goes. So proud of you - keep fighting and don't look back. xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Sonya for being so kind and encouraging. I really do appreciate all of your ongoing support. You will get to where I am Sonya, I just know it. You just have to believe it is possible and you can make it happen! Stay strong and keep fighting <3 xx
DeleteWell done!! You've done fabulous and i really enjoy seeing your progress!
ReplyDeleteI feel it is important though that i say please be careful that your not letting your anorexia influence your decision that you've reached a healthy weight yet. You have written a lot of posts lately and shared some of your body measurements trying to persuade us that you are a healthy weight.
However your posts show that you are frightened of gaining more weight and are not intuitively eating yet. You also say that you have the same body shape as before anorexia. But if someone other than yourself (with eyes free from dysmorphia) were to judge this would this be the case. I know this is a terrible comment but as a reader and someone who wants to see you to make a full recovery, i thinks its important that you think about it. But recovery wont happen if you cling onto that last bit of anorexia and stay in your safe zone. I just think that many people recovering from anorexia would consider themselves 'healthy' at the lowest weight they deem safe.... i mean who wouldn't!
Hi there Penelope,
DeleteDon't worry at all, I do not mind you making this comment at all. I really do appreciate your honesty and concern. :) You are totally right, if I am still yet to reach a healthy weight for me then I wont be able to make a full recovery. So if I get to a stage whereby I cant make any more recovery progress then I will start trying to gain some more weight again. However whilst I am feeling so fantastic and still making recoery progress everyday I am just going to take a break from gaining weight, atleast for the time being.
Thanks again for commenting. I love hearing from any of my readers, no matter what they have to say. I hope that you are happy and healthy :) x