Day 7: what are two things you want, what are two things you need

Typically I am not the type of person who wants things I dont really need. Most of the things that I want in life, I do actually need. For example I dont really buy clothes unless I actually need them and the same goes with food. There are a few materialistic type things things I buy myself however that I dont need like DVDs, my new phone and tablet.

There are also a few important things I dont really need that I want. For example I really want to help others who suffer from eating disorders to recover, both now through my blog and also in the future.

I know how hard recovery is and if I can make anybody elses recovery even just a little bit easier, then this will make me very happy. Ultimately I would love to have a job that allowed me to help sufferers, whether it was as a nurse, social worker, dietician etc. I think that it is also important to break down the stigma associated with anorexia. Unfortunately too many people fail to see anorexia for what it actually is, a very serious and life threatening illness.

Something else I want but dont necessarily need is to be able to have kids oneday. For me this involves finding the right guy, possibely getting married and being able to fall pregnant. I do worry that after all the damage I have done to my body that I will never be able to fall pregnant and have kids but I really hope that this isn't the case. If for some reason I couldn't have kids naturally, either because I never found the right guy or because I was infertile I would still want to have a family some other way.

I consider my needs to be things that I do not only need in order to survive but also what I need in order to truly 'live' while I am alive. Something I have learnt through being sick is that there is a big difference between living and surviving.

Something I feel as though I need is more of a social life. Yes, I know that to survive I dont absolutely need to have friends but to have a healthy balanced life you do need to have friends to socialise with. I have grown away from many of my friends since being sick and there are not many young people living in the town that I do. Hopefully through my jobs I am able to find new friends and that I am also able to repair some of my old friendships too. 

Another thing I feel like I need is to make a full recovery from anorexia. Again while it may be possible to suvive in a half recovered state, I wouldn't be truly living unless I manage to fully recover. I need to be able to live a life that is not revolved around anorexic thoughts, feelings and behaviours. I need to learn how to love and respect myself and believe that I deserve to recover in order to do so.