What blogging means to me

Yesterday my mum asked me how much time I spend on my blog each day and tried to suggest that it wasnt healthy to spend so much time blogging each day. I instantly felt extremely defensive and this is because of what blogging means to me. Yes, I do spend a lot of time blogging but as far as I'm concerned, this time is time very well spent.

There is absoultely no doubt in my mind that starting to blog was by far the best decision I have ever made in my life. Blogging isnt really that common in Australia but the day I found Izzys blog 'Living with Anorexia' almost two years ago, was the day I found hope. Before this time, I had not ever been shown anything to make me feel as though recovery was possible and I had accepted the fact that I would die with my illness. Whether it would be in a years time or 10 years time, I wasnt sure but I didn't think there was anyway of ever breaking free of my anorexia.

I read Izzys blog every single day but still found it hard to believe that making a full recovery was ever going to be possible for me. I went back to Izzys very earliest post and read right through her recovery journey. Throughout this time I went through stages of 'trying' to gain weight and get better but I wasnt truly dedicated to recovery therefore I was not very successful. Of course I wanted to be free of my anorexia but I wasn't ready to put myself through the pain of actually fighting it just yet. I was eating more so wasnt losing weight but was still too scared to make any big changes.

One day something clicked in my mind and after that, recovery actually started to seem possible. While I had been surviving, I knew that as long as my anorexia was there I couldnt truly live my life the way I deserved to. My anorexia had already stolen away a big part of my life and I didnt want to let it take away anymore. I had always wanted to start a blog but I was too worried about who may find it and what they would think. I considered blogging anonymously but realised this would defeat the purpose of blogging, if i wasnt able to honestly express myself.


I knew that to recover I would need to do things that scared me and made me feel uncomfortable so while I had a few worries about starting a blog, I did it anyway.  What better way to kick off my recovery journey then by stepping outside my comfort zone and doing something that I thought would be good for me and not for my anorexia.  While I had claimed I was trying to recover before then and believed I was trying, I wasnt really. I can now see that the day I logged into my blogger account 'Fighting Anorexia' for the very first time was the day I started my recovery. My blog has given me everything I ever felt I needed in order to recover but didn't have before.

The support I have recieved since starting to blog has been incredible and I will always be very grateful for this. Prior to starting my blog, I was recovering completely on my own. No one had ever been able to help me and I felt completely alone. I know that this is not the case anymore. I have lots of people to help me through my recovery journey and to offer me encouragement and guidence. Everyday I talk to new people who have had the same types of experiences as me and who can understand exactely how I feel. Before I started to blog I didnt feel as though I could talk honestly with anyone as I knew they wouldn't ever be able to truly understand so I bottled everything up.

Blogging has also given my life a greater purpose and therefore it has given me even more reasons to recover. To have people tell me that they find my blog inspirational and that it is helping them to recover means the world to me. It just makes me want to recover so much more so I can prove to everyone recovery is possible and so I can use my experience and fighting attitude to help others recover. Through blogging I am changing my life for the better and maybe even other peoples lives too and that is something truly incredible.