Having healthy relationship with exercise

If I had woken up on any morning over the last few years and had heard the rain, I would have most likely have instantly felt sick and anxious. The thought of being unable to go for my daily walk would have once terrified me, however this moning I did not have any of these feelings at all when I woke up to the sound of rain on my roof. In fact, I was incredibely excited to hear the rain as we are in desperate need of rain where I live at the moment and it is just what our farm needs.

I admit, that I do exercise a lot as my dog needs lots of exercise and I enjoy it too. Somtimes I find myself wondering if my relationship with exercise is uhealthy. Sometimes I do not know if I actually enjoy walking, or if it is actually my anorexia that just enjoys t so much. Feeling this way this morning was great though as it showed me that I don't have an unhealthy relationship with exercise. Feeling fine about having rest days because I am tired, too busy or because it is raining shows that my eating disorder does not control my exercise!

 To me, feeling completely fine about exercising proves that I do not use exercise as a form of compensation for eating. I just exercise because it makes me happy and makes me feel good. For example even though I knew I wouldn't get for my moring walk today, I still ate the same sized breakfast and morning tea as I usually do. It is uhealthy to feel as though you can only eat if you exercise. Sure eating gives you the energy you need to exercise, but you need food whether you exercise or not.

Feeling exhausted

After feeling energetic and enthusiatic about everything for the last week or so, I feel as though a weeks worth of tiredness has suddenly hit me like a tonne of bricks. After having so many late nights and so many early morning over the last week or so, I guess I shouldnt really be surprised that this has happpened. In fact, it is probably a wonder that I didn't start feeling like this sooner. Now I have hit  this wall of tiredness, I know that I just have to look after myself properly, so that I can quickly overcome it!

It has become clear to me that I cant continue to stay up as late as I have been, if I am going to keep getting up so early every morning. I mean, I didn't get that tired when I used to get up between 5 or 6 each morning when I went to sleep really early each night. However now I find that I stay up really late each night, sometimes as late as midnight talking to people and I therefore just am not geting enough sleep each night.

It is a really good thing that I am socialising so much now, as I really do enjoy it! And I feel as though I am truly living my life, the way that a 21 year old should but I also liike having lots of time in the mornings to get things done too. I love having enough time to have a nice breakfast, walk Tess and write a blog post before I have to be at work! So I don't know exactly where Iam ging to fit more sleep in but I know Icant keep burning the candle at both ends like I currently am.

Luckily, I managed to completely fight off the virus that I could feel myself developing before it really hit which is definetely a huge bonus but now I am just feeling tired and drained. I guess that drinking heaps of water, Eating lots of kiwi fruit (which are incredibly high in vitamin c) and also just keeping my energy up with lots of food, my immune system has just managed to fight off my cold, before it really set in :)

I didnt even have enough energy to walk Tess when I got home late from work today so I just cooked tea and relaxed instead. I felt bad, as I could hear Tess crying outside, wanting me to walk her but I already took her for a long walk this morning and sometimes I just need to put my health first. Afterall, I know that to keep moving forward in my recovery, I need to keep listening to my body. Which doesnt only mean eating according to how I feel, but also resting sometimes too.

Besides Taking Tess for a couple of nice walks tomorrow, I plan on just relaxing for the rest of the day. It has been so long since I have just watched series for a day and I feel as though that is exactly what I need! I hope that everyone is having a great week. :D

Some photos from my morning

Power walking- my exercise of choice

Power walking has always been my favourite form of exercise as it just makes me feel great whilst I am exercising as well as afterward. Whilst I was gaining weight Istopped power walking but it feels great to start it again. This morning I have already taken my dog Tess on a 6 km power walk and I feel fantastic and totally energised. I think I like power walking so much as I dont feel any physical discomfort whilst I am doing it like I would if I went running but I still know that it is good for me. I found the following article which talks about the benefits of power walking. Remember that you really should not be power walking if you are underweight or trying to gain weight, unless your doctor has told you it is ok.

5 Benefits of Power Walking

Last Updated: Jan 28, 2015 | By Aretha C. Smith

Power walking is a simple activity that offers many benefits. Photo Credit Błażej Łyjak/iStock/Getty Images

Power walking is a style of walking performed at a steady, energetic pace. Consisting of pronounced arm movements and brisk, wide footsteps, power walking requires little more than comfortable attire, proper walking shoes, and a love of fresh outdoor air. This form of activity offers many benefits.

Weight Management

Power walking is an effective way to help manage your weight. Since it works your muscles using intense, exaggerated movement of the arms and feet, it is an efficient method for burning calories. Walking at a brisk pace of 4 mph burns anywhere from 236 to 345 calories per hour depending on your level of effort. Thus, power walking -- in addition to a healthy diet -- helps keep unwanted pounds at bay.

Improved Health

Incorporating regular exercise into your fitness regimen helps combat illness and disease. When done with consistency, power walking can help raise good cholesterol levels and decrease bad cholesterol levels. Cardiovascular exercises like power walking help to lower high blood pressure and lessen the risks of illnesses like type 2 diabetes. Power walking also decreases the likelihood of serious health issues like certain types of cancers and stroke.

Reduced Stress

Power walking helps reduce the stresses associated with day-to-day living. One session every day helps redirect your focus and concentration away from stressful environments and situations; it is an efficient way to engage in time alone and release tension. Endorphins released in the brain through exercise result in a more relaxed disposition and calmer state of mind. Removing yourself from the hectic pace of the office or busy home atmosphere for a power walk can leave you renewed and refreshed.

Better Performance of Daily Tasks

Power walking uses both upper body and lower body strength, which results in stronger muscles and bones. Improved body conditioning provides better endurance for carrying out daily tasks. Regular exercise will heighten your ability to do challenging tasks like lifting heavy objects with ease; you gain a better sense of self, feelings of accomplishment and better productivity.

Convenient, Cost-Free and Time-Efficient

If you want to shape up without the cost of a gym membership, power walking is a cost-free method to meet your goals. If you are the adventurous type, power walking enables you to explore outdoor areas you are unfamiliar with while you burn calories. If saving the environment is your concern, power walking can transport you to your destination. You not only cut the need for a car but save money on gas as well.

If the family dog needs a walk and you need a workout, power walking is a convenient way to do both at the same time. Done anywhere, this activity is accessible and fits all different lifestyles.

source: http://www.livestrong.com/article/509626-5-benefits-of-power-walking/

A walk with my mum

I went for a beautiful walk with mum today while I was visiting my family around our farm. I havent gone for a walk on our farm since I left in February this year so it was so nice to do it again. I used to walk around the farm every single day when I was living at home, in fact today is the first time I woiuld have walked aroud the our farm while avtually being physically healthy, as I had been suffering with anorexia ever siince we moved to our farm, 'The Plains' almost 3 years ago.

Mum and I talked a lot about how she is going and just about life in general which was really nice. I have always loved my mum no matter what and I always will howeer this does not mean that it is not difficult for me still sometimes, as over the years I have really disliked her at times. I think it is wonderful that she is trying so hard to get better and I want to be here for her 100% but it is really hard for me to just forget about all of the hurt and heartbreak she has caused me over the years.

I really do hope that one day I am able to truly forgive her fo what she has put me through but until then, I will just continue to work on our relationship and remain friendly with her. Afterall, I don't want my mum to think that no matter what she does, she will never be able to make up for what has happened in the past. One day I really do think Iwill be able to move on and trust her the way a daughter should trust her mum however I do not feel as I though I can do that yet.

Everytime I feel as though I want to start trusting her fully again I cant help but think about the awful things she would say to me. I cant just forget the past, as much as I would like to at times, but I can keep working in the present to make my future wonderful, which includes forming the motheer daughter relationship with my mum that I have so desperately wanted for so many years. I spent all afternoon at home which was so nice and I am planning to start doing it more often as  I enjoyed it so much.