An incredible weekend

It's currently Monday morning and my gorgeous boyfriend has just headed of to work after us having a wonderful weekend away together. We drove down to Swansea late Friday after Nathan finished work and I finished university. We stopped on the way to get some Subway for tea which was yummy as always. Nathan wasn't feeling so hungry so only got a small 6 inch sub however I couldn't resist indulging in a large footlong sub.

We arrived at my parents place at about 8 pm and it was really nice to catch up with everyone. Both of my brothers and my sister were home as well as my parents which was nice. We were planning on having a sleep in on Saturday morning however we both woke up early so just got up and started our day. We just hung out with family until lunch time and then we headed into Swansea to watch the football. Both of my brothers play for our local football club as well as many of my cousins and friends so Nathan and I always enjoy watching it together.

After the football we headed into the club rooms to have a few drinks with everyone before we went to the pub for some tea. I had a delicious lasagna with salad and I ate it all and enjoyed every bite! We could only stay for a short while at the pub as we were heading to the annual football club ball. We walked to my nans house to get changed into our good clothes and get ready. It only took me about 15 minutes to get ready as I really am not the sort of person who spends hours and hours getting ready to go out but I was still happy with how I looked and was looking forward to the night.

We had a truly amazing time at the ball with some incredible people and it was definetely a night to remember. Admittedly I probably drank too much but I really enjoyed myself which is the most important thing. My favourite part of the night was definetely dancing with Nathan as well as my brothers and friends. I have always been the type of person who was far too self conscious to dance however I have no trouble getting up on the dance floor after a couple of drinks and really enjoy it! We went home at about 12:30 when the ball ended and just went to bed.

The next day I was feeling fine as fortunately I dont really get hangovers however poor Nathan wasn't so lucky. Unfortunately Nathan gets very sick after drinking alcohol so we just had a very quiet morning. It was my mums birthday so it was lovely to be there too see her in person and give her a present which she loved. We all went out for lunch to celebrate mums birthday before Nathan and I headed home. Luckily Nathan felt well enough to eat a little lunch and he continued to feel better through out the afternoon which I was glad about as I hate seeing him feeling so unwell.

Surprisingly, I wasnt sad at all about leaving my family in Swansea again, even though I dont know when I will see them again. I am so happy living in Launceston with Nathan and wouldn't change anything about my life. No one has ever made me as happy as Nathan does and the love I feel towards him is something I have never experienced before, even with family. I am loving my university units so far and am enjoying studing again and having more routine in my day.

I love feeling so full of energy and well now that I am doing Herbalife and eating more nutritious foods (although admittedly I did neglect this over the weekend). I have full intentions of resuming my new eating this week though as well as going to the gym when I can. ( I might evenpost a food diary atthe end oftheday today so you get an idea of what types of foods I am fuelling my body with.

I hope everyone else had a great weekend and you are all pumped and ready for the week ahead! :) x

Living without regrets

Sometimes I find myself thinking about what my life would have been like if I had never developed my eating disorder or if I was never sick. To say my eating disorder has taken a lot away from me would be an understatement. Not only did it steal so much away from me as soon as I got sick, it literally took years away from my life. 

Even though I often think of all the things I missed out on because of my illness, I know that I wouldn't change a single part of my journey so far, even if I could. Because if everything that has happened in my life so far hadn't happened, then I know I would not be where I am today.

 Of course it would have been great to never have gone through the torture and pain of having an eating dosorder and also recovery. But then I know I wouldn't be as brave and strong as I am today and I would never have learnt to believe in myself and accept myself as I now do. I also wouldn't be able to use my own experiences to help others who are going through similar things to what I have been through.

The main reason I wouldn't change a single thing from my past is because I know I probably would never have met my boyfriend. Nathan is, without a doubt, the love of my life and I know that if anything in my past had been different, then chances are we would never have met and ended up together. So although my journey has been painful, lonely and plain terrible at times, for me being with Nathan now is worth every bit of that. 

When people try to help you....

When I was at my sickest with anorexia, I wouldnt let anyone try and help me and if anyone tried to give me advice or help me in any way, I would get incredibely angry with them. The thing was, a lot of the time I knew what they were saying was right however it was just too hard for me to actually listen. I was living in denial I guess, and hated people telling me what I needed to do, even if I knew they were right.

This caused me to push away some of the people I was closest too, as I couldnt handle them trying to interfere with how I was living. I suppose the anger that came through was actually my anorexia, as my anorexia hated anyone who questioned my behaviours or told me to change. I wish now I had been more open about how I felt and had just explained to the people around me that although I knew what they were saying was right, it wasnt as simple as 'just doing' what they said I should do.

Afterall getting angry at the people I loved and pushing them away only made me feel more alone and helpless. So instead of just yelling and screaming when your loved one suggests you need to eat more or stop a behaviour. Try to talk to them about it rationally instead. Explain to them that you know they are right, but you just dont feel strong enough to actually do what they are telling you to do. Atleast then your loved ones will realise you arent just ignoring them and that you do understand what they are saying.

Even now, I still get quite agitated whenever someone questions what I eat or how much I exercise. Also, I get quite distraught when my boyfriend asks me if he can weigh me. I know that he only does this to make sure I havent lost weight and because he loves me but i still really struggle with it. Standing on the scale in front of someone causes me ALOT of anxiety and my instant reacyion when he asks to weigh me os to get angry. So i just have to be very careful not to get angry and to just remember that he only wants to make sure I am ok.

Whilst I was struggling with anorexia, I had a wonderful relationship with my dad however I had a terrible relationship with my mum. And I know that this is only because mum continued to try and help me, when I simply couldnt be helped. Also my mum couldnt contain her emotions or frustration so she expressed herself by getting angry, yelling and screaming. My dad however fortunately realised very early on that getting angry didnt help the situation, nor did telling what i needed to do. He realised that he couldnt really help me to get better, that i needed to get better myself and so he just let me know he was there for me, whilst I was doing that.

This post has ended up being a bit unorganized and I know I have rambled on a bit but I just wanted to share with you all how I coped when people tried to help me in recovery and the importance of being open with your loved ones about how you are feeling, instead of pushing your loved ones away.

Having a boyfriend has really helped me in the final stages of my recovery

While this may not be the case for everyone,  my boyfriend has helped me enormously to overcome the last few stages of recovery. I think that this has been the case for me because he is such a wonderful person who I have developed a very special bond with so quickly. While it has helped me a lot, it is very important to note that having a boyfriend is not necessarily always a positive thing in recovery. This depends not only on what stage of recovery you are at but also the type of person your boyfriend is.

Although I was already weight restored when I met my boyfriend,  my mental state has continued to improve in leaps and bounds. When we began going out for dinner all the time, drinking alcohol  and enjoying food together, I really was still scared of all of those things. But just being with such a wonderful person really did help me to get through all of those things and eventually enjoy them with no fear at all. Now I have completely overcome the fears of eating extra food on some occasions and also eating out and consuming liquid calories. In fact, I now enjoy doing all of these things!

The fact that my weight has remained constant since I have started going out and eating more sometimes, has really proven to me that its perfectly fine to eat more sometimes and that doing this won't hurt me. No matter how many times I read or was told this was the case, I never truly believed it. Nathan has helped me to really start living and in the process has helped prove to me that eating extra doesnt necessarily lead to weight gain and is not a bad thing. It has also shown me that missing meals sometimes wont hurt me either. I know now that our bodies are not calorie counting machines and our energy requirements are not an exact science.

Having someone who loves and accepts me completely for who I really am really has helped me to accept myself too. I really do think that my low self esteem and poor confidence is what caused my eating disorder in the first place and it was also preventing me from making a full  recovery. For a long time I knew that learning to accept myself was an essential part of my recovery and I was right, because it is only through learning to respect and appreciate myself for who I truly am have I been able to overcome the final few stages of recovery.

Occasionaly, I still have moments when I wish to be thinner or am not completely satisfied with how I look but I think that this is all just a normal part of being a girl and I never act on these thoughts. The main reason being that I know my boyfriend likes me just the way I am and there is therefore no reason to change. Also, I know that if I got sick again I would hurt my boyfriend and possibly lose him, which are two things I couldn't bare to do. So not only has my boyfriend helped me to make recovery progress, but it has also stopped me from slipping backwards in my recovery too.

An amazing weekend

As you would have most likely realised from this post title, this weekend has been another amazing one for me! After not seeing my boyfriend for 10 days, I was so excited to see him on Friday night. As usual we went to the local pub for tea and drinks. I had my usual chicken caesar salad which is my all time favourite food. It is so good to be able to eat foods like caeser salad which contains many different foods that wouod have once really frightened me withno guilt at all. Even though it contains things like cheese, full fat dressing, bacon, croutons and chicken, I still always completethe entire thing and enjoyevery single bite of themassive portion!

I saw this on facebook last night and laughed so hard 😂

On Saturday we just enjoyed spending time together. Except when I got up and walked Tess by myself as Nathan is always too lazy to go with me. We watched some of the cricket which was being played in Swansea and visited my dad and sister. We went for lunch at the bakery and then back to the pub again for tea. This time I had spaghetti bolognaise with a side of vegetables which was tasty too! My brother and also lots of the local youth were at the pub so we had a really great night and didnt leave until midnight. Many games of 8 ball were played and many beers were also drunk!

When Nathan, my cousin Siarne and I got back to my place at about a quarter to 1 we stayed up a little later snacking on chocolate and chips and having many laughs before going to bed. We didnt get out of bed until 9:30 or so and after an hour or two of watching telly and alsotaking Tess for a walk, it was lunch time.  After lunch Nathan and I went and picked up my little sister and cousin and took them up the cranbrook river swimming. The water hole was really full after our recentfloods so the girls had a great time swimming.

Please remember that it is possible to like your body at a healthy weight. Although I am no longer super skinny, I do accept my body the way it is and have no desire to be thinner then I currently am.

The only bad part of the weekend was when Nathan had to leave so that he could start the 3 hour trip back to where he lives. I miss him so much during the week when we are a part but I know the next five days will fly by and I will be with him again before I know it! This weekend I am going up to Launceston to meet him so that we can go to festivale, whichnis a food and wine festival. It will also be valentines day and since this is my first valentines day with a boyfriend, I cant wait!

An overdue update

For so long I kept telling myself that I had to keep fighting my anorexia if I ever wanted to be happy and healthy. I hoped with all my heart that one day all the pain and hard work would pay off but I didnt really know for sure that it actually would be. I can now say, completely honestly and whole heartedly that recovery definetely is worth it!

At this time, for the first time in as long as I can remember, my life is simply amazing. Every day I wake up and cant help but think about just how lucky I am to be where I now am. I have the most amazing boyfriend I could have ever dreamt of having. Not only does he make me feel special and loved every single day, but he is also helping me to respect and appreciate myself, for who I truly am.

I know that if I had not recovered from my eating disorder, I never would have found Nathan and been able to make our relationship work. Although Nathan would be the most wonderful thing that has come out of my recovery, there are many other things that are great about being recovered too.

This year was the best christmas I have had for a very long time and I know that this was only the case because I have recovered. I didnt spend the day worrying about what I could or couldnt eat. I just enjoyed myself and made the most of spending time with my boyfriend and with my family. And I enjoyed eating yummy christmas foods too. For the first time in years I ate as much chocolate, ham, pavlova and sweets as I wanted and my anxiety was basically non existent.

Dont get me wrong. Occasionally I still get an old anorexic like thought or concern about my weight or something I have eaten. However I suppose the difference now is that I am strong enough and healthy enough to ignore these thoughts and to continie to truly love my life. I know I now have way too much to lose by moving back to where I used to be. Simply nothing good can come out of me listening to anorexic thoughts  however I know that  so much good can come out of me ignoring them.

I am sorry it has been so long since I last posted. I have been meaning to post for a while now, to let you all know that I am happy and healthy but life has just been so busy and it really has been hard to find the time. I hope that you too are continuing to gight on your recovery journeys and i promise you all that no matter how hard it may seem at times, it really is worth it!

My boyfriend and I at the Christmas parade

Amys primary school graduation dinner

Still love walking with Tess

I like this photo as I just look so happy 

I finally feel comfortable with my body

My cruise was a blast

Goodbye to Blogging

This is an extremely hard post for me to write, but I knew that oneday the time would come for me to say this. I just didn't think it would come just so soon. For the last 8 months my blog has helped me more then anything else ever has. I have grown so much stronger both physically and mentally since starting to blog and 99% of the time, I forget that I ever even had anorexia. Now, I just feel like a normal girl who is now starting to live the life she truly deserves, completely free of her eating disorder.

I love helping people who are suffering from eating disorders and always want to be here to help anyone I can however I no longer feel as though regular blogging has a place in my life anymore. In a way, I feel as though it is dragging me down and stopping me from making a full recovery as it is just a constant reminder of where I have been. At the moment, my future is looking incredibely exciting and bright. I have met an amazing boy who I think the world of and I have my wonderful family close by too.

Not only do I simply feel too busy to blog anymore, I also don't want to do it if it is going to prevent me from making a full recovery. The friendships I have made through my blog are so valuable to me and I hope to keep talking to these wonderful people into the future, even if I don't blog anymore. Also, I plan to leave my blog active on-line so that people who are battling with anorexia can still use it as a recovery tool and even contact me, if they want to ask any particular questions or even if they just want to chat.

I know that some of my readers are going to be dissappointed in my decision to stop blogging, but I really hope that you understand this decision and I promise I will still update you all occassionaly on whats going on in my life and how I am doing. I am so thankful for all of your support over the last year and I can honestly say that without you all, I would not be where I am today. Please, never forget that just like me, you are also capable of doing anything you set your mind to. No matter how hard it may seem, you can beat your eating disorder and go on to live a truly wonderful and happy life.

  

Another amazing weekend

The past weekend has been another amazing weekend spent with Nathan. I drove to Launceston on Friday night after work and met Nathan just out of the city before I followed him into where his parents house in Launceston is. Over the weekend I met his parents, 2 of his sisters and one of his brothers and they were all lovely. I think nathans mum was a little concerned when she first saw me that I wasnt old enough to be with Nathan as he is almost 23 but she was ok once she realised that although I look younger, I am actually 21.

Over the weekend, we didn't really do anything overly exciting, but it was just nice to spend time together. We watched some prison break which is the series we are watching together and went out for 3 meals all up. We went for a drive to a place called greens beach on saturday morning and stopped at the tamar valley resort for lunch on the way home. I had a huge chicken caesar salad which was delicious but I made muself terribly sick eating it as I ate too much. By the time I finished I could barely walk my stomach was so full. After that we headed to nathans sisters house where I got to meet nathans baby neice and nephew who were adorable.

We then went out for tea at the casino with nathans parents and some of their friends. Neither of us were still very hungry so we kust got chicken nuggets and chips for tea which was nice and simple. Then nathans parents went home and nathan and I stayed at the casino a little later. We went to a bar where we had some drinks and chatted for a few hours before heading back home. By the time we got up and showered the next morning it was 11 o'clock so we pretty much headed straight out to get some lunch. We went to Levi which is a really nice restaurant at the seaport where we both had steak and chips.with a side of vegetables. It Was seriously the best steak I have ever eaten and I really enjoyed it.

Even though I barely did any exercise and ate out a lot, I felt really good all weekend as I was with someone who makes me incredibely happy. Even though I have felt my life getting more and more normal over the last 7 or 8 months, I believe that seeing this boy really is helping me to keep moving forward and is allowing me to completely move on from my eating disorder. This past weekend I just felt like a completely normal girl all weekend and I didnt let my anorexia control me once, even for a moment. I think it has been really food for my self confidence too as the boy is always complimenting me on how I look and my figure. Whixh really  does help me to accept myself.

I havent mentioned to the boy about my anorexia yet as it just hasnt come up and although I am sure i will tell him one day, I dont have any intentions of telling him anytime soon. I like the fact that he doesnt know about my past and that he doesnt know me as the anirexic girl, which is what so many others know me as. I know he would be understanding but I dont want him to feel as though he cant keep treating me exactly the same way as he currently does. Occasionally he jokes about what I eat or something like that and I just laugh as I honestly do find it funny. I wouldnt want him to feelas though he couldnt do that anymore and he probably would as he is a very thoughtful and considerate guy.

Best weekend Ever

After being a little nervous late last week about meeting up with guy I had been chatting too via social media and also by texting, any nerves and anxiousness was overcome in the first 5 minutes or so and I ended up having one of the best weekends of my life. I honestly didn't know that boys like this even existed. He was honestly one of the most thoughtful, considerate and kind guys I have ever met and I feel so lucky to have ended up with him in my life.

I was so dissappoinnted when the weekend came to an end but am so excited as we are going to do it all over again next weeekend, but at his place this time. I am honestly just so thankful that we started talking and that I was brave enough to invite him down to my house. Its crazy to think that we had only been talking for about a week when he arrived at my place to spend the weekend with me, but it really did feel as though we had known each other really well for years.

I was so nervous when he arrived on Friday night as I didn't know if it was going to be awkward at all, but it wasn't awkward in the slightest. He didn't arrive until about 9:15 pm but we spent hours and hours chatting into the early hours of the morning and we never ran out of things to talk about. We both commented on the fact that everything moved so fast with us, one minute we were meeting online and the next he was at my place for the weekend and we were getting along as if we had known one another for years.

Even though I barely even knew him, I felt as though I had known him for years and I felt as though I could trust him completely. I felt completely comfortable around him and I also felt as though I could just be myself. He didn't expect me to act a particular way and I did not feel as though I was being judged by him for even a single moment. I honestly felt as though he acceppts me 100% and that is exactly the type of guy I feel as though I need in my life. Anyway, I could honestly go on for paragraphs talking about how wonderful this guy is so I will stop now,  but I think you get the picture anyway, he is a pretty amazing guy.

This past weekend has made me realise a few very important things that I thought I could share with you all. For starters, lifes way to short not to just go for an amazing thing when it comes along. Yes it all happened extremely fast with this boy, but looking back I wouldn't do anything differently. Through being brave and a little spontaneous, I ended up having one of the most amazing weekeds of my life with one of the most incredible guys I have ever me.

Amazing guys do exist; I had basically just accepted the fact that guys like Nathan didn't exist. But this past weekend has proven to me that their are incredible guys out there and that you just have to be patient and wait for them to come along.  Afterall, an amazing guy is what you DESERVE. I have never met anyone so kind, funny, charming and considerate in all my life and I honestly wouldn't change a single thing about him, even if I could. I really do feel the hppiest I have felt in years and it is all because of this amazing person and I hope that he is a part of my life for a really long time.

Also, I feel as though my anorexia didn't interfere with my weekend at all, even for a moment. I drank lots, ate out, missed breakfast, stayed up late and slept in until 10am, but in despite of all these things, I smiled more. Not once did I have an anorexic voice in my head making me feel anxious or uncomfortable. I felt so happy around this guy that nothing could ruin it, not even the monster that has caused me so many issues over the last few years.

Not even eating pizza or sharing an icecream after a huge meal from the bakery could get my anorexic thoughts going, I was simply just enjoying myself to much for anything to get in the way. I have a feeling that this is going to be a eally long week at work, waiting for next weekend to come along but I just neeed to keep telling myself that eventually it will be here and when the weekend does finally arrive, I know it is going to be fantastic!

So... theres this boy

I feel strange writing about this on here but since I share everything else with you all anyway, I may as well share this too. And I feel as tgough I need to explain why once again my blogging might not be the best this weekend.

For the past few weeks, I have been talking to a particular guy who I have never met, but who is a friend of a friend. He is incredibely nice and easy to talk to and we seem to have a lot in common. The only bad thing is, he lives over three hours away which means that it is a very long way to travel, in order for us to meet up.

Despite this we have organised for him to come up to Swansea this weekend sonwe can meet and hopefully spend some more time together. I felt terrible asking him to drive all the way down here but he doesn't seem to mind at all which i think is so sweet. 

Something else I think is sweet is that he has agreed to come and watch my little sisters dance concert on Saturday night. I am pretty sure that going to something like that would be incredibely unappealing to most 22 year old guys, but he has said he will go anyway, as I guess he can tell its important to me.

So even though i havent actually met this guy in person yet, I can already tell that he is a great guy and I hope that things arent awkward at all when he arrives. We talk basically every day already so I dont think it will be hard for us to make conversation. But I suppose only time will tell. 

For so long whilst I was sick, I had no interest in guys what so ever. But now I feel as though I want a relationship, more then anything else. I feel as though a relationship would help me in my final stages of recovery as it would help to normalize my life and make me start acting more like a typical 21 year old girl.

Even if things dont get as far as a realtionship with this boy, I know that I have found a new friend who is an amazing person. So I feel as though it is impossible to lose in this particular situation. I am a bit nervous about meeting this guy for the first time but I am sure it will be fine. Wish me luck (although I really hope I don't need it!).

I just found this on line, hopefully it helps haha.

How to Make Things Less Awkward When First Meeting a Guy

by Beth Burgess, Demand Media 

Laughing and smiling can help you feel less awkward.

It is normal to feel a bit awkward when first meeting someone new, and this can feel especially difficult if it's a guy you might be interested in romantically. Girls may feel self-conscious and worry about how they come across to a guy, which can produce feelings of anxiety and stress. He may be feeling just as nervous as you, but luckily there are ways to put you both at ease and make the encounter less awkward.

Smile at Him

Take the pressure out of the situation simply by smiling. Not only does a smile look warm and welcoming to a guy, but it could actually relieve you both of stress. According to a study published in "Psychological Science" in 2012, smiling during a stressful event can reduce your heart rate, making you feel less anxious. The University of Kansas research showed that a genuine smile, which engages the muscles surrounding both the mouth and eyes, is even more effective for reducing stress than a smile using only the lips. Think briefly of a happy memory to bring about a genuine grin.

Make Him Laugh

When people feel socially awkward, humor can often help to break the ice. A study by John Jay College, which was published in "Group Processes and Intergroup Relations," showed that making a joke diffused tension when people were in awkward social encounters. A good introductory joke that doesn't sound too corny is: “When I told my best friend I was meeting you tonight, she advised me: ‘Don’t try to be too charming, witty or intellectual. Just be yourself.’”

Talking Topics

Other things that made people feel less awkward when getting to know each other included emphasizing common interests and receiving compliments, the University of Kansas research revealed. A good way of doing both things together is to pick up on an item of clothing he is wearing and tell him what you like about it. Perhaps you could compliment his shoes and tell him you have a pair that are the same brand. Or you could mention that his shirt is your favorite color.

Conversing Smoothly

People often find it difficult to have a flowing conversation with someone new, because they make short, closed statements, reports the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. For a conversation to flow, you must provide "hooks" that a guy can catch onto, so he can continue the conversation. A good way of doing this is by making a statement and then asking him a question about it. You could try: "I saw a great movie yesterday. Do you have a favorite film?" or “I'm going to a concert tomorrow. What music do you like?"

A very productive morning

This morning I have ad a very productive morning which is fantastic. After sleeping in until 6:45, I got up and made myself some breakfast before starting to clean my house.

My house was a huge mess as I really haven't had a chance to do any housework for over two weeks, but I feel so much better now that it is practically done. First I just tidied up and gathered aall of the clothes and other things that were aprawled across the floor over my whole house. I gathered up all of my washing, vacuumed the floor, washed and dried up, cleaned my kitchen, changed my bed linen and made up the beds. Now I just have to try my hardest to keep my house in the state that it currently is, as I realy hate mess.

It in't a very nice day outside so I decided to light my fire and haven't yet taken Tess for her morning walk. Mum is going to call in durin her lunch break which will be nice and am hoping to have a chat to her and get some advice on some of the drama going on at the moment in my life haha. Even though mum and I have certanly had some problems over the years, she has made it very clear to me over the last ew months that f I ever need to taalk to her about anything I can, which I reallly appreciate. She often talks about the fact that she never had anyon to talk to about boys or anything like that and that she doesn't want me to go through the same thing.

Sometimes I just wish that life didn't have to bbe so complicated. Its so unfair that some people seem to have no trouble at all finding a boyfriend but I obviously just have a real talent for falling for the wrong guys. Even though we we both always seem to like one another a lot, there always seems to be something standing in the way of us being togther. Buut I am not going to let this get me down I am so happy and enjoying life so much right now that I am ot going to let anything, especially boys get in the way. I know that eventally things will work out ok if I am patient.

 Sorry, I didn't mean for this post about my day to turn into a post about my love life haha... Now back to my day. I just had a delicious morning tea of a banana and a chocolate pop tart. I have also been snacking on black jelly beans throughout the morning too, which I am slightly addicted to at the moment haha.

morning tea: banana and choxolate pop  tart

I am going to take my sister Amy to Swimming training after school which I am really looking forward to watchinng. I loved swimming so much when I was younger and according to mum, Amy sims just like I used to. I just hope that Amy's Collar bones don't dislocate as mine eventually did and force her to stop swimming, like mine forced me to. And after swiming I am going to bring Amy back to my place where she has to get read for netball. Then once she leaves Iwill proably just take Tess for her evening walk and cook myself something nice for tea. Since I hve beenso late getting home each night I haven't had the chance to reallly cook much ove the last few weeks. Everynight I ust seem to have microwave rice or patsa meals with vegetables or salad.

I hope that everyone has a great day. Remember that in order to make your dreams come true, you need to work hard and fight for them. And that every day that you dont fight, you are onnly stopping yourself getting closer from recovery and from being truly happy :)