Sometimes I find myself thinking about what my life would have been like if I had never developed my eating disorder or if I was never sick. To say my eating disorder has taken a lot away from me would be an understatement. Not only did it steal so much away from me as soon as I got sick, it literally took years away from my life.
Even though I often think of all the things I missed out on because of my illness, I know that I wouldn't change a single part of my journey so far, even if I could. Because if everything that has happened in my life so far hadn't happened, then I know I would not be where I am today.
Of course it would have been great to never have gone through the torture and pain of having an eating dosorder and also recovery. But then I know I wouldn't be as brave and strong as I am today and I would never have learnt to believe in myself and accept myself as I now do. I also wouldn't be able to use my own experiences to help others who are going through similar things to what I have been through.
The main reason I wouldn't change a single thing from my past is because I know I probably would never have met my boyfriend. Nathan is, without a doubt, the love of my life and I know that if anything in my past had been different, then chances are we would never have met and ended up together. So although my journey has been painful, lonely and plain terrible at times, for me being with Nathan now is worth every bit of that.
I completely agree with you. Our EDs make us who we are today, and we develop some good qualities through recovery. Someone told me once that we should never have regrets, just learn a lesson from things. Regrets just eat you up, when in fact you can use them to bounce forwards, onwards and upwards, exactly like you have done. You're amazing xoxo
ReplyDeleteYour so right Annie, we can always learn from things and what we learn can help us in the future! Thanks for being there gorgeous <3 xx
DeleteJust found your blog. It is helping me understand my daughter who is struggling with this. Thank you and well done x
ReplyDeleteIm so glad that is has been of some help Daisy and well done for making such an effort to understand what your daughter is going through. Please, if ever you want to ask me something in particular or if your daughter would like someone to talk to, both of you feel free to email me at: karlygraham94@gmail.com
DeleteGoodluck with everything! Xx
Hi - I`m "new" too, I`ve just found your blog and can I say that I have found the reading I have done to be very interesting and informative. I am in the early stages of go-it-alone recovery and appreciate any help and advice. I am sure your blog will help me greatly, thankyou for sharing your journey and helping others :)
ReplyDeleteHi Carol, im so glad you find my blog helpful. Please if ever you want someone to talk to, feel free to email me at karlygraham94@gmail.com
DeleteTalking to someone who understands is incredibely helpful and I would love to help you in anyway I can. Keep Fighting and goodluck :) xx