A busy couple of days + food diary

The last two days I have been very busy, trying to juggle uni, work and also looking after myself. Something I have learnt is that my health is ALWAYS what I need to put first. Afterall, if I dont do this then I am not able to do well in any other aspects of my life anyway. I have had quite a bad cold the last few days too so tgis has made looking after nyself even more important. As I know that I dont only have to provide myself with enough energy so that I can get through each day as well as allow my body to fight my cold.

I had to work for 4.5 hours yesterday and 5 hours today at mcdonalds  so that has made it hard for me to get any studying done but luckily I had a really productive day at uni on Tuesday so I got heaps done then! I also have a full day to spend at uni too so that I can get through this weeks lecture and tutorial recordings. If need be I can also spend some time this weekend getting on top of everything before the new week begins. I cant believe we are almost in week 5! I am still really enjoying uni though and love the sunjects I am doing too.

Due to being unwell, I have not been working out at the gym as I usually do. I just dont have that type of energy and dont want to push my body to hard, when it is already fighting to make me well again. Also, because my chest is very congested, breathing is not the easiest and I have also been coughing a lot too. Yesterday I did get up early to go to a yoga class at the gym though which I really enjoyed. Today, I also missed the gym and just went for a nice walk instead. It did me so much much good to get out in the fresh air and I found that it was just what I needed.

Despite having a cold, I am still feeling so good using my herbalife products and eating more nutritiously. I feel as though they are really helping me to fight my cold too. I have been drinking my herbalife original lemon tea which has been soothing my throat and making my head feel clearer. I have also tried two new flavours of nutritional shake too, Berry and Cookies and Cream. And they are all just as delicious as the french vanilla flavour! I have also started drinking mango flavoured 'Aloe' which I am enjoying too. It is supposed to support digestion and I find it really helps with my energy levels too.

Finally, I thought I would share with you all what I ate today. I planned to do a photo food diary however I only managed to take a photo of my morning shake and then forgot to do any others. So I will just write it out for you all.

Breakfast: 1 Banana Berry Herbalife shake made with 2 scoops of Berry nutritional powder, 1 banana, 4 strawberries and 1 cup of light soy milk

Morning tea: 2 portions of honey Oats prepared with half soy milk and half water, 1 scoop of protein powder and a dash of cinnamon

Lunch: A grilled chicken salad made with chicken , cherry tomatoes, lettuce, cucumber, boiled egg and 4 crispbread biscuits topped with 2 slices of cheese

Afternoon tea: 1 nice and natural nut trail bar and 1 apple

Tea: Beef ragu pappardelle with vegetables (sweet potato, carrot, peas and broccoli)

Dessert: 1 small almond and chocolate protein bar and 1 pot of blueberry yoghurt

An incredible weekend

It's currently Monday morning and my gorgeous boyfriend has just headed of to work after us having a wonderful weekend away together. We drove down to Swansea late Friday after Nathan finished work and I finished university. We stopped on the way to get some Subway for tea which was yummy as always. Nathan wasn't feeling so hungry so only got a small 6 inch sub however I couldn't resist indulging in a large footlong sub.

We arrived at my parents place at about 8 pm and it was really nice to catch up with everyone. Both of my brothers and my sister were home as well as my parents which was nice. We were planning on having a sleep in on Saturday morning however we both woke up early so just got up and started our day. We just hung out with family until lunch time and then we headed into Swansea to watch the football. Both of my brothers play for our local football club as well as many of my cousins and friends so Nathan and I always enjoy watching it together.

After the football we headed into the club rooms to have a few drinks with everyone before we went to the pub for some tea. I had a delicious lasagna with salad and I ate it all and enjoyed every bite! We could only stay for a short while at the pub as we were heading to the annual football club ball. We walked to my nans house to get changed into our good clothes and get ready. It only took me about 15 minutes to get ready as I really am not the sort of person who spends hours and hours getting ready to go out but I was still happy with how I looked and was looking forward to the night.

We had a truly amazing time at the ball with some incredible people and it was definetely a night to remember. Admittedly I probably drank too much but I really enjoyed myself which is the most important thing. My favourite part of the night was definetely dancing with Nathan as well as my brothers and friends. I have always been the type of person who was far too self conscious to dance however I have no trouble getting up on the dance floor after a couple of drinks and really enjoy it! We went home at about 12:30 when the ball ended and just went to bed.

The next day I was feeling fine as fortunately I dont really get hangovers however poor Nathan wasn't so lucky. Unfortunately Nathan gets very sick after drinking alcohol so we just had a very quiet morning. It was my mums birthday so it was lovely to be there too see her in person and give her a present which she loved. We all went out for lunch to celebrate mums birthday before Nathan and I headed home. Luckily Nathan felt well enough to eat a little lunch and he continued to feel better through out the afternoon which I was glad about as I hate seeing him feeling so unwell.

Surprisingly, I wasnt sad at all about leaving my family in Swansea again, even though I dont know when I will see them again. I am so happy living in Launceston with Nathan and wouldn't change anything about my life. No one has ever made me as happy as Nathan does and the love I feel towards him is something I have never experienced before, even with family. I am loving my university units so far and am enjoying studing again and having more routine in my day.

I love feeling so full of energy and well now that I am doing Herbalife and eating more nutritious foods (although admittedly I did neglect this over the weekend). I have full intentions of resuming my new eating this week though as well as going to the gym when I can. ( I might evenpost a food diary atthe end oftheday today so you get an idea of what types of foods I am fuelling my body with.

I hope everyone else had a great weekend and you are all pumped and ready for the week ahead! :) x

Less structured eating routine

Since starting a new job at mcdonalds, I have found it quite difficult to continue eating 6 meals everyday. Especially since I am usually gone from home for 6 hours or so, without a chance to eat.

To ensure I keep up my calorie intake, I am increasing the size of my meals as I decrease the number of meals I have. For instance today I only had time for 5 meals, but I increased the size of my first two meals and dessert to make up for it.

Although it seems as though I am forcing in much more food then I actually need at each meal, I know that this is what I need to do to make sure I get enough energy and dont lose weight. I know it is important for me to take this precaution as I still manage to lose weight much easier then other people, even when I dont want to.

What is your experience of this? Do you find that losing weight happens particularly easily after weight restoration happens? Do you have a possible explanation for this?

Finally, I will share with you my food diary for the day, as I know many of my readers enjoy them :)

Todays food diary

Pre breakfast snack (6:00am):
1 twist bar and 1 vanilla up and go supplement drink

Breakfast (9:00am)
2 portions of strawberry flavoured oats prepared with 50% water, 50% milk and topped with 1 large sliced banana

Late lunch (3:00pm)
1 packet of two minute noodles, 1 apple and 1 small kinder chocolate bar

Tea (6:00pm)
1 large serve of tomato pasta served on a bed of baby spinach with cherry tomatoes

Dessert (8:00pm)
1 tub of two fruits, 1 hot chocolate and 1 small packet of choc chip cookies (25g)

Me with my boyfriends cat Bella

Me with curly hair (since getting healthier, my curly hair has come back)

A typical week

Good Morning everyone!

I just realised I havent done a update for a couple of days about what I have actually been up to so I apologize for that. The truth is I havent really been going anything interesting or out of the ordinary, but I have still been really busy. For the last two days I have been working at the bank which is actually in another small seaside town, a 35 minute drive from where I live. I seem to follow the same routines each day I work, as this is the best way to ensure I get everything done I need or want to do.

5:30- have breakfast while watchig an episode of greys anatomy
6:15- spend an hour or so reading blogs or writing Posts for my blog
7:15- get dressed, brush my teeth, do my hair
7:30- take Tess for a walk
7:45- get back home, make my lunch and pack my lunch box
8:00- put on my make up (only tinted moisturizer and mascara )
8:15- do any jobs around the house that need doing (wash up or dry up, hang washing out on line, tidy up, feed Tess)
8:40- eat my morning tea
8:50- leave home and head to work
12:00- stop working for a 30 minute lunch break (if its nice I walk to the park and sit in the sun to eat my lunch)
3:00- stop working and have my afternnon tea
4:45- leave work and start driving home
5:20- take Tess for a quick walk before tea and get anything from the shop I need
5:45- cook tea
6:15- Eat my tea while watching telly (I like watching family feud)
6:45- go for a shower
7:00- wash up and bring Tess inside
7:30- get myself dessert and sit down in front on the telly to relax/blog
8:30- make myself a hot chocolate and do some more blogging if im not too tired
10:00- go to sleep

Today I am working at the IGA in my home town so even though the day is a bit longer, atleast I dont have to travel. Today I start work at 8:30 and work until 5:45 tonight With a 45 minute lunch break at 12:00. Tomorrow I have the day off so it will be really nice to relax for the day.

Fortunately I am still feeling positive and motivated about my recovery and am happy that I am still gaining weight. This morning I weighed myself (Wednesday and Sunday are my weigh days) and I have gained another 300 grams in the last 3 days Which is really good. I would love to be able to continue gaining on what I am currently eating but I realise that I will need to increase my intake again if I stop gaining weight.

I hope that everyone is having a fantastic week. :)

When I was an inpatient.......

I wanted to share my inpatient experience with everyone as I thought it may give others who may be going into hospital or a clinic an idea of what to expect. Firstly I want to say that the treatment I received at the hospital I went to was not helpful FOR ME. I am not saying that It wouldn't be helpful to everyone as different hospitals and clinics are run very differently and some individual sufferers are better suited as inpatients then others.

As there are no eating disorder clinics in the state I live in, going into a hospital was my only option. Luckily they let me go into the child's ward even though I had just turned 18. This meant that I didn't have to go into the psych ward which I'm sure would have been an even scarier experience. When I was first admitted to hospital I was actually only just underweight. I still saw myself as fat and would have liked to lose more weight. I felt like all of the doctors and nurses were judging me as I didn't actually look anorexic. I mean I was pale and sunken looking in the face but to look at no one would have guessed I had anorexia. The reason I was admitted was because I had lost the ability to eat anything at all, I had hypothermia and my heart was getting very weak. My doctor didn't see the point In letting my weight get critically low before she took action. I give my doctor a lot of credit for this as I know lots of doctors wait too long before taking anorexic patients seriously.

My dad drove me to the hospital and sat with me and a nurse while I battled through my first meal. My nurse explained that I had 30 minutes to complete the meal and If I was unable to do so I would have to drink a supplement drink. I sat and cried for the first 10 minutes but with the nurses help I was able to get through the yoghurt, juice and sandwich. I felt extremely sick after eating this initial meal for two reasons. Firstly my stomach was no longer use to food and secondly I was sick with guilt over what I had eaten. My dad had to leave after a while to get home so I was left alone, in the place that would be my home for the next 6 weeks.

For the first few days I wasn't allowed to get out of bed at all and I was even wheeled to the toilet in a wheelchair. I was only unable to eat one meal while I was in hospital which resulted in me having to drink a 400 calorie supplement drink. The worst thing was I had eaten 3/4 of the meal but still had to get through the entire drink which was truly disgusting. After that I always managed to finish each meal as I knew the calorie intake was inevitable. We were told that if we couldn't drink the ensure we would get tubed.

There were many other rules and routines we had to follow while in hospital;
1. we had 20 minutes to finish each snack and half an hour to finish each main meal
2. Eating was supervised closely by a nurse and the nurse had to stay for another 20 minutes after each snack and 30 minutes after each main meal for further supervision.
3. We were not allowed to go to the bathroom alone ever so a nurse had to stand and listen outside the door while you showered or went to the toilet.
4. We were weighed twice a week In a scale chair so we couldn't see our weight and had a weekly meeting with our doctor, dietician and parents where our progress and new care plans were discussed.
5. we were allowed different privileges depending on how compliant we were with our care plans and whether or not we were gaining enough weight.
6. Every time we were weighed we had to provide a urine sample so the doctors could check we weren't secretly water loading and we were not allowed to drink any water the whole time we were in hospital. We were only allowed to drink juice and milky drinks.


Daily routine In hospital (week 1)
6:30-7:00 wakeup and observations (heart rate, blood pressure and temperature etc),
8:30-9:00 eat breakfast
9:00-9:30 supervision, blood tests and more observations
10:00-10:15 shower
10:30-10:50 eat morning tea
10:50-11:10 supervision and observations
12:30-1:00 eat lunch
1:00-1:30 supervision
3:00-3:20 eat afternoon tea
3:20-3:40 supervision
5:30-6:00 tea
6:00-6:30 supervision and observations
8:00-8:20 eat supper
8:20-8:40 supervision
While in the first week our observations were done many times a day by the end of my hospital stay my observations were only done once a day. It was also not necessary to have a blood test every day as I became more and more medically stable so only one blood test a week was eventually necessary.

Most anorexic patients require their meal plans to increase every few weeks so they can gain the required amount of weight each week (0.5-1kg) but this was not the case with me. I continued to rapidly gain weight the whole time I was in hospita, even though I stayed on the minimal meal plan. Even once I was allowed to go for a 30 minute walk each day  (which I ensured was a very fast power walk) I still continued to gain weight. Obviously my metabolism was still very slow after starving myself but this just made me more frightened of food as I was consistently gaining weight while not eating very much.

My meal plan was;
Breakfast: 1 small bowl of cereal with milk or 2 slices of toast with butter and jam and 1 glass of juice
Morning tea: 1 milo and 1 piece of Fruit
Lunch: 1 bowl of salad with mayonnaise, 1 meat sandwich and a dairy dessert (yoghurt, custard, Ice cream etc) and a glass of juice
Afternoon tea: 1 milkshake made with ice cream, 1 piece of cake or 2 cookies and a platter of fruit salad
Tea: meat, gravy and vegetables or pasta and vegetable or fish and chips or fried rice or pizza and chips
Supper: 1 milo and 2 biscuits with cheese

Once I reached my goal weight I asked my dietician if I could reduce my meal plan so I could start maintaining my weight and she told me that I was already eating a 'normal diet'. This made me feel like a  failure. Like the only way I could stop gaining weight was by starving myself. The other anorexic girl I was in hospital with had to eat a lot more then me and still failed to gain the required amount of weigh most weeks. I think perhaps the fact that I had not spent very much time at a low weight effected the rate of weight gain I experienced. I suppose it makes sense that the longer someone stays underweight and how severely underweight a patient is, the longer it takes for their body to repair and the longer it takes for them to regain weight.

As I was in a hospital and not a clinic I didn't have anyone who could actually help me with my anorexia. While I was forced to gain weight in hospital, my thoughts were just as unhealthy the day I left the hospital as the day I was admitted. I finished each meal because I knew I had no choice but all I thought about for the 6 weeks I was In hospital was about how I was going to lose the weight again once I got out. I secretly exercised In my room and tried my hardest to cheat with my meal plan which was extremely difficult to do. While in hospital I experienced many extreme emotions. At times I felt the most angry, sad, helpless and unhappy I have ever felt in my life but that was to be expected. I was being forced to do all the things I had become most terrified of, like rest, eat and gain weight.

While going to hospital didn't fix my anorexia at all I know it was still necessary as without the hospital I probably would have died. It's just a shame that while in hospital I couldn't have received some help to recover mentally as well as physically. To anyone who may be going to hospital keep an open mind. Just because I didn't get any help for my mental health in hospital doesn't mean you won't either. I didn't write this post to scare you about what being an Inpatient is like, I just wanted you to gain an insight about what being an inpatient was like for me.

Please if anyone has any questions about my time in hospital, feel free to ask. I know how helpful it would have been for me to have someone to give me advice and help prepare me for what to expect before I went into hospital.