Study Stress

As I begin university next week, I am starting to think about how I am going to cope with the stress of studying. Throughout high school and college I put enormous amounts of pressure on myself to do well and got very stressed and anxious, especially around exam time. 

Last time I went to uni, I did well however I was not happy as I simply had no life outside of studying and put far too much pressure on myself. My dream is to be a nurse however and I know that in order to become a nurse, I have no choice but to go to university. 

I think that I am in a much better head space this time to be attending university and as long as I keep believing I can do it, I will be ok. Afterall, studying is something I am very good at and as long as I keep a healthy balance in my life, I think I will actually really enjoy it!

I have started to take my anti-anxiety medication again as I think they really do help me to keep calm and believe they have the potential to make my uni experience a little easier. I dont think anyone should ever feel any shame in taking these types of medication, in fact I highly reccommend it if you find they make things a little easier.

I also found this interesting article online and plan to use the various strategies mentioned, to keep me happy and healthy. Perhaps you could apply these same strategies to things in your life that make you anxious abd stressed.

Studying is stressful. Whether you’re attending a high-tension medical program or pursuing an online course, devoting your time and energy to learning is a complex process. What’s more, studying can compete with work, family, and other activities for your limited amount of energy. You will inevitably have times when you worry because something major comes up, such as a research paper or a final exam.

Stress is an entirely natural process. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t studying well or that you’re unable to process your course material. There is a positive kind of stress, “eustress,” which can actually serve as motivation to continue working, but that is not the sort of stress that is concerning. Distress, the negative kind of stress, is what causes problems and can affect your academic performance. Fortunately, distresscan be controlled. Although the following tips cannot solve every tense moment, they will help minimize distress throughout your education.

Know the symptoms of stress

• Know the difference between normal and harmful stress. Remember, stress is a normal response, particularly to unpleasant surprises, scary incidents, and similar moments. The problem arises when you experience very frequent acute episodes of stress, or when it becomes a chronic, ongoing thing.
• Learn the toll that stress takes on your body. Frequent acute stress often shows itself with symptoms like recurring headaches, fatigue, insomnia or difficulty resting, and indigestion. Chronic stress often shows itself with grinding teeth, forgetfulness, overeating or excessive drinking, confusion, and other symptoms that may come to seem like the natural state of things. Stress also weakens the immune system, leading to frequent colds and infections. It leads to muscular tension and aches, hyperventilation, and heart arrhythmia.

If these symptoms describe what you have been feeling, admit it to yourself. The first step to handling your stress is recognizing it and admitting you need to deal with it.

First aid: What to do in the moment

You can begin to notice the symptoms of stress at any time. Even if you can handle what is on your plate right now, one small additional trivial thing can send you over the edge. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, use this advice to get an immediate handle on your stress levels.

• Breathe deeply. This will reoxygenate your blood and help you take a few moments to step back from a stressful situation. Lie down or sit up straight and put a hand on your abdomen, just below the navel. Breathe in slowly through your nose until your lungs are full. Hold the breath for a moment before exhaling. Repeating this several times should get you calm enough to look at things more clearly.
• Do something comforting. Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you feel a headache coming on? Briefly changing scenery by walking to the water fountain or stepping out on the balcony will help you refocus. What’s more, by taking a clear step to make your situation better, however small it may be, you tell your body and brain that things are under control. Eat a healthy snack or drink water or tea rather than strong beverages or junk food.
• Use breaks to optimize productivity. If your specific task is something you can put down for a short while, do so. When you’re stressed out, you often aren’t doing your best work anyway. Even with time-critical tasks such as exams, you will be better served by taking a minute to ease yourself than by working yourself to a grinding halt by trying to push through to the end.

The long term: Understand yourself and take control

Stress usually follows patterns and cycles. By observing yourself and learning those cycles, you gain valuable information you need to train yourself to handle stress better. After you’ve dealt with your immediate situation, use these tips to build your own stress management plan.

• Look for your stress signs and stressors. You will find you have certain physical cues that tell you when you’re getting stressed, even if you don’t feel like you’re stressed. If a tense headache or a tightness in your shoulders are your cues, take those signs as a warning. Whatever you’re doing is stressing you, and you should calm yourself however you can. Watch for patterns to determine what academic subjects or tasks tend to bring on these symptoms.
• Chunk tasks. Huge tasks can be broken down into many smaller parts, which are much easier to tackle individually. A 15-page paper becomes less terrifying when you see it as three pages per day, then five pages of editing per day. You will also feel more accomplished when you complete numerous small tasks, rather than making a tiny bit of progress on a large one.
• Avoid procrastinating. Breaking up tasks won’t do you much good if you keep everything for the last minute. Resolve to spend a certain amount of time on your studies, and stick to that time. During that period, study and work on your class projects, and don’t be afraid to put them down afterwards. Studies show that regular, relaxed study helps you learn and recall more than last-minute cramming.
• Don’t be afraid to say no. You can and should keep up with your nonacademic responsibilities, but you aren’t under an obligation to help everyone who asks. You need time and mental space to study successfully; if this means skipping an event or turning down a request to work extra, you should feel free to do so.
• Take care of your health. Stress is a physical reaction, and by building up your health, you’ll be able to handle it better. Be sure to eat regular nutritious meals with a minimum of junk food, especially when studying. If you don’t get regular exercise, start now. Although it seems counterintuitive, exercise will actually give you more energy. Also, reduce or quit your bad habits, such as smoking or staying up late, as these habits drain your energy and make studying an uphill battle.

http://www.howtostudy.com/manage-your-stress/

Day 23: If you won the lottery....

if I won the lottery, I would try and open up an eating disorder clinic in Tasmania (The state of Australia that I live in), or atleast contribute to the opening of one. I know that there would be a lot involved in this and it may not be possible no matter how much money I had however that would still be my first dream, If I was to win the lottery.

I hate the fact that there is such little help for people who suffer from eatng disorders in Tasmania and think that it is wrong that people who are not in private health coverage may not have the same opportuunities to recover as those that aren't. Everyone deserves to live a life free of an eating disorder and It would be wonderful to set up a clinic so that I could help to make this happen.

If I couldn't set up a clinic, I would atleast like to form some kind of support organisation so that people suffering from eaating disorders would no longer feel alone, as I did when I was at my sickest. I know how awful living with an eating disorder can be and all I will say is that it is no wonder that so many people living with eating disorders dont survive. It is also no wonder that many people take there own lives, as one of my cousins who was suffering fom Anorexia did.

While I never seriously considered taking my own life, I could see exactly why so many people suffering from anorexia do. When you feel so miserable living the way you are but it also feels truly impossible to change, it can leave you feeling extremely depressed and helpless. You start to think that you would rather just not be around anymore, as it feels as though dying is the only thing that will ever take the pain away.

But you can fight! No matter how impossible getting better may seem it is always possible, for everyone. My dream is to show people that they can get better as well as actually helping them to do it. So this is what I would do if I won the lotttery, put it back into helping others recover. What would you do if you won the lottery?

Different types of eating disorders

Whilst my eating disorder was developing, I was mainly in denial about what was happening to me however after a few months of making myself purge after eating particular foods I knew that my behaviours were not healthy or normal. I had cut all unhealthy foods out of my diet however I did not lose very much weight at first, which I think was due to the fact that my body tried to stay at the weight I was at so my metabolism just got slower and slower the less I ate. 

At the time I didn't know much about eating disorders so as soon as I started to think I was suffering from one, I instantly thought it was bulimia as I was making myself sick. Now I can see that it was actually more likely purge type anorexia that I was suffering from, which then changed to restrictive type anorexia when I got fed up with going through the pain associated with making myself sick and not losing very much weight at all. 

It really is surprising just how little weight I lost at first even though I practically halved my calorie intake and started exerising more as well. I would not say that I had food binges in this time, instead I just made mysef sick after eating any foods that I had previously decided I was no longer allowed to eat or if I ate a particularly unhealthy meal. 

When I went to hospital, one psychologist even said that I had EDNOS as I was restricting my intake so severely but was not classified as severely underweight. I do not think that I ever did have EDNOS, I just think that my weight had not yet dropped significantly low because I had not been severely restricting my intake for a long time before my doctor took action and had me admitted.

I know that it really does not matter what type of eating disorder I had at first. Perahaps it was bulimia, or purge type anorexia, heck maybe it was EDNOS? All eating disorders are terrible for the sufferer and life threatening, no matter what they may be called. At the time, I honestly hated making myelf purge more than I hated restricting once my restictive type anorexia developed. 

Making myself vomit is the most awful and painful thing I have ever done. I remember that I just used to cry and cry whilst I was making myself sick because it hurt so much, both mentally and physically. I would not let myself stop until I was convinvced that I no longer had anything left in my stomach. Never think that your eating disorder is not serious because IT IS, no matter what type of eating disorder you have.

No mattter what type of eating disorder you are suffering from, it is important that you try and get better.  No one deserves to live a life with an eating disorder. You desere to live a healthy and happy life that is not regimented or controlled by your weight and food. If you cant get better yourself, please try and get some help from a professional or someone you trust. The following descriptions from this website describe the key differences between different eating disorders.   

Anorexia Nervosa

'Anorexia nervosa' literally means 'loss of appetite for nervous reasons' but this is misleading, as in most cases the appetite of the sufferer is undiminished but is systematically unsatisfied. Individuals with anorexia nervosa are unwilling or unable to maintain a body weight that is normal or expected for their age and height (most clinicians' use 85% of normal weight as a guide). The disorder is characterised by a fear of gaining weight, self-starvation, and a distorted view of body image. Concerns and perceptions about their weight have an extremely powerful influence and impact on their self-evaluation and anorectics typically restrict the amount eaten and drunk, often to a dangerous level. Exercise may be used to burn off what are perceived to be excess calories. The seriousness of the weight loss and its physical effects are minimised or denied

Diagnostic criteria of anorexia nervosa include two subtypes of the disorder that describe two distinct behavioural patterns. Individuals with the Restricting Type maintain their low body weight purely by restricting food intake and increased activity. Those with the Binge-Eating/Purging Type usually restrict their food intake but also regularly engage in binge eating and/or purging behaviours.

Initially the sufferer focuses on food in an attempt to cope with life; it becomes a way of demonstrating control over body weight and shape. Ultimately, however, the disorder itself takes control and the chemical changes in the body affect the brain and distort thinking, making it almost impossible to make rational decisions about food. People who suffer from anorexia often have low self-esteem and a tremendous need to control their surroundings and emotions. As the illness progresses, the sufferer will experience the exhaustion of starvation. Occasionally people die from the effects of anorexia, especially if it is untreated.

Bulimia Nervosa
It was only in 1979 that bulimia nervosa was recognised by doctors as an eating disorder in its own right. The term bulimia nervosa means literally 'the nervous hunger of an ox'. The hunger, however, is really an emotional need that cannot be satisfied by food alone. After binge-eating a large quantity of food to fill the emotional or hunger gap, there is an urge to immediately get rid of the food. Bulimia Nervosa is characterised by these episodes of binge eating (uncontrolled consumption of a large amount of food in a relatively short period of time) followed by an inappropriate "compensation" behaviour such as forced vomiting, laxative or diuretic abuse, a subsequent fast or period of food restriction, or excessive exercising.

Diagnostic criteria for Bulimia Nervosa also identify two sub-types of the disorder: purging and non-purging. Forced vomiting, or abuse of laxatives or diuretics, is considered "purging" whereas fasting or engaging in excessive exercise after a binge to compensate for the calories consumed is considered "non-purging". Sometimes the distinction between bulimia and the binge/purge type of anorexia is difficult to draw. However, if a patient meets all other criteria of anorexia nervosa, that is generally the diagnosis which is made.

Bulimia is more difficult for others to notice as the sufferer tends not to lose weight so dramatically, or their weight will fluctuate. People with bulimia may have demanding jobs that require them to be out-going and self-assured even when they feel inadequate inside. As with anorexia, people who develop bulimia become reliant on the control of food and eating as a way of coping with emotional difficulties in their life. During the binge episode, the individual experiences a loss of control. However, the sense of a loss of control is also followed by a short-lived calmness. The calmness is often followed by self-loathing. The cycle of overeating and purging usually becomes an obsession and is repeated often.

Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (EDNOS)

Eating disorder not otherwise specified (EDNOS) is a diagnostic category of mental disorders that involve disordered eating patterns. It is described in the diagnostic manuals as a "category [of] disorders of eating that do not meet the criteria for any specific Eating Disorder". A diagnosis of EDNOS is frequently used for people who meet some, but not all, of the diagnostic criteria for anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. For example, a person who shows almost all of the symptoms of anorexia nervosa, but who still has a normal menstrual cycle and/or body mass index, can be diagnosed with EDNOS. A sufferer may experience episodes of binging and purging, but may not do so frequently enough to warrant a diagnosis of bulimia nervosa. A person may also engage in binging episodes without the use of inappropriate compensatory behaviours; this is referred to as binge eating disorder. People diagnosed with EDNOS may frequently switch between different eating disorders, or may with time fit all diagnostic criteria for anorexia or bulimia.

EDNOS is a serious eating disorder, like anorexia and bulimia, with various subtypes (such as Binge Eating Disorder, Compulsive Overeating and Orthorexia Nervosa, as described below) and can have long-term consequences on the individual's physical health.

Binge Eating Disorder (BED)

Binge eating disorder is characterised by consuming large quantities of food in a very short period of time until the individual is uncomfortably full. It is similar to the eating disorder bulimia nervosa except the individuals do not use any form of purging following a binge. Additionally, people with bulimia are typically of normal weight or may be slightly overweight whereas people with binge eating disorder are typically overweight or obese. Individuals usually feel out of control during a binge episode, followed by feelings of guilt and shame. Many individuals who suffer with binge eating disorder use food as a way to cope with or block out feelings and emotions they do not want to feel. Individuals can also use food as a way to numb themselves, to cope with daily life stressors, to provide comfort or fill a void they feel within. Like all eating disorders, binge eating is a serious problem but can be overcome through proper treatment.

Binge eating disorder is similar to, but it is distinct from, compulsive eating. People with binge eating disorder do not have a compulsion to overeat and do not spend a great deal of time fantasising about food. On the contrary, some people with binge eating disorder have very negative feelings about food. As with other eating disorders, binge eating is an expressive disorder - that is, the disorder is an expression of a deeper, psychological problem.

Continual debate exists over whether binge eating disorder should have its own diagnosis. Some believe that it is a milder form, or subset of bulimia nervosa, but others argue that it is its own distinct disorder. Currently it is characterised under Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (EDNOS), and the diagnostic manual simply states that ‘more research is needed’.

Compulsive Overeating

Compulsive overeating is characterised by an addiction to food. An individual suffering from compulsive overeating disorder engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings and depression. Unlike individuals with bulimia, compulsive overeaters do not attempt to compensate for their binging with purging behaviours such as fasting, laxative use or vomiting. Compulsive overeaters will typically eat when they are not hungry, spend excessive amounts of time and thought devoted to food, and secretly plan or fantasize about eating alone.

In addition to binge eating, compulsive overeaters can also engage in grazing behaviour, during which they return to pick at food over and over throughout the day. This will result in a large overall number of calories consumed even if the quantities eaten at any one time may be small. When a compulsive eater overeats primarily through binging, he or she can be said to have binge eating disorder. Where there is continuous overeating but no binging, then the sufferer has compulsive overeating disorder. Compulsive overeating almost always leads to weight gain and obesity, but not everyone who is obese is also a compulsive overeater.

Compulsive overeating is a maladaptive behaviour that may be used as a way to cope with stress, emotional conflicts and daily problems. Food is used to block out feelings and emotions. Excessive weight may act as a shield they can hide behind to avoid social interaction. Sufferers usually feel out of control and are aware their eating patterns are abnormal. Like bulimics, compulsive overeaters do recognise they have a problem. Compulsive overeating is a serious condition and needs professional support to ensure long-term recovery.


Orthorexia Nervosa

People who eat a normal amount of food, but become exceedingly obsessed with healthy eating, or strictly categorize normal foods or entire food groups as "safe" and "off-limits", may be referred to as having orthorexia. Orthorexia Nervosa is an obsession with a "pure" diet, where it interferes with a person's life. It becomes a way of life filled with chronic concern for the quality of food being consumed. When the person suffering with Orthorexia Nervosa slips up from wavering from their "perfect" diet, they may resort to extreme acts of further self-discipline including even stricter regimens and fasting.

"This transference of all of life's values into the act of eating makes orthorexia a true disorder. In this essential characteristic, orthorexia bears many similarities to the two well-known eating disorders anorexia and bulimia. Where the bulimic and anorexic focus on the quantity of food, the orthorexic fixates on its quality. All three give food an excessive place in the scheme of life." (Steven Bratman, M.D., October 1997). Although the word is entering the English lexicon, the psychiatric community has not officially recognized the condition.

You can also read the symptoms of each eating disorder here

Helping others recover

Without a doubt, the thing I love most about having a blog is getting the chance to help others suffering from Anorexia. Ever since developing anorexia, I have been horrified by the lack of professional support there is out there for people suffering from anorexia. I think the main problem is that such little is known about anorexia and other eating disorders, that many doctors simply do not know how to help sufferers. 

When I went to hospital, the staff got me to gain weight but did not help me with my actual anorexia at all. The only reason I ate was because the staff basically threatened my anorexia with more calories if I refused. The 6 weeks I spent in hospital therefore served as my planning time for how I would lose the weight again, when I got out of hospital, which is exactly what I did. 

Ever since I have tried to get help from psychiatrists, psychologists and other 'specialists' but none of them have been able to help me at all. None if them could offer recovery advice or even give me any kind of hope that recovery was even possible. I honestly felt as though I was much more knowledgable about eating disorders then the people who I have been reffered to, so decided I was wasting my time by seeing them.

One psychiatrist even told me there was no point in going to see her, if I wasn't 'willing to try.' The problem was never that I was unwilling to try, but more that I had no idea how. People were telling me that I needed to get better, but they werent offering me any advice at all about how I actually could do that. 

So ever since getting sick, I have felt very unsupported and this has only made me want to help other sufferers who are going through what I have been through and who have felt the complete desperation I have felt. While I hoped I could help others through my blog, I had no idea just how much I would be able to help others. 

Since starting to blog, I have gotten comments like;

'Thank you, thank you! I wouldn't/couldn't be doing this without you!'

'Karly you have no idea how much easier recovery has been for me since I found your blog. Your posts and your emails have been a life saver, really.'

'This post has been so helpful, Thank you :)'

'You are such an inspiration for everyone recovering......If you can do it, I can do it.'

'Thankyou so much Karly'

'You continue to inspire and motivate me everyday'

You will never know just what these types of comments mean to me. I feel like crying everytime I read something like this as I feel ao overwhelmingly happy that I am making a positive difference to peoples lives. Comments like these have now become my main motivation for my own recovery, as I have realised that people are relying on the strength and determination I demonstrate in my own recovery, to help them in theirs.

Everytime I feel as though things are too hard, I think of these kinds of comments and remember that I cant give up. I need to keep recovering and fighting, not only for myself but also for all of the people out there who believe in me. I feel as though my blog has given my life more purpose and that is only thanks to all of the wonderful people who read it, so thank you. You all say that I help you in your recoveries but you help me too, more then you will ever know.

Recovering without professional help

I have tried to get help in the past for my anorexia but I never found any of it helpful at all. I honestly think that this is because there really is no one specialised in eating disorders in the state that I live in and no one really understood how they could help me. 

While the staff at the hospital I was an inpatient at forced me to eat and gain weight, no one actually tried to help me with what was going on inside my head. The whole time I was in hospital I was secretly exercising and planning how I could lose the weight again when I got out. I have spoken to psychologists but found that they were not able to offer any real advice either. While it was good to talk to someone and get everything off my chest, it wasn't really helping me in terms of recovey.     

One person I went to who claimed she had dealt with anorerxics before actually told me after a few sessions that there wasn't any point in going back if I wasn't willing to fight my anorexia. The thing was, It wasn't that I wasn't willing to fight my anorexia, it was that I didn't know how. No one had ever actually given me any advice about how to be stronger then my illness and I felt like I had no choice but to listen to my anorexia.

So for me, recovering without professional help has really been my only option but I wouldn't reccommend it. Perhaps recovering without professional help wouldn't be so bad if you had a really supportive family that were able to help you but unfortunately my family were not able to help me. I didn't even have close friends that I could rely on for support as I was so socially withdraw and the friends I did have didn't know anything about eating disorders and had trouble understanding.

The best thing that ever happened in terms of my recovery was that I started reading recovery blogs online. Seeing other peoples achievement and recovery journeys has shown me that recovery is possible. The advice and support that I have been offered through reading other peoples blogs has been so helpful for me and there is no way I could have made the progress I have without it. I also think that starting my own blog has been a wonderful motivation for me in my recovery.

There are a few things that I really don't like about recovering on my own. One of these is the fact that I still need to count calories. If I had a professional design my meal plan for me, I wouldn't even know how many calories I was eating and therefore essentially would not be calorie counting anymore. It was obviously necessary for me to design my meal plan around a specific number of calories so that I could be sure I was eating enough to gain weight. My first goal once I am weight restored is to stop counting calories all together and to learn to eat intuitively.

Something else I wish I didn't have to do while recovering on my own is weigh myself. While I am gaining weight, I honestly would rather not know how much I weigh as it makes me feel so anxious. All of this week I have been too scared to weigh myself as I am scared to see the weight I have gained. I know that I need to weigh myself this wednesday (in two days time) so that I make sure I have gained enough weight since last wednesday when I weighed myself. I know that this is essential as it is the only way I can tell wether I am eating enough to gain the weight I need to, but I would much rather to a blind weigh in with someone if I could. 

I know that different methods of recovery are better for different people but I would reccommend accepting good professional help if you can. Recovering on your own is really hard and will probably take longer than recovery with profession help. 

What does everyone else think? Have you found recovering on your own or with professional help easier for you?