Feeling unwell

Even though I woke up feeling fine this morning, throughout the day my energy levels are rapidly depleting and I just dont feel very well at all. I am feeling tired and drained, even though I havent been very busy and I feel nauseous too.

I have been getting hot and cold flushes also, which suggests I probably have a touch of a stomach bug or some other virus. Fingers crossed it will pass quickly and I will be back to my usual energetic and bubbly self before I know it.

I feel terrible as I know that I am not very good company for my poor boyfriend but for the the time being I just need to look after myself. Which means having a rest day and letting my body recover from whatever I have. 

Another awesome day

As I am writing this post, I am feeling guilty as I know that many of my readers may not have as many 'good days' as I have. It really is wonderful that I am feeling so happy and positive most of the time but I also can understand that by posting aout this, it may make some of you feel down. Afterall, I know that it can be hard to hear about how fantastic other peoples lives are when you are so unhappy in your own. So if I do make you feel bad sometimes when I talk about how great life now is I apologise. Instead of letting this get you down though, try to use it as extra motivation to recover and enjoy life as I am currently doing.

So, back to my day. I didnt do anything extremely exciting however it was just an overall nice and enjoyable day. I took Tess on two nice big walks. even though the weather wasnt very nice, it was still great to get out in the fresh air and get moving. Jemma, my cousin came around to my place in her lunch break and we had pizza toasties for lunch which were really nice. After I dropped Jemma back at work, I went straight up to my families place to visit my little sister who was home alone. It has been way to long since I last saw my sister so I really enjoyed the time we spent together.

After a lot of convincing, Amy finally agreed to watch the movie 'The longest ride' with me which i have been wanting to watch for ages. It was quite a good movie however it wasn't quite as good as I was hoping it would be. I suppose that is the only problem of wanting to see a particular movie for so long, you create such high expectations for it in your mind which can lead to dissappointmentt. I am still glad I watched it though and would definetely watch it again. 

I also spent some time chatting to my older brother Damian which was really nice as I haven't spoken to him properly since he moved home to swansea. It is a really exciting time for him as he has moved home to open up his own butcher shop. It is so nice having most of my family home in swansea. Wehave always been a close family and I love being around everyone. Now it is just my little brother who lives away from Swansea but I really hope he moves home sometime soon as well. We are all very similar  and love the country so I hope that we all end up back here together in the future.

I have also been reading qquite a bit today and also last night. After not having the attention span to read for years now, I am really enjoying being able to get into a good book and read once again. The only types of books I have been able to concentrrate on enough until now were stories about anorexics. Although I enjoyed reading those stories, it is really good to be able to read something completely different too. the book I am reading is a romance set in a country town. I love these types of books, but they also make me want to find myself a country boy of my own too. 

 

I have also managed to get done lots of washing and have also cleaned my house which is great as I am working the next 7 days straight and probably wont have a chance to do much housework in this time. I would be lying if I said that I was looking forward to going back to work tomorrow morning. I am not going to let the thought of going to ork ruin the rest of my night tonight though. Atleats my work over the next seven days is broken up between both the bank and the supermarket so I should't get bored. 

My Tea tonight 

Mindful Colouring

Although I haven't had enough time to do very much colouring, I have really enjoyed the bits I have been able to do so far. I can see how this can be helpful to help you to relax and plan to use it as a healthier coping mechanisms in the future for whenever I get anxious or stressed. :)

My first completed colouring in

Still working on this one!

An afternoon with Amy

I have had a really nice afternoon with my gorgeous sister. I walked to her school to pick her up at the end of the school day and then we walked to the shop to get icecream. I tried one of the Peanut butter magnum icecreams and Amy had a rainbow icecream in a cone. I had never tried peanut butter icecream before but I really loved it and will definetely have it again.

After our icecreams we headed back to my place where we are hanging out now, waiting before it is time to go to Amy's talent show. At first we listened to some new music that I downloaded this morning and now we are watching pretty little liars. 

I also just made myself some tea (pasta and vegetables) so all I have to do when I get home is reheat it and my tea will be ready. Preparing meals and planning meals ahead of time is something that I highly reccommend doing, especially if you are busy. I find this really helpful as it allows me to make sure that I always eat enough and to make sure that I never skip any meals. :) 

A lazy Thursday morning

It has been so nice just to laze around for the morning. I still woke up quite early and got mysef breakfast but then instead of having to take Tess for a walk and get ready for work, I just laid on the couch and watched some Pretty little liars. For morning tea I had an pple as well as a pop tart. I only tried pop tarts for the first time a couple of days ago and I have decided I am definetely a fan! But they are not something I would eat all the time, just occasionally to treat myself! :)

Already my head is feeling clearer and some of the stress I have been feeling has been relieved which is great! I think by the end of the day I will feel completely rested ad ready to go back to work tomorrow. My little sister is coming to my place after school which I am looking forward to and then I am going to watch her dance at her primary school talent show. She is so much more confident and outgoing then I ever was and I think that this is a really good thing!

It isn't a really nice day outside which is a bit of ashaim however it could always be worse. I always try to stay positive and remind myself that the cold weather now will make me appreciate the nicer weather when it does come. I hope that everyone is having (or has had) a fantastic day. Try to stay positive and concentrate on all of the wonderful things in your life. No matter how bad things may seem, you can always make things better :)

Another gorgeous Spring day

As it is Thursday today I have the day off which I am really happy about. I plan to make the most of today and get everything done I need to do as well as to spend some time relaxing as well. I have to work for the next 6 days after today, including this weekend so I won't get another chance to relax or get things done for a while.

While I would rather not work every third weekend so I could just have every weekend to myself, I know that I really have no choice but to continue to work every third weekend as ottherwise I would struggle too much financially. I get paid weekend rates when I work at the supermarket on the weekends so it really is good money, which comes in very handy when you are living on your own and have to pay all of your bills by yourself.

I am about to take Tess for a walk outside which I am really looking forward to as it is really warm and sunny. It feels so good to be able to get outdoors in shorts and a tank top after having such a freezing cold winter. I hope that we have a hot summer this year so that I can make the most of being well enough to swim and get outdoors. The ast few summers I havent really been able to or have wanted to do a lot as my life still revolved around my anorexia.

I hope that everyone is feeling positive and happy today like me. Always remember that no matter how bad things may seem, they can always get better but only if you believe in yourself and continue to fight with everything you've got!

My weekend so far

Yesterday was a good day. I watched my brother play football which he won and my cousin also won her netball grandfinal. Watching so much sport made me want to join a sports team or start playing some more sport too as it seems llike forever since I have done anything liike that. nfortunately there are not very many opportunities for girls to play sport on the east coast of Tasmania however and it is too hard for me to travel to one of the cities because of my work.

I spent the whole day with my cousin and her family and and it was really nice. I had a huge breakfast before I left as I didn't know when I would get another chance to eat. My breakfast consisted of 3 weetbix prepared with milk and 2 slices of toast topped with a mashed banana and I really enjoyed it. Throuughout the morning I only ate an apple but also snaced on jelly beans as my cousin had a HUGE bag full of them.

For lunch I got a chicken burger from KFC as well as a bowl o fruit salad from another take away shop at the food mall. Then on the way home I got an icecream with everybody else wich Iquite enjoyed even though I had no appetite at all. By the time Igot home I wwas feeling really sick and tired and had a huge headache. I am nott 100% sure what was wrong with me but I just felt really unwell and the last thing I felt like doing was eating.

I cooked myself some rice and vegetables which I made myself eat and then I also had a yoghurt after tea for dessert. I tried to watch some tv but eventually I realised that the only thing that would make me feel better was going to bed. I wanted to write a post to let you all know how my hday had been but Ihonestly didn't feel well enough to which is why I am writing it thismorning instead.

Fortunately I have woken up this morning feeling better however I still have no appetite which is strange. Usually I am hungry for all of my meals but the thought of food at the moment actually makes me feel quite sick. Hopefully this feeling passes soon as I hate having to force lots of food into myself whe I have no appetite at all.

I am so happy that I have the day off today! I am going to take Tess for a nice walk as Ionly got to take her for one small one yesterday and hopefully I will just be able to relax too. I honestly think I need some time to just rest and relax today as I still dont really feel like myself. I bought the fifth season of Pretty Little Liars when I was in Hobart yesterday so I have a feeling that quite a few episodes of that may be watched.

I hope that everyone is having a fantastic weekend :D  

Sitting down for the night

My mum always used to say that the best part of her day was when she had done everything she needed to do and could sit down for the night and I have to say, I completely agree. After working all day and then coming home to cook tea, clean up and have a shower, being able to sit on the couch and relax once everything is done really does feel amazing.

I dont think there is really anything much on tv tonight so I dont know what I will do for the next hour or two. I will probably prepare a few blog posts for tomorrow and possiblle read a bit more of the book I am currently reading. I will also try and get a reasonably early night as I have to get up early in the morning so that I can walk Tess and get ready before heading to Hobart with my cousin and her family so that Ican watch her netball game. It would have been nice to just relax for the morning however I am glad I am going to suppotr my cousin while she plays her netball grandfinal.

I dont know where we will go for lunch or anything like that but to be honest I don't really care either. There were stages throughout my illness when I would never have been able to eat out and there have been other sttages when I may have been able to eat out,but only if I had carefully planned exactly what I was going to eatt. It feels so wonderful to have the freedom to just go out and have lunch like a normal person does, without too much anxiety.

I am no longer scared of food. I know that it is not something that can hurt me, but instead that it is ust something that gives me the energy I need to live my life. I am also going to watch my little brother play football which I am really looking forward to. I have been a bit worried about my brother lately as he had a car accident last week and his new ute got completely wrecked. Thank goodness it was completely insured but it still uupset him a lot as it was like his dream vehicle.

Does anyone else have any exciting weekend plans? I would love to hear about them if you do :) x

Finally, a day off

I am so happy that it is finally my day off as I feel as though I have been really busy every single day for the past couple of months. I slept until 6:30 am this morning before getting up and making myself some breakfast. I wasn't really that hungry but still wanted to eat so I had a bowl of cheerios with milk as well as two slices of toast with cashew spread.

It isn't really going to be a very 'relaxing' day offf because I have a lot to do. My whole house is a big mess as I simply have not had any time to clean or tidy it so it will probably take me a few hours just to do all of my housework. My bag I took to Hobart last weekeend is still sitting in the middle of my loungeroom floor as I haven't had a ny time to unpack it and I have lots of loads of washing to do. Other then that I need to vacuum my whole house, clean my kitchen and bathroom and just tidy everything up. I always think it feels amazing one your house is clean as mess stresses me out sometimes so Ilook forward to a nice and clean house.

Today it is my cousins 16th birthday so  am going to go to her place for a birthday Barbeque tea. I am incredibely close to this girl and I would definetely consider her to be one of my closest friends. Even though I am 5 years older then her, we get a long extremely well. She is like another little sister to me really. For her birthday I got her a really pretty journal that sports girl were selling in partnership with the butterfly foundation which is the biggest eating disorder association in Australia. I ordered the jourrnal online but now wish I had ordered myself one too as it is so beautiful.

I know that I should just start my house work however there is so much to do I dont even know where to start. Perhaps I will procrastinate a little longer before I start cleaning. ;) I hope that everyone has a fantastic day!

An enjoyable Sunday

After feeling self conscious this morning, I have actually had a really good day. I have felt better ever since I wrote my earlier post and also once I got out of the house and talked to some people. It was extremely windy so I couldn't take Tess for a very long walk this morning. So I just walked her to the supermarket where my mum was working and had a chat to her and the other staff working there.

By the time I got back it was basically lunch time and I was hungry so I made myself some lunch. I then bakes some chocolate puddings and vaccuumed my house before my mum visited me in her lunch break. I got a text message from my cousin this morning wondering if I wanted to catch up with her and I jumped at the chance. So after my mum left I went and picked my cousin up and bought her back to my house.

Even though my cousin is actually 5 years younger then me, we are really close and get along extremely well. When we work in the shop together, people ask us if we are twins or sisters as they think we look similar. Even though I am older people think we are the ame age as sh elooks quite old for her age and I look quite young. It really doesnt worry me hanging around with my cousin even though she is much younger then me. Afterall ihave always been quite 'young for my age' if that makes sense.

We have made plans to go to Launceston in September to see a country music singer we both really like in concert. We are going to stay the night and make a weekend of it. It should be great to get away for a few days and have some fun. We will most likely do some shopping while we are there as well and maybe go to the cinema. Going to the city is quite different for country people like us as we dont get the opportunity to shop or do anything like that very often.

After my cousin and I watched our movie, the wind had calmed down so we walked back to her place with Tess. By the time Tess and I got home it was time to start cooking tea. I ate ham steaks with mashed pumpkin and potato and boiled vegetables. I have really enjoyed my day and I dont mind that I haven't done much. Afterall today is my last day off for 10 days so I wanted to make the most of it. Now I just need to have a shower and watch a little more Pretty Little Liars before bed.

I hope that everyone else has had a fantastic weekend.

My morning

I cant believe that it is allready lunch time and I still haven't written a post yet today. After sleeping in to 6:30 (remember for me this is an achievement) I got up and ade myself breakfast before watching many episodes of Pretty Little Liars. I am already up to season 2 and cant turn it off it is so addictive! Eventually I realised that it really was too nice to be stuck inside all day so I got ready and took Tess for a beautiful walk.

When I got home I put all of my washing out on the clothes line that I washed this morning and started tidying my house. I can deal with my house being a litttle untidy but usually once I start cleaning, I go into a bit of a frenzyy until everything is neat and in order again. All I need to do now is vacuum my floor which I will do after I write this post and eat my lunch.

Then I am going to go and visit my cousin and her baby who are in my home town, just for a few hours today. I haven't seen them for ages so it will be so nice to catch up with them. My cousin is only two years older then me so we were really quite close growing up and I have many wonderful memories of the time we would spend together. Now she lived in Hobart though so unfortunately we dont see each other very often at all.

I am so happy for my cousin as she has worked really hard and achieved so much. She has a baby and is also engaged to her wonderful boyfriend. She never went to uni but she has still made a wonderful life for herself and a good career. She was partly what inspired me to leave uni as I could see how wonderful her life was turning out for her and she didnt have any degree. I guess she is the one who showed me that to be happy all you need to do is what you love and what brings you joy.

After I have a visit with her I am planning on going to visit my family up on our family farm where they live, 10 minutes out of town. I am hoping to catch up with my brothers and dad as it feel like I havent seen them for ages. I also want to spend some time with Amy, of course and I might go for a walk with my mum. Walking is something mum and I have always done together and I think it is good for both of us, to be able to spend some time alone with one another.

I hope everybody is having a fantastic Saturday! :)

Finally, a day off work

I am so happy that I finally have a day off of work! I am feeling completely exhausted after working for the last 10 days straight and feel as though I really need a day of not doing very much at all. Of course I have a little house work and cleaning to catch up on and I would like to bake some Pudding as well but I don't plan to leave home today, besides when I go walking with Tess. I think most of my day will be spent on the couch watching Pretty Little Liars. I am hopng that it wont be too cold so that I can enjoy taking Tess for a nice long walk on the beach.

I am feeling really good after making the few changes I have made and surprsingly I am not missing the extra food I was eating that I am now not eating at all. I suppose this means that I am still providing my body with all the energy that it needs. If I had become extremely hungry all the time I would have suspected that my body still needed the extra food I was eatting so I would have needed to re-increase my calories again but fortunately this has not been the case. I really am starting to feel and look like my old self again which is great.

Something I have noticed since cuting my caloies back a little is that my aorexia has been shouting at me to restrict and weigh my food more again. I dont know if this is actually due to the fact that I am eating a little less now or if it is just coinsidence but whatever the cae may be, I am determined to commpletely ignore my anorexia and do the complete opposite to what it says. I am not fully recovered yet and I do not want to spend the rest of my life with this anorexic voice in my head so the only option is to keep fighting it, until it disssapears for good.

I had a reasonable night sleep las night but Iam still feeling tired so I think I will probably have a sleep at sometime throughout the day as well. Ilove having a little sleep in the middle of the day. I always get sleepy after eating lunch, especially when I am in front of a warm heater so, no doubt Iwill fall asleep then. And hopefullly then I will be able to stay awake tonight to watch Master Chef as it is finals week. Even tthough master chef is only on from 7:30 o about 9::00, I still fall asleep some nights before it finishes as I am so tired.

Tomorrow I am back to work at the bank but then I ave the whole weekend of. It will be the first weekend in a along time that I haven't had Amy for the night too. I absoluttely love Amy coming to stay but it will be nice just to have a little time to myself, to relax and unwind before another busy week of work. No doubt I will still go up and visit my family though. Hopefully my brothers will be home from Hobart so that I can catch up with them as I havent seen them for ages.

 

Spending time with my sister

As always Amy and I have had a really nice afternoon together. We went for a walk on the beach with Tess, visited my nan, played Nancy Drew, Watched Glee, lisened to Kieth Urban and made Pizzas! At the moment we are just waiting for Night in The Museum 2 to come on TV. We watched the first one last Saturday night and really enjoyed it so were happy when we realised the second one was on tonight. I hope that everyone is having a fantasic weekend!<3 xx

We had pizza for Tea which was super yummy! We had a whole pizza each and Amy was very proud when she finished before me as I always finish first ;)

I only just got out of the shower before we ate tea which is why my hair is so crazy 

After Tea Amy taught Tess a new trick. Tess now knows how to shake hands :)

I love both of my girls (Amy and Tess) so much <3

Glad it's the weekend

I love the weekends. Especially now that I am no longer studying. I remember when I was at college and university even on the weekend I never gave myself a real break. As I felt so guilty for not spending every moment studying. That is what I love the most about working and no longer studying. I feel as though when I finish at work each day I can just come home and forget bout what is going on at work.

I got to the stage before I stopped studying that I was completely miserable. I was just spending every minute of everyday studying as otherwise I would feel incredibely guilty. I think that it was my perfectionism that made me do this and I guess that it made me feel better if I felt as though I was in complette control of my academic performance, just as I have doen with my food intake and weight.

So I guess that has made me appreciate days off and truly being able to relax so much more now, which is why I love the weekends so much. I have Amy again this weekend but that is ok as she really is no trouble. And ortunately she doesn't mind just relaxing as well. In fact it is usually me trying to drag her out of the house to go for walks or do anything as she just wants to stay in, play on her ipad and watch tv.

We dont really have any plans but I am sure we will think of something to do. It is supposed to be really cold over the weekend owever I cant really see how it could get much colder then it already has been. Over the weekend I need to get a fair bit of housework done like vacuuming, clothes washing and tidying the house but I don't reallly mind. I actually dont mind doing housework and cleaning that much, in fact sometimes I actually enjoy it.

Over the weekend I would also like to bake muffns and bake some puddings. And of course I will take Tess for some nice walks, perhaps even a run at some stage. On Sunday night Iam going out for tea with my family and my dads boss and his family. I am actually strangely looking forward to it. Does anyone else have any exciting plans for the weekend? I hope that you all have a nice chance to rest and relax! :) x

My day

Considering how down I was feeling last night, overall I have had a really good day. This morning I just relaxed which I felt as though I really needed. I took Tess for a walk arond waterloo point which is a walking track by the ocean. I used to walk there every single day however I havent done it for a month or more, ever since I have been walking for only short distances.

After relaxing for most of the day, I headed up to my family home to visit everyone however only Amy and mum were home. I could see that my mum was really upset so I tried to talk to her which I think went quite well. I am no longer feeling angry towards her, but instead just very sorry for her. I know that she is battling an awful illness and understand the complete desperation she is feeling.

I so wish that I could somehow help her but I really don't think I can, which really upsets me. Afterall, I really just want her to get better. Today my mum told me about a conversation she had with Luke, my younger brother last weekend and I think that some of the things he said to her were really special.

Firstly, he told my mum that she was an incrediely wonderful mum when we were really little kids, and that he just wanted her to be the same kind of mum to Amy, while she is still little. I think it is so important that Luke said this as he is so right. I had almost forgotten how wonderful mum was to us when we were young children, when really I shouldn't have.

The other thing he said to my mum truly touched my heart. He said, 'Mum anything is possible, just look at Karly. We never thought she was going to get better and look at her now.' Hearing mum repeat those word to me made me feel so happy and wonderful. After feeling self conscious at various times today, none of that mattered to me anymore. Who cares if my bum was getting bigger, my little brother could see the progress I had made and believed in me.

When mum and I went back inside to where Amy was, Amy asked mum if she could stay the night at my house. I was worried about how mum would react but she was ok with it and said that she could come and stay as long as she was back home early tomorrow morning. Amy and I waited at home with mum until Dad and Luke got home and then we left after spending a little time with them.

When we got back to my place Tess was eagerly waiting outside for us and she was happy to see I had Amy with me. Amy and I didn't get hom until quite late so we both just had soup with fresh bread for tea. Now we are both watching Night at the Museum which is a movie I quite like, but that Amy has never seen. I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

Todays To-Do list

Early morning update

It is currently 5:38 am and I am snuggled in front of the fire with my blanket and blogging while I eat my Breakfast. I had a typical breakfast for me of 2 slices if toast with cashew spread and a bowl of creamy vanilla and peach oats with 1 sliced banana on top. I have woken up in a positive mood and feel as though today will be a good day.

Excuse the bed hair and the onsie ;)

My day off yesterday was really nice but I didnt do very much besides relax. It was too cold and rainy to do anything outside and I am also still trying to limit my exercise as much as possible. Since making a special effort to exercise less I can feel myself being able to cope with less exercise so much easier. I can now see that although I couldnt see it at the time, exercise was still an issue for me up until only a few weeks ago. I took Tess for two little walks throughout the day and my sister Amy joined me on the second walk as she came to my house for the afternoon after she finished school. 

Amy and I walking on the windy beach

I dont mind going back to work today as I only have to work today and then I have the weekend off again. It is my dads birthday tomorrow so I will probably spend most of the day with him and then Amy is staying tomorrow night. I have promised her a pizza and movie night so it should be fun. :)

I hope everyone has had a fantastic week. :) Do you have any exciting plans for the weekend? :)

Happy Mothers Day

Today is Mothers Day but mum had to work all day so I just spent the day with my sister Amy. Amy and I were both tired after our big day at the football yesterday so went to bed pretty early last night. Because I went to bed early I also woke up really early, at about 2 am and have barely gotten any sleep since. By about 4am I was fed up with tossing and turning so got up and put on one of my series; Love Child.

Love Child is set in Australias Kings Cross in the year 1969. I really enjoy watching tv series like these that teach you a bit of Australian history as well as having an excellent story line. The actual story is about a group of young girls who each fell pregnant out of wedlock and were then sent to a special home so that they would not disgrace their families names. It also shows alot from the inside of the maternity ward of the general hospital where one of the main characters, a midwife works.

I had my breakfast early, about two hours before Amy even woke up. When Amy got up I made her some breakfast, ate my morning Tea and then took Tess for a quick walk to the Supermarket to do some shopping. When I got back Amy and I watched some grays anatomy before having lunch. After lunch I went to find mum a mothers day present (nothing like leaving things to the last minute) and found a really nice photo frame. The frame read;

I thought it was a lovely verse and the style of frame also really suited our beautiful old home. Amy and I just took it really easy for the afternoon. She wrote in her diary and I blogged while we listened to some Taylor Swift, one of our favourite singers.

Since it was mothers day I went and had tea with the rest of my immediate family including both my nans and one of my uncles. It was nice to be all together as I really cant remember the last time I was at home with both my parents, both my brothers and also my sister.  

We had steak cooked on the barbeque which was a huge step for me. Although I loved steak before I got sick, tonight is the first time I have eaten it in three years and it was truly delicious. I could  tell my dad was proud of me for eating what the rest of the family did and this made up for any anxiety or worries I had over eating the steak. Since I got back home I had my increased dessert as well as a hot chocolate. 

I had to add some stewed peaches to my dessert as I havent made any more puddings since I have decided to increase the portion size of my dessert. Instead of making the puddings in a big dish, I seperate the mixture into muffin pans before cooking them so I am left with lots of single serve portions. This means I can freeze the portions easily and I also find that it avoids the mess associated with cutting into a big pudding and eating it over a number of days.

I hope everyone had a truly fantastic mothers day :D

What would you like to read about?

It is still awfully windy and cold so I plan on spending my whole day off in front of the fire, blogging and watching tv. At the moment it is only 9 degrees but the wind makes it feel even colder. I will also make some chocolate muffins this afternoon as I ate my last one yesterday. :)

Me rugged up in my puffer jacket and beanie before taking Tess for a walk

Tess is inside with me all the time at the moment as her kennel is wrecked and there is no where sheltered outside for her to get out of the terrible weather. I dont mind though, she is really good company for me and stops me from feeling lonely. My sister Amy is coming to my place when she finishes school this afternoon which I am also looking forward to. We get along so well and miss each other a lot now I have moved out and dont see each other everyday.

I still have heaps of post ideas but I really would love some feedback about what you would like me to write about. The number of page views I get significantly changes each day and I was just wondering what types of posts you like the most. While this is a recovery blog, I wouldnt mind writing more personal posts if thats what you wanted to read or even everyday things not necessarily relevant to EDs, for example movie reviews or information posts about Australia.

Please let me know what you think and dont be afraid to be really honest. :) I love constructive critisism and find it really helpful. Keep fighting everyone and remember that nothing is impossible. <3

Saturday update + todays meals

Amy and I had a nice relaxing morning this morning. She always shows a lot of interest in my blog and was really excited when I asked her if she wanted to write a post to publish on my blog. She wrote most of it while I was out walking Tess this morning and I helped her edit it when I got back. It made me sad to see how much my anorexia has effected her but also grateful that she loves me so much despite my illness. Amy and I are incredibely close and I dont think my anorexia has ever come between us. In fact if anything it has made us closer as it has made us realse just how important we are to one another. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up thinking about how our eating disorders effect our lives and we forget how it effects the people we love. Amy is one of the main people that I fight my anorexia for everyday. I want to recover so that I can be the big sister that she deserves to have.

I have spent a lot of the day resting which has felt really good. Amy went home just after lunch and since then I have written a few blog posts, watched some grays anatomy, taken Tess for another tiny walk and watched tv. At the moment I am watching the movie Dear John. I was really tired after tea so actually got a couple of hours sleep before Dear John started. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay awake while watching it otherwise. I havent seen this movie since back in 2010 but I remember loving it when I saw it. It feels so strange to think back to times before I got sick. I cant even remember what it was like to be normal anymore.  It seems like it has been forever since a time that my life didn't revolve around food, weight and my anorexia. I still cant imagine what it will be like to oneday be free of my anorexia again, all I do know is that it will be the most wonderful feeling in the world.

The foods I eat on the weekends are usually a bit different then what I have during the week as I dont have to worry about packing my lunch up to take to work and have more time to cook in the evenings. 

2 slices of toast with honey nut spread, 1 bowl of sweet cinnamon and apple oats

1 banana Up And Go and 1 chocolate muffin

2 slices of fresh bread with butter, cheese and tomato relish, 1 chocolate snak pak and 1 extra large sliced banana

1 violet crumble, 1 large pear and 1 small banana

1 chicken breast schnitzel, baked tomato dish and oven cooked chips

1 orange, 1 white hot chocolate and 2 macadamia and white chocolate chip cookies

I hope that everyone has had an amazing Saturday and that your Sunday is as equally amazing! :)