Eating healthily and exercising

A common misconception is that people who eat healthily and work out want to lose weight. I have received various different comments over the last couple of months about what I eat and the exercise I do. People say things like 'you dont have to go to the gym, you are already skinny' or 'why do you only eat healthy foods, you dont need to lose weight.' 

What these people fail to realise is that I dont eat healthily or exercise because I am trying to lose weight. In fact I am actually trying to gain weight at the moment. I do these things however because I love and respect my body and want to keep it healthy and strong. 

Eating healthy foods does NOT necessarily cause weightloss if you are still getting enough calories. It just means that the foods you eat nourish your body and make you feel more energetic, instead of harming your body and making you feel lethargic and slugish.

Similarily, exercise does NOT lead to weight loss as long as you are fueling your body with enough energy. The health benefits of being physically active are endless and include things like disease prevention and more efficient respiratory, cardiovascular and metabolic functioning. As well as improving your physical health, exercise also has the ability to improve mental health.

I suppose an important question to ask yourself if you have had an eating or exercise disorder before is 'why am I exercising?' or 'why do I eat healthily?' If the honest answer is because you enjoy these things and want to nourish your body and allow it to be healthy and strong, then I see no reason why you shouldn't be doing these things. 

If however your honest answer to these questions are more 'disordered' reasons, then I would question whether you should be eating healthily or exercising, as doing these things will most likely be destructive to you and your mental health.

Today's visual food diary

BREAKFAST: Herbalife shake made with 3 scoops of vanilla nutritional mix, 1 scoop of personalized protein powder, 1 cup if almond milk, 1 banana, 7 strawberries, cinnamon and sweetner

MORNING TEA: 1 sachet of berry oats, 1diced apple and 150ml of almond milk, 1scoop of protein powder and cinnamon

LUNCH: Pasta salad (80g of pasta shells, 5 slices of diced ham, 1 boiled egg, capsicum, 2 tbs of  fat free mayo) served on a bed of baby spinach with a cup of hot peach herbalife tea

AFTERNOON TEA: 1 banana and 1 large protein bar





TEA: Vegetable Lasagna with lightly salted vegetables (carrot, broccoli, peas and sweet potato)

DESSERT: 1 red berry layered Danone Greek Ultimate Yoghurt with a large pear

Making eating a priority

Something I have learnt through my own recovery is that in order to get better, you really do need to make food a top priority. 

For example while it may not be normal to set an alarm so you can get up early to eat breakfast, it may be essential to ensure you get enough energy in throughout the day. 

Even now that I am no longer trying to gain weight, I feel as though I dtill need to make a very special effort just to get enough food in each day so I dont lose any weight. For example because I cant make my breakfast early due to not wanting to disturb other people in the house who are sleeping, I make myself a pre breakfast snack (or atleast have a supplement drink) instead of morning tea and then I have breakfast at my old morning tea time.

Also, even though others may not eat if they dont feel hungry, we cant do that. I eat atleast a bare minimum number of calories over 6 meals no matter how hungry I may be. This is what I had to do while I was gaining weight and that is what I dtill do today to ensure I don't lose any weight.

The point I am trying to make is that in order to have a successful recovery, you will have to make eating a top priority. You cant just not eat because your busy or because your not hungry. Food is our medicine and in order to recover we need to have our medicine in the correct amount and also often enough. 

Eating more both in and after recovery

You may find, that in order to gain weight early on in your recovery, you dont have to eat that much food. As time passes however and as your metabolism gets faster, you will most likely have to keep increasing your intake in order to keep gaining weight.

As explained ithe science of eating disorders website;

'Weight restoration is a crucial component of anorexia nervosa treatment. It is a challenging process for a multitude of reasons. Adding to the complexity and the challenge is the fact that during weight restoration, individuals with anorexia nervosa tend to require increasingly more calories to maintain the same rate of weight gain.'

Even though continuously having to increase your intake can be really hard, I think that you shoud consider this as a good thing as it means your metabolism is repairing and functioning properly again. Even after you reach a healthy weight, you will most likely have to eat more then others around you in order to just maintain your weight.

This was also explained in the same article;

'After achieving a healthy weight, individuals recovering from anorexia nervosa still typically need to eat more calories to maintain their new healthy weight — more than healthy individuals of the same weight who do not have eating disorder histories'

This is why I have to take particular care to ensure I am always eating plenty now, even though I am only trying to maintain my weight. It also explains why I accidentely lost some weight a couple of months ago, even though I was eating the same amount as those around me. To be honest, I enjoy having a fast metabolism now and am glad that I am now able to eat so much, without gaining weight.

If you find you are able to keep gaining weight on a low intake of food in your recovery, I would reccommend increasing your calorie intake anyway. Otherwise there is a chance that your metabolism wont repair which will mean you will be stuck eating small amounts of food forever. And eating normal portions once you are weight restored may lead to weight gain.

My relationship with food post anorexia

Although I no longer consider myself to suffer from full blown anorexia, I know I still do not have a completely normal relationship with food either. I dont really worry about the fact that my relationship with food is a little different to others around me as it is not particularly harmful. I find it quite interesting as I have noticed other people who have also recovered eat quite similarly to me.

Firstly, I prefer to eat larger quantities of low calorie density foods. So the size of my meals is the same as others calories wise most of the time, however my meals just contain a lot more food. This probably started for me when I had anorexia and tried to eat as much as possible while consuming the fewest amount of calories possible. So while I dont try and limit my calories anymore, I still enjoy the same types of foods so need to eat a lot of them to ensure I am getting enough energy.

Because I really enjoy lots of vegetables and salads, I add heaps of these to my meals which makes them very large in volume. 

It sounds silly but I think I also like to eat large quantities of food because I just really enjoy eating and love food. I eat 6 meals a day and hate skipping meals. It is actually a fear of mine to skip meals and being hungry makes me really anxious and upset. I would much prefer to eat 6 small meals than 5 larger ones each day, even if it means I have to get up early so that I can do so.

Even though my meals are large, I eat them really fast which people often notice and are astonished by. I dont know why I eat so fast, but I have always the first to finish a meal ever since I started my recovery. I remember when I was really sick I used to eat my meals incredibely slowly, at an attemp to savour of morsal of food. But I suppose I just dont feel the need to do this anymore as I give my body all of the food it needs and am less obsessed with food.

Unlike most people, I still keep a basic count of the number of calories I eat each day to ensure I am getting enough energy. Some people may say that this is an unhealthy behaviour for me to have and I can see where they are coming from. However I have found this to be necessary in order for me to maintain my weight. If i dont do this and just try to listen to my hunger cues, I often find my self accidently eating too little.

I always eat absolutely everything on my plate. I know that this is probably a really weird trait for a post anorexic to have but I always finish all of my meals. I think I started doing this so strictly in recovery so that my anorexia could not try and tempt me to leave food. (Because I always ate everything on my plate no matter how full I felt, my anorexic voice didnt even try to get me to leave any behind.) So I guess I have kind of been conditioned to not associate feeling full with stopping eating.

Some recent dinners

Battered fish, mashed pumpkin and potato, carrots, peas, broccoli and cauliflower

Tomato pasta served on a bed of baby butterleaf lettuce 

Chicken nuggets with BBQ sauce, mashed veggies and boiled carrot, peas, cauliflower and broccoli 

Beef caneolli in tomato sauce, 1 Slice of fresh buttered bread, lettuce, red beet, cherry tomatoes and cheese

Beef bolognaise with carrot, cauliflower and broccoli 

Fruit is HEALTHY!

Something I get tired of is people trying to tell me that fruit is bad as it had lots of sugar in it. I know that too many processed sugars are bad for you and have health risks associated with them but I do not think that fruit can ever be bad. I think that fruit is a tasty source of energy and  often have up to 5 pieces/serves per day. I was delighted when I found these few articles written on 

http://www.forksoverknives.com that reinforce the fact that fruit is fine and that it IS HEALTHY!

Is the Sugar in Fruit Healthy or Unhealthy
We are bombarded by stories in the media about how sugar is bad for our health and sweets of all kind should be avoided. However, the desire for sweet-tasting foods is perfectly normal and natural! Indeed, our tongue contains an abundance of sweet receptors for a good reason. Fresh fruit, the source of natural sweetness, is health promoting and an excellent source of calories for the human body. This is why we recommend you include generous amounts of fresh fruit in your diet, and know that it’s even okay to make a meal out of nature’s candy. If you have never tried this, you may be surprised by just how satisfying it is.
Food Companies and Refined Sugar

In drawing us to fruit, our sweet tooth was designed to support our long-term health; however, food companies, in an effort to make their products more desirable, use this natural affinity for sweets in a way that brings harm to us. While the simple sugars from whole fruit support human health, the refined, or extracted, sugars do not. The refining process removes the water, fiber, and virtually every other nutrient and element of the food. What’s left behind is sugar and only sugar—not the package it belongs in. This extraction is more calorie dense and thus overstimulating to our pleasure senses. Even worse, food manufacturers add these highly concentrated, palate-pleasing sugars to already stimulating and disease-causing high-fat foods.
Embrace Sugar in Fruit and Whole Foods

There’s a point in all this that’s not frequently made in the media or by health professionals: Sugar as it occurs in whole foods is not an issue; in fact, it is necessary and should be embraced. It’s a problem only when it is extracted from its natural package and used to excess. Also, the foods highest in added sugars frequently are higher in added fats, sodium, refined flours, and animal products, making them unhealthy for a variety of reasons and not just because of the added sugars.


Is It Possible to Eat Too Much Fruit?
New, emerging literature has shown that low-dose fructose from whole, natural foods may actually benefit blood sugar control. So having a piece of fruit with each meal could lower, not raise the blood sugar response. But what about fructose toxicity? The threshold for toxicity of fructose may be around 50 grams. The problem is, that that’s how much fructose the average adult consumes in one day. That means that half of all adults are likely above the threshold for fructose toxicity, and adolescents currently average 75 grams.

Is that the limit for added sugars or for all fructose? If we don’t want more than 50 grams and there’s about ten grams in a piece of fruit, should we limit our fruit consumption to five pieces a day? According to the Harvard Health Letter: “The nutritional problems of fructose and sugar come when they are added to foods. Fruit, on the other hand, is beneficial in almost any amount.”

What do they mean almost? Can we eat ten fruits a day? How about twenty?
We don’t have to guess. It’s actually been put to the test. In one study, seventeen people were made to eat 20 servings a day of fruit. Despite the extraordinarily high fructose content of this diet (about 200 grams per day, or the amount in 8 cans of soda), the investigators reported no adverse effects (and possible benefit actually) for body weight, blood pressure, insulin, and lipid levels after three to six months.

More recently, Jenkins and colleagues put people on a 20 servings of fruit a day dietfor a few weeks with no adverse effects on weight, blood pressure, or triglycerides and an astounding 38 point drop in LDL cholesterol.

There was one side effect, though. Their bathroom habits became very regular.
So what’s the bottom line?

Fresh fruit promotes good health and is an excellent source of calories. So when it comes to nature’s candy, feel free to enjoy it in abundance.

RAVES

Some dieticians or eating disorder specialists like to use the acronym 'RAVES' when referring to the aspects of recovery and normalizing eating routines. I am proud to say that I have slowly incorporated all aspects of RAVES into my life and I highly reccommend that you work towards doing this too. I assure you that if you manage to develop a fully healthy relationship with food, you will be happier and your life will be better! 

I found the following information that I thought you may find interesting at this website.

It must be remembered that these five aspects of RAVES can’t be put in place all at once, and that the process of developing your eating pattern will take time, courage, trust and lots of ups and downs. However, by gradually developing your eating pattern using the principles of RAVES, you are laying the foundation for developing a more positive relationship with food. Remember, you can definitely take steps towards establishing a quality of life consistent with your individual values and a greater level of independence through improved nutrition.

Regularity is the foundation of a structured eating pattern as it lays the base upon which the other aspects of having a positive relationship with food are built. A regular eating pattern will consist of eating every three hours or so, and includes three main meals and two to three snacks (Breakfast, Morning Tea, Lunch, Afternoon Tea, Dinner and Supper). Adopting and maintaining a regular eating pattern will assist in: providing structure to your daily routine; minimising grazing and preventing binging; improving your metabolism and your body’s ability to ‘burn’ food; strengthening your digestive muscles and improving bowel regularity; maintaining stable blood sugar levels throughout the day and evening; developing regular hunger and satiety signals that coincide with meal/snack times; and providing an opportunity to spread your nutrition through the day so that you are able to eat the amount of food necessary to meet your nutritional requirements. Once regularity has been established, the next nutritional goal is adequacy.

Adequacy means getting enough food and nutrition to meet your nutritional requirements and achieve medical stabilisation, nutritional rehabilitation, and an appropriate goal weight range. Achieving nutritional adequacy consists of including all food groups in your eating pattern in a way that provides adequate protein, carbohydrate and fat to support nutritional balance and ongoing good nutrition. This will usually mean increasing the amount of food eaten across the three main meals and snacks, and will form the basis for long term weight maintenance and health in recovery.

Variety is important because it plays an essential role in the development of a positive relationship with food and lays the foundation for more social eating. It is possible to reach your goal weight by eating the same foods each day, or by using nutritional supplements or nasogastric feeding, but the key to sustainability is in having a variety of food that you feel safe with. Having variety in the foods you eat makes food interesting, stimulates the taste buds, allows for eating opportunities with family and friends, and so really helps in the development of a positive relationship with food. Variety also helps challenge the notion of good and bad foods as it provides an opportunity for you to trust many different foods and is the stepping stone to further social eating opportunities with family and friends.

Eating Socially and the ability to eat with others is an important part of working towards, and maintaining recovery. As the ability to eat in social situations develops further, opportunities exist to develop social networks that help distract from the eating disorder thoughts. This is because your mind is often more engaged in conversations with those around you rather than the eating disorder thoughts. Social eating is also an important part of recovery as it supports eating with family members, eating in the workplace or school, and eating with friends.

Spontaneity is important in nutritional recovery because it allows your relationship with food to be more natural. Spontaneity means eating foods that you have not planned for or doing things unexpectedly. For example, if you plan to have a specific meal and you get invited out for dinner, you can make the decision to go out for dinner even though that is not what was planned. What spontaneity brings to the eating pattern is a greater ability to be socially integrated from a food perspective and a greater ability to respond to unforeseen situations, which help in sustaining recovery for the long term.

Paleo Diet

Last night I watched a program called 'Sunday Night' which featured a story about a man doing a Paleo diet challenge which I found quite interesting. Dieticians are very sceptical about this type of diet and I must say that I completely agree. While I had heard the term Paleo diet used before, I actually didn't realise just how restrictive the Paleo diet is. The definition of the Pa\aleo diet is as follows

Paleo diet

ˈpalɪəʊ dʌɪət/

noun

noun: Paleo diet; plural noun: Paleo diets; noun: Paleodiet; plural noun: Paleodiets; noun: Palaeo diet; plural noun:Palaeo diets

1. a diet based on the types of foods presumed to have been eaten by early humans, consisting chiefly of meat, fish, vegetables, and fruit and excluding dairy or cereal products and processed food.

I honestly think that if a person wants to limit their intake of sugar and processed foods then that is their choice however I am not convinced that going completely paleo is a very good idea for anyone. For example, I do not think that people need to cut out all dairy products, legumes and wholegrains in order to be healthy. Early humans may have survived on only meat, fruit ad vegetables however I do not think that this means that it is necessarily the best way to live. Afterall, the life expectancy of people was much less back then, than it is now.

I do not think it is a bad idea to try and limit the amount of processed foods you eat and I think it is good to eat as much nutritious food as you possibely can however I think that eating only Paleo foods is extremely restrictive and not necessarily healthy at all. One reason why I would never go fully 'Paleo' is because I simply enjoy non Paleo foods too much. Some people claim that it is better to only eat Paleo foods as all other foods are not good for our bodies. I think it is fine to eat non-Paleo foods however, as long as you eat them along with nutritious foods and in moderation.

Some people may be intollerant to various food groups and may feel better for cutting prticular foods out of their diet however I do not think that there is any need to cut the non paleo food groups out of your diet if your body seems to cope with them fine. For example, no food groups make me feel unwell or cause me digestive discomfort so I do not avoid any food groups and do not think it is necessary for me to do so. I think I have spent enough of my life worrying about food and restricting what I eat to continue doing it anymore for no good reason. 

I agree with what was written as the 'bottom line' on the UPMC website

My Bottom Line

If you want to "health up" your diet, by all means do. But rather than going paleo, try this:

• Do eat three meals a day.
• Do include some protein at every meal and snack.
• Do include foods with color at every meal or snack.
• Do include some grains at every meal and snack, such as cereal, whole grain bread, rice, or pasta.
• Do include a little fat at each meal, such as nuts, butter, salad dressing, oil , or a little mayonnaise.
• Do be selective with some of the less healthy foods.

What are your opinions on the Paleo diet? Would you ever try to follow it yourself?

How to stop thinking about food

Somthing that used to drive me crazy and still drives me crazy to some degree is obsessing over food. When I first started obsessing over food, it was because I was restricting what I ate. Since eating recovery amounts, I dont think about food anywhere near as much as I used to do but I do still think about it more then normal people do whixh I find quite annoying. I guess this is because it has almost become a habit, that I now need to break. I found the following article from this website really interesting and also really helpful.

Are these the thoughts that run through your head? All. Day. Long?

Isn’t it lunch time yet? (at 10:00 am)

What should I make for dinner? (at 3:00 pm after your sweet treat pick-me-up)

Anything healthy in that vending machine?

OMG! I just totally blew my whole day by eating too many calories…

…may as well keep going.

If I get the calorie-free version, I can eat more.

Did I really just eat an entire half of an avocado?!

I want to eat that cookie. I was so good all day. I deserve a treat. It’ll be fine… I’ll just work out longer tomorrow.

It’s the weekend; I deserve another glass of wine.

Bathing Suit!? I really need to cut my calories…

…I’ll start Monday.

Clients often say, “Maya, it’s like you’re in my head!” to which I reply, “Because these used to be my thoughts too.” After uncovering my passion and purpose, I’ve come to learn that I was never alone with these thoughts, that these were the thoughts of millions of other women (and a few men) too. So YES, you are not alone in them and YES there is a way out of the obsessive thinking addiction.

So let’s begin to tackle this mental habit, but first know this:

This is not a subject that can be covered in its entirety with one tiny little blog post. The clients participating in my FREEDOM coaching program, can take over six months to get through this topic. This should give you an idea of the depth of practice required to alter your behaviors permanently.

In the meantime, let’s take a closer look and try to understand this topic a little bit better so you can begin to make some changes in your life NOW.

Thinking about food all of the time is a mental habit. Mental habits are repetitions of thought, meaning thoughts you keep thinking over and over again. In the same way you change a physical habit by first determining an alternative routine, you must first determine the desired alternative thought.

In other words, if you didn’t think about food ALL day long, what would you want to think about instead? What would you prefer to think about instead of the constant barrage of food thoughts? If the thinking about food makes you feel burdened, worrisome or frustrated, what thoughts would make you feel happy, light or peaceful?

Maybe thinking about something you are grateful for.

What about an accomplishment in your life?

Or even focusing on a peaceful or relaxing place like ocean or mountains?

Once you’ve determined the alternative thought you wish to use to replace the old one, you must maintain enough awareness of your thoughts to catch yourself thinking them! Typically, in the beginning, thoughts about food come so often and are so prominent (like any habit) that you only realize they are happening, when you notice how bad they make you feel.

It is entirely possible that just reading this post will help you to be more aware in the coming days.

So when the food thoughts arise and you are conscious of them, do this:

1. Pause for a moment.

2. Close your eyes.

3. Take three breaths, inhaling and exhaling deeply, breathing from your belly.

4. Repeat these words to yourself, “I am calm. Everything is OK in this moment.”You can say it silently to yourself or out loud.

5. Continue by recalling your desired, alternate thought to mind. Hold that thought for as long as it is comfortable, peaceful and relaxing.

Repeat this as often as needed for one week. Practice focusing on your new thought and note the changes to your thought patterns and subsequent emotions along the way. In the same you practice a new habit of meal planning or exercising, you are practicing a new thought habit. Remember, progress, not perfection.

Obsessing over food

Something I certainly do not miss from when my anorexia was at its worst is being completely obsessed with food. I would literally spend every minute of everyday thinking about food and it really was horrible. Because I wasn't eating anywhere near enough, my body obviously wanted me to eat which Isuppose was one of the reasons I couldn't stop thinking about food.

I became obsessed with trying my hardest to trick my body and everyone around me into thinking that I was eating plenty, however I was always consuming hardly any calories. I always ate foods that had a very low calorie density so that I would feel full for a little while however my body was still getting barely any energy.

I remember laying awake being unable to sleep at night and watching television series like 'Man Vs Food'. I don't know if you have ever heard of this show but it is basically just about a guy travelling around America and dining at 'pig out joints.' My favourite segment on the show would be when he took on food challenges when he had to do insane things like eat 30 hot dogs in 30 minutes etc.

I absolutely loved every minute that I spent eating (as long as I had prepared the food myself) and tried to eat my food as slowly as possible so that I could enjoy it for longer. I would use tny cutlery, take tiny bites and chew each mouthful many times. The whole time I wasn't eating, I was inpatiently waiting for my next meal time. I would never eat a meal early, no matter how hungry I was as to me this meant that I had lost the control I had over food which is something I was terrified of.

I would sped a long time cooking for other people. I would cook cakes and cookies and slices but eventually my family stoppped eating them and I couldn't bare to see food wasting so I stopped baking. I still however continues to read cook books and collect recipes. I would often rearrange the food on our fridge or cupboards and I had my own section of the fridge/in the cupboard where my food went.

In a way, even just watching the people around me eating nice foods would be satisfying and it made me feel as though I didnt need to ea myself. I could spen hours and hours in a supermarket, walking up every single isle many times and inspecting every product. I knew the nutritional information of many foods and had an inbuilt calorie counter in my brain.

I would spend hours and hours on my calorie counting app, planning future meals and I would also search for new foods that I could buy that would fit into my extremely restrictive diet easly. while all of my family wwere worried about me, they all knew that they could not mention my food intake to me at all without world war three breaking out. i was very deffensive about what I was eating as my anorexiaa really had tricked me into thinking I was eating enough.

My mum would yell and scream at me if I ever mentioned food but since this was really all that I thought about from day to day, I really didn't have anything else to talk about. obsessing over food all day everyday really was hell for me and I am so glad that I do not do this anymore. I really do believe that we should eat so that we can live. we definetely should not live so that we can eat.

There are so many wonderful things in life to enjoy however we miss out on all of those things while we are sick and obsessing over food and calories. Life really is a gift and we shouldn't waste it being sick with an eating disorder. Please, keep fighting for recovery and live the woderful life you truly deserve.

Day 20: What makes you happy

I have decided to choose 3 things that make me happy as I couldn't chose just one.

The first thing that makes me inredibly happy is my beautiful dog Tess. Tess is so special to me and I really don't know what I would do with out her. One of the things Ifear most is something happening to Tess resulting in me losing her.  She is my best friend and I can always rely on her to  make me smile. Tess has the amazing ability of knowing how I am feeling. Whenever I am down or upset she always stays extra close and shows me lots of affection which makes me feel so much better.



Another thing that makes me really happy if food and eating. This would probably sound strange to some people as they do not realise just how much anorexics generally love food. As long as I feel as though I am in control of my food I love it and love eating. I look forward to my meal times when I know I can eat and eating yummy things (which is like everything to me) really cheers me up.While I am no longer obsessed with food as I was when I was severely restricting my intake, I think I still do like eating more then normal people do.

Something else that makes me happy is talking to and helping people all around the world who are also suffering from eating disorders. Ever since I developed anorexia myself and felt the desperation that comes with suffering from an eaating disorder, I have known that I wanted to recover and then help others to do the same. Knowing that I am making some kind of positive difference to a few people trying to recover from anorexia means the wabsolute world to me and makes me feel incredibely happy. 

day 13: Whats inside my fridge

UP AND GO'S

APPLES

MANDARINS

STRAWBERRIES

CAULIFLOWER

CARROTS

RASPBERRY AND WHITE CHOCOLATE YOGHURTS

CHOCOLATE TOPPING

VANILLA YOGHURT

MILK

APPLE PUREE

DICED PEACHES

CHOCOLATE SNAK PACKS

FRUIT JUICE

CHEESE

TOMATO PASTE

TOMATO RELISH

BUTTER

BELGIUM

CORDIAL

CHOCOLATE BARS

CREAMED RICE

EGGS

MAYONAISE

CAESER SALAD DRESSING

CAPSICUM

Day 11: 10 favourite foods

I am really happy this has asked for my 10 favourite foods as I always find it really hard to just pck 1 or 2 of my favourite foods. My top 10 would be.....

1. Chocolate (Chokito, Picnic, violet crumble, Dream, marvelous creations, twirl)

2. Rice pudding (Chocolate or Vanilla)

3. Fresh Fruit (Peaches, Bananas, Apples, Berries, Watermelon, grapes)

4. Oats (Creamy vanilla & Honey)

5. Fresh Bread (In sandwhiches or buttered and dipped into soup)

6. Hot pudding (buterscotch, chocolate, sticky date, lemon) with vanilla icecream

7. Chicken Parmigiana

8. Nut Spreads ( Cashew spread, cruchy almond spread, sweet honey nut spread, peanut butter, hazelnut spread)

9. Pasta (Carbonara, bolognaise, lasagna, ravioli)

10. Homemade Pizza (I have mine with tomato paste, Mozerella cheese, capsicum, tomato, ham, onion)

Ok, so I know I have kind of cheated with this as I have listed more then 10 individual foods, but I just love food far too much too only piick 10 foods, so instead I have chosen 10 'types' of food ;)

Here are two of my meals from today that I really enjoyed...

Teaching children about healthy eating

While I think it is a fabulous idea to encourage children to eat healthily, I do not think that adults should tell children hat some foods are really bad.For example, my mum always says to my little sister when she eats chocolate or something like that "Amy you have to stop eating so much shit all the time." I hate it when mum says this to Amy as I do not want Amy to think that any type of food is 'shit'.

Perhaps mum has a point and Amy does not eat enough healthy foods but I do not think this is the correct way to tell a child about eating a balanced diet. I think it is important that children are taught about having a balanced diet. I do not think certain foods should be described as bad, or 'shit', but instead perhaps describes as sometimes foods, that need to be eaten along with lots of healthy and nutritious foods.

Sometimes I worry that healthy eating is stressed too much in schools and by parents these days and wonder if this could have anything to do with why eating disorders are becoming more common. In some schools, children are even taught how to count calories and read nutritional values on the backs of food packets and I definetely do not agree with this.

Children are extremely vulunerable and could easily become scared of 'unhealthy foods', if they are told that they are bad for them in the wrong way which Idefinetely do not think is healthy for a child. What is your opinion on this? Have any of you had similar experiences to the ones I have been talking about which you feel may have contributed to your eating disorder?

Buying recovery amounts of food on a budget

I find that besides paying my rent each week, I spend a lot more money on food than anything else. Since I have moved out of home, I have had to start shopping a bit smarter so that I can afford to buy all of the food that I need as well as pay all of the my other bills. Here are some ways that I have managed to spend less money on food.

1. I used to buy individual microwavable packets of vegetables so each time I had vegetables with a meal, the vegetables alone would cost be around $3. Now I buy a bag of peas, a bag of carrots some brocolli and pumpkin and I have enough vegetables to last me for a week or two.

2. I wait until foods go on 'special' or 'promotion' and then buy them then. For example Uncle Toby's Oats came on special for 3.99 (for a 12 pack) today so I bought 3 boxes. Hopefully they will last me until the oats come on special again. If I paid full price for the 3 boxes it would have been like $18 instead of $12.

3. I never throw out any food. I eat every slice of bread out of a loaf and if I dont think I will be able to use the whole loaf before it spoils I will put some in the freezer to defrost and use for toast if I ever need it. Ido the same with meat or even muffind/pudddings.

4. If something has reached it's best before date, often the food is still perfectly ok. If I have yoghurt or biscuits or something that has recently reached it's best before date, as long as it smells and tastes ok, I still eat it anyway. I would not do this if the date was a 'use by' date however 'best before' dates are only supposed to be used as a guide.

5. I always think ahead. If I don't think I will be able to eat all of a food before it spoil, I don't buy it. I hate throwing away foood as see it as a massive waste of money. In fact, I cant remember the last time I threw out any food at all. I always eat everything I cook and therefore never have any left overs.

6. I always wrap things up really well once I open them so that the food inside doesn't spoil. I get extremely annoyed when people leave packets open and the air gets to the food and makes it inedible. I also keep things in the fridge whenever I can as usually this prolongs the life of food.

7. Making foods from scratch is generally much cheaper than buying them in packets and food made from scratch is also much healthier too. This is something I know I still need to work on as I still eat foods from packets far too much as I find it much easier to track the calories in packet meals then when I make them myself.

8. I always take packed lunches to work or whenever I leave home. Not only does this mean that I know I am always reaching my calorie target, it also means that Ido not need to by lunch or snacks each day which is much more expensive. Occasionally it is good to eat out however if this challenges your eating disorder.

9. I find buying groceries much cheaper whilst I am following a meal plan as I only buy things that I know I eat each day and therfore nothing I buy is uneccesary or goes to waste. This also means that I very rarely buy something thaat I ddon't like as all I know that all of the things on my meal plan I enjoy.

10. Before I go shopping I try and write a shopping list and stick to it as best as I can. If I do spot something whilst I am at the supermarket that I do not need, I always ask myself, 'Do Ireally need this' and 'Do I already have something similar to this at home already.' If I don't need the item I generally put it back on the shelf.

I love food

I have always loved food, even when I was starving myself I still loved food. Most of the time I really look forward to all of my meals (as long as I am in control of what I am eating) and I am generally happy when it is meal time and I know that I can eat again. I did not feel this way when I was in hospital or when my parents were in control of what I ate however. In these instances I absolutely dreaded meal times and did not enjoy a single thing I ate. When I didn't let myself eat food, I tried to satisfy my love of food by cooking food for others, watching others eat and also watching television shows about cooking and eating food.

One of the reasons that I decided I would increase my intake to real recovery amounts was because I wanted to ensure that my metabolism repaired properly, so that I would be able to eat normal amounts of food in the future without continuing to gain weight. I am so thrilled that my metabolism is working efficiently again (although it is probably ruunning a little too fast at the moment) as I know that this means I will be able to enjoy lots of delicous foods in the future without having to worry about unwanted weight gain. I believe that this will allow me to stay happy and healthy and live an eating disorder free life in the future.

I highly reccommend eating large amounts in recovery for everyone, but especially for those who love food like I do and those who want to be able to eat lots of lovely foods in the future without gaining lots of unwanted weight. Also, for someone who loves food, eating large amounts in recovery can actually be quite fun (if you can try and block out what your anorexia is trying to tell you). Here are two delicious meals I ate tonight. I can honestly say that I enjoyed every single bite of each meal which is something I never thought I would be able to do again in my life, when I was really sick.

 Beef canneolli, corn on the cob, broccoli, peas and carrots

Hot lemon pudding with vanilla icecream

So if you anorexia is still stopping you from enjoying food, don't let this worry you as one day it will eventually get easier and you will be able to truly enjoy food again one day. All you need to do is keep believing in yourself and keep fighting for recovery. If you push yourself trough every meal, whether you enjoy it or not now, eventually you will truly be able to enjoy eating again. Trust me, it will happen (as long as you keep eating!) :) x

Good Morning (picture post)

breakfast <3

Walking on the beach

Feeling happy and positive

my skin still isnt great, but its getting a lot better :)

Ready for work

Morning tea