Helping others recover

Without a doubt, the thing I love most about having a blog is getting the chance to help others suffering from Anorexia. Ever since developing anorexia, I have been horrified by the lack of professional support there is out there for people suffering from anorexia. I think the main problem is that such little is known about anorexia and other eating disorders, that many doctors simply do not know how to help sufferers. 

When I went to hospital, the staff got me to gain weight but did not help me with my actual anorexia at all. The only reason I ate was because the staff basically threatened my anorexia with more calories if I refused. The 6 weeks I spent in hospital therefore served as my planning time for how I would lose the weight again, when I got out of hospital, which is exactly what I did. 

Ever since I have tried to get help from psychiatrists, psychologists and other 'specialists' but none of them have been able to help me at all. None if them could offer recovery advice or even give me any kind of hope that recovery was even possible. I honestly felt as though I was much more knowledgable about eating disorders then the people who I have been reffered to, so decided I was wasting my time by seeing them.

One psychiatrist even told me there was no point in going to see her, if I wasn't 'willing to try.' The problem was never that I was unwilling to try, but more that I had no idea how. People were telling me that I needed to get better, but they werent offering me any advice at all about how I actually could do that. 

So ever since getting sick, I have felt very unsupported and this has only made me want to help other sufferers who are going through what I have been through and who have felt the complete desperation I have felt. While I hoped I could help others through my blog, I had no idea just how much I would be able to help others. 

Since starting to blog, I have gotten comments like;

'Thank you, thank you! I wouldn't/couldn't be doing this without you!'

'Karly you have no idea how much easier recovery has been for me since I found your blog. Your posts and your emails have been a life saver, really.'

'This post has been so helpful, Thank you :)'

'You are such an inspiration for everyone recovering......If you can do it, I can do it.'

'Thankyou so much Karly'

'You continue to inspire and motivate me everyday'

You will never know just what these types of comments mean to me. I feel like crying everytime I read something like this as I feel ao overwhelmingly happy that I am making a positive difference to peoples lives. Comments like these have now become my main motivation for my own recovery, as I have realised that people are relying on the strength and determination I demonstrate in my own recovery, to help them in theirs.

Everytime I feel as though things are too hard, I think of these kinds of comments and remember that I cant give up. I need to keep recovering and fighting, not only for myself but also for all of the people out there who believe in me. I feel as though my blog has given my life more purpose and that is only thanks to all of the wonderful people who read it, so thank you. You all say that I help you in your recoveries but you help me too, more then you will ever know.

Thank you

I want to take this opportunity to thank all of the people out there who read my blog. While I would still blog, no matter how many page views I got each day, it is still really nice to see that quite a few people enjoy reading what I write, as I put a lot of time and effort into my posts.  I feel as though my blog has given me more of a purpose in life, which is thanks to all of you.


I would like to say an extra big thank yo to all of those people who leave beautiful and supportive comments on my posts. You will never know just how much it means to me when you say that I am helping you to fight and recover, but you should know that this goes both ways. While my posts or emails may be helping you to recover, your support and beautiful comments are also helping me to recover.




I can not describe how amazing it is to have people there who truly understand what I am going through, to help me through my battles. The fact is, I know that I would not be where I am today in my recovery if it wasnt for you all. Your inspiration and motivation has got me through so much, which has shown me that I am strong enough to fight and recover. It means so much to have so many people believing in me, even at times when I dont necessarily believe in myself.

So thank you again, for everything! <3 xx

I'm back

I was very excited this morning when I woke up feeling like my old positive and happy self again! It is sunday, which means the day to weigh myself but I felt fine about stepping on the scales. I have gained anouther 600g over the past 4 days, even whilst I have been struggling which I think makes my weight gain an even bigger achievement. It shows me that even though my anorexia was strong, I was stronger. And if I can manage to fight my anorexia like this and win once, there is no reason why I cant do it every single time things are extra difficult.

It is exactly 1 month since I started gaining weight and I am excited to tell you all that I am now 3 kg heavier (Which is about 6lb 10oz for anyone who does not use metric units). This now gives me a bmi of 17.2 which I know is a massive improvement from my lowest bmi which was about 14.5. I am getting closer and closer to being weight restored and therefore getting closer and closer to recovering too. Luckily my excitement about living a life completely free of anorexia in the future has now returned which is motivating me once again in my recovery. 

Over the last few days I have been feeling guilty for posting such depressing and unmotivating posts. I considered not sharing my true thoughts with you all but I am really glad I did. I can see now, as I read through all of your beautiful and supportive comments, that you dont expect me to be perfectly happy and positive all the time and I shouldn't expect this of myself either. Most of you all know just how hard recovery is and I know you wouldnt expect me to be really good all the time. If it was me reading someone elses blog, I know I would want them them to feel as though they could be truly honest about how they were feeling, so I think I owe it to myself to be able to do the same. 

I honestly cant thank you enough for all of your support though. I honestly dont feel as though I would have made it through this hard patch quite as well if it wasnt for each and everyone of you who read my blog and remind me every day of how strong I can be. It is times like these, when you are feeling weak and vulunerable that you need people by your side to remind you of all the things you are unable to remind yourself of when your anorexia is strong. If it wasnt for you all, I would have been completely alone. I also find being able to talk to people who truly understand what I am going through makes everything so much easier too, as I dont feel as though I will be judged for what I say, so thanks again.

Please let me know if you would like to see some progress shots of how my body has changed. I wouldnt want to do it if individuals will find iy titggering, but otherwise I would like to try and get some pictures together.

I hope that everyone wakes up feeling just as positive this morning as I have. :) 

Day 16: List 5 things you are greatful for

1. The wonderful relationship I have with my dad

Throughout my entire life my dad has been the one person who I could always rely on. Even when I got really sick he never stopped believing in me and supporting me. He helped me more than anyone could, not by yelling or telling me to eat, but my letting me know he loved me every single day. I honestly dont know where I would be without my dad. I dont know what I did to deserve such a wonderful man as my dad but for this I will always be incredibly grateful.

2. Our online blogging community

I am so grateful for the recovery community that I am a part of. Before I started reading recovery blogs, I felt completely alone and felt as though recovery was impossible. Reading recovery blogs has shown me that recovery is possible however and has offered me so much helpful advice about how to actually get better. So I am grateful for every person who is a part of our online recovery community. To other blog authors, to the people who read my blog and to those who leave motivational comments. I am so grateful for each and every one of you as you make me feel like I am a part of something truly wonderful and something worth fighting for.

3. That I realised I needed to change before it was too late

I am very grateful for the moment I actually realised I would die if I didnt change the way I was living. I was laying in bed, completely exhausted after a day of exercising and eating very little. I was frozen, despite the fact that I had my electric blanket on high but didnt have the energy to go and put another layer of clothes on. For some reason I suddenly wondered what my heart rate would be. I lifted two of my fingers to my neck and started the timer on my phone. My heart rate was only 30 beats per minute. I suddenly felt terrified as I knew my heart rate was way too low. As I fell asleep that night, I made a promise to myself that if I actually woke up the next morning, I would try to change.

4. For living in such a safe and fortunate country

If you think about it, the circumstances you are born into is purely based on luck. I could have been born into an african family who were incredibely poor, without even having enough food to keep me alive. Just as I could have been born as a member of a family living in israel or Iraq, where I would be put in dangerous life threatening situations every single day. I feel very grateful to be an Australian as I have never had to worry about extreme poverty or living within war zones. I know that I need to recover so that I make the most of this wonderful life I have been given.

5. The fact that I can now eat delicious foods

I know it sounds stupid but after denying myself of eating for so long, I feel very grateful for now being able to eat nice foods again. I didnt realise just how much I loved food until I stopped eating it. When I was really sick, I accepted the fact that I would never be able to eat nice foods again, but now I am eating them every single day and for this I am very grateful.

My dessert tonight: chocolate self saucing pudding with vanilla icecream

Rainy day, missing comments and Thank-you

It is raining at the moment so I wont be taking Tess for a walk this morning if it doesnt stop. If I am completely honest I do feel a little bit anxious about not going for a walk with her this morning but I havent let this stop me from doing the right thing for me and my recovery. As I was making myself breakfast this morning, thoughts popped into my head telling me that I didnt need to eat as much because as I wouldnt be going for a walk this morning. Fortunately I was strong enough to push these thoughts aside and made myself my usual breakfast (with some extra peanut butter, just to annoy my anorexia even more ;)).

So while I was anxious at first about the thought of not being able to go for a walk, in a way I am kind of feeling grateful for the rain now. This morning the rain has given me an extra chance to fight my anorexia, bringing me that little bit closer to recovery. If I cant go for a walk today, I will not let myself compensate in any way as I promised I would not listen to my anorexia anymore and compensating would be doing just that. I know it will be hard to do this, infact it would be easier just to give in, but sometimes the hardest path in life is the right path and this is one of those times.

If anyone has noticed anything weird going on with my comments it is because I accidently deleted by latest 50 comments last night. I was so devastated as it means so much to me when you all comment on my posts so I have tried my best to fix it. I have spent quite a few hours since then going back through the notifications I recieve via email whenever a comment is published on my blog and have manually re entered each of them onto my blog. This was obviously quite difficult and I could have quite easily missed some of them so if you notice any of our conversations have disappeared please let me know so I can find them in my mailbox and repost them. :)

I also want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for all of your support. As I was reading through all my comments it made me realise just how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people by my side as I try and recover. My blog just wouldnt be the same without all of you and you all mean a great deal to me. I Really cant thank you enough.

Have a great day everyone. Be strong and keep fighting.
<3