Showing posts with label reasons to recover. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reasons to recover. Show all posts

Saturday, 11 January 2020

Pregnancy body transformation


I feel like my belly is getting bigger everyday! I find it a little harder to accept weight gain to other parts of my body like my bum and thighs but I know it is inevitable to a certain thing and it just shows that I am nourishing my bubba the way I should be. His health is all I care about <3

Monday, 18 July 2016

An incredible weekend

It's currently Monday morning and my gorgeous boyfriend has just headed of to work after us having a wonderful weekend away together. We drove down to Swansea late Friday after Nathan finished work and I finished university. We stopped on the way to get some Subway for tea which was yummy as always. Nathan wasn't feeling so hungry so only got a small 6 inch sub however I couldn't resist indulging in a large footlong sub.

We arrived at my parents place at about 8 pm and it was really nice to catch up with everyone. Both of my brothers and my sister were home as well as my parents which was nice. We were planning on having a sleep in on Saturday morning however we both woke up early so just got up and started our day. We just hung out with family until lunch time and then we headed into Swansea to watch the football. Both of my brothers play for our local football club as well as many of my cousins and friends so Nathan and I always enjoy watching it together.

After the football we headed into the club rooms to have a few drinks with everyone before we went to the pub for some tea. I had a delicious lasagna with salad and I ate it all and enjoyed every bite! We could only stay for a short while at the pub as we were heading to the annual football club ball. We walked to my nans house to get changed into our good clothes and get ready. It only took me about 15 minutes to get ready as I really am not the sort of person who spends hours and hours getting ready to go out but I was still happy with how I looked and was looking forward to the night.

We had a truly amazing time at the ball with some incredible people and it was definetely a night to remember. Admittedly I probably drank too much but I really enjoyed myself which is the most important thing. My favourite part of the night was definetely dancing with Nathan as well as my brothers and friends. I have always been the type of person who was far too self conscious to dance however I have no trouble getting up on the dance floor after a couple of drinks and really enjoy it! We went home at about 12:30 when the ball ended and just went to bed.

The next day I was feeling fine as fortunately I dont really get hangovers however poor Nathan wasn't so lucky. Unfortunately Nathan gets very sick after drinking alcohol so we just had a very quiet morning. It was my mums birthday so it was lovely to be there too see her in person and give her a present which she loved. We all went out for lunch to celebrate mums birthday before Nathan and I headed home. Luckily Nathan felt well enough to eat a little lunch and he continued to feel better through out the afternoon which I was glad about as I hate seeing him feeling so unwell.

Surprisingly, I wasnt sad at all about leaving my family in Swansea again, even though I dont know when I will see them again. I am so happy living in Launceston with Nathan and wouldn't change anything about my life. No one has ever made me as happy as Nathan does and the love I feel towards him is something I have never experienced before, even with family. I am loving my university units so far and am enjoying studing again and having more routine in my day.

I love feeling so full of energy and well now that I am doing Herbalife and eating more nutritious foods (although admittedly I did neglect this over the weekend). I have full intentions of resuming my new eating this week though as well as going to the gym when I can. ( I might evenpost a food diary atthe end oftheday today so you get an idea of what types of foods I am fuelling my body with.

I hope everyone else had a great weekend and you are all pumped and ready for the week ahead! :) x

Monday, 28 March 2016

With the one who makes me happy

Its 5:20am and im laying in my new bed in my new room unable to sleep. After an incredibly long and tiring day yesterday filled with packing, cleaning, moving and driving, I slept really well for the first half of the night. However now I am feeling wide awake and sleep feels like an very far off thing. So I thought I may as well use this time to write a quick post and update you all on how things are going.

 I If I have learnt anything through being sick, its that life is way too short to spend time unhappy of you dont need to be. To me, being happy is more important then having any particular type of career or heaps of money. That is why, after leaving my job and home behind in Swansea, and even my family and friends, I dont feel any regrets. Because now I can spend more time with the guy that I love and who makes me happier then anyone else makes me.

I have decided to apply to university in a Bachelor if Health science at university as that is available with mid year entry and I can already see that the course is well suited to me. I like the sound of all the units and am looking forward to once again studying these subjects that I am so passionate about and interested in. Last time I was at university, I wasnt in a good headspace at all. My anxiety was at an all time high (although I refused to take medication for it) and I was very underweight. This time I feel ready to get back into uni and im sure with the support of my wonderful boyfriend, I will be fine.

Wednesday, 27 January 2016

An overdue update

For so long I kept telling myself that I had to keep fighting my anorexia if I ever wanted to be happy and healthy. I hoped with all my heart that one day all the pain and hard work would pay off but I didnt really know for sure that it actually would be. I can now say, completely honestly and whole heartedly that recovery definetely is worth it!

At this time, for the first time in as long as I can remember, my life is simply amazing. Every day I wake up and cant help but think about just how lucky I am to be where I now am. I have the most amazing boyfriend I could have ever dreamt of having. Not only does he make me feel special and loved every single day, but he is also helping me to respect and appreciate myself, for who I truly am.

I know that if I had not recovered from my eating disorder, I never would have found Nathan and been able to make our relationship work. Although Nathan would be the most wonderful thing that has come out of my recovery, there are many other things that are great about being recovered too.

This year was the best christmas I have had for a very long time and I know that this was only the case because I have recovered. I didnt spend the day worrying about what I could or couldnt eat. I just enjoyed myself and made the most of spending time with my boyfriend and with my family. And I enjoyed eating yummy christmas foods too. For the first time in years I ate as much chocolate, ham, pavlova and sweets as I wanted and my anxiety was basically non existent.

Dont get me wrong. Occasionally I still get an old anorexic like thought or concern about my weight or something I have eaten. However I suppose the difference now is that I am strong enough and healthy enough to ignore these thoughts and to continie to truly love my life. I know I now have way too much to lose by moving back to where I used to be. Simply nothing good can come out of me listening to anorexic thoughts  however I know that  so much good can come out of me ignoring them.

I am sorry it has been so long since I last posted. I have been meaning to post for a while now, to let you all know that I am happy and healthy but life has just been so busy and it really has been hard to find the time. I hope that you too are continuing to gight on your recovery journeys and i promise you all that no matter how hard it may seem at times, it really is worth it!

My boyfriend and I at the Christmas parade

Amys primary school graduation dinner


Still love walking with Tess

I like this photo as I just look so happy 

I finally feel comfortable with my body

My cruise was a blast




Monday, 7 September 2015

Super excited

I have some really exciting news! In the first week of Decemer I am going on a week long cruise in tropical queensland (Australia). We only came up with the idea yesterday afternoon but luckily everything has fallen into place so we booked in tonight. None of us have ever been on a cruise before so we are all incredibely excited.

The cruise ship sounds truly amazing. It has all you can eat catering included in the fare, pools, spas, a casino, night clubs, gyms, a cinema, live shows, and heaps of other entertainment as well. We couldn't believe how cheap it is too. We also have to buy air fares up to Brisbane where the ship departs from but other then that basically everything is included in the fare.



We will also have a chance to explore some tropical islands, swim at some gorgeous beaches, snorkel and also explore Cairns which is a city in northern Queensland.
We were so lucky as we were all able to get time off work and university as otherwise we wouldnt have been able to go. We didn't want to wait too long before booking as we thought that we may miss out if we did, so we agreed it would be better to book straight away. 

I am so excited, the next two months really couldn't go fast enough!

Saturday, 25 July 2015

Understanding Recovery

Recovery is different for everyone

Recovery from an eating disorder involves overcoming physical, mental and emotional barriers in order to restore normal eating habits, thoughts and behaviours. It is important to acknowledge that recovery is different for everyone.
For many people, recovery from an eating disorder signifies an end to eating disorder attitudes and behaviours and the development of a healthier physical and psychological state of being. This can include returning to social activities, discovering a sense of purpose and integrating back into daily life.
There is no set time for recovery and it is not uncommon for the process to slow down, come to a halt completely or encounter relapses. The pace of each person’s recovery will depend on the Person-Centred treatments and the support they receive.
While this may seem frustrating, it can help to remember that with recovery as the ultimate goal, even the setbacks can be a valuable part of the journey. With the appropriate treatment and a high level of personal commitment, recovery from an eating disorder is achievable.
Evidence also shows that the sooner you start treatment for an eating disorder, the shorter the recovery process will be.

Tips to support a healthy recovery

Focusing on the process of recovery may be a helpful technique to employ, since the end goal of recovery can often seem stressful or unattainable. Many people who have recovered from eating disorders have identified the following themes, which have helped them manage and learn from the recovery process:
  • Support – Feeling supported by those around you will help your treatment and recovery. A circle of support will also decrease the isolation often experienced by people with eating disorders
  • Hope and motivation – Having a strong sense of hope coupled with the motivation to change eating disorder behaviours is the foundation of recovery
  • Healthy self-esteem – Remembering that you are worthwhile will remind you that recovery is worthwhile too
  • Understanding and expressing your emotions – It is normal for a person with an eating disorder to feel a range of emotions and it is helpful to acknowledge and express feelings
  • Acknowledging set-backs – With the focus on recovery, even taking a step backwards can still be making progress
  • Coping strategies – Developing a list of coping strategies that calm you down and help you regulate your emotions can help you during stressful or triggering situations
  • Engaging in activities and interests – Revisiting the things you enjoyed before the development of your eating disorder will build self-esteem and reconnect you with the world around you. For example, if you used to enjoy drawing, taking a pencil and pad to your favourite place can be a helpful and enjoyable experience

To find help in your local area search for support organisations  or for more information on recovery contact the ED HOPE support line.

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Food is our medicine

I know I have talked about this on my blog before but I think that it is an incredibely important message to get out there as realilsing it really is esseential to recovery, so I am going to talk about it again. In the years I spent losing weight and also mantaining my weight, people tried to tell me that food was my medicine and that through eating, would come recovery but I didn't believe them. I could not see how eating food would change the way I felt towards my weight and food and I was convinced that I would never be able too eat proper recovery amounts.

I just couldn't see how gaining weight would make any difference to what was going on inside my head and gaining weght just seemed far to difficult.  The best decision I ever made was when I committed fully to my recovery and decided to give eating real recovery amounts a go. Since then I have been able to develop a whole new attitude towards recovery.

Through giving my body the energy it needs through food, my mind has started to repair which means that I can think a lot more clearly and can fight my anorexia much more successfully. Now I have the ability to think for rationally and clearly and I know that this is only because my brain is repairing.

I know how scary the prospect of increasing your intake to a proper recoevry amount may seem, but unfortunateely the only way you can overcome this fear is by doing it. Try not to think about the weight gain or any of the other things that eating more may bring. Just think about the fact that food is your medicine and that you WILL NOT be able to successfully recover unless you increases your intake to proper recovery amounts.

Please trust me when I say that the weight gain really does get easier as it continues as your mind is also getting better from the extra food and you can therefore handle it more than you would have otherwise. Some people regain their weight while eating lower amounts (i.e. 2000 calories) and I honestly think that the weight gan would be a lot harder for them, as their minds are not repairing at the same time so their anorexic thoughts are still as strong as ever.

Through repairing your mind with food, you are able to better accept your body and learn to accept it the way it is supposed to be. Ihave gained 10 kg throughout my recovery so far and I can honestly say that I like my body just as much now as I did when I was 10kg lighter. I think that this is because as my mind repairs (due to eating the extra food) my body dismorphia has also improved so I am starting to see my body more accutrately.

Also whenever I do feel self conscious about my body, the non anorexic part of my mind is strong enough to tell me that there is nothing wrong wrong with my body and that they are only anorexic thoughts I was having. Eating recovery amounts does not only let your mind repair but the rest of your body too.

Your heart and other organs are all damaged whilst you are starving yourself and the only way they can repair themselves is if they have the energy neccessary to do so. The body truly is a wonderful thing if you think about it. The way that it is able to undo a lot of the damage we have done to it is truly remarkable so I think the least we can do is provide our bodies with the energy they need in order to do this.

The Food Intake Guidelines

Here are the guidelines for when 2500 calories applies as a minimum daily intake for recovery:

  1. You are a 25+ year old female between 5’0” and 5’8” (152.4 to 173 cm) and,
  2. The regular menstrual cycle has stopped and/or,
  3. You have other symptoms of starvation: feeling the cold, fatigued, foggy headed, hair loss, brittle nails, dull skin and/or,
  4. Even if you were only underweight/dieted for a very short space of time (a few months) these guidelines apply. And remember “underweight” is relative to your body’s optimal weight and is not a clinical measurement.

Here are the guidelines for when 3000 calories applies as a minimum daily intake for recovery:

  1. You are an under 25 year old female between 5’0” and 5’8” (152.4 to 173 cm) or an over 25 year old male between 5’4” and 6’0” (162.5 and 183 cm) and,
  2. The regular menstrual cycle has stopped and/or,
  3. You have other symptoms of starvation: feeling the cold, fatigued, foggy headed, hair loss, brittle nails, dull skin and/or,
  4. Even if you were only underweight/dieted for a very short space of time (a few months) these guidelines apply. And remember “underweight” is relative to your body’s optimal weight and is not a clinical measurement.

Here are the guidelines for when 3500 calories applies as a minimum daily intake for recovery:

  1. You are an under 25 year old male between 5’4” and 6’0” (162.5 and 183 cm) or female with young children or an equivalent and unavoidable level of activity.
  2. The regular menstrual cycle has stopped and/or,
  3. You have other symptoms of starvation: feeling the cold, fatigued, foggy headed, hair loss, brittle nails, dull skin and/or,
  4. Even if you were only underweight/dieted for a very short space of time (a few months) these guidelines apply. And remember “underweight” is relative to your body’s optimal weight and is not a clinical measurement.
If you are taller than the guidelines listed above, then add 200 calories to the guidelines that match your age and sex. If you are shorter than the guidelines listed above, then you may eat 200 calories less than what is suggested for your age and sex, however these are all minimum guidelines and everyone is expected to eat well above them for a good portion of the recovery process in any case. Please see this this blog post for more details: Extreme Hunger I: What Is It?

*REMEMBER THESE ARE MINIMUM GUIDELINES, YOU MAY NEED TO EAT MORE IF YOU STILL FAIL TO GAIN WEIGHT EATING THESE AMOUNTS!
 

Friday, 29 May 2015

Day 26: What would you say to to someone if they told you 'I give up on recovery. Its too hard.'?

I guess I would tell them something like this;

"I know it seems too hard and I know it seems impossible but I promise you that its not. I felt exactly the same way that you do not that long ago but look at me now, I am making progress every single day and getting closer to recovering and this is all because I never gave up. I'm not going to lie to you, recovery is incredibely hard but it does get easier. No matter how painful recovery seems, know that actually being recovered will be worth all of this pain. 

Try to focus on how wonderful your life will be if you are able to recover and be truly free of your eating disorder. By giving up on your recovery, you are also giving up on ever having a life. Even if your illness doesnt kill you right away, you will not truly be living, you will only be existing. You deserve so much more then to just exist. You deserve to be happy and healthy and to be given the chance to make all of your dreams come true.

Please believe me when I say you are strong enough to do this, all you need to do is believe in yourself."






Thursday, 28 May 2015

My favourite meal: dessert!

Tonight I made some lemon sponge puddings to have over the next week or so with vanilla icecream for dessert. Since I dont seem to have much time for baking, I usually just make packet mixes of desserts and cakes. I know it is cheating but they still taste really good which is the most important thing.


I find cooking the pudding mix in 4 separate mini pudding dishes is the best way for me to cook dessert for myself as it is mess free and also stops me feeling any anxiety about having to dish up a portion each night from one large pudding. This way I know I am always eating a substantial serving and it just allows me to enjoy what I eat without any extra anxiety.




When ever I am ready for dessert, all I have to do is get one of my mini puddings out of the fridge (or freezer), zap it in the microwave and pop some icecream on top. Other pudding I like are chocolate self saucing pudding or golden syrup pudding. Of course I also love my mini apple pies heated up and served with icecream. I also have some pre-made puddings that I bought incase I ever run out of desserts and dont have to time to cook.









Just being able to eat dessert is a huge achievement for me but to be able to say it is one of my favourite meals is even better. When I was sick I didnt think I would be able to eat dessert ever again but look at me now. Being able to eat and enjoy these types of delicious foods is just one of the many reasons I am so glad to be in recovery.

Thursday, 14 May 2015

day 11: What motivated you to enter recovery?

I feel as though I have allready spoken a lot about who and what has motivated me to recover so I will just list my main motivators and give a single sentence or two explaing why they have been motivational to me to enter recovery. I will also provide the link to the posts that I have already written which are relevant.
I was tired of hurting the people I love like my dad and my sister and couldnt bare to continue hurting them. I wanted to recover to pro e to them just how much I loved them. You can read more about this in the following posts;

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com.au/2015/05/day-4-have-you-emotionally-harmed.html

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com.au/2015/05/hello-im-karlys-sister-amy-and-i-wanted.html

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com/2015/05/saturday-update-todays-meals.html

Reading posts from people who had successfully recovered made me realise that recovery was possible and reading posts from people who were still trying to recover, motivated me to be brave enough to start recovering myself. You can read more about these motivators in the following posts;

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com.au/2015/05/day-9-who-do-you-look-up-to-why.html

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com.au/2015/04/waking-up-feeling-positive-and-motivated.html

I knew exactely how hard it was to try to fight an eating disorder and wanted to try and help others trying to do the same. I knew that I could only help others if I helped myself first. You can read more about this motivator in the following posts;

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com.au/2015/05/what-blogging-means-to-me.html

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com.au/2015/05/day-7-what-are-two-things-you-want-what.html

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com.au/2015/05/day-5-how-do-you-want-to-be-remembered.html


Deciding that I wanted to truly live my life and not just survive was a big motivator for me to start recovery as well. Eventually I realised that I did deserve to recover and live a healthy and happy life.You can read more about this motivator in the following posts;
http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com/2015/05/day-7-what-are-two-things-you-want-what.html

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com/2015/05/dealing-with-weight-gain.html

I wanted to start looking after my body and start treating it with the respect it deserved. I also dreamt of having children and a husband one day and knew that this would only happen if I recovered. You can read more about this motivator in the following posts;

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com.au/2015/04/food-is-my-medicine.html

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com.au/2015/05/day-7-what-are-two-things-you-want-what.html

http://fighting-anorexia.blogspot.com.au/2015/05/while-recovering-you-cant-eat-like.html