Friday, 23 December 2016

Not being the skinniest anymore (article)

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hunger-artist/201306/not-being-the-thinnest-any-more-how-adjust

 When you’re recovering from anorexia, it’s one of the most frightening things in the world to realise that you’re no longer the thinnest person in the room. And for it suddenly to be true not just once, but usually. After years of starving yourself, followed by months of regaining the weight you lost in anorexia, there comes a point where you realise that your body no longer looks anorexic: your bones aren’t visible as they used to be, you don’t look brittle enough to break in two, your muscles aren’t wasted away right down to the bone, your face isn’t any longer remarkable mainly for the hollows round the eyes or the concave lines where your cheeks try to connect up with your chin. Maybe you loved those things, or thought you did; maybe you knew you hated them, but you loved and needed what they represented: the illusions of control, strength, and purity that felt so special and precious to you. In any case, when you decided to get better, you decided to obliterate them: to let a protective layer of fat cover your bones and organs again, to let the muscles rebuild themselves, to become again someone that people—and you yourself, in the mirror—can see not as just a sick person but as a person with other, more interesting and less saddening qualities.
But having decided to let, and make, these changes happen doesn’t mean you’ll find it easy when they do, so I thought I’d offer a few thoughts about how to make it a little bit easier. My thoughts split into two strands: the strand that says be gentle and patient with yourself, and the strand that says simply stick rigidly to your plan (i.e. keep eating). They can require somewhat different attitudes, but they come together in the importance of just waiting it out, and waiting for it to be better.
I’ll begin with a diary entry from Christmas Day of 2008, which was a day I remember vividly as one when my new body (I’d been eating more since mid-July, and I weighed about 52 kg, with a BMI of about 18.5) felt very alien to me. The things I wrote then bring together some of what I want to talk about now.
Thursday 25th December 2008, 11:56 pm
Difficult. Lovely food, & I’ve eaten too much—i.e. the right amount, a good amount for Christmas; but the aftermath—or rather, the lull between dinner proper & the leftovers I ate more ravenously & uncontrollably—was difficult, & D [who would soon become my boyfriend] had to help me through it. Or rather, he didn’t have to—but he was able to; & I feel calmer & better for his having rung & texted. I was captivated by one of the awful Corfu photos of me & Sue [my mother], comparing it with those taken on North Sands this morning. I looked deathlike then I know; but can’t help staring, & longing with a great insidious part of myself to be her again. That other sexless joyless creature. D was shocked—had tears in his eyes, he said, when he saw it; a concentration-camp survivor; someone he’d never dare touch—nor one, I said, who would want to be touched by him. I feel again I’ve burdened him with my past; but it’s felt real today, the fear, as I see my fat puffy face in photos where my bones used to give it definition. But he says he likes curves not angles. And Tom [my father] has given me a beautiful dress—yet another long sleeveless thing, wine-coloured silk […]; & I could try on the dress & parade around in it without embarrassment about my arms [being too thin]—even if the photos I thought appalling.
The first thing to be aware of is that everyone in recovery has moments, even whole days, when they feel disgusted by their new, bigger body and long for their former smaller one, when however often they recite all the good reasons for regaining weight, and all the things that this process is and represents besides gaining fat, none of it has any force against the sheer overwhelming feeling of being fat, ungainly, in the wrong body. Sometimes, the only thing to do is cling on to those mantras you should have developed for yourself—all the reasons why anorexia made life intolerable, and all the physical and thereby psychological restoration that the higher numbers on the scales or the tape measure represent—and to wait for the awfulness to pass, which it will, as everything does.
Five months into recovery
Source: Emily T. Troscianko
That’s for the worst times. For the rest, and to pre-empt those, a few other thoughts might help. Perhaps most importantly of all, be patient. This all takes time. The early stages of rehydration and restoration of fat deposits may be uneven. You may have a slightly bloated looking face, as I do in this photo, which in my diary I called ‘fat’ and ‘puffy’, and which now looks terribly terribly tired—illness was exhausting, and recovery was even more so—but with a light of hopefulness in the eyes. Fat may also be deposited preferentially around your middle to begin with, to help protect vital organs. This is perfectly normal, and with time everything will even out, as long as you continue to be strict with yourself, and eat as planned. Remember that the body dysmorphia that often goes with anorexia—hich seems to manifest itself not just in explicit body representations and perceptions but also in automatic motor behaviours (Keizer et al. 2013)—won’t instantly be cured. But it will, with time, and consistent eating and consistent efforts to address its explicit aspects.
At an explicit level, articulated aesthetic ideals will take time to shift from their anorexic incarnations (staring enviously at catwalk models’ upper arms or whatever) to the acknowledgement of beauty in different, healthier kinds of bodies. While your articulated values still lag behind how your body looks, there’ll be all the discomfort of cognitive dissonance as you work towards a kind of body that you’ve spent so long finding reasons to reject—but it’s very important not to attempt to reduce that dissonance by eating less again, and instead to work on reducing it by seeking out and acknowledging alternative, more real, forms of beauty in people whose bodies support rich and varied lives rather than crippling them.

The more you can be patient, and take the long view, the more you’ll be rewarded in the end. My body four years ago, at (or just over) a healthy weight, was nothing like how it is today; part of this is due to the barbell training, but much of it is just time: time for fluid and fat to be redistributed, time for muscles and tendons to grow and be used and further strengthened, time for you to learn how to be at ease in your body and to get to know what it can do and what it can’t (yet). Nothing stays quite the same, ever, whether we want it to or not, but in the years following the restoration of a healthy bodyweight after anorexia, this constant mutability can be a source of delight, manifesting the human body’s miraculous ability to restore itself from the lowest point of deprivation. This depends, again, on bravery and strictness in resisting the urge to restrict and lose weight again because everything isn’t instantly how you’d like it to be. Give your body time, but also give it the best possible chance.
And it sounds awfully clich├ęd, but try not to fight against how your body is changing; embrace the changes. This is a mental attitude, but it’s one (like all mental states, indeed) that can be nurtured through specific actions. For example, don’t keep trying to wear all the same kinds of clothes you used to when you were ill; lots of them won’t suit you any more (though some may now look much better on you), and clinging to the old styles won’t help you move away from your anorexic body. Enjoy, ideally with other people, the journey of finding out what works for you now, but don’t expect everything to. Another thing that applies specifically to women, and which I found easy to embrace but which for others can be very difficult, is the newly feminine quality of your body, and – as noted in the diary entry – its now potentially sexual character. This was something that I’d completely failed to think about before I began to eat again, so consumed was I by worries about my tummy getting bigger, but the fact that I now began to have breasts again was actually quite a delight. Getting hips again was more difficult, but seeing that side of myself come back into being, and seeing others’ reactions change accordingly, made leaving skeletal behind much easier.
Stopping fighting your body by feeding its appetites again should go hand in hand with a willingness to be kind to it and to relearn how to listen to it. Obvious ways of doing this are things like massage, which can feel wonderful when your body is in the midst of such profound structural change. Slightly further along the line, yoga as part of outpatient treatment for adolescents with eating disorders seems to have beneficial effects on ED symptoms including preoccupation with food and anxiety and depression, with no negative effect on BMI (Carei et al. 2010). I’ve recently taken up yoga again—the last time I tried it I was still very ill—and it’s lovely to feel how it instantly attunes me more delicately to the capacities and limitations, in strength and flexibility, of all the parts of my body, and how it gives a calm context in which to stretch myself, literally and figuratively. Later still, strength training can have similar benefits, along with the added one of making you significantly stronger, with all its attendant benefits for cardiovascular health, bone and joint health, and metabolism. For women, post-anorexic or not, I think that getting physically strong can be a very potent way of declining to buy into anti-feminist equations of thinness (and hence weakness) with beauty, and for men recovering from anorexia, getting strong can be a way of reasserting your masculinity in the way that weight gain more generally naturally re-emphasises femininity. It shouldn’t be done too soon (maybe not till your bodyweight is healthy or close to healthy), and should be done with supervision, but for me, barbell training was a crucial factor in coming to understand, not just in the abstract but through the whole of me, that regaining weight was not just getting fatter, but was a fully constructive process of creating a newly beautiful, capable, dependable body for myself.

Remember that just as you have to contemplate constructing a character for yourself after anorexia, you have to construct a body for yourself too, one that will be what you need it to be for the adventure of being more fully alive in the years to come. Neither your character nor your body can be created from a blank slate, and especially after the control obsessions of anorexia, waiting and seeing what happens can be as empowering an attitude as taking things into your own hands, but the possibilities for what you can now let and help your body become, now it’s no longer trapped in the dangerous tedium of being skeletal and weak, are exhilarating. Enjoy them, with that mixture of strictness and openness which above all says: there’s time.
My thanks to the reader whose question prompted this post

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

Why do I do Hebalife?

I get lots of people criticizing me for doing Herbalife. People have even accused me of being a part of a colt and have questioned whether it is healthy for me to follow a nutrition program at all, especially post anorexia. I don't blame these people one little bit as I know its just because they don't understand what Herbalife actually is and they have not had the privilege of experiencing our incredible and uplifting community. This is a post I wrote and posted to our Local Nutrition Hub this morning and I thought I would share it with you all too. I am not quite brave enough to share it with all of my family and friends yet on my facebook wall, as I still worry that they wont fully understand, but one day I would like to share my true Herbalife results with everyone and hopefully inspire everyone to do something that allows them to accept themselves as I am now able to do!

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For a while now I have been wanting to share my 'true' Herbalife results with others, but I haven't been quite brave enough to do that. Today however I am going to take the first step and share my results with all of you wonderful people.
Before Herbalife (bottom left picture) I had managed to restore a healthy weight after my eating disorder (top left picture) however I wasn't mentally recovered. I was still having to fight my anorexic thoughts daily and I didn't accept my body the way it was at all.
Now however I feel like a different person! It is only now that I have finally developed a healthy relationship with food, as well as with myself and that is only thanks to Herbalife and my wonderful coach Phoebe Outtram who not only introduced me to Herbalife, but also personal development, self love and self belief!
For the first time ever I now consider myself to be fully recovered from my eating disorder and that is something I never thought would happen . I am so much fitter, healthier and stronger now and my mental state is the best it has ever been!

Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people standing and shorts

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Sunday, 11 December 2016

Surviving christmas with an eating disorder article

Christmas with EDwww

15 Helpful Tips for the Holiday Season

  1. Think about what might trigger you over the holiday season, and plan some coping strategies in advance. Identify a support person who is available to listen to you if you feel overwhelmed.
  2. If you are travelling away on holidays, take some resources that will support you while you're away – e.g. books, phone numbers or helpful websites.
  3. Try to find out beforehand what food will be served at an event, if that will help to reduce your anxiety. If appropriate, you could offer to take ‘safe’ food to share so you will feel comfortable that there is something you can eat.
  4. If you don’t feel comfortable eating at an event, have something healthy and delicious before you attend to help you to avoid feeling hungry or overeating later.
  5. Remember, people are usually too busy enjoying their own meal and chatting to be focused on watching what and how much you eat!
  6. Many people overeat on Christmas Day and often comment on the quantity they have eaten. Remember their comments are not aimed at you.
  7. Consider using some Mindful Eating techniques to reduce the likelihood of bingeing during the day.
  8. Plan and discuss family visits and what may happen, especially with people you haven’t seen for a while. You can think of what they may say, and what responses you might give them. Practice saying these out loud.
  9. If someone makes a comment about your appearance, remember that you don’t have to take their comments on board. Let the words wash over you.
  10. Remember that the urge to binge or purge is just that – an urge that will come and go. Give yourself permission to acknowledge the urge, and let it go.
  11. If you are expecting to be part of a large family gathering, plan what you will do to give yourself 'time out' from the crowd.
  12. Give yourself permission to experience your own emotions on the day. Remember you don't have to be happy and smile all the time - no one expects it.
  13. Over the holiday period you may have some time off from school, work or university. This provides a great opportunity to engage in some activities you haven't tried before – or if you’d rather chill out and do nothing at all, that’s fine too!
  14. If you are receiving results from school or university, or applying for further study, remember that your grades do not define your worth.
  15. If you are struggling and need to chat, call your local eating disorders helpline. If you are in Victoria, contact 1300 550 236 or help@eatingdisorders.org.au

Friday, 9 December 2016

Fully recovered

"I have fully recovered from Anorexia"

If I am completely honest, I never really knew if I would ever be able to honestly say these 6 words but today, that is exactly what I am doing! I have recovered from my eating disorder and I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR DOING  IT! Even though it was the most terrifying and difficult thing I have ever had to do, I stuck at it anyway and refused to give up. It is just over 4 years since I was first diagnosed and even though those 4 years were painful, they were so worth it! As now I get to live the rest of my life the way I deserve to live it; happily, healthily and to the fullest

There isnt a single thing that I ever miss about my life when I was anorexic. Not how I looked and definetely not how I felt. I remember feeling as though I would never be able to accept my body at a healthy weight but I love my body now! It is healthy and strong and I love how happy and healthy I feel with my body the way it is! So please, if you are too frightened to start gaining weight as you dont think you will like your body when you recover, just do it anyway! I promise your mind will recover as your body does and you WILL be able to love yourself and your body at a bigger weight.


When I was sick, I liked how I looked and didnt want to change. Now however I can see how terrible I looked back then wouldnt go back to that for anything! Like me, you can recover too. You just have to believe it is possible and believe you can do it! Stop allowing your ED to consume your life, take control of it and live the life you deserve to live!


Tuesday, 8 November 2016

End of semester

Over the past month or so I havent had much of a chance to write any posts but now my exams are finally over and I have more time on my hands again which is great! Although I havent gotten any results back yet I am confident that they will be fine! I worked really hard and I prepared myself for them as best as I possibly could have so no matter what happens,  I can be proud of that.

Although I did get anxious and stressed at times, I think I coped with my exams relatively well. It really helped having my wonderful boyfriend there for support and also keeping a healthy balance by getting some exercise everyday helped me too. At times though I know I got stressed and wasnt great company for my boyfriend to be around, but I am thankful he didnt take it personally and was surprised by just how understanding he was.

Now My exams are over, I am looking forward to doing some extra shifts at work (so i can hopefully save a bit of money as I am very broke at the moment). I am also excited to now have more time to dedicate to growing my herbalife business. Herbalife is something I am so incredibly passionate about and of I can build a career for myself through helping others feel fantastic 24 hours a day, 7 days oer week, then that will be a dream come true.

I am in the midst of starting up a fit club which is super exciting and I cant wait to see what else the future holds! The weather is finally starting to warm up now that summer is approaching as well which is another added bonus! This summer is going to be the first summer in a long time that I have had a really good relationship with food as well as good self confidence so I am really looking forward to it!

Im just about to make myself a herbalife cookies and cream frappe for dessert and then I will probably just snuggle into bed and watch some telly for the rest of the night. It feels so good to do this now after not having had the time for so long! I hope everyone is really well. Please let me know if you have any specific post topic requests or any questions you would like answered.

Friday, 21 October 2016

My Herbalife Program

I thought I would do a post about my Herbalife program for anyone who may be interested :) all of the products are herbal and therfore safe to use by children, adults, pregnant and breastfeeding mums. Although daily dosages are recommended, you cant over dose on the products. They are literally just like food but in another form.

Firstly, the two core products are the f1 nutritional shake mix and the f2 multivitamin. I have either 1 or 2 shakes per day as well as a multivitamin with each main meal. The shakes come in lots of flavours but my favourite is vanilla. As well as providing all of the nutrients and minerals your body needs each day in perfect balance, these products also work to cleanse the villi in your intestines so that you can properly absorb all of the nutrients you consume throughout the day.

I also use a supplement called cell-u-loss which helps your body and cells to maintain perfect water balance. This therefore reduces unhelthy water retention and keeps your kigneys functioning optimally. Another product I take twise daily is, NRG or Natures Raw Gurana. This supplement helps enormously with energy levels as well as alertness and concentration so I have found it very helpful whilst studying at university. I also take a probiotic complex which helps to restore and maintain the perfect balance of healthy bacteria in the gut.

I use both Mango and mandarin Aloe concentrates which literally cleanse your insides and assist in digestion as well as drink up to 5 cups of peach herbal tea most days which is full of antioxidants, gives me energy and keeps my metabolism running FAST! There is also a apple flavoured active fibre complex which I have occasionally to keep me regular and to keep my digestive system functioning optimally. Lift off is another great product I use which is like a caffeinated powder that you add to water to make an energy boosting delicious fizzy drink.

Two other supplements which arent includes in my ultimate program but that I opt to take anyway are joint support and tang kuei plus. I find the joint support really minimises my joint pain sue to my ligamentous laxity and the Tang Kuei Plus is a wonderful relaxant which helps me to destress and also sleep.

Finally I also use products from the sports range. The f1 sports nutritional mix can be used to make shakes prior to exercise instead of the regular f1, which substitutes a couple of ingredients with others that better prepare your body for exercise and activity. CR7 drive is a delicious tangy guava powder that I add to water for better performance and endurance whilst working out and rebuild strength is another chocolate favoured shake mix which I have after I have a strength training class as it helps my muscles to recover and repair.

I have found my recovery has come so far since I started these products and after abusing my body for so many years, it feels so good to know that I am now providing my body with all the nutrition and energy it needs to function optimally! I have so much energy now and am so thankful that I am now able to experience dynamic health, every single day!






Tuesday, 11 October 2016

My updated 101 in 1001

'I thought that this was a fantastic idea as I believe the best way to actually get things done is to write them down and set yourself a time frame to complete them in. I got the idea to do this from Izzy's blog and have decided that I will also add the list to my pages so that I can cross the things off as I do them and show you my progress.'

1. Travel outside the country for the first time
2. Make a full recovery from anorexia
3. Meet Anna, a girl I started talking to through my blog who also lives in Tasmania
4. Do a fun run for a charity
5. Eat pannacotta
6. Make some new friends
7. Find myself a boyfriend
8. Reach 100 000 page views on my blog
9. Publish 1000  blog posts
10. Help someone  make a full recover from anorexia
11. Stop counting calories all together
12. Learn how to listen to my body and eat intuitively
13. Reach my bodies natural set point weight
14. Eat food from 5 different fast food Places
15. Go to the Taylor Swift concert in Melbourne with My dad and Amy
17. Drive in the city of Hobart
18. Learn to love my body the way it is supposed to naturally be
19. Raise money/awareness for eating disorders
20. Explore some more of Tasmania
21. Go on a week long camping trip
22. Eat a chicken Parmiagana meal at a pub
23. Fully complete a crossword without usng the internet to cheat
24. Develop a good relationship with my mum
25. Try to find way to show Dad and Amy how much they mean to me
26. Get a horse
28. Help my mum to get better
29. To get my hair back to being naturally curly, like it was before I got sick
30. Read 10 books
31. Get healthy and clear skin
32. Eat a delicious dessert at a restaurant without feeling guilty or anxious
33. Go to a gold class cinema
34. Go surfing
35. Sleep under the stars
36. Sleep in until after 12
37. Paint Tess's dog kennel pink
38. Climb a mountain
39. Have a ski lesson in the snow
40. Get contact lenses
41. Meet a famous person
42. Overcome my anxiety so that I do not need to take anxiety medication
43. Try Ben and Jerrys icecream
44. Eat a krispy Kreme donut
45. Find a brand new hobby
46. Eat a big slice of my nans home made christmas pudding
47. Feel comfortable in a bikini
48. Go snorkeling on a reef
49. Eat popcorn at the movies
50. Make a snowman
51. Do a huge jigsaw and frame it for my wall
52. Cook and eat every recipe that I wrote down in my 'favourite recipes' book
53. Spend some more time on our farm with my dad
54. Keep improving my blog, as I learn more and more about effective blogging
55. Send a parcel of Australian goodies to a reader in another country
56. Get more involved in my local community
57. Buy some presents and place them under the giving tree this christmas
58. Always be there for Amy throughout her teenage years for support
59. Develop a closer relationship with my brothers
60. Make more of an effort to visit the nan who I do not see very often
61. Watch 5 north Melbourne football games live with my dad
62. To actually go swimming when I take my sister to the beach/river in summer
63. Eat a cooked breakfast in a cafe
64. Eat real pizza from a Pizza restaurant
65. To comfortably have drinks with calories in them, just because I am thirsty
66. To make a christmas Gingerbread house
67. To stay out with friends so late that we watch the sun rise
68. Get fit
69. compete my traineeship at the bank (but keep working there)
70. Take Amy on a special weekend away
71. Grow my own Strawberries
72. Make homemade jam
73. Not weigh myself for 2 months
74. Go ice skating
75. Eat only unprocessed foods for 1 week straight
76. See fireworks on New Years
77. Do the mud run
78. Become an organ donor
79. Go for 1 week without watching tv
80. Stop picking at imperfections on my skin so that I stop scarring
81. Watch the news everynight for two weeks
82. To not feel any guilt, after being unable to exercise all day
83. To be able to accept a compliment from another person
84. Try every type of magnum icecream available
85. Eat two courses at a resaurant without feeling anxious
86. To eat less tinned/ packaged foods and to start making them myself from scratch
87. See dolphins/whales in the wild
88. Find a brand new form of exercise that I enjoy
89. Spend less time inside and more time outside (especially in summer)
90. Make it through a whole summer without getting sunburnt
91. See something that makes me believe in magic
92. Run 10 kilometers along a beach
93. Make 10 new friends in one day
94. Get a tattoo that symbolises my recovery
95. Eat pancakes with icecream for breakfast
96. Eat icecream from the tub with a good friend
97. Laugh so hard that I cry (I did this all the time once, but I havent for a long time)
98. Maintain my weight/not lose weight for 1 year
99. Do a colour run
100. Donate blood


101. To be proud of what I manage to achieve and who I am 

Friday, 7 October 2016

Accepting weight gain in recovery

I think that one of the most difficult and triggering things about recovery from anorexia can be seeing your weight increase, both on the scale and as your body gets bigger too. I guess the reson it is so hard is that anorexics practically dedicate their lives to preventing weight gain and just because they make a committment to recovery, does not mean this fear or pattern of thinking that is so deeply instilled in them instantly goes away.

There is no way of avoiding it, the fact of the matter is if you want to make a full recovery from anorexia, you will need to get to a healthy weight. Telling yourself anything different will mean you are only setting yourself up for failure and more pain in the future. Your body and mind simply wont work properly whilst you are underweight and you will therefore never be able to get rid of your anorexic thoughts all together or make a full physical recovery either.

Whilst I was gaining weight, I remember feeling a mixture of emotions everytime I stood on the scale. If I had failed to gain any weight, the part of me that wanted to recover woukd be dissapointed but at the same time, the anorexic part of me would be overjoyed. Getting these types of anorexic thoughts at stsges throughout your recovery are completely normal and nothing you should be ashaimed of. Alk that matters is that you do not change your behaviors based on these thoughts. Accept that they are there but chose to ignore them.

Similarily, everytime I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained weight the part of me that was dedicated to recovery was glad but the anorexic part of me was furious. I believe thst in order to stay on track in recovery as you experience weight gain, is that you need to want recovery, more than anything else in the world. Before I began my 'true' recovery, I reached a point whereby I was completely fed up and miserable with my anorexic life. I started wanting a recovered life, more than anything wlse in the world. It was only then that I was able to find the strength I needed to fight my anorexia and make actual recovery progress.

An important thing lto remember is that as you continue gaining weight, it does get easier. So dont think that the anxiety and pain you experience the first time you realise you have gained weight will persist through your entire weight restoration phase of recovery. I think a big part of the reason that it gets easier is because as your weight increases, your brain chemistry normalises too. This means that your thinking becomes more rational and some of your biggest fears like gaining will therefore lose some of their significsnce. 

I am a huge believer that the only way to overcome a fear is to face it, so by gaining weight and doing the exact thing you fear, it will slowly become less scary. No matter how hard it may seem you just need to remind yourself of how much you want recovery and the fact that you will not recover if you dont gain weight. The reason I was able to push through the fear and anxiety if weight gain is that I wanted recovery so badly, more than anything else in the world. 




Monday, 26 September 2016

My weekend

I hope that like myself, you all had a fantastic weekend and that you are all pumped and energised for the week ahead! :) 

On Sunday I had my Herbalife shake party/wellness day which was a truly great day. Now that I have become a senior consult with Herbalife, not only do I get to live the incredible Herba-life-style myself but I can also help others around me to reach their health and wellness goals too. So my wellness day was a bit of an introduction to some people who have shown interest in my Herbalife and an opportunity for them to become my clients. I am so so excited to be coaching and supporting others to become healthier versions of themselves as this is something I am very passionate about. I have already got two new clients and I cant wat to continue to change the lives of more and more people in the future, just as my own life has been changed for the better!

Everyone who came to my shake party

Some of the snacks at my party



HERBALIFE chocolate which I made with cookies and cream shake mix and coconut oil. I even added sultanas and almonds to make a fruit and nut chocolate which was delicious!

My lunch from today; wholegrain toast topped with baby spinach, cherry tomatoes, scrambled eggs and tomato sauce plus vanilla yoghurt with strawberries

My instagram facebook picture post from this morning :) 

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

Food diary

I Herbalife shake made with 250mL lite Soy milk, 1 banana, 3 strawberries, 6 ice cubes, 2 scoops of vanilla nutritional mix and 1 dash of cinnamon

2 portions of honey roasted nut oats made with 125mL soy milk, 250mL water, 1 scoop Herbalife personalised protein powder, 1 tsp vanilla essence

Baby spinach, cherry tomatoes and scrambled eggs (2 eggs, 1/4 c soy milk) on two slices of wholegrain toast and topped with tomato relish + 1 small cookies and cream protein bar

1 packet of salt and vinegar Mini rice cakes, 1 apple and 1 Chobani Strawberry yoghurt

Beef cannelloni with boiled veggies (sweet potato, carrot, broccoli and peas)

Herbalife microwave mug cake (1 egg, 1/4 cup of milk, 1 tbs protein powder, 2 tbs cookies and cream nutritional shake mix) topped with natural greek yogurt

Throughout the day I also make sure I stay hydrated with plenty of water,  herbalife peach tea and herbalife Aloe concentrate I also take 4 different supplements, 3 times per day :)

Monday, 12 September 2016

Birthday weekend and booty lifestyle 4 week Challenge

Hi everyone :) I hope that like me you had a fantastic weekend and are now feeling pumped and ready to start a brand new week! Since it was such a busy week last week at uni with tests and assignments, it was so nice just to have a celebratory weekend where I could just let loose with friends and have fun. I asked one of my good friends from Hobart to come up to Launceston for the weekend so that we could go out with some of my other friends for a birthday dinner on Saturday night. It didnt really feel like my birthday dinner as it was almost a week after my actual birthday but we still had a great time. 

On Saturday morning my boyfriend, my cousin and my friend from hobart all went to the christmas hills raspberry farm for brunch and it was delicious. I had full intentions of treating myself to something sweet like pancakes however when we arrived, I started craving something savoury so I ended up getting a fetta and leak tart with pumpkin salad and it was truly delicious. I also had a raspberry herbal tea and indulged in some chocolate coated raspberries for dessert. 

We then dropped my boyfriend back off at our place and us three girls headed into town to do some shopping. I as hoping to find something new to wear and eneded up getting a simple little jumpsuit which I planned to wear with some white heals. I then picked up two more friends and we all headed back to my place to have a few drinks and to socialise, before heading out for dinner. We arrived at the restaurant at about 7:45 where we met two more friends so there were 9 of us in total. I had never been to the restaurant we went to before but the food was incredible and it wasnt that expensive either. 

I had a dish called frenched chicken which was like a stuffed chicken that came served on a bed of sweet potato mash with steamed greens and a delicious sauce. It was one of the most delicious meals I have eaten for as long as I can rememeber and I scraped the plate clean. Luckily I still had just enough room for dessert so I had a banana split which came served with incredible caramel icecream as well as chocolate pieces and caramel popcorn. 

After dinner, we went out to a couple of bars where we danced and drank a little too, before heading home at about 1am. It was a great night and I had so much fun with all my closest friends! The following day I met two of the girls who had celebrated with me the night before and we went for a walk around the Cataract Gorge. It was really nice to get out in the fresh air and was a great way to end a wonderful weekend. I also spent some time doing a little study and preparing for the upcoming week at university.

Today I am starting a 4 week Herbalife Booty Lifestyle Wellness Challenge which I am quite excited about. Not only is the nutrition side of Herbalife incredible, but the community is amazing too. We all work together to motivate and inspire one another ti achieve our goals, no matter what they may be. For me, my goals are to continue improving my mindset, to nurture my body with the food, nutrition and exercise it deserves and to get stronger and gain muscle. 

I had to take some before pictures so that I can see the  physical progress I make over the next four weeks and when I compared them to the 'before picture' I took when I started my Herbalife program (almost 2 months ago) I was really surprised to see the transformation in my body. As well as gaining a kilogram I have become noticeaby stronger in my legs and arms and I am even starting to get a booty which I love! I am happy to post the progress pictures over the last two months if you like, just let me know!

I better leave this post here and go and get some study done. I have already been to the gym today so am feeling totally energetic and ready for the long day at uni I have ahea. I am also trying to take photos if everything I eat today so that I can do a photo food diary for the day xo stay tuned for that!:)




Friday, 9 September 2016

A little motivation to start the weekend










A busy few weeks

Over the last couple of weeks I have not had the time to write any blog posts as I have been so incredibely busy. Last week I had two days of work at McDonalds and the remainder of the week I spent studying for mid semester tests I had this week. It was actually mid semester break so I luckily didnt have any scheduled classes for the week however I still got lots of productive study done as was therefore well prepared for my tests.

Unlike this time 2 years ago when I was at university, I am now able to do other  things as well as study without expeeiencing overwhelming guilt, remain happy and stay relatively anxiety free. For instance all last week I studied when I could, but also went to a daily gym class and spent time with my boyfriend in the evenings, when he finished work. I now understand that taking breaks from study is bot something to feel guilty about, infact finding a healtgy balance between study, work and the rest of your life is essential.

I also didnt spend that much time studying over last weekend as my family came to Launceston Saturday so I caught up with them for my birthday as well as fathers day. Also as Sunday was Fathers day, we went out for lunch with Nathans family. I still got a few really productive hours of study done each day over the weekend though and since I had already gotten a lot of productive study done the week before, I was feeling well lrepared for my tests and anxiety free.

It was my 22nd birthday on Monday however I was so busy it didnt really feel like ny birthday. I went to ny usyal early norni g Pupmp class and then just revised before I did my first mid semester exam at midday. The exam went really well and despite the fact I had not spent every second leading up to the exam studying, I was well prepared and feeling good. This just proved to me how important it is to keep a balanced life ALWAYS and that getting PRODUCTIVE study done is the key to success at university. I had a couple of hours to spare before I needed to be back at uni for a tutorial so I spent it working on an assignment that was due on the Friday of this week (today).

As soon as my tutorial finished, I made the hour and a half drive to Ringarooma to my boyfriends parents house. My boyfriend spoilt me with lots of birthday presents including new Asics shoes, a nutritional pro to make my morning shakes in, a gorgeous silver bracelet, chocolates and a bottle of bacardi which is the type of alcohol I drink (not that I drink very often). He also got me a card and wrote a beautiful letter inside, which almost made me cry it was so sweet.

Nathan didnt want me driving all the way to his house on my birthday however I didnt want him driving all the way to me as he had done so much driving over the days leading up to that, including that morning when he drove from my place to work.I didnt mind driving as long as I got to spend the night with Nathan and his mum cooked my favourite Tea for me, roast chicken with vegetables and pavlova and cream with berries for dessert!

I made my way back to Launceston early on Tuesday morning as I had to work for 3 hours at McDonalds and wanted to get a couple of hours study done before hand. After work, I decided to go to a gym class as there really wasnt much more study I could do before my second mid semester exam the following day. I had already prepared myself so well for the test it was really only a matter of reading through all of the notes I had already made. After the gym class I had Tea and then just revised for another hour or so before getting an early night.

I woke up at 6am the following mornjng and studied until 9, before making my way to the university to sit my mid year exam. Like my other exam, it went well and I felt as though I was as prepared as I possible could have been, despite the fact that I hadnt spent every second leading up to the exam studying. I had managed to stay happy and healthy while studying for my exams and still felt really well prepared which is a huge accomplishment for me, given my history of perfectionism and intensive studying which lead to me being completely miserable last time I was at uni.

After my exam Wednesday Inwas feeling really tired so instead of going to the gym like I had planned to, I just rested instead and worked on my assignment. I got another early night Wednesday night and felt incredible when I woke up on Thursday morning so I went to my usual early morning Attack gym class which was a great class as I had so much energy. After that I headed back to my place to my place and had breakfast before watching a lecture. After lunch I started doing some of the housework I had neglected to do in my study week and also did ny grocery shopping and put the finishing touches on my assignment which is now ready to submit.  I Spent the evening with Nathan which was nice and now its Friday morning!

I have quite a big weekend coming up and this is already a long post so I think I will update you all on that early next week. I also aim to erite some recovery advice posts next week as I know I havent done this for a while now. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Xx

My dad, sister and I on Saturday





Saturday, 3 September 2016

Weekend plans

Its Saturday morning and I am just writing a quick post before I head to a pump gym class. My boyfriend is working today so we were both awake relatively early this morning. I am feeling totally energised after having my morning Herbalife Shake and bowl of delicious oats and my mind is nice and clear.

My parents are coming up to Launceston (where I live) today to bring my little sister to a school event so I am going to meet them somewhere for lunch. I havent seen them all for a while now so it will be good to catch up with them, especially since tomorrow is fathers day. It is also my birthday Monday so it will be good to see my family today as otherwise I wouldnt have seen them for my birthday at all.

Tomorrow my boyfriend and I are meeting with all of his family at a restaurant for lunch too, so that we can celebrate fathers day. I love it how Nathans family are all so close and family orientated. And I also love the way his parents and siblings have accepted me into the family so well. His parents just treat me like another one of their children and I really enjoy ataying with them and spending time with them. I am also really close to Nathans siblings, especially the brother and sister that I live with all the time.

I will also have to spend a fair bit of time studying this weekend also as I have two mid semester tests next week. Surprisingly I am not really feeling stressed out about them at all and I am managing to keep a really healthy balanced life, despite having tests coming up. It helps that I am feeling relatively prepared for these tests as I have been getting lots of productive study done over the last week or so.

This time a few years ago I wouldnt have been able to have a single break from studying as the guilt would have been to much for me to deal with and my anxiety levels would have been through the roof. I am feeling great at the moment now though and know that it isnt healthy to study as much as I used to. I still study of course and do my best, however now I have other things in my life that are important too which allows me to stay happy and healthy whilst at university.

So those are my weekend plans, nothing too exciting just a quiet weekend spending time with family and my wonderful boyfriend. I hope you have a great weekend :) xx

Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Incredible motivation

If you are looking for some motivation, I highly reccommend Les Brown. He is incredible and has helped me a lot in my own personal development. :) here are a few of his quotes but there are lots of videos on YouTube  as well.









Monday, 29 August 2016

Feeling energised and motivated after resting and a Herbalife STS

Dragging myself out of bed last Thursday morning was really hard. Ever since starting Herbalife I have been bouncing out of bed each morning but for some reason I was feeling really tired and unmotivated. I had been studying really hard all week as well as going to the gym each day and working and I think that I was just mentally and physically exhausted.

I felt a little better after having my Herbalife shake so decided to go to my regular Thursday morning 'body attack' gym class. My legs were a bit sore before I even got there and during the class they just wouldn't do what I wanted them to do. They were heavy and slow and simple things that were usually effortless, seemed like massive efforts. Somehow, I managed to get through the 45 minute gym class but it was so hard, but not even in a good workout type of hard way.

I went home and studied for the rest of the day, barely leaving my room but by mid afternoon, I was starting to feel really nauseous. At times I actually thought I was going to be sick I felt so unwell but luckily I didnt vomit. My boyfriend arrived just before dinner time and the first thing he said to me was that I looked really tired. Thats when I knew that I had been doing too much and that I had worn myself out.

After a good nights sleep I felt quite a bit better however I knew that my body needed a rest day, so thats exactly what I gave it. Unfortunately I wasn't able to give my brain a rest day too as I had too much happening at uni with assignments due and lectures to watch but not exercising while still eating lots was exactly what I needed.

I went out for dinner with my boyfriend and another friend of ours and we had a really nice night. And despite the face I had quite a few drinks that night and only got about 6 hours aleep, I woke up the next morning feeling like a million dollars. I got up early, made my herbalife shake as well as breakfast for my boyfriend and an hour later we were on our way to Hobart.

I was going to Hobart to attend a Herbalife STS (Success Training Seminar) and luckily my incredible boyfriend said he would drive me down as I had no idea how to get to the place where the function was being held. It was an incredible day with lots of speakers sharing their success stories as well as learning about all of the products Herbalife offer. I got to try some new Herbalife products, which were all delicious (but now I just want to buy more products which I cant really afford haha!)


There was an ex professional AFL footballer there who uses and distributes Herbalife so it was good to hear him talk about his journey and the advice he offered about going for your dreams was unbelievable. There were so many people there with inspirational stories that I couldn't help but feel inspired, to continue actively chasing my dreams and proving to everyone, as well as myself that I can do anything I set my mind to. Whether it be make a full recovery from anorexia, finish my uni degree or get fitter and stronger.

After such a big day I was feeling tired by the time I got home so I made myself some tea andvpretty much went to bed. My boyfriend stayed up watching tv and I tried to watch it with him but I couldnt keep my eyes open so just slept. I felt great when I woke up the next morning though so decided to go and do a quick 45 minute workout at the gym. After a two day break from exercise my energy levels were great and my body felt properly recovered too as my joints and muscles were no longer sore. It was a very successful workout and I really enjoyed it too.

When I got back home my boyfriend and I went to watch his sister play football and we also bought lunch at the bakery. It was a beautiful and sunny day so it was really nice to stand outside and absorb some heat, something that is quite rare in a Tasmanian winter. We then just headed back home and rested for the rest of the afternoon/night.

This week is mid semester break which means I dont have an university classes however I do have two mid semester tests next week so will have to spend most of the week studying for those. I hope everyone has a great week and remember to rest if your body or mind need it! :) xx

Thursday, 25 August 2016

Eating healthily and exercising

A common misconception is that people who eat healthily and work out want to lose weight. I have received various different comments over the last couple of months about what I eat and the exercise I do. People say things like 'you dont have to go to the gym, you are already skinny' or 'why do you only eat healthy foods, you dont need to lose weight.' 

What these people fail to realise is that I dont eat healthily or exercise because I am trying to lose weight. In fact I am actually trying to gain weight at the moment. I do these things however because I love and respect my body and want to keep it healthy and strong. 

Eating healthy foods does NOT necessarily cause weightloss if you are still getting enough calories. It just means that the foods you eat nourish your body and make you feel more energetic, instead of harming your body and making you feel lethargic and slugish.

Similarily, exercise does NOT lead to weight loss as long as you are fueling your body with enough energy. The health benefits of being physically active are endless and include things like disease prevention and more efficient respiratory, cardiovascular and metabolic functioning. As well as improving your physical health, exercise also has the ability to improve mental health.

I suppose an important question to ask yourself if you have had an eating or exercise disorder before is 'why am I exercising?' or 'why do I eat healthily?' If the honest answer is because you enjoy these things and want to nourish your body and allow it to be healthy and strong, then I see no reason why you shouldn't be doing these things. 

If however your honest answer to these questions are more 'disordered' reasons, then I would question whether you should be eating healthily or exercising, as doing these things will most likely be destructive to you and your mental health.

Monday, 15 August 2016

Learn to love your body

I never thought I would love my body again, especially at a healthy weight but I actually love my body more now then I ever have in my life. I accept it for what it is and just appreciate all of the wonderful things it allows me to do. Lifes too short to spend time hating your body, what good can possibly come out of doing that? So please, try your hardest to love yourself and your body, it will make recovery so much easier and more achievable! Here are some tips from the National Eating Disorder Association on how to learn love your body

20 Ways to Love Your Body

Compiled By: Margo Maine, PhD
  1. Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams.  Honor it.  Respect it.  Fuel it.
  2. Create a list of all the things your body lets you do.  Read it and add to it often.
  3. Become aware of what your body can do each day.  Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.
  4. Create a list of people you admire:  people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world.  Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments. 
  5. Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.
  6. Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.
  7. Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your personal style, and that feel good to your body.
  8. Count your blessings, not your blemishes.
  9. Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance.  Try one!
  10. Be your body’s friend and supporter, not its enemy. 
  11. Consider this:  your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver every six weeks, and your skeleton every three months.  Your body is extraordinary—begin to respect and appreciate it.
  12. Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.
  13. Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.
  14. Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good.  Exercise for the Three F’s: Fun, Fitness, and Friendship.
  15. Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body.  Loving your body means you get to feel like that again, even in this body, at this age.
  16. Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself—without mentioning your appearance.  Add to it daily!
  17. Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, “I’m beautiful inside and out.”
  18. Search for the beauty in the world and in yourself.
  19. Consider that, “Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way.”
  20. Eat when you are hungry.  Rest when you are tired.  Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.