Home to Swansea

After not being home to see my family since christmas, I really enjoyed travelling home to Swansea for the weekend with my boyfriend. Things have not been great for my family over the last few months and even though the issues are still ongoing, it was still nice to go home and see everyone. Now that I have my own life in Launceston, it would be so easy to just completely distance myself from my family and all their problems back in Swansea but that wouldnt be fair on my little sister and dad. I love them so much and want to be there for them to help them through any difficulties they may face. So my boyfriend and I started the 1.5 hour drive to Swansea when he finished work on Friday afternoon and we arrived at my family home at about 6:30pm. Unfortunately my dad was away for the weekend but it was still great to see my sister. My sister Amy has been my best friend for as long as I can remember and despite the 6 year age gap between us, we get along incredibely well. 

On Saturday morning my mum and I went for a walk on our farm and had a very close encounter with a 6 foot long tiger snake. By the time we saw the snake, we were only a single step away from it and it obviously felt threatened by us as it reared its head and striked at us. Luckily we both jumped back at that exact moment so the snakes head (and fangs) just missed us. If the snake had tried to bite us a second time it would have bitten one of us for sure as we were simply too close and couldnt get away. Thank goodness it decided to slither off instead leaving us full if adrenalin but unharmed. We then drove into Swansea to visit my nan before meeting my herbalife coach Phoebe for lunch. I had my all time favourite meal (which I hadnt had for ages) caeser salad and it was so yummy! We then visited my other nan and went out for tea with my mum. For tea I had Spaghetti bolognaise with a side of vegetables which was ok but not as nice as lunch. I loooove pasta but prefer tomato or chicken based pastas, rather then mince. I still ate it all though, to everyone elses surprise as it was huuuuge! 

I took my mum home after tea but then went back into town with my boyfriend Nathan. I wasnt drinking alcohol like I usually do when we go out in Swansea as I had to drive home but my boyfriend was and we had heaps of fun playing 8 ball (pool). We also chatted with my uncle, aunt and cousin for an hour or two which was really nice. When we got home that night my brother Luke was there so it was really nice to see him. The following morning nathan, Amy and I headed into Swansea with two of our puppies to go for a nice walk on the beach. We had running races on the beach and just enjoyed the sunshine and scenery. We started the drive back to Launceston at about 2pm and were back home by about 4. Overall it was a really nice weekend and I am looking forward to heading back to Swansea one weekend soon, but when my dad is home so we can spend some time with him too.

This is the type of snake we ran into 

My gorgeous sister and myself

My boyfriend nathan and me

Nathan, cassie the puppy and me

My weekend

I hope that like myself, you all had a fantastic weekend and that you are all pumped and energised for the week ahead! :) 

On Sunday I had my Herbalife shake party/wellness day which was a truly great day. Now that I have become a senior consult with Herbalife, not only do I get to live the incredible Herba-life-style myself but I can also help others around me to reach their health and wellness goals too. So my wellness day was a bit of an introduction to some people who have shown interest in my Herbalife and an opportunity for them to become my clients. I am so so excited to be coaching and supporting others to become healthier versions of themselves as this is something I am very passionate about. I have already got two new clients and I cant wat to continue to change the lives of more and more people in the future, just as my own life has been changed for the better!

Everyone who came to my shake party

Some of the snacks at my party

HERBALIFE chocolate which I made with cookies and cream shake mix and coconut oil. I even added sultanas and almonds to make a fruit and nut chocolate which was delicious!

My lunch from today; wholegrain toast topped with baby spinach, cherry tomatoes, scrambled eggs and tomato sauce plus vanilla yoghurt with strawberries

My instagram facebook picture post from this morning :) 

Weekend plans

Its Saturday morning and I am just writing a quick post before I head to a pump gym class. My boyfriend is working today so we were both awake relatively early this morning. I am feeling totally energised after having my morning Herbalife Shake and bowl of delicious oats and my mind is nice and clear.

My parents are coming up to Launceston (where I live) today to bring my little sister to a school event so I am going to meet them somewhere for lunch. I havent seen them all for a while now so it will be good to catch up with them, especially since tomorrow is fathers day. It is also my birthday Monday so it will be good to see my family today as otherwise I wouldnt have seen them for my birthday at all.

Tomorrow my boyfriend and I are meeting with all of his family at a restaurant for lunch too, so that we can celebrate fathers day. I love it how Nathans family are all so close and family orientated. And I also love the way his parents and siblings have accepted me into the family so well. His parents just treat me like another one of their children and I really enjoy ataying with them and spending time with them. I am also really close to Nathans siblings, especially the brother and sister that I live with all the time.

I will also have to spend a fair bit of time studying this weekend also as I have two mid semester tests next week. Surprisingly I am not really feeling stressed out about them at all and I am managing to keep a really healthy balanced life, despite having tests coming up. It helps that I am feeling relatively prepared for these tests as I have been getting lots of productive study done over the last week or so.

This time a few years ago I wouldnt have been able to have a single break from studying as the guilt would have been to much for me to deal with and my anxiety levels would have been through the roof. I am feeling great at the moment now though and know that it isnt healthy to study as much as I used to. I still study of course and do my best, however now I have other things in my life that are important too which allows me to stay happy and healthy whilst at university.

So those are my weekend plans, nothing too exciting just a quiet weekend spending time with family and my wonderful boyfriend. I hope you have a great weekend :) xx

Melbourne and my tattoo

After having an amazing weekend away with my boyfriend in Melbourne, I really wish we didn't have to head back home. We are currently on the short plane trip back to Tasmania soI thought I would make good use of the time and write a blog post, to tell you all about my weekend away. It was a really busy few days so my boyfriend and I are both pretty exhausted. I dont think my boyfriend was impressed that I booked early morning flights either because it meant we had to get up at 5am. Oh well, atleast we will be back early enough so that I can make it to my university classes.

We arrived in Melbourne at about 10 am on Friday morning and made our way to our hotel. We were stayed at the Crown casino which was really nice and also HUGE.. I didnt realise just how much there was at the crown casino. There were restaurants, places to go shopping, a cinema, night clubs and of course a casino too. It really was incredible! After leaving our bags in our hotel room, we caught a taxi to St. Kilda and got some lunch. I had the soup of the day which was a cauliflower and pumpkin soup that also came with some yummy bread. I also got a serve of crumbed eggplant which were AMAZING!

After lunch we headed back to the hotel and wandered around for a while, checking everythinb out. We went for a swim and the pool was nice and warm.  I also enjoyed relaxing in the spa. After spending an hour or so in the pool we headed back to our room and had a couple of relaxing drinks before heading out to tea and then the casino. We went to a restasurant called the Merrywell for tea where Nathan got a burger and fries and I got wood fire roasted vegetables with grilled chicken. After tea and a couple more drinks we went to the casino where Nathan played some roulette. We had a great night together, chatting and drinking and even went to one of the night clubs for a while before we headed to bed at about midnight.

We slept until 9 or so Saturday morning and then went out for a late breakfast at about 10:30. I had strawberry and rhubarb porridge which tasted amazing. We then went shopping at the DFO's where I got a new 'puffer jacket' as my old one had a broken zip. I got a nice MACPAC one that was $280 reduced to $90 so I was really pleased with that. I also got some new adidas tights to wear to the gym and a Roxy hooded jumper that was only $20 reduced from $70. As a surpprise Nathan bought me tickets to the musical 'Matilda' so we headed to that after we went shopping. I dont think Nathan was that keen to go to the musicalat first but I think he ended up enjoying it just as much as i did. It was a really great show! By the time Matilda finished it was almost 5 o'clock and since we had eaten anything since breakfast, we were both starving.

We stopped at a place called the 'Republic Bar' for tea and we both enjoyed chicken schnitzel with chips and salad. It was really nice to have a simple but hearty meal for tea after eating a a bit fancier foods until then. Then we went back to the casino where we had adrink before heading to the football. Nathan goes for St.Kilda and I go for North Melbourne which were the two teams playing so it was a great game for us to go too. I was really glad that my team won but it was a good game so I think Nathanstill really enjoyed it which is good. After the ffotball we walked back to the hotel and went out until about midnight again. We fell in to bed, both exhausted after a huge day and didn't get up until about 9:30 the next day.

We met my friend Ella for breakfast the next morning at the safe cafe we went to for breakfast the day before. I had a delIcious breafast that came with beans, poached eggs, fetta and turkish bread as well as a skinny late. It was good to catch up with my friend as I dont get to see here very often, now that we live in different states. Nathan and I both said that we would like to maybe live in Melbourne one day though as we both enjoyed our time there so much. Whilst we were eating breakfast, I decided it would be a good chance to get a tattoo while we were in Melbourne. So we found a tattoo studio and I got adesign drawn up that I loved. My appointment wasn't until 3 o'clock so we headed back to the hotel for an hour or two and just relaxed and had some fruitsalad for Afternoon tea.

I was quite nervous about getting my tattoo as I had no idea what to expect. I was getting a tattoo in my ribs which is one of the most painful placesto get oneand it was quite a big tattoo as well. Also because I have a thin stomach, the tattooist warned me it would probably be painful, especially when tattooing over each rib bone. It took two hours and although it was a bit uncomfortable at times, it wasn't too bad. The pain was there but very barable and I coped well with it, probably due to the fact I have a pretty high pain threshold. I absolutely loved the finished product and so did my boyfriend which I was really glad about.

The pictures arent that clear and it is a bit swollen but this is what it looks like :) the quote says; she believed she could do she did

An incredible weekend

It's currently Monday morning and my gorgeous boyfriend has just headed of to work after us having a wonderful weekend away together. We drove down to Swansea late Friday after Nathan finished work and I finished university. We stopped on the way to get some Subway for tea which was yummy as always. Nathan wasn't feeling so hungry so only got a small 6 inch sub however I couldn't resist indulging in a large footlong sub.

We arrived at my parents place at about 8 pm and it was really nice to catch up with everyone. Both of my brothers and my sister were home as well as my parents which was nice. We were planning on having a sleep in on Saturday morning however we both woke up early so just got up and started our day. We just hung out with family until lunch time and then we headed into Swansea to watch the football. Both of my brothers play for our local football club as well as many of my cousins and friends so Nathan and I always enjoy watching it together.

After the football we headed into the club rooms to have a few drinks with everyone before we went to the pub for some tea. I had a delicious lasagna with salad and I ate it all and enjoyed every bite! We could only stay for a short while at the pub as we were heading to the annual football club ball. We walked to my nans house to get changed into our good clothes and get ready. It only took me about 15 minutes to get ready as I really am not the sort of person who spends hours and hours getting ready to go out but I was still happy with how I looked and was looking forward to the night.

We had a truly amazing time at the ball with some incredible people and it was definetely a night to remember. Admittedly I probably drank too much but I really enjoyed myself which is the most important thing. My favourite part of the night was definetely dancing with Nathan as well as my brothers and friends. I have always been the type of person who was far too self conscious to dance however I have no trouble getting up on the dance floor after a couple of drinks and really enjoy it! We went home at about 12:30 when the ball ended and just went to bed.

The next day I was feeling fine as fortunately I dont really get hangovers however poor Nathan wasn't so lucky. Unfortunately Nathan gets very sick after drinking alcohol so we just had a very quiet morning. It was my mums birthday so it was lovely to be there too see her in person and give her a present which she loved. We all went out for lunch to celebrate mums birthday before Nathan and I headed home. Luckily Nathan felt well enough to eat a little lunch and he continued to feel better through out the afternoon which I was glad about as I hate seeing him feeling so unwell.

Surprisingly, I wasnt sad at all about leaving my family in Swansea again, even though I dont know when I will see them again. I am so happy living in Launceston with Nathan and wouldn't change anything about my life. No one has ever made me as happy as Nathan does and the love I feel towards him is something I have never experienced before, even with family. I am loving my university units so far and am enjoying studing again and having more routine in my day.

I love feeling so full of energy and well now that I am doing Herbalife and eating more nutritious foods (although admittedly I did neglect this over the weekend). I have full intentions of resuming my new eating this week though as well as going to the gym when I can. ( I might evenpost a food diary atthe end oftheday today so you get an idea of what types of foods I am fuelling my body with.

I hope everyone else had a great weekend and you are all pumped and ready for the week ahead! :) x

Excited for the weekend

Although I currently have a cold and cough, I am still in an excellent mood as I am travelling back to Swansea this weekend with my gorgeous boyfriend. We are staying at my parents place and all of my sinlings will be home so it will we wonderful to catch up with everyone!  

Despite being sick, I am smiley and happy!

I am just waiting for my boyfriend to finish work and then we have a couple of things to do here in Launceston before we make the 90 minute drive back to the coast where I was living up until 3 months ago.

Before we go we have to vote as the parliamentary election is being held over the weekend accross Australia and we also need to collect some dominos pizzas which we will take home to share with my family for tea.

Once I would have cooked something else to eat if my family were having pizza as I was simply terrified of something like takeaway pizza and wouldn't have been able to eat it. It feels so wonderful to be able to share food like this with my family now and i know it makes them all happy to see me eating what everyone else eats too!

We dont have much planned for our weekend in Swansea besides going and watching the football and hopefully catching up with all our friends in Swansea who we havent seen for ages. It will also be nice to catch up with my other family members including my grandparents, aunties and uncles and cousins.

We will most likely go out for tea tomorrow night and go to the pub for a few drinks as this is what we typically do on a Saturday night in Swansea. Other than that I will just enjoy a nice relaxing time with all the people who mean the most to me in my life.

It will be so good to see my beautiful girl Tess

My boyfriend and my sister

How things have changed

It really amazing for me to look back now and see just how far I have come in the past 12 months. To really demonstrate this i thought I would do a comparison of my weekend this weekend to a typical weekend for me a year ago.

For starters, back then I was underweight with an extremely unhealthy bmi of only 14. Now however, my bmi is 19 which puts me within the healthy bmi range. I know that I am still thin but am just happy that I am a healthy weight for my height. I have quite a petite frame and my siblings and parents are all thin so as long as my mind stays healthy I am happy with my current weight and have no desire to change my weight.

A year ago, if someone had asked me if I liked my body or the way I looked, I would have said definetely not. But now, I can honestly say that i dont mind my body and how I look. I know that I am healthy and that is the most important thing!

This past weekend I have been out to a restaurant for two different meals as well as eating lunch at a bakery. Eating out like this was aomething that I would have found terrifying 12 months ago and would have avoided at all costs. Now however I love going out for meals, especially with my boyfriend.

I also went for tea at my parents house and ate tea which was prepared for me by my mum which is something I refused to do 12 months ago. The reason this terrified me so much back then was because I hated eating an unknown number of calories.

Now, although I do still keep a rough track of how much i eat most days (mainly because I seem to undereat if i dont), knowing exactly how many calories I eat really doesn't matter to me anymore. I have finally come to the realisation that its ok to eat more sometimes and that a little extra food wont hurt me or make me instantly gain heaps of weight.

I am also comfortable drinking alcohol when i got out with my boyfriend and friends which is something I never would have done. I no longer have a fear of consumimg liquid calories and find a lot of enjoyment in being sociable anddrinking with friends. I also drink things like hot chocolate or juice, which i would have considered to be a waste of calories, 12 months ago,  sinply because I feel like them and enjoy them.

I also have a much healthier relationship with exercise now. Unlike 12 months ago when I would have been incredibely anxious about walking any less then my usual amount, now it doesnt bother me. For example both yesterday and the day before I only took my dog for one walk instead of two as I usually would as I wanted to spend more time with my boyfriend. And today I barely went for a walk at all as it started to rain just as I left my house.

I really enjoy being active and being fit and healthy but at the same time exercising less then usual doesnt cause me any worry or concern as it ince would have. 12 months ago, walking a certain distance each day was a priority for me. Now however, I have other priorities that are more important to me like my boyfriend, my health and my hapiness.

12 months ago I was on medication for my anxiety and also medication for my skin. Now I dont feel as though i need any of these medications so don't take them. Since reaching a gealthy weight and nourishing my body and mind I feel as though I think so much more rationally and clearly. My skin is also so much clearer due to me stressing less and eating so much better.

12 months ago I suffered from insomnia and was therefore exhausted all the time and trying to function daily on almost no sleep. Now I honestly believe that the insomnia was simply die to me refusing to give my body the amount of food it truly needed and deserved. Now I have no trouble sleeping and can actually sleep in some days which is something I could never do.

I wanted to share how things have changed for me over the last year so that you can all see that it is possible to recover. Its not easy... in fact its probably the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. It was for me anyway. But please trust me when I say it is so worth it. Recovering may be the hardest thing you ever do but it is also the most wonderful. Because the life you have at the end of it is worth every bit of pain and anxiety. So please, keep fighting with all you've got. Believe in yourselves like I did and you could be where I am today in 12 months time!

Me and my boyfriend, who is without a doubt the most wonderful thing that has come out of my recovery

An amazing weekend

As you would have most likely realised from this post title, this weekend has been another amazing one for me! After not seeing my boyfriend for 10 days, I was so excited to see him on Friday night. As usual we went to the local pub for tea and drinks. I had my usual chicken caesar salad which is my all time favourite food. It is so good to be able to eat foods like caeser salad which contains many different foods that wouod have once really frightened me withno guilt at all. Even though it contains things like cheese, full fat dressing, bacon, croutons and chicken, I still always completethe entire thing and enjoyevery single bite of themassive portion!

I saw this on facebook last night and laughed so hard 😂

On Saturday we just enjoyed spending time together. Except when I got up and walked Tess by myself as Nathan is always too lazy to go with me. We watched some of the cricket which was being played in Swansea and visited my dad and sister. We went for lunch at the bakery and then back to the pub again for tea. This time I had spaghetti bolognaise with a side of vegetables which was tasty too! My brother and also lots of the local youth were at the pub so we had a really great night and didnt leave until midnight. Many games of 8 ball were played and many beers were also drunk!

When Nathan, my cousin Siarne and I got back to my place at about a quarter to 1 we stayed up a little later snacking on chocolate and chips and having many laughs before going to bed. We didnt get out of bed until 9:30 or so and after an hour or two of watching telly and alsotaking Tess for a walk, it was lunch time.  After lunch Nathan and I went and picked up my little sister and cousin and took them up the cranbrook river swimming. The water hole was really full after our recentfloods so the girls had a great time swimming.

Please remember that it is possible to like your body at a healthy weight. Although I am no longer super skinny, I do accept my body the way it is and have no desire to be thinner then I currently am.

The only bad part of the weekend was when Nathan had to leave so that he could start the 3 hour trip back to where he lives. I miss him so much during the week when we are a part but I know the next five days will fly by and I will be with him again before I know it! This weekend I am going up to Launceston to meet him so that we can go to festivale, whichnis a food and wine festival. It will also be valentines day and since this is my first valentines day with a boyfriend, I cant wait!

Another amazing weekend

The past weekend has been another amazing weekend spent with Nathan. I drove to Launceston on Friday night after work and met Nathan just out of the city before I followed him into where his parents house in Launceston is. Over the weekend I met his parents, 2 of his sisters and one of his brothers and they were all lovely. I think nathans mum was a little concerned when she first saw me that I wasnt old enough to be with Nathan as he is almost 23 but she was ok once she realised that although I look younger, I am actually 21.

Over the weekend, we didn't really do anything overly exciting, but it was just nice to spend time together. We watched some prison break which is the series we are watching together and went out for 3 meals all up. We went for a drive to a place called greens beach on saturday morning and stopped at the tamar valley resort for lunch on the way home. I had a huge chicken caesar salad which was delicious but I made muself terribly sick eating it as I ate too much. By the time I finished I could barely walk my stomach was so full. After that we headed to nathans sisters house where I got to meet nathans baby neice and nephew who were adorable.

We then went out for tea at the casino with nathans parents and some of their friends. Neither of us were still very hungry so we kust got chicken nuggets and chips for tea which was nice and simple. Then nathans parents went home and nathan and I stayed at the casino a little later. We went to a bar where we had some drinks and chatted for a few hours before heading back home. By the time we got up and showered the next morning it was 11 o'clock so we pretty much headed straight out to get some lunch. We went to Levi which is a really nice restaurant at the seaport where we both had steak and chips.with a side of vegetables. It Was seriously the best steak I have ever eaten and I really enjoyed it.

Even though I barely did any exercise and ate out a lot, I felt really good all weekend as I was with someone who makes me incredibely happy. Even though I have felt my life getting more and more normal over the last 7 or 8 months, I believe that seeing this boy really is helping me to keep moving forward and is allowing me to completely move on from my eating disorder. This past weekend I just felt like a completely normal girl all weekend and I didnt let my anorexia control me once, even for a moment. I think it has been really food for my self confidence too as the boy is always complimenting me on how I look and my figure. Whixh really  does help me to accept myself.

I havent mentioned to the boy about my anorexia yet as it just hasnt come up and although I am sure i will tell him one day, I dont have any intentions of telling him anytime soon. I like the fact that he doesnt know about my past and that he doesnt know me as the anirexic girl, which is what so many others know me as. I know he would be understanding but I dont want him to feel as though he cant keep treating me exactly the same way as he currently does. Occasionally he jokes about what I eat or something like that and I just laugh as I honestly do find it funny. I wouldnt want him to feelas though he couldnt do that anymore and he probably would as he is a very thoughtful and considerate guy.

Best weekend Ever

After being a little nervous late last week about meeting up with guy I had been chatting too via social media and also by texting, any nerves and anxiousness was overcome in the first 5 minutes or so and I ended up having one of the best weekends of my life. I honestly didn't know that boys like this even existed. He was honestly one of the most thoughtful, considerate and kind guys I have ever met and I feel so lucky to have ended up with him in my life.

I was so dissappoinnted when the weekend came to an end but am so excited as we are going to do it all over again next weeekend, but at his place this time. I am honestly just so thankful that we started talking and that I was brave enough to invite him down to my house. Its crazy to think that we had only been talking for about a week when he arrived at my place to spend the weekend with me, but it really did feel as though we had known each other really well for years.

I was so nervous when he arrived on Friday night as I didn't know if it was going to be awkward at all, but it wasn't awkward in the slightest. He didn't arrive until about 9:15 pm but we spent hours and hours chatting into the early hours of the morning and we never ran out of things to talk about. We both commented on the fact that everything moved so fast with us, one minute we were meeting online and the next he was at my place for the weekend and we were getting along as if we had known one another for years.

Even though I barely even knew him, I felt as though I had known him for years and I felt as though I could trust him completely. I felt completely comfortable around him and I also felt as though I could just be myself. He didn't expect me to act a particular way and I did not feel as though I was being judged by him for even a single moment. I honestly felt as though he acceppts me 100% and that is exactly the type of guy I feel as though I need in my life. Anyway, I could honestly go on for paragraphs talking about how wonderful this guy is so I will stop now,  but I think you get the picture anyway, he is a pretty amazing guy.

This past weekend has made me realise a few very important things that I thought I could share with you all. For starters, lifes way to short not to just go for an amazing thing when it comes along. Yes it all happened extremely fast with this boy, but looking back I wouldn't do anything differently. Through being brave and a little spontaneous, I ended up having one of the most amazing weekeds of my life with one of the most incredible guys I have ever me.

Amazing guys do exist; I had basically just accepted the fact that guys like Nathan didn't exist. But this past weekend has proven to me that their are incredible guys out there and that you just have to be patient and wait for them to come along.  Afterall, an amazing guy is what you DESERVE. I have never met anyone so kind, funny, charming and considerate in all my life and I honestly wouldn't change a single thing about him, even if I could. I really do feel the hppiest I have felt in years and it is all because of this amazing person and I hope that he is a part of my life for a really long time.

Also, I feel as though my anorexia didn't interfere with my weekend at all, even for a moment. I drank lots, ate out, missed breakfast, stayed up late and slept in until 10am, but in despite of all these things, I smiled more. Not once did I have an anorexic voice in my head making me feel anxious or uncomfortable. I felt so happy around this guy that nothing could ruin it, not even the monster that has caused me so many issues over the last few years.

Not even eating pizza or sharing an icecream after a huge meal from the bakery could get my anorexic thoughts going, I was simply just enjoying myself to much for anything to get in the way. I have a feeling that this is going to be a eally long week at work, waiting for next weekend to come along but I just neeed to keep telling myself that eventually it will be here and when the weekend does finally arrive, I know it is going to be fantastic!

So... theres this boy

I feel strange writing about this on here but since I share everything else with you all anyway, I may as well share this too. And I feel as tgough I need to explain why once again my blogging might not be the best this weekend.

For the past few weeks, I have been talking to a particular guy who I have never met, but who is a friend of a friend. He is incredibely nice and easy to talk to and we seem to have a lot in common. The only bad thing is, he lives over three hours away which means that it is a very long way to travel, in order for us to meet up.

Despite this we have organised for him to come up to Swansea this weekend sonwe can meet and hopefully spend some more time together. I felt terrible asking him to drive all the way down here but he doesn't seem to mind at all which i think is so sweet. 

Something else I think is sweet is that he has agreed to come and watch my little sisters dance concert on Saturday night. I am pretty sure that going to something like that would be incredibely unappealing to most 22 year old guys, but he has said he will go anyway, as I guess he can tell its important to me.

So even though i havent actually met this guy in person yet, I can already tell that he is a great guy and I hope that things arent awkward at all when he arrives. We talk basically every day already so I dont think it will be hard for us to make conversation. But I suppose only time will tell. 

For so long whilst I was sick, I had no interest in guys what so ever. But now I feel as though I want a relationship, more then anything else. I feel as though a relationship would help me in my final stages of recovery as it would help to normalize my life and make me start acting more like a typical 21 year old girl.

Even if things dont get as far as a realtionship with this boy, I know that I have found a new friend who is an amazing person. So I feel as though it is impossible to lose in this particular situation. I am a bit nervous about meeting this guy for the first time but I am sure it will be fine. Wish me luck (although I really hope I don't need it!).

I just found this on line, hopefully it helps haha.

How to Make Things Less Awkward When First Meeting a Guy

by Beth Burgess, Demand Media 

Laughing and smiling can help you feel less awkward.

It is normal to feel a bit awkward when first meeting someone new, and this can feel especially difficult if it's a guy you might be interested in romantically. Girls may feel self-conscious and worry about how they come across to a guy, which can produce feelings of anxiety and stress. He may be feeling just as nervous as you, but luckily there are ways to put you both at ease and make the encounter less awkward.

Smile at Him

Take the pressure out of the situation simply by smiling. Not only does a smile look warm and welcoming to a guy, but it could actually relieve you both of stress. According to a study published in "Psychological Science" in 2012, smiling during a stressful event can reduce your heart rate, making you feel less anxious. The University of Kansas research showed that a genuine smile, which engages the muscles surrounding both the mouth and eyes, is even more effective for reducing stress than a smile using only the lips. Think briefly of a happy memory to bring about a genuine grin.

Make Him Laugh

When people feel socially awkward, humor can often help to break the ice. A study by John Jay College, which was published in "Group Processes and Intergroup Relations," showed that making a joke diffused tension when people were in awkward social encounters. A good introductory joke that doesn't sound too corny is: “When I told my best friend I was meeting you tonight, she advised me: ‘Don’t try to be too charming, witty or intellectual. Just be yourself.’”

Talking Topics

Other things that made people feel less awkward when getting to know each other included emphasizing common interests and receiving compliments, the University of Kansas research revealed. A good way of doing both things together is to pick up on an item of clothing he is wearing and tell him what you like about it. Perhaps you could compliment his shoes and tell him you have a pair that are the same brand. Or you could mention that his shirt is your favorite color.

Conversing Smoothly

People often find it difficult to have a flowing conversation with someone new, because they make short, closed statements, reports the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. For a conversation to flow, you must provide "hooks" that a guy can catch onto, so he can continue the conversation. A good way of doing this is by making a statement and then asking him a question about it. You could try: "I saw a great movie yesterday. Do you have a favorite film?" or “I'm going to a concert tomorrow. What music do you like?"

Day at the river

I am so sorry I havent written any posts today. I have just been  flat out looking after the kids and really havent had time. Anyway, here are some photos from my day. We spent most of the day at the river which was great fun, even though I am sunburnt now.

Make the most of every situation

If I said I wasnt a little dissappointed about not being able to go out or socialise this weekend due to babysitting, im afraid I would be lying. The truth is, there are other things I would rather do on my rare days off then babysit kids however I am determoned to make the most of it and still have a good weekend.

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I have been feeling very run down and tired lately which as far as I know is only due to a lack of sleep. Therefore a weekend of relaxing and doing very little is probably exactly what I need! Besides walking Tess I literally plan to just relax and hang out with the kids both today and tomorrow. The two girls are at pony club and dancing so it is only the little boy who I need to currently look after.

I am just waiting for the girl to get home from dancing and I am going to take the kids up to my families place for a visit. I am looking forward to seeing my family and i think the kids also want to see the farm animals and feed the lambs. My best friend jemma is going to come and keep me company tonight which I am looking forward to and tomorrow we are hoping that it will be warm enough to take the kids up the river for a swim :)

Me with my youngest cousin 

I hope that everyone is having a good weekend.

Busy weekend

This weekend is going to be a big one but not for the same reasons it usually is. This weekend I wont be partying, working or socialising, instead I am going to be babysitting my cousins all weekend. I stayed out at their place last night (Thursday night) and will be staying until Sunday Night. I had a pretty good nights sleep last night which was surprising as usually I dont sleep as well in a strange bed.

The kids are all pretty well bahaved. The youngest is a 7 year old boy and then there are also two girls a 10 year old and a 13 year old. The eldest boy is 15 so I don't really have to babysit him at all, he is capable of looking after himself. I have bought Tess on with me so that I can take her for walks (which I am about to do now, before the kids need to get up for school.

I will have to drop them off on my way to work this morning and then I will be at work all day before having to come home and cook tea for them tonight. The rest of the weekend the kids will be all over the place as they have things like dancing and pony club but luckily they have lifts to all of those things so all I have to do is look after the kids when they are actually here.

I am feeling a little better after having a rest day yesterday. Although I did take Tess for a couple of walks, I practically spent the rest of the day snoozing on the couch and watching series. This is exactly what I needed though and I plan to make the most of a quiet weekend with the kids and get some more rest time in. I have had a constant headache for the last few days and I dont know if its because i am just warn out, if i am dehydrated or it ciukd wven inficate that i am a bit iron deficient, as this happens to me quite a bit (even before I ever got anorexia)

My weekend

After watching my little sister at her dancing lesson yesterday, I headed to my best friends place. I had never been to her place before or met any of her family so she showed me around their farm and itroduced me to her family which was great. We helped Jozzy's brother move some irrigation pipes and I also got covered in dust whilst riding on the back of the four wheeler motor bike so I needed to have a quick shower before I could get ready for the party.

I felt a bit nervous going to the party as I hadn't actually officially been invited. Only Jozzy and her brother had been invited but theyy were sure that the guy whose party it was wouldnt mind at all. I was really happy when I got there as the Guy could remember meeting me at another party and didn't mind that I was there at all.

After just drinking and chatting for a little while, we all had some tea. There was barbeque meat as well as lots of different salads which I enjoyed. We headed out by the fire when it got dark which was nice and warm and we just had fun for the rest of the night. We listened to music, danced and continued drinking until the early hours of the morning. I met lots of really nice people who I hope I get to see again one day and overall had a great time.

After getting almost no sleep, I woke up with a head ache and feeling really tired. I said goodbye to Jozzy and everybody else and began the long drive back home. I got subwway on the way home which was nice however I regretted ating it as it made me feel really sick. I struggled to keep my eyes open all the way home and was so happy when I finally did arrive. Aftergreeting Tess I went straight to bed and slept for almost 3 hourd. When I woke up I felt much better so got ready and took Tess for a nice long walk.

Since getting back from my walk I have just rested and made myself some tea. I had chicken nuggets with BBq sauce with mashed potato and pumpkin and boiled vegetables. I read a few chapters of 'The Rousabout' which is the book I am currently reading and just plan to relax and watch tv for the rest of the night. Luckily I left my house in a clean state on Saturday morning so there isn't too much for me to do tonight. I really only need to have a shower and anything else that needs to be done can wait until tomorrow.

I hope that everyone has had a great weekend :)

Another eventful weekend

My little sister came and stayed with me last night which was fun and this morning I have to take her to her dance lesson in Orford, before I head to my friends house. We are going to a party together tonight which should be fun so I am headig to her ouse before hand. I have never met My friends family before or been to her house so I am quite looking forward to meeting them all. If they are anything like Jocelyn, they will all be lovely people!

Jocelyns house is in the middle of no where so Ireally hope I am able to find it ok. She has given me pretty detailed directions on her place although I am a little worried as there will be no phone reception so if I get lost, I will not be able to call her and get anymore help. Luckily I got my sence of direction from my dad though (as my mum is hopeless at following directions of finding new places) so I am sure Iwill get there eventually!

It is currently 5:20am and I feel as though I have so muuch to do before I take Amy to her dance lesson at 9:30. I was really hungry so ate breakfast as soon as I woke up. I had a bowl of cheerios as well as 2 slices of toast topped with a mashed banana. If you haven't ever tried mashed banana on toast, I highly reccommnd you try it as it is deicious. Make sure the banana iss quite ripe though as otherwise it wont mash up very well and it wont be as sweet.

I still have to get dressed and ready, pack my bag, walk Tess, get my sister Amy ready, hopefully schedule some posts and also just try and clean my house up a little so that it isn't in too much of a mess when I get home on Sunday night.

What I need to take with me:

• Swag
• Hair straightener
• clothes
• makeup
• deoderant
• medication
• purse/money
• My drivers licence for ID (to buy alcohol as no one ever believes I am 18)
• phone and charger

This is the third weekend in a row that I am going out drinking wih friends but I guess that is just normal when you are young and enjoying life (in Australia it is the norm anyway!) Although I would never drink alcohol on my own, I do enjoy going out and having a few drinks with friends but I am obviously still a bit weary of alcohol because my mum has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember.

I hope that everyone has a fanntastic weekend... Enjoy! :)

My weekend plans

I am expecting my good friend Jozzy to arrive sometime over the next half an hour so I am really happy. I haven't seen Jozzy for over a month so I am really looking forward to spending the weekend with her. I am going to try my hardest to write atleast a couple of posts every day this weekend but if you notice that I dont write as much as usual, it is only because I am busy and dont want to seem unsociable by spending to much time writing posts.

Tomorrow we are going to go for a drive to bicheno which is a seaside town half an out away (also the town where my bank job is). We are going to go and help my brother in his butcher shop for a while as he has just opened up his own shop which is exciting. If it is warm we will probably also go for a swim and some nice walks. There are also some greay surf shops in Bicheno that we will be able look in which will be fun. We will most likely go out to the tavern tomorrow night for drinks and tea which should be nice too.

I hope every one has a fantastic weekend :) x

My weekend

Unfortunately, I only got the chance to write one post yesterday so I thought I would fill you all in on what I got up to. My Saturday just started off like any other work day. I walked Tess, went to work and eventually made it to the end of the day. Luckily it was quite busy so the day didn't go too slowly but I was still really glad when it was time to go home.

My cousin Jemma was going to stay at my house last night as her parents were away and when I went to pick her up, her brother mentioned a party that was going to happen that night and said we could go. We were undecided whether we should go or not but eventually decided to go, even though we both had to work the next day. So after having some salad and pasta for tea, we walked for 20 minutes or so towards the place where the party was going to be before someone else who was going stopped and gave us a lift the rest of the way.

We werent planning on having a late night but after a few drinks, I seemed to forget about the fact that I had to work the next day and just enjoyed myself. At about 12 o'clock my cousin wanted to leave so she walked back to my place (with some others who were also leaving) but I stayed at the party a bit longer. I ended up going to bed at about 2:30 and had a few hours sleep before waking up and having to get ready for work. One of my brothersfroends (who I am also really good friends with) insisted that I sleep in his swag whilst he slept in his ute. I felt terrible taking his swag but he really wouldn't let me do anything else, which I think was actually really sweet.

I feel fine this morning, even though I drank quite a bit last night. I do t really feel sick at all which is good. I just feel tired. I am currently in my lunchbreak and I cant wait for the day to be over so I can just sleep. My house is quite messy but Ireally dont have the energy to clean it up today, it will have to wait until sometime this week. To ight I am just planning on taking Tess for a quick walk, having tea and then going to bed. I cant believe another weekend is almost over all ready. I  definitely dont feel ready to start another work week tomorrow but I know I will get through it as long as fuel my body properly and get a couple of good nights sleeps.

I hope everyone had a great weekend :)

Another great day

Today has been another great day. We went down stairs and had a delicious all you could eat continental breakfast. I had fruit salad, yogurt and also some buttered toasted fruit loaf (aka Raison toast). After that we went and did a litle more shopping at KMART. Whhich is a shop in Australia that sells basically everything. I bought a new phone case, some new plates and bowls (as I never have enough crockery when I have people over) as well as a mindfullness colourring in book and some crayola twistable pencils. I have wanted an adult colouring in book for ages but they were always sold out wherever I looked so I was so happy to find one. 

We then went to a supermarket where I did quite a big grocery shop. I stocked up on frozen meals which were really cheap and also bought some nice treats like yoghurts, rice puddings and snacks that aren't available in Swansea which was good. I know that eating frozen meals is probably quite laazy but I honestly think that they taaste amazing and they are so easy for me to cook with some extra vegetables when I get home late from work. Before we started our long journey home we went to Wendys where we both got a thick shake. It was the first thick shake I have had for about 4 years and it tasted amazing!

On the way home we listened to music and the tri didn't seem to take too long. After driving all around tthe city of Launceston, I left feeling totally confident about doing it again in the future. I guess that this just shows that the only way to overcome your fears and anxieties is by being brave and concquereing them. I used to be erriified about driving in any city but now after doing in 3 times it no longer akes me nervous at all. The next thing I need too try and do is driving in Hobart which is a bit carier fr me as I don't know Hobart as well and it seems to be a bit busier.

I dropped Jemma off but we planned for me to go and meet her later that afternoon to take our dogs for a walk. After having a quick lunch I firstly went and saw my mum and also bought a new pair of shorts as the ones I was wearing were too small. I didn't realise that they didn't fit anymore until I started walking as they kept riding up and it made them too short. These particular shorts were actually to big this time last year so it feels strange for them to no longer fit me. I know that this is not a bad thing though, it just shows that I am now healthy. Afterall, they were only a size 14 in childrens so I therefore shouldn't be able to fit into them.

I walked Tess to meet up with Jemma and then we went on a HUGE walk. It was really warm and sunny and both us and our dogs really ejoyed ourselves. We had an icecream at the shop before I took her home and then came back to my place. I feel as though I have so much to do before I go back to work tomorrow but I really cant be bothered doing anything. I just had my tea which was special fried rice and vegetables (in one of my new bowls) and now I am trying to get myself motivated to unpack my suitcase and shopping, have a shower, tidy up and get ready for bed. It has been a huge weekend but also an amazing one. It is times like these that I really love being so far along in my recovery as I know that I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself like this is I was still sick.

Jemma and I in our  Lee Kernaghan Tank tops before out walk

Tess and I when we got back from our walk

Tea