No longer sensitive to the cold

Although it may not seem like a  big deal compared to some of the ther symptoms of anorexia, feeling freezing cold all the time was one of things I hated most of all about anorexia. When I went into hospital I was experiencing hypothermia which was truly aweful. I remember just having to lay there, my my bed with my electric blanket going all the time so that I wouldn't feel quite so freezing. This winter I didn't even have an electric blanket on my bed however!

After I got out of hospital, I didn't have serious hypothermia so much but I was still always freezing cold all the time. My fingernails always seemed to be blue and I couldnt do some things that I wanted to do, because Iwas so sensitive to the cold. Even in the middle of summer I couldn't go swimming at the beach or river with my sister as this would just cause me to become far to cold and once my temperature dropped, it wass a very difficult thing to get it to increase again.

One of the biggest everyday things that I have noticed since getting so much healthier is that I no longer feel the cold any worse then other people. In fact, I am probably more 'warm blooded' then the average person. For example yesterday it was quite cold so I had my fire going but as I was doing my housework, I felt as though I was oerheating so I ended up just doing it in my sports bra and a little pair of shorts. I felt completely comfortable wearing this temperature wise and I couldn't help but think about how cold I would have once felt wearing this.

I then went and took Tess for a quick walk, still only wearing the small shorts but also a jumper and even though the aair was cool, it certainly wasn't too cold. Once I got movng I felt completely comfortable and not once did I wish I had warn some longer pants. Even now, although it is only 7 degreess outdoors, I am sitting up in only a sports bra and a pair of little pyjama shorts, as that is what I wore to bed last night, and I feel fine! I know that the reason I no longer feel the cold is because my thermoregulatory system has been able to repair itself and has started working efficiently, now that I am providing myself with the energy my body needs.

Also, I guess I feel so warm all the time because I eat so much and so often, as heat is a product in the food metabolism process, (when the food you eat is digested and when the energy is used throuughout the body). With summer appraching, I am so happy to be feeling so healthy and I am excited that for the first time in a long while, my sensitivity to the cold will not stand in the way of me doing things that I want to do. I am so glad that I no longer suffer from sensitvity to the cold or hypothermia and I hope that I will never do so again!

To anyone out there trying to stay warm whilst battliing an eating disorder, there are various different thhings you can do to warm up. Especially in winter, I always wore many layers and also had a warm heat pack, permantly attatched to me which I would cuddle or have resting on my stomach. Of course the best advice I can give to you is to nourish your body and allow it to recover. Only then will you no longer feel the cold so much!

Keeping Warm

Fortunately, since eating recovery amounts and reaching a healthy weight I no longer feel the cold any worse then normal people. In fact , I actually seem less tollerant to the cold then others around me. I think that the main reason I can now regulate my body temperature so well is because I eat plenty and often. This means that if ever my body temperature begins to drop, there is enough energy readily available fo my body to use to warm me back up again.

One of the main reasons I went to hospital in the firsst place after being diagnosed with anorexia was because my hypothermia was so bad. It was the most awful feeling, being so cold all the time but since Iwasn't eating, my body didn't have any energy to keep me warm. For the days leading up to going to hospital, all I could do was lay in bed with my electric blanket on and try to keep warm.

Even once I started eating a little more, it took a long time before my metabolism kicked back into gear and I was able to properly regulate my body temperature. I suppose the fact that I was so thin didn't help either as I had no insulation at all. My fingernails were always purple or blue and my hands were always as cold as ice. In some parts of the world where it is warm all the time, anorexics may not have this problem but here in Tasmania (the coldest state of Australia) we certainly do!

Here are some of the things I used to do to try and warm myself up whenever Iwas feeling cold (which was basicaly all the time). I hope that some of you who suffer from the cold can find them helpful :)

• WEAR LAYERS: I always wore thermal pants and tops under my other clothes ad they helped a lot to keep me warmer. Thermals can be quite expensive, but Ithink they are definetely worth it. You only really need a couple of pairs so that you can wear one pair whille the others are in tthe wash.
• WEAR SOCKS/UGG BOOTS: I find that if my feet are cold, then so is the rest of me is too. By keeping my feet warm I usually find that less of the warmth seems to escape from my body.
• HEAT PACK: Whilse I was sick, my heat pack was my best friend. Iwas constantly warming my heat pack up every hour or so and I would always place it on my stomach underneath my clothes. I would only do this while I was at home of course but I found that having direct contact with something like that really helped to keep me warm.
• BLANKETS: While I was at home, I also almost always had a blanket wrapped around me. No matter where I was, ehether it was sitting by the fire or cooking my tea, I always had a blanket around me (looking back this probably wasnt the safest thing, as a blanket in the kiche nis a bit of a hazard ;o).
• HOT BATH: Whenever I felt as though I just couldn't warm up, I would go for a a hot bath. It felt like heaven laying in the hot water and having every part of my body feel warm. The only problem was, eventually you would have to get out and then you would feel cold again.
• ELECTRIC HEATER: Luckily, my family always had a electric heater in the house that I could switch on if I ever started to feel my body temperature dropping, before it got too low. I felt guilty fo rusing the heater too much as I didn't want to run my dads power bill too high but it was stil handy to use when I was feeling especially cold.
• PUFFER JACKET: My Katmandu puffer jacket is seriously the best thing I have ever owned and the piece of clothing I have worn the most. It is extremely warm as it it filled with goose down feathers and I absolutely love it. They are quite expnsive but in my opinion, completely worth the cost.
• ONESIE: I love my onseies and they were my saviour whilst I was at my sickest. I love snuggling by the fire in my onesie and it always helps me to warm up.

Of course the best advice that I can give you is TO EAT. If you give your body the energy it needs, it will start regulating more body temperature efficiently again. Also drinking hot drinks or eating hot food is a wonderful way to warm you up. Also, when your body digests food, heat is produced so this is why you may feel warmer quite soon directly after eating. I used to hate being so cold all the time and being much warmer all the time now is honestly one of the best things about being in recovery in my opinion :)

A cold and windy day

During the night last night there was rain and and also lots of wind. I couldn't sleep so I spent most of the night laying awake and watching Pretty Little Liars. My younger brother knocked on my door at about 3:30 am as he had been out at a party and needed somewhere to sleep so I let him in and he went to sleep in my spare room. I absolutely hate not being able to sleep when I have to go to work the following day however it doesnt bother me when I dont need to work.

Being a little tired really doesn't matter if I am not working and I can always just have a little sleep during the day if I feel l ike it. I am going to try my hardest to stay awake as long as possible tonight as I know that falling asleep so early is the main reason why I spend so much time awake during the night and early of a morning. I also want to stay awake to watch master chef as it is one of my favourite shows and there are only two or three episodes left.

It was nice to see my little brother this morning when he got up and he seemed happy to have a bit of a chat with me before mum picked him up which was really nice. I took Tess for a walk in the wind which wasn't all that enjoyable but I guess it wasn't too bad. She still had lots of energy to burn so I took her for a walk to the beach and around the waterloo point walking track. I also spent a few hours doing some studying for my traineeship.

I have found that I just dont get enough time to complete my traineeship theory work whilst I am actually at work so I just need to get in and do it in on the weekends if I ever want to get it finished. I actually dont mind doing my traineeship modules at home aas they are heaps wasier then when I was studying at uni or college and therefore I dont put the pressure on myelf to do anywhere near the amount of work I used to do.

Mum and dad are both briefly calling in this afternoon as well which will be nice as they are delivering some fire wood that they cut up for me. I am very lucky that my dad cuts fire wood for me n our farm as it would cost me a fortune if I had to buy it all the time. I really do enjoy spending time with my family at the oment and love seeing them as much ass possible. I just hope things stay on good terms between us all. Afterall life is way too short for us to spend time mad at one another.

I am hoping that the wind dies down a little this aftetrnoon before I take Tess for another walk but I really don't like my chances. I really cant complain though as this is the first windy day we have had in a really long time and the town I live in is known for being really windy. I would be lying if I said I was looking forward to going back tto work tomorrow as I really do enjoy time off to myself however I dont really mind either. Working keeps my mind busy and I do quite enjoy my job at the bank.

I hope everyone has had a fantastic weekend :) x

No longer feeing the cold

One of the biggest probems for me when I was at my sickest is that I would get terribely cold all the time. Before I went into hospital, I suffered from hypothermia as well as when I got out of hospital. Even in the middle of summer I would still always have a blanket around me whilst I was at home and always wore jumpers outside, no matter how nice it was.

I was no longer able to swim in pools, at the river or at the beach as my body temperature would start to drop once I got in the water and it was extremely hard for me to wam back up again. My fingernails were constantly a blue/purple colour and I constantly has goosebumps. Being cold was one of the worst side effects for me of my anorexia and it really did interfere with my life.

Since I have started eating recovery amounts, this has all changed. My temperature no longer drops when I get cold as the thermoregulation in my body now works. This is because my metabolism had repaired and my body no longer feels as though it must conserve energy by shutting down body processes such as thermo-regulation, as I am providing it with so much food.

The last few days have been extremely freezing however it really has not bothered me at all. In fact, I seem to feel the cold even less then most other people I know which I think is fantastic, considering how much I have suffered with feeling cold in the past. This morning when I went for a walk with Tess before work, it was freezing, I walked her at 7:40am on the beach and even the sand was icy and it was still zero degrees celcius.

Even though my hands stung because the air was so cold, I actually didn't feel cold at all, I felt great! It feels trully fantastic to be able to withstand the cold so much now and I hope that this will continue into the future. I think it should as long as I continue to eat enough food, to provide my body with all the energy as it needs.

Busy day ahead

I have just under an hour before I need to be on the road and heading to the city so I really should be getting ready, but I thought I would quickly update everyone on my plans for the day. Today I have to go to a Work Health and Safety training workshop in Launceston for my traineeship at the bank which I really am not looking forward to. It will most likely be quite boring but atleast it only goes for a few hours! Perhaps I will do a little shopping afterwoods. :)

It has been raining all night which is really good as we desperately needed the rain and I love listening to rain falling on the roof while laying in bed at night. After growing up on a farm I have learnt just how precious and important the rain and water is so I would never complain about it when it comes. Unfortunanately though, I will have to drive the two hours to Launceston in the rain which will make the road slippery and the visibility probably wont be that great either. As long as I leave with some extra time to spare and take it easy I should be fine though.

I have to drive in Launceston again which I am absolutely dreading. I have only driven in a city once before which was also in Launceston but this is something that I feel incredibely anxious about doing. I know that the only way I will get more comfortable driving  in the city is through practice however, so this is just one of those things I need to do, in order to overcome my anxiety.

I still feel like I have so much to do, get dressed, do my hair and makeup, make my lunch and organise my dog (I might take her to my nans house as it is raininng and her kennel is broken) so I should really stop blogging and start getting everything done. Have a great day everone. Remember you are capable of anything, you just need to truly want it and believe that you can do it! x

A cold start to winter

It is only the second day of winter but it is already freezing cold. I am not looking forward to walking Tess early in the morning as it is only supposed to be about 4 degrees celcius (0 degrees realfeel). Luckily however, I am not feeling the cold anywhere near as badly this winter as I was this time last year or the year before.

Like many people suffering from Anorexia, I have always had trouble regulating my body temperature ever since developing my illness. I had bad hypothermia before I went into hospital and have been very sensitive to the cold ever since. Even in the middle of summer I would sometimes get blue finger nails because I was so cold and couldnt go swimming as I would feel far too cold.

Not only have I gained weight since then, but my body now has enough energy readily available for it to regulate my body temperature better. In fact, since increasing my calories to recovery amounts, I am now sometimes less sensitive to the cold then other people. I have been suffering from night sweats the last few nights which is crazy, considering it is so cold but I suppose it is just because I am eating so much.

While I was experiencing hypermetabolism symptoms as soon as I increased my calories before I really started gaining a significant amount of weight, I hadnt had symptoms of it for quite a while. I only started experiencing the symptoms again a couple of days ago, which could explain why I lost weight at that time. if you want to read a bit more about hypermetabolism, you can read a blog post I wrote a while ago here.

I am curious to see what my weight has done over the last few day when I weigh myself tomorrow morning. I honestly think I will have gained the amount I need to but if I havent, I will just increase my intake again. I dont care how much I eventually have to eat, I am determined to do it as I simply refuse to give into my anorexia. I would like to gain atleast 300g since my last weigh in (which is 100g per day) but would be happy with any weight gain at all after my last weigh In.

I will let you all know how I go tomorrow morning. :) I hope everyone has had/is having a wonderful day, keep fighting <3

Early morning update

It is currently 5:38 am and I am snuggled in front of the fire with my blanket and blogging while I eat my Breakfast. I had a typical breakfast for me of 2 slices if toast with cashew spread and a bowl of creamy vanilla and peach oats with 1 sliced banana on top. I have woken up in a positive mood and feel as though today will be a good day.

Excuse the bed hair and the onsie ;)

My day off yesterday was really nice but I didnt do very much besides relax. It was too cold and rainy to do anything outside and I am also still trying to limit my exercise as much as possible. Since making a special effort to exercise less I can feel myself being able to cope with less exercise so much easier. I can now see that although I couldnt see it at the time, exercise was still an issue for me up until only a few weeks ago. I took Tess for two little walks throughout the day and my sister Amy joined me on the second walk as she came to my house for the afternoon after she finished school. 

Amy and I walking on the windy beach

I dont mind going back to work today as I only have to work today and then I have the weekend off again. It is my dads birthday tomorrow so I will probably spend most of the day with him and then Amy is staying tomorrow night. I have promised her a pizza and movie night so it should be fun. :)

I hope everyone has had a fantastic week. :) Do you have any exciting plans for the weekend? :)

Good morning

It is currently only 5:00 am here in Australia but I am awake and feeling energised for a brand new day. Luckily my fire burned right through the night so my house is toasty and warm. I don't think there is anything nicer than snuggling in front of the fire when it's cold outside as I absolutely hate the cold.

Today I am working for a full day at the supermarket which should be ok. My mum also works at the supermarket and is working today so it will be nice to spend the day with her. Things haven't been great between me and my mum for a long time (even before I got Anorexia) and out of everyone in my family she has had the most trouble accepting and understanding my illness.

I actually haven't really spoken to my mum since I moved out of home two and a half months ago which is really sad but finally things seem to be getting a little better between us again which is good. I think that I will always have trouble trusting my mum as she has hurt me a lot in the past but I would still like to keep trying to have a relationship with her as at the end of the day, she is my mum. She may have hurt me a lot in the past but I know that deep down she does love me and want whats best for me.

To be honest I don't really feel as though I need to have a relationship with my mum as I am extremely close to my dad and I feel like he gives me all the love and support I need from a parent figure. But I know that I need to be able to forgive my mum as she is battling her own demons and life isn't easy for her either. While I plan to try and be friendly with my mum, I have also learnt to put up an emotional barrier between us to avoid heartbreak if she ever does or says anything hurtful to me.

Tomorrow she has offered to take me to Launceston (the city) to go shopping as neither of us have to work and I am looking forward to it. It will be nice to spend some more time with her and also to buy some new clothes for myself. I haven't gone shopping in so long and it will be good to get some new clothes that I can feel confident and comfortable in.

Freezing morning

Although we are only half way through Autumn, it is already starting to feel like winter. When I got up this morning I instantly noticed how cold the air felt, even inside the house. Luckily my fire was still burning a little so I could put some more wood on that and try and warm the house. When I turned the tap on to get a glass of water, the water felt as cold as ice and when I put my clothes on out of my wardrobe they were really cold and damp.

When I opened my door to let Tess in this morning she met me at the door. I always tie her up to her kennel each night but apparently she must have got tangled in the fence by her kennel during the night and slipped her collar. I am really lucky that she stayed here all night and didn't go anywhere. I couldn't bare it if she went misssing or something happened to her. I let her in inside and got myself some breakfast which I ate while watching some Grays anatomy.

I put on an extra few layers of clothes this morning before heading out for my walk with tess as it was still only 5 degrees celcius when we went. I shouldn't complain too much about the weather as besides being cold it is still a reasonabely nice day as the sun is bright and there is no rain or wind. While I was walking Tess I began thinking about different ideas for blog posts. I decided to make a list on my phone of all my ideas so that I wouldn't forget them. Our walk took a little longer than usual as I found myself stopping every 30 seconds or so to write down my ideas but i'm glad I did as now I have a great list of topics I look forward to writing about and sharing with you over the next few weeks.


I am working today so better keep getting ready or I will be late. Have a great day everyone and keep on fighting! :) X