Thursday, 26 November 2015

Goodbye to Blogging

This is an extremely hard post for me to write, but I knew that oneday the time would come for me to say this. I just didn't think it would come just so soon. For the last 8 months my blog has helped me more then anything else ever has. I have grown so much stronger both physically and mentally since starting to blog and 99% of the time, I forget that I ever even had anorexia. Now, I just feel like a normal girl who is now starting to live the life she truly deserves, completely free of her eating disorder.

I love helping people who are suffering from eating disorders and always want to be here to help anyone I can however I no longer feel as though regular blogging has a place in my life anymore. In a way, I feel as though it is dragging me down and stopping me from making a full recovery as it is just a constant reminder of where I have been. At the moment, my future is looking incredibely exciting and bright. I have met an amazing boy who I think the world of and I have my wonderful family close by too.

Not only do I simply feel too busy to blog anymore, I also don't want to do it if it is going to prevent me from making a full recovery. The friendships I have made through my blog are so valuable to me and I hope to keep talking to these wonderful people into the future, even if I don't blog anymore. Also, I plan to leave my blog active on-line so that people who are battling with anorexia can still use it as a recovery tool and even contact me, if they want to ask any particular questions or even if they just want to chat.

I know that some of my readers are going to be dissappointed in my decision to stop blogging, but I really hope that you understand this decision and I promise I will still update you all occassionaly on whats going on in my life and how I am doing. I am so thankful for all of your support over the last year and I can honestly say that without you all, I would not be where I am today. Please, never forget that just like me, you are also capable of doing anything you set your mind to. No matter how hard it may seem, you can beat your eating disorder and go on to live a truly wonderful and happy life.


Monday, 23 November 2015

Another amazing weekend

The past weekend has been another amazing weekend spent with Nathan. I drove to Launceston on Friday night after work and met Nathan just out of the city before I followed him into where his parents house in Launceston is. Over the weekend I met his parents, 2 of his sisters and one of his brothers and they were all lovely. I think nathans mum was a little concerned when she first saw me that I wasnt old enough to be with Nathan as he is almost 23 but she was ok once she realised that although I look younger, I am actually 21.

Over the weekend, we didn't really do anything overly exciting, but it was just nice to spend time together. We watched some prison break which is the series we are watching together and went out for 3 meals all up. We went for a drive to a place called greens beach on saturday morning and stopped at the tamar valley resort for lunch on the way home. I had a huge chicken caesar salad which was delicious but I made muself terribly sick eating it as I ate too much. By the time I finished I could barely walk my stomach was so full. After that we headed to nathans sisters house where I got to meet nathans baby neice and nephew who were adorable.

We then went out for tea at the casino with nathans parents and some of their friends. Neither of us were still very hungry so we kust got chicken nuggets and chips for tea which was nice and simple. Then nathans parents went home and nathan and I stayed at the casino a little later. We went to a bar where we had some drinks and chatted for a few hours before heading back home. By the time we got up and showered the next morning it was 11 o'clock so we pretty much headed straight out to get some lunch. We went to Levi which is a really nice restaurant at the seaport where we both had steak and chips.with a side of vegetables. It Was seriously the best steak I have ever eaten and I really enjoyed it.

Even though I barely did any exercise and ate out a lot, I felt really good all weekend as I was with someone who makes me incredibely happy. Even though I have felt my life getting more and more normal over the last 7 or 8 months, I believe that seeing this boy really is helping me to keep moving forward and is allowing me to completely move on from my eating disorder. This past weekend I just felt like a completely normal girl all weekend and I didnt let my anorexia control me once, even for a moment. I think it has been really food for my self confidence too as the boy is always complimenting me on how I look and my figure. Whixh really  does help me to accept myself.

I havent mentioned to the boy about my anorexia yet as it just hasnt come up and although I am sure i will tell him one day, I dont have any intentions of telling him anytime soon. I like the fact that he doesnt know about my past and that he doesnt know me as the anirexic girl, which is what so many others know me as. I know he would be understanding but I dont want him to feel as though he cant keep treating me exactly the same way as he currently does. Occasionally he jokes about what I eat or something like that and I just laugh as I honestly do find it funny. I wouldnt want him to feelas though he couldnt do that anymore and he probably would as he is a very thoughtful and considerate guy.

Friday, 20 November 2015

Some recent dinners

Battered fish, mashed pumpkin and potato, carrots, peas, broccoli and cauliflower

Tomato pasta served on a bed of baby butterleaf lettuce 

Chicken nuggets with BBQ sauce, mashed veggies and boiled carrot, peas, cauliflower and broccoli 

Beef caneolli in tomato sauce, 1 Slice of fresh buttered bread, lettuce, red beet, cherry tomatoes and cheese

Beef bolognaise with carrot, cauliflower and broccoli 

Monday, 16 November 2015

Best weekend Ever

After being a little nervous late last week about meeting up with guy I had been chatting too via social media and also by texting, any nerves and anxiousness was overcome in the first 5 minutes or so and I ended up having one of the best weekends of my life. I honestly didn't know that boys like this even existed. He was honestly one of the most thoughtful, considerate and kind guys I have ever met and I feel so lucky to have ended up with him in my life.

I was so dissappoinnted when the weekend came to an end but am so excited as we are going to do it all over again next weeekend, but at his place this time. I am honestly just so thankful that we started talking and that I was brave enough to invite him down to my house. Its crazy to think that we had only been talking for about a week when he arrived at my place to spend the weekend with me, but it really did feel as though we had known each other really well for years.

I was so nervous when he arrived on Friday night as I didn't know if it was going to be awkward at all, but it wasn't awkward in the slightest. He didn't arrive until about 9:15 pm but we spent hours and hours chatting into the early hours of the morning and we never ran out of things to talk about. We both commented on the fact that everything moved so fast with us, one minute we were meeting online and the next he was at my place for the weekend and we were getting along as if we had known one another for years.

Even though I barely even knew him, I felt as though I had known him for years and I felt as though I could trust him completely. I felt completely comfortable around him and I also felt as though I could just be myself. He didn't expect me to act a particular way and I did not feel as though I was being judged by him for even a single moment. I honestly felt as though he acceppts me 100% and that is exactly the type of guy I feel as though I need in my life. Anyway, I could honestly go on for paragraphs talking about how wonderful this guy is so I will stop now,  but I think you get the picture anyway, he is a pretty amazing guy.

This past weekend has made me realise a few very important things that I thought I could share with you all. For starters, lifes way to short not to just go for an amazing thing when it comes along. Yes it all happened extremely fast with this boy, but looking back I wouldn't do anything differently. Through being brave and a little spontaneous, I ended up having one of the most amazing weekeds of my life with one of the most incredible guys I have ever me.

Amazing guys do exist; I had basically just accepted the fact that guys like Nathan didn't exist. But this past weekend has proven to me that their are incredible guys out there and that you just have to be patient and wait for them to come along.  Afterall, an amazing guy is what you DESERVE. I have never met anyone so kind, funny, charming and considerate in all my life and I honestly wouldn't change a single thing about him, even if I could. I really do feel the hppiest I have felt in years and it is all because of this amazing person and I hope that he is a part of my life for a really long time.

Also, I feel as though my anorexia didn't interfere with my weekend at all, even for a moment. I drank lots, ate out, missed breakfast, stayed up late and slept in until 10am, but in despite of all these things, I smiled more. Not once did I have an anorexic voice in my head making me feel anxious or uncomfortable. I felt so happy around this guy that nothing could ruin it, not even the monster that has caused me so many issues over the last few years.

Not even eating pizza or sharing an icecream after a huge meal from the bakery could get my anorexic thoughts going, I was simply just enjoying myself to much for anything to get in the way. I have a feeling that this is going to be a eally long week at work, waiting for next weekend to come along but I just neeed to keep telling myself that eventually it will be here and when the weekend does finally arrive, I know it is going to be fantastic!

Thursday, 12 November 2015

I love having a clean house

Athough I cant say I really enjoy cleaning up my house that much, I think that having a clean house at he end of it gives you the best feeling! I hate clutter and I hate mess but ufortunately I just dont have the time or energy whilst I am working everyday to get in and clean up. I know that the best solution to this problem would be to not let the place get in a mess in the first place, however no matter how hard I seem to try, the place always gets really messy.

Clothes end up on the floor in my bedroom, loungeroom and bathroom, dirty washing gets thrown in the laundry and the floor gets dirty too (mainly due to feathers and bird seed being scattered around tthe house from my bird cage. So Thrsdays have basically become my weekly clean up day. So today I have cleaned my sinks and toilet, done a load of clothes washing, Vacuumed and mopped all the floors, made my bed, unpacked my bags afer babysitting last saturday which were still sitting on my kitchen table, sorted all the clothes scattered around my house and I have completely cleaned my kitchen too.

So now it feels good to be sitting back and looking around at a clean and orgaized house. Also, another great thing about having Thursday to do all my housework is that it means I don't have to do it on the weekends. Instead, on the weekends I can just enjoy myself and relax. It is still rainly so I really dont think I will be able to get my washing dry. I think I will just put it in my mums dryer when I take Amy home today after she finishes school. Poor Tess isn't hapy that I haven't taken her for a walk yet today, but if the  rain stope I may take her for a little walk this afternoon.

Once I finished my housework, Ilaid n the couch to watch some Grays anatomy and actually fell asleep for almost an hour. By the time I woke up I was hungry so had a delicious lunch and now I am just waiting for my mum to come and visit me in her lunch break. Then it will basically be time for me to take Amy home. I hope that everyone is having a great day! :)

Egg, Mayo and Lettuce Sandwich with a creamy Blueberry yoghurt and an Apple

Having healthy relationship with exercise

If I had woken up on any morning over the last few years and had heard the rain, I would have most likely have instantly felt sick and anxious. The thought of being unable to go for my daily walk would have once terrified me, however this moning I did not have any of these feelings at all when I woke up to the sound of rain on my roof. In fact, I was incredibely excited to hear the rain as we are in desperate need of rain where I live at the moment and it is just what our farm needs.

I admit, that I do exercise a lot as my dog needs lots of exercise and I enjoy it too. Somtimes I find myself wondering if my relationship with exercise is uhealthy. Sometimes I do not know if I actually enjoy walking, or if it is actually my anorexia that just enjoys t so much. Feeling this way this morning was great though as it showed me that I don't have an unhealthy relationship with exercise. Feeling fine about having rest days because I am tired, too busy or because it is raining shows that my eating disorder does not control my exercise!

 To me, feeling completely fine about exercising proves that I do not use exercise as a form of compensation for eating. I just exercise because it makes me happy and makes me feel good. For example even though I knew I wouldn't get for my moring walk today, I still ate the same sized breakfast and morning tea as I usually do. It is uhealthy to feel as though you can only eat if you exercise. Sure eating gives you the energy you need to exercise, but you need food whether you exercise or not.

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Being underweight is bad too

It frustrates me that there is such a huge focus in the media on the importance of overweight people losing weight, however you never hear about how important it is for underweight people to gain weight. Afterall, being underweight can be just as harmful to a persons health as being overweight. I found the following article really interesting and thought I would share it with you all. not only does it emphasize the damgers of being underweight, bit it also offers advice about how one can healthily gain weight. 


Healthy Ways to Gain 

Weight If You’re 


Is being underweight really a problem?

Weight loss is a serious issue in the United States. Consumers constantly see advertisements and news reports on trendy diets, flashy products and magic pills promising to help them lose weight.
Given that the ongoing “battle of the bulge” is front and center for so many people, being too thin may seem like a good problem to have. But the reality is that being underweight can cause health problems.
Fat has a bad reputation for causing overweight and obesity. However, not all fat is bad. In fact, breaking down and storing energy (or calories) as fat is just one of the many ways the body uses food to function, heal and grow.
The energy stored in fat helps you get through a strenuous job or workout. It also plays a key role in brain development, preventing inflammation (swelling) and blood clots. Fat also supports healthy hair and skin.
It’s important to understand that balance is a key in maintaining a healthy body–whether you’re over- or underweight.

How do you know if you’re underweight?

Using a tool to calculate your body mass index (BMI) can help determine if you’re underweight. Your family doctor can also help determine if you’re underweight based on your height, weight, what you eat and your activity level.

What problems can being underweight cause?

People who are underweight typically are not getting enough calories to fuel their bodies. Often, they are also suffering from malnutrition, since they aren’t taking in enough vitamins and minerals from their food. If you’re underweight, you may be at risk for the following health issues:
  • Inhibited growth and development. This is especially true in children and teens, whose bodies need plenty of nutrients to grow and stay healthy.
  • Fragile bones. A deficiency in vitamin D and calcium along with low body weight can lead to weak bones andosteoporosis.
  • Weakened immune system. When you don’t take in enough nutrients, your body cannot store energy and may also have difficulty fighting illness. It may also be difficult for your immune system to bounce back after being sick.
  • Anemia. This condition can be caused by iron deficiency, folate deficiency and vitamin B12 deficiency, resulting in dizziness, fatigue and headaches.
  • Fertility issues. In women, low body weight can lead to irregular periods, lack of periods and infertility.
  • Hair loss. Low body weight can cause hair to thin and fall out easily. It can also cause dry, thin skin and teeth health issues.

What causes low body weight?

Low body weight can stem from a variety of causes. While some underweight people are otherwise physically healthy, others suffer from underlying health concerns that should be treated. The following are some possible causes of being underweight:
  • Genetics. If you’ve been thin since high school and being thing runs in your family, it’s likely that you were born with a higher-than-usual metabolism. You also may have a naturally small appetite.
  • High physical activity. If you’re an athlete, you are probably aware that frequent workouts can affect your body weight. However, high physical activity can also flow from an active job or an energetic personality. If you’re on your feet frequently, you may burn more calories than people who are more sedentary (inactive).
  • Illness. Being sick can affect your appetite, as well as your body’s ability to use and store food. If you’ve recently lost a lot of weight without trying, it may be a sign of disease, such as thyroid problemsdiabetes, digestive diseases or even cancer. Be sure to talk to your doctor about sudden weight loss.
  • Medicines. Certain prescription medicines can cause nausea and weight loss. Some treatments, such as chemotherapy, can reduce appetite and worsen weight loss from illness.
  • Psychological Issues. Our mental well being affects every part of our lives. Factors like stress and depression can disrupt healthy eating habits. Severe body image fears and distortions can also lead to eating disorders. If you’re suffering from damaging emotional issues, be sure to talk to your family doctor. He or she can help you get the care, assistance or counseling you may need.

Is it possible to gain weight in a healthy manner?

A weight gain program may seem like an opportunity for indulgence. Just grab some French fries and have at it! Unfortunately, just as healthy weight loss requires a balanced approach, healthy weight gain means more than adding junk food to your daily meals.
While eating junk food may result in weight gain, it will not address the nutritional deficiencies that come with being underweight. Further, even if the fat, sugar and salt common in junk food don’t show up as extra weight, they can still harm your body. To maximize healthy gains, try the following tips.
Add healthy calories. Without radically changing your diet, you can increase your calorie intake with each meal by adding nut or seed toppings, cheese and healthy side dishes. Try almonds, sunflower seeds, fruit or whole-grain wheat toast.
Go nutrient dense. Instead of eating a lot of empty calories and junk food, focus on eating foods that are rich in nutrients. Consider high-protein meats, which can help you to build muscle. Also, choose nutritious carbohydrates, such as brown rice and other whole grains. This helps ensure your body is receiving as much nourishment as possible, even if you’re dealing with a reduced appetite.
Snack away. Enjoy snacks that contain plenty of protein and healthy carbohydrates. Consider options like trail mix, protein bars or drinks, and crackers with hummus or peanut butter. Also enjoy snacks that contain “good fats,” which are important for a healthy heart. Examples include nuts and avocados.
Eat mini-meals. If you’re struggling with a curbed appetite due to medical or emotional issues, taking in large portions of food may not seem appealing. Consider eating smaller meals throughout the day to increase your calorie intake.
Bulk up. While too much aerobic exercise will burn calories and ultimately work against your weight goal, strength training– such as weight-lifting or yoga–can help you gain weight by building muscle.
Before beginning any major weight gain program, be sure to consult your family doctor. Being underweight may indicate an underlying health issue, which won’t be corrected by diet changes. Your physician also will be able to help you track your progress and make sure that healthy changes are taking place.

So... theres this boy

I feel strange writing about this on here but since I share everything else with you all anyway, I may as well share this too. And I feel as tgough I need to explain why once again my blogging might not be the best this weekend.

For the past few weeks, I have been talking to a particular guy who I have never met, but who is a friend of a friend. He is incredibely nice and easy to talk to and we seem to have a lot in common. The only bad thing is, he lives over three hours away which means that it is a very long way to travel, in order for us to meet up.

Despite this we have organised for him to come up to Swansea this weekend sonwe can meet and hopefully spend some more time together. I felt terrible asking him to drive all the way down here but he doesn't seem to mind at all which i think is so sweet. 

Something else I think is sweet is that he has agreed to come and watch my little sisters dance concert on Saturday night. I am pretty sure that going to something like that would be incredibely unappealing to most 22 year old guys, but he has said he will go anyway, as I guess he can tell its important to me.

So even though i havent actually met this guy in person yet, I can already tell that he is a great guy and I hope that things arent awkward at all when he arrives. We talk basically every day already so I dont think it will be hard for us to make conversation. But I suppose only time will tell. 

For so long whilst I was sick, I had no interest in guys what so ever. But now I feel as though I want a relationship, more then anything else. I feel as though a relationship would help me in my final stages of recovery as it would help to normalize my life and make me start acting more like a typical 21 year old girl.

Even if things dont get as far as a realtionship with this boy, I know that I have found a new friend who is an amazing person. So I feel as though it is impossible to lose in this particular situation. I am a bit nervous about meeting this guy for the first time but I am sure it will be fine. Wish me luck (although I really hope I don't need it!).

I just found this on line, hopefully it helps haha.

How to Make Things Less Awkward When First Meeting a Guy

by Beth Burgess, Demand Media Google

Laughing and smiling can help you feel less awkward.
Laughing and smiling can help you feel less awkward.
It is normal to feel a bit awkward when first meeting someone new, and this can feel especially difficult if it's a guy you might be interested in romantically. Girls may feel self-conscious and worry about how they come across to a guy, which can produce feelings of anxiety and stress. He may be feeling just as nervous as you, but luckily there are ways to put you both at ease and make the encounter less awkward.

Smile at Him
Take the pressure out of the situation simply by smiling. Not only does a smile look warm and welcoming to a guy, but it could actually relieve you both of stress. According to a study published in "Psychological Science" in 2012, smiling during a stressful event can reduce your heart rate, making you feel less anxious. The University of Kansas research showed that a genuine smile, which engages the muscles surrounding both the mouth and eyes, is even more effective for reducing stress than a smile using only the lips. Think briefly of a happy memory to bring about a genuine grin.

Make Him Laugh

When people feel socially awkward, humor can often help to break the ice. A study by John Jay College, which was published in "Group Processes and Intergroup Relations," showed that making a joke diffused tension when people were in awkward social encounters. A good introductory joke that doesn't sound too corny is: “When I told my best friend I was meeting you tonight, she advised me: ‘Don’t try to be too charming, witty or intellectual. Just be yourself.’”

Talking Topics

Other things that made people feel less awkward when getting to know each other included emphasizing common interests and receiving compliments, the University of Kansas research revealed. A good way of doing both things together is to pick up on an item of clothing he is wearing and tell him what you like about it. Perhaps you could compliment his shoes and tell him you have a pair that are the same brand. Or you could mention that his shirt is your favorite color.

Conversing Smoothly

People often find it difficult to have a flowing conversation with someone new, because they make short, closed statements, reports the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. For a conversation to flow, you must provide "hooks" that a guy can catch onto, so he can continue the conversation. A good way of doing this is by making a statement and then asking him a question about it. You could try: "I saw a great movie yesterday. Do you have a favorite film?" or “I'm going to a concert tomorrow. What music do you like?"

Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Loving food

About a year before I was diagnosed with anorexia, I remember actually stating, 'I could never be anorexic, I love food too much!' It wasnt until I actually got sick myself that I realised you could be anorexic and still love food. In fact, this is very common in many anorexics.

Even now that I have practically recovered , I would say that I love food more then the average person does. I dont know if I have always loved food this much or if it is only since i have had anorexia my love of food has developed. I think that it is perhaps a bit of both , what do you think?

I guess Loving food isnt a bad thing, as long as you are not obsessed. Being able to think about nothing but food all the time really isnt healthy and in my experience, this only happens when i am failing to provide my body with the energy it needs.

So altgough i still do enjoy and even look forward to every meal I eat, I no longer feel obsessed with food. Here are some pictures of two of my meals from today. I really enjoyed both of them, as I do all my meals. I Hope you are having a good week :)
Weet bix with vanilla yoghurt and buttered fruit toast

Just a little update

Yesterday was another positive and happy day for me which I am thankful for. The day started off very busy and hectic as I had to get all the kids I was babysitting off to school before I headed to work myself.

I was up at 5am with one of then as she had to travel back to boarding school in the city on the bus, so I ate breakfast with her and then headed for my walk with Tess as soon as she left. When I got back, I had to get all the other kids ready for school.

Once all the kids were picked up I had to head straight to work so that I wouldn't be late. I had a busy day at work which made the day pass quickly which was good. I was pretty tired by the time I got home from work so I just had some tea, walked Tess and then relaxed for the rest of the night.

Even though I have been quite tired lately, I am still feeling really happy, healthy and positive which is all I could ever ask for. I have realised that sometimes things happen in life that arent great, but we shouldnt let these things ruin our happiness. We just need to keep moving forward and enjoy life while we are here.

Today I am working at the bank again. I feel as though there is so much to do at work at the moment but I know I cant let myself get stressed out. I just need to keep a clear head and get it all done. I am just about to take Tess for a walk which I cant really be bothered doing to be honest. Having a snooze on the couch seems much more tempting.

I hope everyones week is going great. Enjoy your day :) x

Monday, 9 November 2015

Fight your eating didorder, I promise you wont regret it

Being a healthy weight and liking your body

Something that I never though would be possible for me when I was sick, was to be able to accept my body at a healthy weight. I can honestly say however that I do not only accept my body the way it now is, but I actually like my body now too.

Not only do I feel healthy and fit, but it is so good for none of ny bones to stick out anymore and for me to have a healthy bmi. I know that I no longer look sick to other people anymore and my body is no longer being harmed by me starving it of the nutriwnts and energy it needs.

If someone said I could choose to lose some weight instantly, I can honestly say that I actually would not do it. I really have no desire to lose weight anymore and dont want to be any thinner then I already am. I no longer see being underweight as desirable or attractive. I would much rather look fit and healthy, like I currently do.

Learning to accept and appreciate my body wasnt an easy task. But just like everything else in my recovery, I believed I could eventually do it and worked at it until it happened. If I have learnt anything in my recovery, it really is that anything is possible, even those things that seem completely inpossible, whilst you are sick.

My  whole life I believed that it was wrong to like the way you look but now I know that this isnt wrong at all. In fact, it is something we should all aspire to do. In no way does it make us arrogant, it only allows us to appreciate our bodies and have a healthy self esteem.

Sunday, 8 November 2015

Day at the river

I am so sorry I havent written any posts today. I have just been  flat out looking after the kids and really havent had time. Anyway, here are some photos from my day. We spent most of the day at the river which was great fun, even though I am sunburnt now.

Saturday, 7 November 2015


Luckily, I have not relapsed since starting my recovery but I know that even now, it is still a possibility. The important thing to remember if we do relapse is that we shouldnt ever be angry or dissapointed in ourselves. All that matters is that we recognise the relapse and move on from it healthily. I found the folowing information on th NEDC Website and though it was quite interesting so decided to share it with you all.

Relapse and recurrence

young adult female with book

Relapse can be a common part of the recovery process.

Many people with eating disorders experience a relapse or recurrence as they recover from their disorder and learn to manage their eating habits.
It should be kept in mind that a relapse or recurrence does not signify a failure to recover; instead, it should simply be seen as a normal part of recovery. Many people with eating disorders view relapses as an opportunity to learn from the experience and to improve their skills so they can cope with the relapse next time.

How likely is a relapse?

While many people with eating disorders will encounter a relapse or recurrence as they recover, those who display certain risk factors may be more likely to relapse during the process of recovery.
When considering how likely relapse and recurrence will be, the below should be taken into account:
  • The amount of time the person has been living with the eating disorder; the longer the duration of the illness, the higher the chances of relapse
  • The age of the person at the onset of their eating disorder; the older the person is at the time of onset, the more likely they are to relapse
  • Whether the person has been treated in a general hospital/clinic or a specialised eating disorder clinic; patients who are treated in an eating disorder clinic are much less likely to relapse
  • Whether the person carries out excessive exercise, even after recovery is complete
  • Whether an increased focus or recurring concern with body shape and weight is present, even after recovery
  • Low self-esteem or poor ability to interact with others
  • The occurrence of negative and stressful life events

Specific risk factors for relapse

In addition to the above risk factors, there is also evidence that relates to people suffering from Anorexia Nervosa. The following risk factors have been associated with relapse for a person with Anorexia Nervosa:
  • Lower per cent body-fat in recently weight-restored women
  • Lower desired weight (when a person wishes to be a lower weight even after recovery, there is an increased chance of relapse)
  • Consuming an overall diet of lower energy density or a limited variety of foods

If you have relapsed

It is valuable to still maintain hope even when relapse/recurrence has occurred. Remember that relapse is common.
While relapsing may feel like a step backwards, you can still learn much from a relapse or recurrence. For instance, you may be able to identify the triggers that caused the relapse or you may learn new coping techniques, which can help you recover more quickly or easily next time.
If you have relapsed, these tips may help you:
  • Remind yourself that relapse is a normal part of recovery
  • Try not to focus on the fact that you have relapsed; instead focus on finding your way back to recovery
  • Seek help from your clinicians or support network and don’t be afraid to tell them you have relapsed
  • Try to identify the triggers that have caused the relapse and consider how you could deal with these triggers next time
  • Employ the coping skills and techniques you have learned throughout the recovery process
  • Boost your self-esteem by spending time with your support network and/or engaging in activities that you enjoy

For more information on relapse and recurrence, find professional help in your local area or phone the national support line on 1800 ED HOPE.

Make the most of every situation

If I said I wasnt a little dissappointed about not being able to go out or socialise this weekend due to babysitting, im afraid I would be lying. The truth is, there are other things I would rather do on my rare days off then babysit kids however I am determoned to make the most of it and still have a good weekend.

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I have been feeling very run down and tired lately which as far as I know is only due to a lack of sleep. Therefore a weekend of relaxing and doing very little is probably exactly what I need! Besides walking Tess I literally plan to just relax and hang out with the kids both today and tomorrow. The two girls are at pony club and dancing so it is only the little boy who I need to currently look after.

I am just waiting for the girl to get home from dancing and I am going to take the kids up to my families place for a visit. I am looking forward to seeing my family and i think the kids also want to see the farm animals and feed the lambs. My best friend jemma is going to come and keep me company tonight which I am looking forward to and tomorrow we are hoping that it will be warm enough to take the kids up the river for a swim :)

Me with my youngest cousin 

I hope that everyone is having a good weekend.

Friday, 6 November 2015

Listen to your body

Dont worry :)

I just realised that the photo food diary I posted yesterday didnt include my breakfast in it (it must have somehow been deleted before I posted it). I just wanted to let you all know as otherwise it really wouldnt have looked as though I ate enough for the day, and I dont want any of you to worry. I have now updated the post so that it includes the picture of my breakfast too :)

Busy weekend

This weekend is going to be a big one but not for the same reasons it usually is. This weekend I wont be partying, working or socialising, instead I am going to be babysitting my cousins all weekend. I stayed out at their place last night (Thursday night) and will be staying until Sunday Night. I had a pretty good nights sleep last night which was surprising as usually I dont sleep as well in a strange bed.

The kids are all pretty well bahaved. The youngest is a 7 year old boy and then there are also two girls a 10 year old and a 13 year old. The eldest boy is 15 so I don't really have to babysit him at all, he is capable of looking after himself. I have bought Tess on with me so that I can take her for walks (which I am about to do now, before the kids need to get up for school.

I will have to drop them off on my way to work this morning and then I will be at work all day before having to come home and cook tea for them tonight. The rest of the weekend the kids will be all over the place as they have things like dancing and pony club but luckily they have lifts to all of those things so all I have to do is look after the kids when they are actually here.

I am feeling a little better after having a rest day yesterday. Although I did take Tess for a couple of walks, I practically spent the rest of the day snoozing on the couch and watching series. This is exactly what I needed though and I plan to make the most of a quiet weekend with the kids and get some more rest time in. I have had a constant headache for the last few days and I dont know if its because i am just warn out, if i am dehydrated or it ciukd wven inficate that i am a bit iron deficient, as this happens to me quite a bit (even before I ever got anorexia)

Thursday, 5 November 2015

What I ate yesterday

Please remember that as I am weight restored, I no longer need to eat as much as you may still need to eat. Pleease do dont confuse the amount I eat with how much you should be eating if you need to gain weight, as it really is not enough for that :)

cheerios with milk, toast with cashew spread

Diced fresh Pineapple and and a Vanilla Up and Go

two slices of buttered fruit loaf, kiwi fruit, peach and vanilla creamed rice

Apple and crispy M&M's

Apricot chicken with Rice and vegetables

Raspberry Ripple icecream