Thursday, 8 October 2015

Am I recovered yet?

Somedays, I almost forget about my anorexia and spend hours at a time just feeling completely normal. The truth is, even though I may still have occasional anxieties about my weight and food, I don't really feel anorexic anymore. I have come so far after spending so many years sick so I suppose that it is only natural that I still have unhealthy thoughts sometimes. Eventually I hope to be completely rid of these types of thoughts, but for now I am still happy as I am managing to live and enjoy life.

I think that the only thing stopping me from declaring myself fully recovered is that I still am scared of eating particular foods that are very high in calories and I am frightened of overeating too. Also, even though I accept my current weight and believe that it is within my natural set point weight range, I am still scared of gaining lots more weight as I am frightened with becoming unhappy with my body again.

Its strange because if someone asked me, 'are you anorexic?' My answer would probably be no. Because even though I am not fully recovered, I do not consider myself to still have anorexia either. To me, anorexia means being obsessed with food, obsessed with weight, unhappy, socially withdrawn and unable to live a normal life. None of these things describe my life any more and that is why I no longer would describe myself as 'suffering from Anorexia.'

So I feel strange as I know I am not fully recovered and healthy but I dont feel anorexic either, so what am I? I suppose it doesn't really matter what I may be, as long as I never fall back to where I was and as long as I keep fighting for full recovery, which I strongly believe exists. One day I will be able to say 'I had anorexia, but I fought it and recovered' but until then, I just need to keep challenging myself and moving forward.


  1. You can hold your head up high and say that you are recovering from anorexia. You make progress every day and fight like I've never seen anyone fight before. You are one remarkable young lady!!!! xxx <3

    1. Thanks so much Annie. You kind words and encouragement means more to me then you will ever realise. <3 xx

  2. You have done and continue to do an amazing job Karly. Pleases remember that although you are at a low end of healthy weight you are still actually very slim and just border line of healthy. There are some thoughts which won't go away until you reach your set point and feed yourself for long enough. You need to ask yourself if you are truly at your set point or if you are sub consciously stopping yourself from going further than you want to. I am so proud of how far you have come and utterly in awe of your fighting spirit. I know that if you do need to keep going with your weight, that deep down you will know what the right thing to do is. xxx