Extreme Hunger

At the moment I am feeling really hungry all the time. I am used to eating a meal every 3 hours but this morning after eating breakfast at 6:00 am, I was already starving again by 8:00. I decided to wait until 8:45 before having my Morning Tea but I have just read on the website 'your Eatopia' that this was the wrong thing to do. To read the article I read, click here.

I know that the article says that you should not stick to a certain intake amount if you feel hungrier but the thought of just eating extra and not sticking to my meal plan scares me so much. As I mentioned in my post yesterday 'Binging in Anorexia Recovery', the thought of binging really scares me and I feel as though this could happen if I stop following my meal plan. Eating all the food itself isn't actually what scares me, what I am frightened of is the way I know I will feel about myself afterwards, if I was to binge.

The article says that eating more wont make you relapse and that restricting will, but I don't agree with this. I know that I will not cope with a binge at all if it was to happen and that it would make me feel incredibely guilty and ashaimed. The last thing I want to do is make myself hate food and eating as I am finally really enjoying it again. What does everybody else think? Is it ok to just keep eating according to my meal plan and to ignore my hunger cues as long as I am still gaining weight?

I wish that I was strong enough to just listen to my body and eat the extra food but I honestly don't think I am yet. I know that I can gain weight eating what I currently am, atleast for a while and I would feel so much happier and less anxious if I just continued to follow my meal plan. Eventually, once I am weight restored I have full intentions of learning to eat intuitively, stop counting calories completely and to listen to my hunger cues.

I don't think I can cope with eating even more extreme quantities of food than I allready am right now as I am working on so many other aspects of my recovery as well. Afterall, I dont want to push myself too far if it is going to cause more damage than good in regards to my anorexia recovery.


I feel strange showing you all this weaker side of me, like I am somehow failing everyone who reads my blog as well as myself. I have been writing really positive things in relation to my recovery lately but it is important that I am completely honest on my blog and share my struggles as well as my accomplishments. There is no point in making everyone believe that I am practically recovered because I am definitely not. I know I still have a long way to go before I am weight restored and have a 'normal' relationship with food again.