Increasing my intake again

Usually I wait until Saturdays before weighing myself and then increase my calories if I have not gained any weight but today (Wednesday) I decided to increase my intake a few days early. I was doing some reading online this morning while doing some research for a blog post and came across the suggested intake for recovering anoerexics.

The site stated that I neded to be eating a minimum of 2500-3000 calories if I am sedentry to gain weight and provide my body with sufficient energy to recover. While I have been eating within this range, I am not completely sedentry as I walk my dog a couple of times per day (something which is unavoidable) so deep down knew I should be eating even more.

I have read articles with these figures many times before and have just presumed that somehow I was an exception and that I was eating enough. Today however I felt different when I read these facts. Suddenly I realised that I was not eating enough and that I still need to be eating more.

This morning I weighed myself and saw that I still have not gained any weight, even after increasing my calories on Saturday. I began to worry about what I would write on my blog if I failed to gain weight again this week. I don't want people reading my blog to think that I am not actually serious about recovery so I want to prove to everyone, including myself that I want to and can gain weight.

I could have waited until Saturday to make another calorie intake increase but what would be the point in that? Something else I read this morning by some recovered anorexics is that once they were recovered, they wished that they had gained the weight more quickly instead of taking so long to become weight restored. I have already wasted so much time being underweight and if I am going to become weight restored, I may as well gain the weight sooner rather then later.

While it was good that I made the increase on Saturday, today I felt ready and strong enough to make a more sifnificant increase. Today I increased my calorie intake by a further 250 calories and I am excited about the new plan I have created ( If you want I can post my new meal plan in a separate post). I am confident that I will be able to gain weight on this new intake and I actually feel pretty good about it. I can't believe how rationly and clearly I am able to think at the moment.

People have always told me that no one else can really make someone suffering from anorexia recover, except for the sufferer themselves. For someone with anorexia to recover, they need to be ready and decide that they want to get better. I can now say that I completely agree with this and that I think this break through moment has finally happened for me. For the first time, I really do want to gain weight and I really do want to recover. All of a sudden I can see a light at the end of the tunnnel and I feel as though recovery is possible.