Recovery won't just happen

So I weighed myself this morning and I still haven't gained any weight which shocks me because I feel like I am eating so much.  I have had a cold for the last week or so which could explain why I haven't gained weight as your body uses extra energy when you are sick but I know that I can't just use this as an excuse. It is making excuses like these for myself not gaining weight which has made me stay underweight for so long and I know I can't continue to do this to myself. I am still getting used to eating the extra amount since my last calorie increase and the thought of having to increase again scares me but I know I dont have a choice. If I want to recover I need to fight my anorexia and make it happen.

I really enjoy the meal plan I am currently following so dont want to change what it is I am eating for each meal so my only option is to add something extra to my plan. My smallest meal of the day is supper (dessert) so this is where I plan to make the increase. I would prefer my supper to be a bit lighter as I eat it only an hour after tea and don't like going to bed on a full stomach but obviously I need to increase my calorie intake and this is the best place to do this. I plan to add a hot chocolate to my supper each night to up my intake for each day. If I find I dont feel like having the hot chocolate straight after I eat my dessert which is usually ice cream or custard with fruit I can always wait another hour or so and have it closer to going to bed. I feel ok about this change and just hope that it is enough for me too see some weight gain over the next week.

I don't know how I can posssibely eat as much as I do without gaining weight but I know that a lot of energy is needed to repair my body after the way I have abused it. I also know that walking my dog twise a day is not ideal while trying to gain weight but I honestly dont see any way around this. She is a young active dog that needs exercise and when i'm not walking her she is tied up on a chain or inside with me. It would be cruel to leave her tied up all day without taking her for a walk and I love her so much, there is no way I could give her up. I will weigh myself again next Saturday and if I still havent gained weight, I will have to once again reconsider my meal plan and think about making a more drastic change. If I continue to increase my food each week that I dont gain weight, I will have to see some weight gain eventually. 

Since starting my blog I am feeling as though I need to better stick to my recovery plans and goals which is great. Before starting my blog I would put increasing my intake off and make excuses for myself but now I feel like I need to stick to my plans and stay true to my word for the sake of everyone else who may read my blog. I need to set a good example and prove to myself and everybody else that I am serious about recovery. Afterall, my blog is called Fighting Anorexia. Therefore I feel as though my blog is just a lie if I am not actually fighting for recovery.  

If anyone has any feedback or advice, feel free to comment. I am open to your suggestions :)