My goal weight

*please note. I have not talked about exact weights in this post but I have talked about bmi so if you think this may be triggering, skip this post :)

Today I got asked a really important question by a reader and thought it would be a good idea to write a post on the topic. The question was; 

I have got a question. When you write about a healthy bmi - which one are you thinking about? 18, 19, 20? :) i think there are different opinions about what is a healthy weight.

To be completely honest, while planning my weight gain throughout my recovery so far I have considered reaching a bmi of 18.5 as reaching a healthy weight as this is when I would no longer be classified as underweight. Since being asked this question however I am starting to remember back to my time in hospital when my doctor said that a healthy bmi for a recovered anorexic was atleast 20. I dont think I can really tell now what a healthy recovered weight will be for me and I may need to wait until I reach it before knowing that I am both mentally and physically healthy.

So I suppose you could say that the weight I will be at when my bmi is 18.5 is my FIRST goal weight or MINIMUM goal weight. After reaching this point I am very aware that I will most likely need to continue gaining weight.  Genetically, I am a thin person, just like both my parents and my GP has said that she thinks I need to get to xx kilograms (which is equivelent to a bmi if 18.5 for me).

I found the following information here and thought it explained the way doctors determine initial goal weight really well. 

A variety of factors go into deciding the target weight and range. Often, physicians will consult pediatric growth charts to determine a reasonable weight based on the individual’s height and age. These charts are important for revealing growth patterns and may show a tendency for the person suffering from the illness to be similar to a particular percentile within the population. Further consideration is given to lowest and highest weights the person has achieved within the last several months, as well as their growth and weight throughout their life. Also, they will look at the person’s body type, and the body types found within their family. “We note the height and size of her mother and the age at onset of menses in the mother and female siblings. We also note the patient’s growth and weight curve from the time of birth,” notes Dr. Katherine Halmi of Cornell University Medical College.

Becoming completely weight restored for me will not be when I reach this minimally acceptable bmi but when I reach my natural set point. At this weight I know that I will be physically healthy as my body will be able to work optimally. 

I would like to thank the reader who asked me this question as it has reminded me that reaching a minimally acceptable bmi does not constitute becoming weight restored. It has reminded me that while reaching this bmi may be an acceptable short term goal, my real goal should be to get my weight back to MY natural set point. Once I am satisfied that I have reached my optimum set point my plan is to stop counting calories and following a set meal plan and learn how to eat intuitively. 

For anyone who doesnt know what intuitive eating is, it is the concept of eating based upon what your body tells you it wants. I have read a fair bit about intuitive eating and believe that it is the best way to live a happy and healthy life. It requires you to have a lot of trust in your body as you need to listen to your body at all times without ever restricting. If you would like to read more about intuitive eating click here.

I found the following information from here really helpful to help determine what you natural set point is;

How do you know your set point weight?

A huge fear for people recovering from an eating disorder is to let go of control. Exercising control used to be the way to cope with difficult situations and negative emotions and in recovery you have to let that go. Focusing on a target goal weight reduces anxiety and fear because you “know where you’re heading”.

The truth is, after years of destructive eating habits, you can’t know upfront what your set point is, but in most cases it isn’t the lowest weight in the so-called healthy range. Depending on your age, you could only make a rough estimation by looking to your weight before your eating disorder.

Physiological speaking, there is only a small number of people whose set point weight corresponds with a BMI of exactly 20. In order to fully recover, you need to let go of the weight you consider acceptable. From my own experience I know this isn’t easy, but you can trust the wisdom of your body. At some point, your weight stabilizes at its most optimal weight. This isn’t a specific number, but a range in which your body genetically wants to be and gravitates towards, even when you have celebrated the holidays with elaborated dinners or when you spend an evening with a pint of your favorite ice cream.

You will know when you’re on your set point weight when all body functions are restored and your menstrual cycle has returned. However, return of menstruation is not always indicating you reached your optimal weight. When you can eat in an unrestricted way, without rules or compensatory behaviors and your weight remains stable, you’ve reached your set point weight.

When you change your diet when reaching a pre-determined target weight your body doesn’t get the chance to fully recover, restore deficits and reach your set point weight. I’ve been in the stage of partial recovery for years by maintaining the lowest acceptable weight set by my therapists while simultaneously pretending to be recovered. A combination which can never work. I was convinced the weight gain would never stop, holding me back from going the extra mile.

This is a fear many people in remission struggle with. Is it realistic? No! When you don’t change your food intake and continue to re-feed, allowing your body to recover and restore your metabolism, it will stabilize when it reaches its optimal weight.

In some cases, your body may need to overshoot its set point weight in order to return to a normal fat mass to fat-free mass ratio. However, this is only temporarily and will go away when all is restored. Be patient and trust your body.