A pretty easy way of telling whether you are truly in recovery or not is to think about whether you make yourself feel uncomfortable at times. What I mean by saying this is that when your anorexic thoughts arise, you don't just give into them but instead you fight them which will most likely cause you anxiety and distress. If you are not feeling upset and challeged at times and you are supposed to be 'recovering', then I would question whether you are truly recovering or not as recovery is painful.
Every time I told my family that I was going to make a special effort to recover, they tried to support me but I knew that they didn't believe that I would actually do it. I dont blame them for not believing in me as I had told them so many times before that I was going to gain weight and get better but I had failed to do so everytime. It wasn't until my family could actually SEE me eating more and SEE my weight gain that they realised that I truly was startiing to get better.
Just saying you are going to gain weight does not constitute being in recovery from anorexia, however actually gaining weight does. Similarily just saying that you are going to eat dessert does not allow you to make recovery progress. You actually have to eat dessert in order to get closer to making a recovery. In saying this I would like everyone to know that I understand what it is like to fail to follow through on recovery plans. I know that this does not make you dishonest or mean that you are not trying.
The point I am trying to make is that in order to recover you need to do more then just talk about recovering, you actually need to get in and do it. You need to push yourself to do what may seem impossible and actually fight your anorexia through your actions. If you are not doing this, then you need to try your hardest to do so as otherwise you wont recover. No matter how long you wait around for recovery to happen, it won't happen unless you actively take control of your life and make it happen.
This is my problem Karly. My family are so use to the talk but want more action. I try to look at it from their point of view but obviously the disorder gets in the way. When. I say I've gained 3 kilos in over a year they almost laugh and say they could do it in a week. I'm told you've so far to go. I thought I was doing ok but I do need to push more and challenge myself. The feelings are so hard to push through. Guess that's why I've never recovered. I haven't given up
ReplyDeleteI know it is hard Sonya but try not to beat yourself up over only being able to make slow progress. This does not mean you shouldnt be proud of yourself for the progress you have managed to make. It will get easier, just keep fighting :) x
DeleteI know it is hard Sonya but try not to beat yourself up over only being able to make slow progress. This does not mean you shouldnt be proud of yourself for the progress you have managed to make. It will get easier, just keep fighting :) x
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