You need to want recovery for yourself

I want to dedicate this post to a very special girl who I haven't known for all that long but who I have really connected to since starting to blog. Recovery is difficult for everyone but she has been sick with anorexia for a very long time which has made the changes she has already managed to make even more incredible in my opinion. I can see that this gorgeous and strong girl has the inner strength to make a full recovery but unfortunately she does not believe this about herself yet. 

I believe that to recover you need to want to recover for yourself as well as other external reasons. You need to love and respect yourself enough so that you feel as though you owe it to yourself to recover. Unfortunately my friend does not feel this way and I think that she will really struggle to fully recover while she continues to feel like this.

Before deciding you want to recover for yourself, you will need to learn to love yourself so that you believe you deserve to recover. 

Even before I got sick I hated everything about myself and would judge others around me who acted like they were 'in love with themselves.' Now I realise that they were right to feel the way that they did and that I was the one who was wrong. I realise now that respecting yourself and being proud of who you are does not make you arrogant or over confident. I think that the only reason I wrongfully judged others like this is because secretly I wished I was like them as I didnt want to go on hating myself the way I did.

I found the following tips on this website and thought that they may be helpful in allowing you to love yourself like you should;

1.) Change your vocabulary. What is the first negative thought that comes to your mind? It may be something along the lines of, “I can’t do this; I’m a failure!” Repeat your thought loud and clear for the entire world to hear. Come to terms with your negativity. Bottling up these intense feelings that you have towards yourself is unhealthy, whether it has to deal with doubt, lack of respect, and so forth.

Write this thought on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and toss it into the garbage. This thought can’t destroy you any longer! Like the old saying goes, out with the old and in with the new. Start saying the exact opposite; “I can do this; I will reach my goal!” Repeat this thought over and over again, ultimately locking it up inside of your head.

When you need a moment of self-affirmation, you now hold the key to release the positivity.

2.) Grab a pen, some paper and make a list. Write down your positive attributes, greatest abilities, and biggest accomplishments. Next, identify areas in your life that you feel need to be changed or improved. Once you’re fully aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you can come up with possible solutions to the latter of the two. Instead of dwelling on what you believe needs fixed, do something about it and stop making excuses to rationalize your behavior.

Prime example: “I failed this exam, so I’m obviously a loser. I’m going to give up now.” What should really be rolling through your mind is: “This too shall pass, and I will try harder next time. This is no time to give up because I’m much stronger than this.” A little belief in one’s self goes a long way.

You have to trust your journey and love yourself before anyone else can. Come to terms with underlying problems and do differently than what has failed in the past.

3.) Bring your “little voice” to the surface and really listen. The past is the past, and oftentimes, the little voice inside of our heads is merely a result of our past conditioning. It’s a bundle of experiences, could’ves, would’ves, should’ves, regrets, wishes, etc. Don’t let the past control your future. You hold the power to change your current situation for the better.

Your inner voice is only a wall, and that wall doesn’t have to be permanently erect. Bring your inner voice to the surface, actively listen, and dismantle any unnecessary fears that may pose a threat to your future success. Be the change that you wish to see in the world, even if it’s your world. Your world is no less important than anyone else’s, so don’t allow it to be.

“Once the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” Sure ,the caterpillar was probably unhappy in it’s former state, but now it’s free to fly away and embrace the life that it was always destined to have.

The following pledge I found online, wrote down and stuck to the front of my fridge. I plan to read it to myself everyday until I start to truly believe all of the words on the page. You may like to use this pledge, find another or write your own but positive talk like this really does help. I find that if you start telling yourself something enough times, even if you dont believe it at first, eventually you will start to believe it. 

While I have learnt to respect myself enough to know that I deserve recovery, I still do need to work on accepting myself for my imperfections as well as for the way my body looks as I continue to gain weight. To my gorgeous friend who is battling at the moment as well as all the other people out there who do not yet feel as though they want to recover for themseles, keep working on it. You wont develop this type of self love overnight but if you keep striving for it like I have, slowly it will start to happen.