Why you should never tease someone about their weight

In the years leading up to my eating disorder, I was constantly teased about my weight by my brothers and even my dad. I know that they weren't saying it to be really nasty or even because they thought it was true. Teasing is a normal part of sibling rivalry and I am sure that I teased my brothers just as much as they teased me. I think that the only reason my brothers continued to tease me about my weight is because they didn't have anything better to tease me about. At first, it didn't bother me as I wasn't worried about my weight. It only starting hurting me once I started to get a more womenly figure and started feeling more self conscious about my body.

My brothers were both quite thin so I started to feel like the fat one in the family and as there teasing continued, I started to believe everything they would say. Whenever I went to eat something unhealthy they would say to me "you will get even fatter if you eat that." They would also take any opportunity they could to tell me my bum was big or that I was simply 'just fat', especially during everyday arguements that go on between brothers and sisters. Even my dad who I have always had a really close relationship with would stir me up about my weight and what I was eating.

If the boys in my family realised how much this kind of teasing was starting to effect me, I know that they wouldn't have done it as they weren't trying to be horrible. They were only saying it as a joke but the problem was, I wasn't taking it as a joke.

I still remember so many of the comments that they paid about what I ate and my weight even to this day because they were tearing me up so much inside at the time. My little sister would hear everyone teasing me all the time about being fat so she even started to do it eventually. One day when she commented on something I was eating I just burst into tears.

Both my brothers and dad felt guilty when I was diagnosed with anorexia about all the years of them teasing me about my weight, but there was nothing they could do about it then. My older brother was quite upset when my mum told him I was in hospital as he hadn't known anything at all about my anorexia until then. The first thing he said was "Shit, but we have been teasing her for so long about being fat. We only ever said it because it wasn't true."

I have made it very clear to my family that I do not blame them at all for me developing my anorexia. This was just one of hundreds of triggers that have all contributed to me developing an eating disorder. From the following list of psychological issues associated with anorexic patients sourced from here, I have almost every single one of them. Therefore I believe my brothers teasing was just one of many factors responsible for me developing my anorexia.

Psychological Factors
Although every case is different, clinicians have noticed patterns in psychological issues with patients who have eating disorders.

For anorexia:
– fear of growing up
– inability to separate from the family
– need to please or be liked
– perfectionism
– need to control
– need for attention
– lack of self esteem
– high family expectations
– parental dieting
– family discord
– temperament – often described as the “perfect child”
– teasing about weight and body shape

{The only one of these Ididn't really have was parental dieting, all the rest were big issues present in my life}

So while I know that it did not necessarily cause my eating disorder, it certainly wouldn't have helped matters and did cause me a lot of pain. If you are being teased about your weight or can see someone being teased about their weight please speak up. That is what I should have done. If I had told my family how it was really making me feel I know that they wouldn't have continued to do it. No one deserves to be teased about being fat, no matter what size they are. I just wish there was a way of getting this message out there as most people, particularly males just don't realise how hurtful it can be.

Something else that you must always try and remember is that while we cant control what other people say, we can choose not to listen to them. I know it's hard and I have always been guilty of this too but don't let what other people say influence how you feel about yourself. Who cares what others say, try to love yourself for who you are and don't let anyone else change that.