There is nothing wrong with liking yourself

Growing up, I made the mistake of judging the people around me who seemed confident and proud of who they were. I don't know why, but I have always believed that it was wrong to like yourself, as I thought that this made you arrogant or a bad person. Now I can see that I was very wrong to think this way and that it was a massive mistake to judge those around me who actually liked who they were.

Perhaps the real reason I judged others around me who were confident and proud was because I wished I could be like them too. I was sick of hating myself all of the time but at the same time, I felt as though liking myself was wrong too. I rememeber looking in the mirror when I was really little and if I ever thought anything nice about myself, another voice would jump in and tell me that it was wrong to think like that. I believed that if I thought I was pretty or liked something about myself it made me a really bad person.

Is it possible that this voice, was actually the voice of my anorexia and it has actually been a part of me since I was 5 or 6 years old? I suppose it doesn't really matter if it was the voice of my anorexia telling me those things or not, all that matters is that I can now see that they were lies and that there is nothing wrong with liking yourself. I am curious as to why I have always believed that it is wrong to like yourself and be confident.

I think that I started too feel this way after something that happened when I was about 5 years old. I remember I was proudly walking around the house in a pair of new bathers before a swimming lesson feeling totally at ease with myself. My mum said to me something like 'It isn't very nice for little girls to strut around like that!' Back then my mum was my hero and I listened to everything she said and to this day, that moment has stuck in my mind so clearly.

I dont think for a moment my mum was telling me that it was not ok to like myself but that is exactly what I heard when she told me off. I did not only associate her growling to the way I was 'strutting' around, but I also associated it with how I was feeling, up until that comment was made. Afterall, I was feeling happy with how I looked and I felt really confident.

I think a lot of pople are bought up to have little confidence ad low self esteem these days and perhaps it is because our role models are like that. Many litttle girls follow in the footsteps of their mothers so if their mothers dont have any self confidence, chances are the child won't either. I think young girls need to be taught that it is ok to feel confident and to be happy with who you are. It des not make you over confident or arrogant, it just makes you accept yourself and feel good.